I was sitting on the sofa, the laptop was playing Lord of the Rings: The two towers extended. Then he comes in with the dinner and dessert for later. He kisses my forehead, sits down next to me, and then looks at me. "You know you'll never be enough right? I'm only staying with you because there's no one else, you're so easily replaceable ". With a visible grin on his face, he starts laughing maniacally. I looked at him in disbelief and I noticed that I couldn't breathe. Until everything turns black. I can't see a thing, I was scared but I could feel that someone or something was behind me so I started running, but I couldn't move. I kept trying and trying until I feel them behind me."You'll never escape us " they whisper in my ear.

✦✧✦✧ ✦✧✦✧ ✦✧✦✧ ✦✧✦✧ ✦✧✦✧ ✦✧✦✧ ✦✧✦✧ ✦✧✦✧ ✦✧✦✧ ✦✧✦✧ ✦✧✦✧ 

And after that I woke up panting, trying to catch my breath. That's how it always happened, for the last 3 years. The nightmares were always different but ended up in the same way.

They would start with memories I loved and they would always have a dark turn. And it ended up with me trying to escape them but being unable to.

As soon as I was able to calm myself down I checked the time. 3 am.

Wow, I managed to sleep 4 hours tonight, that's something.

Because of the nightmares, I haven't had a good night's sleep in ages, I always managed to get 2 to 3 hours of sleep each night. I was used to it by now but that didn't make it any less annoying.

I got to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.

A girl with severe bedhead and tired panda eyes on pale skin looked back.

You look like shit.

After I had enough of looking at my exhausted face in the mirror I proceeded to take my antidepressants and my contraceptives. I didn't have any sexual relationships but they were really helping with my periods.

I've been on antidepressants for about 2 and a half years now, but I have told no one but my best friend Steph, they would all look at me differently, especially my mum. She didn't really understand mental health.

I go to the kitchen and see if there is anything to eat, but of course, the fridge is empty.

You idiot, you should have gone shopping. I think to myself, but then I remember that I saw a 24-hour store not far from here.

So I put on my hoodie, jeans, and Dr. Martens and headed out.

Fortunately, it was not that cold so I decided to take my time walking there and enjoy the landscape, examining everything that I could photograph in the morning.

Short alleyways filled with all the kind of flowers you could dream.

As I was walking through them I noticed a pattern.

One alley was filled with just white flowers, the other with red, orange, blue. They would look amazing during sunset and when they're filled with people.

Small coffee shops and antique stores all over.

I got to the store and buy all the necessary things like milk, flour, eggs, fruits, and vegetables. That should do for a week.

I paid and headed back to the studio. I had also bought some fruit bars, I ate one on my way back, I didn't really eat much, the antidepressants made me lose appetite, which I was happy for because in the last 2 years I had lost over 15 kgs.

I got back and saw that the time was 5:30, so I decided to sit on my laptop for a while processing all the orders I had and shipping them.

At around 6:30 I did my usual workout and went to take a shower after.

I dried my hair and picked my most comfortable jeans and my favorite iron maiden shirt, grabbed my gear, and headed to the inside studio. I must admit the gear weighed a ton but is developed some muscle over the years.

It was 7:30 at the time so that gave me enough time to prepare everything.

As soon as I finished I cracked my knuckles and back in satisfaction.

"Oh my god, are you okay? Are you 60 or something ?" Someone says laughing behind me.

I turn around and see a young man, he looked no older than 25, but I could be wrong because I was always bad with guessing someone's age, he had black hair and a cheeky smile.

I smile back "yes actually, I'm just trapped in a 23-year-old's body" I couldn't help but laugh at his remark.

I must admit he seemed rather friendly.

He laughs back and offers his hand on a handshake "I'm Joey, and you must be Mia, our photographer " he now has his attention at my gear.

I shake his hand in return and nod "yup that's me " a smile forming on my face.

"You're one of the actors right ?" I raise my brows in confusion as I didn't remember meeting him yesterday.

"That's right, I'll be playing Jaskier, have you met anyone else yet ?" He asked.

"No, you're the first " I shook my head in disagreement.

"Oh no, you should meet them all, come with me " he slung an arm around my shoulder, leaving me no time to object.

I followed him and he met me to as many people as he could find, I met the two main protagonists of the show Anya and Freya. They were so friendly and they both hugged me saying it was nice to meet me, man, what's up with everyone here and they're so touchy?

I tried to shake off the uncomfortable feeling and hugged them back trying to not be rude.

I look at Joey who was huffing in displeasure.

"What's up ?" I ask confused

"Can't find Henry, you need to meet the witcher " he was looking around trying to find him.

I chuckle giving him a reassuring smile "don't worry, I'll meet him sooner or later. But now I need to get back to my stuff cause we start soon" I was checking the time on my phone.

Joey nods in agreement and hugs me goodbye "see you later kiddo" and with that, we wave goodbye.

I get back to my stuff and I try to hold as much as I didn't know yet which lenses and rest of the gear I would need.

Something which obviously was a bad idea.

Everything started falling and I exclaimed in displeasure.

You nob

I say to myself but apparently it was loud enough for someone to hear.

"I hope that wasn't meant for me " I hear someone chuckling behind me.