Normally the Na'vi trained in hand-to-hand combat from an early age and when the time came to begin the real training they already had a strong foundation to lean on. Alva, being born a human on Earth, had none of that, and while the Na'vi melee techniques held similarities to the human jujutsu it was still difficult to get a hang of it. Tsu'tey had given her the most basic rundown of it he could after seeing how hopeless she was at it. After a few lessons and her managing to almost get close to him he decided that it was good enough. He'd never admit it but he was racing against Neytiri in getting his dreamwalker ready for iknimaya faster than she did hers. So far he was winning. By a lot too. The combat lessons left her sore, bruised and exhausted but it also left her stronger, more agile and faster. She was trained by the best after all.

Tsu'tey had told her once that he hoped she was better with a bow than she was fighting or she may as well just lay down and wait for death should a battle ever happen. She had smiled at him before patting him on the shoulder.

They spent more time working on the bow than they had fighting and Alva improved a lot each lesson. She was a natural, still not as good as a native but by far better than any dreamwalker he had ever seen. Alva loved target shooting. Well, she did after she figured out how to shoot the bow, before that she was ready to jump off a cliff every time her teacher brought the damned thing. Not to mention that Tsu'tey might have cheated the system and started bow training before finishing anything else, and tracking not far after that. Normally a Na'vi first learns to fight, then the bow, then tracking and after that all that the hunt entails. Alva had something more like, bow, track, fight, bow, bow, fight, bow, bow, track, bow, track, bow and now hunt. Wrong in every sense of the word but it worked for them, and it was normal for the trainers to adapt the training for their students.

It was raining heavily and a dark cloud loomed above them. Tsu'tey was watching her in one of the trees and she could feel his eyes burning into her. This was it, time to prove herself.

It was hard keeping on a happy smile when she knew what she had to do. Her friends had tried to cheer her up before but her heart was still just as heavy as before. Still, this was the Na'vi way of life and if she wanted to live amongst them as one of them she needed to accept that.

They, she, had stalked this yerik for days. It was blissfully unaware of her presence as she mainly kept to her beloved trees and it kept on grazing, kept on running and kept on living even as she counted down the hours until it wouldn't.

"Is it time yet?" She asked her teacher with a sad frown, hands clenching around the well-worn training bow.

He shook his head. ""

Alva nodded and turned back to watch her prey. This animal was going to be her ticket into the clan, a necessary evil she told herself. It would live on comfortably in the arms of Eywa, she would make sure of it. Alva would honor the yerik, it was the least she could do.

The rain had soaked through her hair and clothes before the stalk had begun but she could barely feel the steady downpour anymore. Her heart was closing in preparation and her mind had already started pulling her into the comfortable, warm clouds.

She took a few steps forward, being careful to not step on any twigs or anything that'd make a loud sound. The yerik briefly stopped eating, snapped its head in her direction before going back to eating. Alva let out a shaky breath of relief when the animal didn't notice her crouching in the tall grass. She felt like a lion or a tiger stalking a zebra, just waiting for the right moment to strike.

Alva pulled the lone arrow she had been given and put it in the right position. Her fingers ached as she thought back on the hours of training she had spent on getting the arrow right. Now it came naturally and she rarely made big mistakes while doing it. She stroked a finger on the feathers, before letting her hand fall, careful not to touch the tip.

The forest was as lively as ever with many different animal sounds, a harsh wind and rain. She had always thought the forest smelled the best during and after rain. Petrichor had always been a favorite of hers but there was something about running in the forest during the rain that just got to her. Growing up in a place that was dry most of the year and then hit with heavy rains had made her appreciate the blessing that rain could be and the healing that came with it.

The yerik had chosen a beautiful place as its final hunting ground. The trees were tall and not as close as she would have prefered. The ground was flat and covered in different plants, bushes and colorful flowers. Currently the yerik was standing on top of a cluster of glowing purple flowers and just a few steps away was a big patch of pink and blue ones. Bushes of all sizes filled with berries of all sorts and colors grew around the small clearing. Vines slithering up the heavy bases of the trees and moss that covered the stones and boulders only added to the calm atmosphere.

The yerik itself was a big one but by the slight tremor in its legs and the discoloration in its face she had noticed it was an old one. The Na'vi did not take the young, strong animals if they could avoid it. Tsu'tey had given her a pleased nod when she had chosen it and the approval sent a spark of happiness through her.

