A/n: hi! It's been a while, and I sincerely apologize for not updating for so long. However, this delay was due to good reasons, so that's something:)

Just gonna be honest with you guys, I'm starting to wrap up this fanfic. It was originally meant to be much shorter, but I like how it turned out! So obviously there are gonna be more updates and probably an epilogue at the end, but if there are some plot lines you feel like didn't get a proper ending yet, please let me know! I'm mainly talking about minor ones I might have forgotten, but anything that comes up would help me give this story the ending it deserves.

Enjoy <3

"So I'll pick you up from the O2 and we'll go straight from there?" Jed asks Jade as she looks at his face on her phone screen, and hears his voice through her earphones. Today is a rare day in which both Jade and Jed have found themselves in London at the same time, and they are planning to go out right after Little Mix's guest appearance at Jason Derulo's show.

Jade is feeling quite down today. She is not looking forward to performing with Jason, because she still holds some resentment for having to fight with management over whether this song will be a single or not, and after it was decided it will be, what its video was going to look like. Then, there was her unclear situation with Jed. She feels like he deserves to know that she kissed Perrie, but at the same time, she does not want to tell him about it all. She has not known him long enough to correctly assume how he is going to react, and does not want to find out. So in the meantime, she makes excuses for herself. Like that maybe Jed won't care at all, because Perrie is a woman and that will make him see it differently, like it is not really cheating. It might now be so bad after all.

"Jade?" Jed asks, and Jade comes back to reality. There is plenty of noise and people around her, as they are about to go on stage, and she finds it hard to focus on anything.

"Yeah, sure," she finally replies. "Do you mind if I invite a couple of friends as well?" She quickly asks, before she has the time to regret her own words. Jed and her have been dating for about a month now, but truth is, Jade does not feel comfortable around him just yet. Not as his girlfriend, at least. She would much rather it if there were other people who came along, and knows exactly who she wants there. Jed, however, is not too excited about this idea. This is one of the rare nights they get to spend with each other, and he does not necessarily want it to include anyone else. "I want you to meet my friends," Jade tries convincing.

"You know what? Sure. I want to meet your friends," Jed says and cracks a smile, making Jade's heart race; she cannot wait to invite Perrie. It has been forever since they last hung out like this.

"I gotta go, but I'll talk to you later," Jade tells Jed. They are still in the awkward stage of the relationship, where they have not said their I love yous yet, and no goodbye feels natural.

"Okay. See you," he replies and hangs up. Jade takes out her earphones and immediately rushes to find Perrie. Luckily, she is only a few steps away, getting her makeup retouched by Adam. "Hi," Jade begins.

"Hi Jadey," Perrie replies with the smile she has saved just for her.

"Jed and I are going out tonight, and I was wondering if wanted to come too," Jade asks, not directing her words towards Adam or Perrie, but hoping Perrie will be the one to say yes.

"Oh, where are you going?" Perrie asks.

"I'm not entirely sure yet, but I think it's going to be the Drama Park Lane. Jed likes this place a lot," Jade answers, disconnecting her gaze from Perrie's as she mentions Jed's name yet again.

"I have an early shoot tomorrow morning, so I'll have to pass. But Pez, you should go," Adam says, and Jade grows more anxious by the moment. There is nothing she wants more than for Perrie to agree.

"Yeah, why not," Perrie replies, and to Jade's relief, they are called to stage before she can show how happy she is with Perrie's decision. As they rush backstage, Perrie counts in her mind all of the reasons why she should not have said yes. And there are many of them. Jade, Jed and her are stuck in some sort of love triangle Perrie is yet to figure out, and does not exactly want to. Moreover, she does not want to see Jed at all, and only the thought of him kissing Jade makes her feel nauseous. On the other hand, she does miss Jade. And this emotion is stronger than anything else.

Jesy, Leigh-Anne, Jade and Perrie go on stage, and three of them are admiring the crowd with curious eyes. No matter how many times they will be able to perform in front of so many people, it will always feel special, never like a routine. Jade, however, is unable to think of anything but what big of a mess she has created for herself. It hits her just like that. Inviting both her boyfriend and her ex girlfriend whom she cheated on her boyfriend with - what was she even thinking? She cannot enjoy the performance, not truly, and is rather relieved when it is over.

Once back she is in the dressing room, Jade checks her phone and finds a text from Jed, saying that he is in a cab, waiting outside. Jade begins to panic. Perhaps she should simply come up with an excuse, say she is not feeling well, and ditch the night Jed had planned altogether. She wants Perrie to come, but she knows it will not be a good idea if she does, and Jade has no idea how she is meant to tell her that. Jade types out an apologetic text to Jed about how tired she is and how she would rather stay in, but is not quick enough to hit send before Perrie approaches her.

