《Astral Reviews Vol. 2》Review 27- The Price of Gold
Advertisement
Plot (8/10)
The plot is exactly what I thought it would be and that isn't good. Although you can say as you wish in your synopsis, I shouldn't be able to fully guess whats going to happen next. Add some twists that can add more to your plot and how it develops. You want your plot to not only to not replicate something from before but present a new interesting idea.
Grammar (10/10)
I noticed no major issues with grammar. It all looks good to me overall.
Characters (9/10)
I see almost everything I need for the perfect dynamic characters. You bring your characters to life but it feels as if something is missing. Just one thing will make all the character seems perfectly in place.
Cover (7/10)
The cover is pretty interesting to look at. I was intrigued to see what it was about. Considering the name and what I was thinking about, your book wasn't what I thought it was. Your cover and story give me two different vibes in my opinion. I do not feel they are connected to one another as well oiled machine.
Title (8/10)
I will say the title is interesting but I don't fully feel it fits the story. I can see the appeal of the name but don't see how it fits the best. When there is a unique title for a story that can be replicated or made better, it not only feels right but it isn't an argument with any opinions.
Detail (8/10)
The detail is great but at times the setting is fully described. I would say to work on that so the sense of sight is enhanced more. Also, don't be afraid to add more figurative to the parts you descibe well. It adds another dimension to the description.
Advertisement
Originality (7/10)
I've seen a very similar idea to what you have going on here. It isn't really all that different from other books that I have read along the same lines as this one. It is extremely predictable.
Prologue/ Introduction(10/10)
Well, you actually had a prologue and it was pretty interesting. You didn't give away too much information but you gave enough to get a reader interested. A reader should be able to identify
Writing Skills (9/10)
The writing skills are very great for most of the story. I would focus most on diction in each chapter. That would help enhance your writing the most along with syntax and of course my mentioning of figurative language above.
Overall story(8/10)
All though there is a lot of great ideas mixed it, I felt I could predict what was going to happen. The more I see this in a book, the less I want to read it. When a reader looks at your book, they shouldn't know the turn it will take.
Overall Score: 84 (B)
Contact me with any questions or concerns.
Advertisement
- In Serial98 Chapters
Anarcho: A Cyberpunk Fantasy
Below you can find blurbs for each arc in Anaracho. Fracture Rating (Anarcho, #1) Theeeey’ve done it again! Max and Staxx have just hit the Tower Plaaaza just minutes ago, breaking CEO Tanaka Koji’s safe and baling with what’s estimated to be at least two point three biiiiillion in cash—not to mention the prrrriceless personal relics worth at least a second veritable fortune on the blaaack maarkeeet! Hooowwww do we know it was theeem? They left us clues! “Take it to the max” and “Staxx of cash” left behind, written atop a priceless Remvira painting in lipstiiiick from Koji’s bathroooom no doubt! “I don’t know…” Tanaka says as he scratches his head in evident disbelief while he nurses a broken lip. “One moment I was looking over the quarterly reports and then next thing I know I’m—I’m face down—eating tile and forced by two men at knife and gunpoint to open my safe!” It’s quiiiite a shocker for us over here, too! In case you don’t know, Tanaka Koji is the billionair heir and infamous playboy of the Tanaka Dynastyyy. They say his family’s worth at least four-hundred biiiillioooon and theyyy donnn’t skimp on SEEEECUUURITYYY! Soooo….. what does daad think about allll this? “I want them stopped!” Tanaka senior comments as he shakes a fist. “I am putting up a five-hundred million dollar reward for anyone who supplies information leading to the capture or death of those two thugs!” Weeell, there you have it, folks! Straight from the uuunicorn’s mouth! Again! that’s a whopping five-hundred million dollar reward for any tips that lead to the capture or death of those pesky thieves, Maaax and Staaaaxx! Any tips of information can be sent via public or in-home holo net devices by going to the page displayed—and don’t forget to— Staxx shut off the holo screen. “May called. She wants us to do another job. Tonight.” “You know we can’t. We got another one of our high and mighty overlords to visit at his luxury penthouse.” “That’s what I told her, too.” “Then stop yapping and let’s kick some ass!” “You know, Max, for such a small guy, you’re really intense. Don’t you wanna have some fun?” “Oh… we’re gonna have some fun, Staxx. We’re gonna have some fun...” * * * Hussy (Anarcho, #2) Max and Staxx board the ultrafine space cruiser Chylaxium in an effort to kidnap Kelly Hess, the daughter of the rich—but not a douche—Hess, who wants his daughter returned to him after she ran off with Laiwyn Scorr, a known smuggler and murderer whose evidently using her for her magical abilities to get to her father. Unfortunately it remains to be seen whether the little hussy will come