Another thing that made her proud was the fact that Jake wasn't even allowed to shoot his bow yet and here she was taking the next step before her iknimaya. She, the naive, weird little child with her head stuck in the clouds was going to do her iknimaya before the RDA golden boy ex marine, Jake Sully. A satisfied grin grew at that thought. She'd do it a hundred times over if it meant showing the RDA how wrong they were about her.

A few more steps forward and she hit the limit that she could go before the yerik would notice her. Alva glanced up at her teacher and he gave her a nod.

Suddenly it all felt so real. The rain and everything else faded away and all she saw was the yerik peacefully grazing, breathing and living. Could she take this life? Could she be selfish enough to do it? Alva's breath caught in her throat and tears welled in her eyes the longer she stared at the animal. Her hands shook and her whole body felt cold and sluggish.

It felt like an eternity passed before she gathered the strength to straighten the bow and aim it at the unsuspecting animal. One exhale, she corrected her stance, two exhales, she took half a step forward, three exhales and she placed all her focus on the animal, four exhales and she let the arrow fly towards its target.

Time seemed to stop as Alva watched her arrow soar towards the animal that would soon be dead because of her. She couldn't feel the rain on her cold skin, nor the harsh ground she had fallen down on, nor the death grip she had on her bow. And then when the animal let out a panicked and pain filled yelp before falling to the ground it all snapped back at her. The rain felt like stones as it fell on her skin, the ground like thousands of needles and the bow like a sharp knife. But none of it compared to the clenching pain in her heart or the burning tears in her eyes as she watched the yerik struggle on the ground.

She rushed forwards, dropping her bow and hastily grabbing her knife. Alva only had seconds and she had already wasted too many in stunned silence. She heard Tsu'tey's light steps follow her and the proud encouragements he gave her that she paid no mind to.

Falling to her knees beside the whimpering animal she took her knife and cleanly stabbed the creature right in the heart, whispering: "" Her voice broke several times and shook with sobs as the animal quieted down and joined Eywa.

She had practiced the prayer for many weeks to get the pronunciation perfect, if she spoke unclearly then Eywa might not hear her. Saying the words while holding a knife into a living thing's heart still wasn't something she could prepare herself for, or the absolute heartbreak she felt at killing it. Her heart was clenching tightly, her breathing shallow and tears running like rivers down her pale cheeks.

Alva sobbed and placed her hands on the yerik's side before leaning her forehead on the still warm skin. "Never make me do this again." She cried to Tsu'tey without looking at him. "Promise me." She snapped at him with red eyes and quivering mouth.

"I can't." He told her with a frown. Tsu'tey hesitated before coming closer. "Still, I am proud. You have done good, my little leaf. You're ready for iknimaya."

Alva sobbed at that, a mixture of bittersweet happiness and lingering sorrow. Pride simmered along with the harsh mix of sadness and emotional pain, and she hated that she could already feel the pain at killing the yerik leaving her. Maybe that was one of Eywa's gifts to her, maybe that was a sign that Eywa had accepted the yerik into her waiting arms and that it was okay for Alva to let go.

"It's okay, Alva." He whispered in a rare soft tone, pity in his eyes. "It is the way of life. We take only what we need and the balance remains."

"That doesn't make me feel any better." She muttered and pulled her knife out of the animal.

"It was not supposed to." Tsu'tey shrugged and squatted down next to her, grabbing the knife from her and in the process touching a few of her fingers.

Alva looked up at him confused. "What do you mean?"

Her teacher's lip twitched. "" He gestured to the scene. "" This was the most emotional talk that he had ever had with her and already he could feel himself cringe and crawl. Had he known that she would cry like this he'd bring Neytiri to deal with her.

He hesitated again but slowly pulled her into a side hug, knowing that she needed the comfort that only physical touch could give. Alva wrapped her arms securely around his middle before he could regret initiating the hug and sighed softly. Tsu'tey flinched but otherwise didn't move away as he normally would have done.

"So... did you cry too?" She gave him a sly grin and dried some of her tears.

He snorted and gave her an offended look. "" Tsu'tey told her with a frown. "" He was more comfortable having this conversation in Na'vi where he could properly express himself and not have to use that demonic language called english but he still hated every second of it. Tsu'tey was not ready for deep talks with Alva, or anyone.

"You big softie!" Alva joked and slapped his arm lightly. "My name is Tsu'tey and I hate everyone but I still cry when I step on a bug." The dreamwalker mocked him.

With an offended growl he pushed her away from her and stepped away. Alva burst out laughing and with each second of hysterical laughter that passed she seemed less and less affected by what she had just done, and more and more ready for the next step.