"Hey," Perrie begins with a hint of unusual awkwardness in her voice. "I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if I should come tonight. I don't know Jed, I really don't, and I'm sure he's lovely, but he still reminds me of stuff I'd rather forget. So I think I might just stay home."

"It's okay," Jade quietly answers.

"It really isn't, I already told you I was coming, and I can see that you're a little disappointed right now, even though you're trying to hide it. I just don't want anything to be awkward, and… you, Jed and I going out together is pretty awkward," Perrie explains. She adds a little laugh at the end of her words, for the sole purpose of brightening up the heavy conversation a bit.

"Maybe we could invite another person? Will that make it better?" Jade asks. She understands how desperate she probably sounds, but she cannot help it. She wants Perrie to be there. In that moment, Claud passes by them as he grabs his belongings on the way out. "How about Claud? It won't be awkward if Claud will be there! Hey Claud?" Jade calls. She is making quick decisions, and is not even sure if any of them are good. Claud joins Jade and Perrie, and Jade offers him to come along to the club. He happily agrees, saying that he has not gone out in way too long, and Jade feels both satisfied and scared.

Claud leaves to finish gathering his belongings, and Jade and Perrie are left alone again. Jade comes close to Perrie, closer than she has been in weeks with the exception of their kiss, and quietly talks to her.

"It will be fun," she assures her, then picks up her bag and leads Perrie and Claud out of the venue and into the cab, where Jed is waiting in the back seat. Jade smiles as she sees him; they may not be the best match romantically, but she does like him as a person, and enjoys talking to him. She takes the seat next to him, as she feels like she is required to under the title of his girlfriend, and waits for Perrie and Claud to enter the vehicle. She wants Perrie to squeeze into the backseat, next to her. Jade craves Perrie's touch, even if it is as meaningless as a touch of hips due to lack of space. Jade cannot tell whether or not Perrie is thinking the same thing as she takes a few extra moments before choosing to sit at the passenger's seat, next to the driver.

They begin driving, and it is the moment where Jed puts his arm around Jade when Perrie realizes just how much she is going to need to drink tonight. They have not even arrived at the club yet, but she is already feeling jealousy starting to take over her. She decides to keep her distance from Jade tonight; she does not want the past to repeat itself. She cannot let anything happen between them again, especially not when Jed is around.

As the vehicle comes to a stop, camera flashes are seen through the tinted windows; the photographers must have followed the car from the venue. It is agreed that Jed and Jade will step out first, with Perrie and Claud following.

Inside, the four are escorted to a table in the corner of the quieter section, where it is most likely they will not be bothered. It occurs to Perrie just how well it had worked out that she has Claud by her side tonight. He loves going out, and is what Perrie jokingly defines as a 'bad influence'. When Perrie is with him, she tends to drink more than she usually does, and stay later than she usually does, and wake up feeling worse than ever. Since she is going to need a lot of alcohol in her system tonight, that would be useful. Claud orders drinks for everyone, and Perrie tries drowning hers quick enough for it to have a strong effect on her, but slow enough for it not to be noticed. After only this one drink, Jade and Jed go over to dance. Even though Perrie has Claud with her, and they are talking as much as they can over the loud music, her gaze is constantly searching for Jade in the mass of people.

"You okay?" Claud stops mid sentence and asks. He can easily tell how distracted Perrie is.

"Yeah, it's just that… well, I don't know if you know, but Jade and I broke up," Perrie explains.

"She's got a boyfriend now, so I guess I kind of figured out that one on my own," Claud replies with a smile as he takes another sip of his drink.

"That makes sense," Perrie mumbles, feeling a little embarrassed. She was worried about having to tell people that Jade and her broke up, especially after how much they have been through in order to tell the people who know about their relationship. Though it looks like Jed's existence is confirmation enough, which makes Perrie feel pathetic. Everything that she has to fight and work harder than she ever did for when it comes to Jade, is freely handed to Jed. He does not have to hide anything he does with Jade, nor does he need to arrange meetings about it and build strategies. Everyone knows that Jade and him are a couple, and no one really has a problem with it. The thought of it saddens Perrie, and she has another drink in hope of feeling less of everything.

She quickly becomes bored. She would much rather dance right now, or at least have Jade by her side. At the same time, though, she does not want to go anywhere near Jade. The temptation to feel her lips might be too strong, which is something she has promised herself she will not act upon again. With Jed around, too, that should not even be a possibility. So Perrie tries to distract herself, and grabs a plastic straw from the center of the table, where there are many of those for the clients to use. She tries to busy herself by playing with the straw using her hands, but it does not interest her much, so instead, she starts pinching Claud's arm using the straw.