easily. “Max, are you sure about this one?” “You know it’s a favor to May, after what she had to pull to get us outta that Yates thing.” “I know, but… just because you like her doesn’t mean we have to say ‘yes.’” “Come on, Staxx, it’ll be fun.” “Do we get to shoot stuff?” “Definitely!” “What happened to us robbing banks on the six o’clock news?” “Don’t worry—we’ll get to that after we do this thing real quick.” “All right, I’m down.” “Sweet.” * The Landfill Lich (Anarcho, #3) With independent, though highly discredited, news sources siting a dangerous creature killing people on the edges of Life City, Max and Staxx—in their boredom, decide to take up the investigation. They quickly discover that they may be in way over their heads, and that the source of this “terrible monster” or whatever, is in fact due to the carelessness of a mega corp—of course—and headed by—you guessed it—the mages. “Man, I’m so bored! Sure this thing’s even real?” “The bodies are real.” “If the overlords are responsible for whatever’s goin’ on, then somebody’s getting tossed out another window.” “That’s what you always say.” “’Cause it’s the truth, Staxx” “Well let’s check it out and see what we find.” “Takin’ guns.” “Hells yes, Max.” * Rescue Operation (Anarcho, #4) After taking out a Strogaus science mage and the monster he had created, Max and Staxx attempt to contact May—their ally and handler. But for the first time ever, a different person answers their call, indicating an irregularity that bodes ill for not only May, but for them all. “Damn! I wanted to meet May, but…” “Not like this?” “Do you think she’s still alive?” “One way to find out, Max.” “Listen, if this has something to do with Strogaus and that science mage we fed to his own monster, we’re puttin’ these guys in the ground, Staxx.” “Then let’s lock and load.” * Dreams of Forever (Anarcho #5) Max, Staxx and May—three Anarchos—set out to find Lexa a body so that she too can fully become part of the team. But what begins as an innocent shopping trip, soon turns into a storm of bullets after the team realizes what Invera-Tech is really up to. “No way can we let this stand, guys.” “Not like we can’t end the overlord’s dreams of forever with a few bullets.” “Then let’s drop some hot lead on these wannabe gods.” “Hells yes!” “But what about my body?” “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, Lexa.” “Oh—okay!” “Now let’s tear shit up!”
8 218 - In Serial13 Chapters
Beyond Limitations
Thousands of years in the future humanity has spread it's wings and influence across the galaxy. Wars over conquest, power and survival take place in hundreds of places far from Earth. Roy Stormbreaker, a young orphan who just turned eighteen was accepted into the Galactic Union of Nation, or G.U.N. for short. He's on his way towards the stars and leaving his home behind, hoping to find something better than what is left behind. But what waits for him hidden amongst the stars is more than the innocent adventures he had dreamed of. Instead, all he finds is violence and the more he runs away from it, the faster it pursues him. Between system consuming biological creatures that are under the control of Swarm Lords, rival galactic powers that fear the rise of mankind, harnessing magic long thought as dark energy and ancient influences, Roy must keep his head above water. But even that might be too much. Sex and relationships will be taken with a mature approach, depending on the characters. Basically, no harems. Chapters are released every Sunday, around 6:00 Central Time.
8 247 - In Serial15 Chapters
Thog: The barbarian
This is a story about Thog, and his unfortunate paladin, as he rampages throughout the land, kidnaps various creatures, and generally makes life for the paladin very, very, very, difficult.
8 208 - In Serial17 Chapters
Hightailing It
A simple story about a kobold, a dungeon, and making the best decisions ever. Story is written in 1st Person PoV.
8 141 - In Serial17 Chapters
Maxing Out From the Start!
Okuma Sho is a NEET who spends all of his time playing an MMORPG, Adventurous. At the ripe age of 21, he locks himself in his bedroom of his parent's house with no job, girlfriend, or life. One day, however, his mother had enough and kicked him out. With no other choice, he slowly makes his way to town when he collapses. He starts coming up with a scheme to take revenge, but he suddenly dies from a crash-landing plane as his plan comes together. He is then met with a God-like voice who decides his fate- a second chance in a whole new world! How will Sho use this second chance? Will he stop his NEET life or finally work like the typical person? Or... something else?
8 192 - In Serial376 Chapters
The Player that Can’t Level Up
Kim Gi-Gyu awakened as a player at the age of 18. He thought his life was on the track to success, climbing ‘the tower’ and closing ‘the gates’… But even after clearing the tutorial, he was level 1. He killed a goblin a day, and he was still level 1. Even after 5 years, he was still level 1. “Who would have thought that this kind of player would exist.” No one knew. Thank you for reading The Player that Can't Level Up novel @ ReadWebNovels.net Read Daily Updated Light Novel, Web Novel, Chinese Novel, Japanese And Korean Novel Online.
8 175
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
