A wise man who was placed in prison for twelve years because of his faith once wrote, "Don't wipe away your tears. Look through them. Sometimes tears have a way of bringing clarity." I'm not quite sure what that means, but it sounds like he was saying not to bury grief, but to embrace it. I don't know how to embrace my grief either, but I'll try my hardest.

I zipped up my sweatshirt as I walked my bike up the icy hill to our neighbors' house. Mother-Mom-asked me to bring the twins back home from where they had a sleepover at their friend Garret Fontino's house.

Walking up the Fontino's front drive, I spotted Garret and Willa romping around in the snow and pretending make-believe and looking like they were having the time of their lives as twelve year olds can. I suddenly felt very old and grown up as I watched them play, not sure if I liked that feeling.

"Hey, Willa," I called out to my little sister. She ignored me, of course. Little sisters. "Willa-"

"She's angry at you." Z's absent voice drifted down from somewhere above me.

I looked up and around. "Z, where- oh."

My younger brother was sitting up in a big chestnut tree, reading a book. "Garret's," he explained, holding it up. "The Swiss Family Robinson. It's a good book, Nik. Ever read it?"

I frowned. "No... why aren't you playing with Garret and Willa?" My sisterly instincts kicked in, and I eyed the two playing children. If they were bullying Z...

Z laughed softly, his voice carrying on the faint wind. "You don't have to worry about me, Nikki. I just liked sitting up here better than sitting down there. It's easier to read about a family that lives in a treehouse when you're sitting up in a tree, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean." I sighed. "Hey, Z, it's time to go home. Are you ready?"

He nodded solemnly. "Yeah, I am." He handed down his book to me before climbing down. "Hold it for me?" he asked.

"Sure." I took the book and tucked it under one arm. "And, Z... about Nolan..."

"I know what you're going to ask, and I'm fine. Are you okay, though?" Z looked intuitively at me, his cornflower eyes boring into my muddy grey ones.

I shrugged, avoiding the question. "Cmon, let's get Willa."

Z raised an eyebrow but followed me over to where Willa was playing with Garret.

Willa ignored me completely, packing snow into a ball with her mitten-clad hands and pelting it at her friend. She missed entirely, but still seemed to be having fun. Although...

"Willa, we need to go home," I told her firmly.

She ignored me again.

"Willa, I do not have patience to deal with you right now. Come on."

After a moment, she acknowledged me, wheeling around and glaring furiously at me. "No! I'm going to stay here!"

I gave her a death stare and drew myself up to my full height. Garret, sensing the storm coming, muttered a hasty "See you later" and dashed inside to the safety of his house.

"Willa Iris Frampton, you will come home with me. Right now." I grabbed the back of Willa's coat, ready to drag her home if I needed to.

Willa went limp, forcing me to drag her across the yard.

I bit my tongue in anger, tasting iron. "Willa, I don't understand why you're acting like a two year old! You're twelve! Get up!" I don't know why she's being so stubborn and babyish. She's plenty old enough to act her age....

Realization dawned on me as Willa stood up and faced me. Angry tears streaked her face and she gave me a look of pure hate. "What. Is. Your. Problem?" she hissed at me, barely able to speak. "Why are you such a jerk?"

I blinked at her. And sighed. "Look, Willa, I'm sorry I didn't-"

She sliced off my words with a wave of her hand. "No, Nikki. Why. Didn't. You. Tell. Me? About Nolan? Garret's mom told us, an hour ago. Why didn't you come get me earlier? Ever thought that I care about how my family is doing? That- that I wanted to know if my brother is dying?"

I've never seen my sister this angry before. "Willa, I- "

"No. I'm never talking to you again. Ever." Willa stomped past me, towards the street. "Z, c'mon," she yelled over her shoulder.

Z looked at me, his eyes asking what to do.

I sighed again. Dumb, hotheaded siblings. This kind of situation is exactly what I hate.

I started towards Willa, my eyes on the snow, dreading the conversation I was about to have with my sister, but Z called, "Wait!"

Frowning, I turned around. "What?" I asked him, wondering what made him yell that. But I stopped in my tracks when I saw his face, white and drained of blood. I could see every one of his freckles.

"Willa, WAIT!" he screamed at his twin. "WILLA-"

I whirled around just in time to see Willa, standing on the street, staring with horror as an oncoming car raced toward her, its tires slipping on the thick sheet of solid ice on the street. The driver waved frantically at her, screaming, "Get out of the way!"

But she didn't move.

She just stood there, paralyzed, staring as the car slid toward her at an alarmingly fast rate.

Time seemed to slow down.

One second.

Two seconds.

I scrambled towards my little sister at a speed I didn't even know I possessed. I grabbed her and tossed her out of the way of the car, safely on the other side of the road... seconds before it hit...

me.

Everything went black.