Jack-

Here is the thing, I'm drunk. Like really drunk. This was not suppose to happen. We were just going to the bar for a few pints after our show in London, thats it. Now, we are at some club that Rye got us in to where the music is too loud, the drinks are too watered down, and I can't see more than ten feet away from me because of the cigarette smoke.

Mikey is at the bar chatting up some girl he saw. Andy and Rye went to the bathroom together and haven't been back for thirty minuets. Brook is on the dance floor dance with who knows. I, with out knowing, volunteered to sit at our booth so no one will take it, but I'm perfectly content with that. I feel like even if I try to stand, I would fall on my ass.

Mikey comes back with two drinks and a smile on his face, "got that bird's number, but then her boyfriend came back from the bathroom," he starts to laugh, "sluts these days man."

I roll my eyes. Thats why I don't bother with anyone, no one is faithful anymore. I sip on vodka coke and watch the lights as they move around the building until it starts making me feel sick. I think its about time I stop drinking.

Mikey leans next to me, "mate, Rye got sick so Andy is taking him back to the hotel. You ready to go back?"

I look into the crowd, then back down at my phone. 3 am. As much as I didn't want to move, the feeling of falling asleep is calling me. "Yeah."

"Do you want to find Brook or me?"

"I'll go, it shouldn't take long."

"Ok, see you at the door. I'm going to close the tab."

We separate and I stumble down to the swarm of bodies that are moving around. The air is so hot, the bass is vibrating the floor, and I cannot tell the difference between one person and another. This is going to be harder than I thought. I walk around the dance floor until I finally spot the little blonde hair boy dancing with some girl. He was laughing, smiling, being free. Being beautiful. His skin shined in the dim light and I can see his chiseled bone structure from a mile away.

He looks up and we make eye contact. His big, green eyes shining through the hazy atmosphere. I bite my lip and motion him to come towards me. He gives the girl a little kiss on the cheek before working his way off the dance floor. I have always been jealous of the older lad. It is literally effortless for him to look great. His voice is perfect, face is perfect, his body is perfect. I just want to look like him with out looking like I'm trying too hard.

Before I knew it, Brook is standing right in front of me, "Jackie, I'm drunk," he mumbles before giggling and wrapping his arms around me.

I smile because his smile is too contagious, "me too mate," I slither my arm around his waist, "lets go to the hotel. Time to sleep."

"Okay, will you sleep with me tonight?" Brook asks as we are walking towards the door.

"'Corse babe," I smile.

He hums and gives me a small kiss on the cheek. Brook has always been an affectionate person. He is not afraid of PDA and to tell you how he feels about you. That's one of the things I admire about him.

We catch up with Mikey and the uber takes us to our hotel. Thank god there was water bottles in the car because I needed to sober up a little before we arrive. Rye and Andy are sharing a room, Mikey has a single room, and Brook and I are sharing a room. When we make it to our doors, Mikey pulls out the keys, "if you guys need anything let me know, I'll keep the door that connects our rooms unlocked."

"Alright, thank you. Night mate," I mumble grabbing our key from Mikey. Brook is now leaning all of his weight on me. His face is buried in my neck with one of his arms wrapped dangerously low on my waist and the other hand on my shoulder. Its a good thing the car ride sobered me up a little bit because we would both be on the floor right now.

"Do you beed some help?" Mikey laughs.

"No, I got it," I answer.

"Alright, night you two," he shuts his door and I turn to face mine.

It takes me a couple tries to find where to swipe our key. When I finally got it open, I guide Brook to his bed and lay him down. I take off his shoes and he instinctively curls into a ball and grabs onto a pillow. I smile. He looks so peaceful. His facial features completely relaxed, beautiful. I can't tell if its the alcohol or the lack of love I've been getting, but I can't help but feel attracted to him. There is a warmth growing at the pit of my stomach. I blush for a second, maybe taking a shower will help calm me down.

I grab a pair of boxers from my suitcase and make my way to the bathroom. After I was done, I felt like a new person. With only a slight buzz left from the night, I make it to my bed not even bothering to look at Brook because I didn't want to feel...that again. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I heard Brook moving in his bed. My heart begins to flutter as I think about what he is going to. That, however, stops when I hear the bathroom door open then close. I turn my head to face the door and I listen as the shower turns on.

This really sucks. I have never had these types of feelings for a guy before, let alone being one of the guys I'm closest to. Maybe I am just thinking too much about this, or maybe I am not even jealous of Brook, but I am admiring him.

Shit.

He can be so hot sometimes. His sharp jawline sprinkled with stubble, his strong chest and abs I can only wish for, and his goddamn smile. I just wish I had it all, but instead of it being on me, I want it to be with me. I want Brook. Wait, how did I get to this point?

I'm not even gay. Well, maybe a little. A little kiss with your friend is ok, right? Just a bit of banter. Nothing more, right? I have never really thought about it being any thing else. The little pecks on the cheek, neck, and forehead. The lingering touches, looks, and cuddles. I haven't only been doing that to Brook. Plus, the other guys do it to each other too.

I watch as a soaking wet Brook walks out the bathroom. His hair is messily placed on his forehead, water droplets are sprinkled across his body, and his towel is hanging dangerously low on his hips. I close my eyes, pretending to sleep, and listen as he shuffles through his clothes in his bag. He curses at the bag which causes me to smile.

Then, for a second, everything is quiet. I assume that he was about to lay in bed, but to my surprise, I feel a dip in mine. My heart starts to race as the sheets get pulled back. He lays down so close to me that I can feel his body heat. His face is so close to mine, I can still smell the lingering alcohol on his breath.

"Jack?" His sweet voice, merely a whisper, causes my heart to stop. Maybe I should pretend to sleep, but my mouth moved faster than my brain.

"Yeah?"

"You said that you would sleep with me."

I open my eyes and find that Brook isn't even looking at my face, but down at my body. "Yeah, I did." I answer.

He looks back up at me, "cuddles?"

I didn't even speak, just moved to lay on my back. Brook slipped one of his legs in between mine and had one arm laying across my chest. My bare chest. That's when I noticed that he wasn't wearing a shirt either. Our skin is touching and I can feel my heart beating faster because of it. He lays his head down on my shoulder before pressing his forehead against my neck. He places a light kiss there before moving his head down to my arm. I can feel my body heat up and my cheeks beginning to flush. What makes it worse is that he has no idea what he is doing to me.

He picks up his hand and begins to do light strokes across my chest. "Your heart is beating so fast," he notices, "whats wrong?"

"Well, I am trying to figure out if I like you or not and you being on top of me almost naked is not really helping..." is what I should have said, but what came out was, "nothing, probably that alcohol."

"Oh." He sounded almost...sad? I really don't know. I start run my fingers through his hair. "Jack?"

"Yeah babe?"

"I love you."

I look down at his face, "I love you too."

He leans up and presses a sweet kiss to my lips and I kiss him back. Nothing different then the other ones he has given me before. A completely platonic way of showing appreciation for each other.

Brook is such an amazing person. Anybody would be lucky to have him as a friend, lover, boyfriend, or anything. He is loving, smart, funny, and I am just glad he is in my life. I need to put these questioning feelings to the side because I do not want to mess up what I have now. Our friendship is too important to me.

"Goodnight Jack."

"Night, Brook."