We get to school and I feel a set of eyes on me. Probably Damien and Cody. Possibly even Kelsey. Damien and Cody are the school douche bags in my eyes. They beat me shitless everyday and I don't really care about the pain. I care about somebody finding out. It sends shame through my body knowing that I can't even defend myself. Kelsey is Cody's

girlfriend and is a narcissistic colossal bitch.

On my first day of school here, she sprayed perfume in my eyes. And now, every single day at lunch, she poor's a slushie on me. Again, she's waiting money! Imagine how much money that wasts. I REALLY like money, but I'm not stingy, or greedy or anything like that.

I was right.

"Hey, fag! Want to get beat up now or after school?" Cody shouts.

I look around for Jinxx or Toby but both of them are already gone.

Kelsey and Damien walk over to me. Cody is already here. I turn all the way around to face them.

"N-n-not n-n-n-now, p-p-please..."

Damien gives me a -sympathetic? Look. Sympathy? What? Didn't think he was capable of showing sympathy.

"I wanna talk to you." Damien says. Oh shit.

He grabs my arm and pulls me into the girls bathroom.

"F-f-first o-of a-all, y-you c-c-c-can't b-be in h-here. S-second, i-i r-really c-can't deal with y-your b-bullshit r-right n-now. P-p-please c-can y-you d-do th-this after sc-school? P-p-please?" I choke out.

"First of all, I'm in here all the time. Second, you were all over the news. I'm so sorry."

"W-what?" Sorry? What the fuck?

"I-i heard about what happened to your dad, Ash. I also heard that you tried to kill yourself. I'm so sorry for everything that we- and i- did to you. We both know if I were to try to stand up to Cody I'd get beat shitless but I'll try to find a way to get him to stop. I'm going to stop harassing you, though. I never really thought you would do that, and I'm so so so so so sorry. I know that sorry can't fix this but I'm gonna find a way to make it up to you. I want to help you. I want to be your friend -" Friend?! What. The. Fucking. Hell?!

"Friend? You want to be my friend?! Listen fuck face. You can't bully me for 3 years and just expect me to forgive you as if it can be erased! You and your insane possy almost put me in a hospital multiple times and the only reason I didn't do anything is because I though you would kill me! LiteralLY!" I surprise both of us not by only screaming, but by not stuttering. Wow. I didn't know I had that in me.

"I know. I will find a way to make it up to you. You don't have to forgive me, but after I help you, it would mean a lot."

"H-help me? H-h-how?"

"I don't know yet." With that he walks out. Leaving me starstruck.

I look around making sure nobody heard my little outburst. I look in the mirror and notice that my eyes are puffy from crying. Didn't know I was crying. Wow. So much drama and I haven't even gone to first period yet.

I get my makeup put of my purse and touch it up. I don't have my foundation or concealor with me so you can still tell I've been crying. The Bell rings informing me to hurry my fat ass up.

I practically sprint to my locker, gather my stuff and jog to class. The teacher isn't in the room yet.

I sit in the corner back seat to the right, the seat I always sit in. Toby sees me and gathers his stuff to come sit by me.

"Psst."

"H-h-hey." I hide my face with my hair.

"What's wrong? Where you crying? Are you ok?"

No I'm not ok I want to kill myself. I feel like I'm about to have an anxiety attack.

"I'm fine."

"We both know what that means."

Then the teacher walk in and stares daggers into my soul. I refuse to look at him. He looks at Toby.

"Boy, do not talk to the gothic faggot please. Sit somewhere else." Mr. Smizlèch says to Toby. Mr. Smizbitch is against being emo, or gothic or scene.

"I'm sorry sir, I could get you fired for saying that. And I'm staying here." Toby smirks at the teacher.

"Ash move seats. Now." Mr. Douchelèch yells at me.

I scurry up and go to an empty seat in the back row where nobody else is.

"Ash, if you wouldn't mind, actually I don't give a shit if you mind or not, read pages 672 and 673 in the textbook." That bastard.

"I-i-i c-can't. I-i-i'm s-sorry."

"Yes you can, idiot." He should get fired for this.

I hear peoples whispers, 'I bet she can't read', 'why is Toby defending her? She's retarted' or 'she should just kill herself already'.

I get up and sprint out of the room. I feel the anxiety attack coming on and the tears streaming down my face. I run out the doors and start to run to the cemetery. I start to slow down to a walk. Hopefully Toby doesn't start looking for me. I need alone time.

It's been a while.

The voice. Damn I hate this stupid voice in my head.

Well hello to you too, Ashton.

Fuck off Henry. I call it Henry because it sounds like a Henry to me. I don't know.

Not quite yet. You heard those kids. They're right. Your a dumb retard and you should just kill yourself now.

Ok.

Wow. Giving up that easily? You are weak. Weaker than I thought.

Shut up. I'm giving you what you want, now fuck off.

I'm afraid it's not that easy. So, are you gonna jump in front of a car, do a backflip off a bridge, swallow some pills, pull the trigger or cut a vein?

Well, there's always a train at 12:30. So if I sit on the tracks I only have to wait about 20 minutes for the train to come by. Perfect!

That's my girl. I'll talk to you later if you fail. Like you do everything.

Thanks for the help.

That's when Toby calls me. Dammit.

I pick up the phone.

"H-hello?"

"Ash, were are you?!"

"Not in school." I sniffle and start sobbing.

"Ash were are you?" He asks, now his voice more stern.

"At the graveyard by the train tracks. But I won't be for long. Don't come here, please. Just continue your school day. I'm fine."

He hangs up.

You ruin everything.

I know. I'm sorry.

I check the time. 15 minutes.

I go over and lay down on the train tracks. Time is going by really fast, surprisingly.

5 more minutes.

That's when I hear running footsteps.

Ignore them. Probably just some random person flippin out.

"Ash are you ok?" Jinxx and Toby say in unison. They sound worried.

I start sobbing and sit up. I pull my knees to my chest. I can't breathe. Of course, I can't go a day without an anxiety attack.

Toby pulls me into a hug and rubs small circles into my back.

"It's going to be o-"

"No its not!" I yell between sobs. I hear the train coming.

I push the boys about a foot away so they don't try to stop me.

The train is right about to hit me.

3...Toby screaming.2....Jinxx crying.1...

A\N

Sorry for any bad grammar \spelling. This chapter is shitty, I'm sorry.