"Hi Claud," Perrie says and giggles as he looks at her. He is a annoyed but mostly amused, and returns a teasing smile. Both him and Perrie have a childish, playful side to their personalities, and when they are together, they bring out the best in one another. Claud remains too indifferent for Perrie's liking, and she continues her actions, eventually getting to Claud's thick hair. She sticks the straw in Claud's hair, and to her surprise, it stays in its place. "Claud! Look!" Perrie exclaims as she bursts into laughter.

"What are you doing? Stop it," Claud says as he joins her laugh as well. He brings his hand to his hair, in order to remove the straw, but Perrie stops him from doing so by grabbing his hand and putting it back down.

"No, don't touch it!" She tells him in a childish tone before they both stop to finish their current glasses of wine. Then, Perrie picks up more straws and sticks them in Claud's hair, fascinated by the result. When there are no more straws left, Perrie wants to tease Claud again, but it is impossible, as he leaves the table for the purpose of ordering a decent bottle of wine. That is when she remembers just how much she would like to have Jade by her side right now, how badly she truly misses her. Perrie tries finding Jade in the crowd of people dancing, and is pleasantly surprised when she sees Jade looking for her too.

"What happened? Where's Jed?" Perrie asks as soon as she can see Jade's expression, while they to back to the table. Jade looks sad, and is terrible at hiding it; in front of Perrie, at least.

"He ran into a friend," Jade replies and looks down whilst speaking. Jade seems much clumsier than she usually is, and Perrie understands that Jade is probably just as drunk as her. Without any warning, Jade lies her head on Perrie's shoulder, and Perrie knows how bad it is that this simple gesture makes her heart race, but it does, and there is not anything she would like to do in order to fight it. She misses the feeling she used to get when she was around Jade, before everything went mad. She felt secure, just like she does right now.

Just as quick as Jade had initiated the contact, she brings it to a halt. Perrie turns her head so that she could look at her, and silently ask her to rest her head back in the spot that feels the most natural in the whole world. Then, Jade quickly looks around. It is the point of the night where most people are so wasted they do not care much about anything at all, and it is perfect for Jade. She kisses Perrie, because she cannot hold herself back from doing so anymore. The kiss is fun, and a little sloppy, but Jade could not care less. It ends quickly, when they remember how exposed they are at the moment. They both smile as they gaze into each other's eyes, and it hits Perrie that she will always have something special with Jade. Reality chose Jed for Jade, but her heart still belongs to Perrie.

"Jade?" Jed's voice sounds, and Jade turns around to see him standing next to Claud, who is holding a bottle of wine, a few feet away from the table where Perrie and her are sitting. The lights are dimmed, and Jade cannot read Jed's expression clearly, but she imagines that it must be bad. She asks herself how much he had seen, but by the way he stopped dead at his tracks, she realizes he must have witnessed everything.

If this exact same scene would have occurred in a different scenario, Jade would have freaked out by now. She would have had tears in her eyes, and she would probably stumble on her words and only pronounce half ones. But right now, she is too drunk to care. On top of that, she does not regret kissing Perrie at all.

"We're called 'Jerrie'," Jade attempts to joke as she points her index finger back and forth between Perrie and her. Jade is a little nervous after all, and is relieved when Jed laughs lightly. That is a good outcome, him to taking it as a joke, just like everyone else.

"It's for the fans. They like seeing them together," Claud tells Jed, only loud enough for him to hear over the music. Claud does not feel comfortable with lying, but he is not about to make anything harder for Jade than it already is. Jed chuckles, then smiles uncomfortably and steps towards the table, where Jade and Perrie are still sitting next to each other, although there is a distance separating them now. Claud tries, and succeeds, to direct the conversation somewhere else, towards a more neutral subject. It feels as though things have calmed down a bit, like everyone had managed to forget what just happened, or at least deny it, for a little while.

Jade excuses herself to the bathroom, where she makes sure that none of Perrie's bold lipstick was left on her lips as a result of the quick kiss they shared. When she is confident that she looks fine, she walks back to the table while avoiding Perrie's gaze. Jade sits down next to Jed, far from her original spot next to Perrie. She feels as though now, more than ever, she has to prove that she only likes her boyfriend, and has no real interest in her bandmate.

×××

The next day, Jade wakes up with a terrible headache. She slowly opens her eyes, and notices that the space next to her is unoccupied. The sound of water running in the bathroom confirms that Jed is currently taking a shower, although Jade does not understand how is he capable of doing that right now; he must have drank just as much as she did last night. Jade sits up, and just as her headache worsens, she notices a glass of water is placed on her nightstand. Since she is sure she went straight to bed after getting to Jed's flat last night, Jade assumes that Jed had left it there for her. She takes a few slow sips before placing the glass back down.