the next day at school, the boys all stood around their lockers before their first class of the day. there was this eerie aura surrounding them.

they all felt like something was off, but no one knew exactly what.

"is felix sick or something?" jisung asked the group.

"hm... i don't know. he never answered any of us after his text last night." jeongin shrugged as he scrolled back through the conversation.

love you guys, thank you for everything

LOVE YOU ALMOST BIRTHDAY TWIN

love you lixie, hope you're doing ok

love you lix, missed you in school today:(

we all love you too felix.

love you felix, you never have to thank us

love you felix

i may even let you hug me tomorrow ;)

"you're right... he didn't." seungmin added, he was now looking through them as well.

there conversation went onto other topics after they responded to felix's message, but felix didn't participate in those convos.

changbin noticed the only one who didn't respond to felixs messages was chan...

changbin felt this overwhelming anxiety spread throughout his body. he knew something was wrong.

"chan, what happened when you went to see him yesterday?" changbin questioned, seething as he stood there.

"nothing happened, we talked. that's it." chan shrugged.

"yeah, felix even thanked us all. it must've gone well, right?" jisung said innocently.

"chan," changbin growled as he grabbed onto chan's collar and shoved him against the lockers, "what the fuck happened yesterday?"

"changbin, stop it! he went to help felix!" hyunjin grabbed changbin, attempting to pry him off of chan.

"help him? help him? bullshit. he didn't help him. look at his face." changbin stated angrily as he shook hyunjin off of him.

"chan," minho spoke up, "did something bad happen between you and felix yesterday?"

chan just stood there silent, unsure of how to answer his friends. the only thought running through his mind was, where is felix?

"chan, what happened yesterday?" jeongin asked worriedly.

"f-felix... i-i," chan stumbled over his words, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"what the hell did you say to him?" changbin shouted, shoving chan against the lockers once more.

"changbin, stop it! you're going to get in trouble." hyunjin scolded the boy.

"i don't care, he hurt felix!" changbin cried out.

"i didn't!" chan yelled back.

"then where the fuck is he!?" changbin asked, "WHAT DID YOU FUCKING SAY TO HIM?"

"i'm sorry..." was all chan managed to get out.

"you're sorry? JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!" changbin got in chan's face, waiting for an answer.

"i told him he lost us all... i'm sorry, i was angry... i didn't mean it." chan's cheeks burned as the tears streamed down them.

"i'm so sorry," chan cried out again.

changbin didn't dwell on the matter any longer. he just ran out of school and hopped in his car to race towards felix's house.

he had to save him, even if hours had already passed. changbin couldn't lose hope.

hyunjin quickly followed after changbin, worried of what the latter might do when in the current headspace that he was.

changbin arrived at felix's house and began pounding on the door, pleading for anyone to open it.

"he's not home changbin," hyunjin stated as he placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, "maybe he had something to do with his grandmother."

"then why didn't he tell any of us? why did he send that message and then not respond?" changbin questioned.

"let's just try calling him, okay?" hyunjin suggested as he began dialing the boys number.

"i'm sorry, but the number you have tried to reach is unavailable. please leave your message after the tone-" was all hyunjin heard.

"his phone must be off... it went straight to voicemail." hyunjin said, the worry beginning to sink over him too.

"that's it," changbin huffed, "i'm getting into his house."

"that's illegal changbin." hyunjin remarked.

"not if i have a key," changbin smiled as he held up the spare key that felix kept hidden under the welcome mat.

changbin put the key in the door and bursted through it, storming up to felixs room as quickly as possible.

upon opening the door he saw a sight that destroyed him in seconds.

he saw the means by which felix harmed himself. he saw the sheets all tied up, now lying on the ground beside the chair that was beneath the ceiling fan.

"changbin," hyunjin said, snapping the boy out of his thoughts, "it's felixs phone." he pointed to where the phone was laying on felixs bed.

changbin felt the air beginning to thin as his chest tightened. he needed to get out of there.

he ran, without stopping until he got into his car and could place his foot heavily onto the gas pedal.

he didn't stop.

not for stop signs.

not for red lights.

he couldn't stop.

he raced to his own home, destroying everything in sight as he felt the madness taking over.

he lost felix.

the one person he loved more than anyone in the world. he lost him.

he couldn't stand the thought of living a life without felix when he had every opportunity to be with him.

changbin blamed himself for all of it. maybe if he hadn't shut felix out, they wouldn't be in this position.

after tearing his room apart, changbin had one final thought.

he lifted up his mattress, revealing his box spring which he had a cut a whole into the fabric of.

inside of the box spring contained a small pill container, filled with all the anti-depressants he was meant to be taking on a daily basis.

changbin used to take them regularly, but one day he realized he didn't deserve to be happy, so he stopped.

he hid the pills he didn't take and saved them for a moment like this.

he began opening the pill bottle and stared inside of it wondering if this meant he and felix could finally be at peace.... together.

"changbin," a voice called out, startling him and making him drop the pills.

"hyunjin? what are you doing here?" changbin asked with a shaky voice as he tried to collect his pills.

"i know you bin, i knew what you would do." hyunjin stated, grabbing changbin's wrists to stop him from picking up the pills.

"felix wouldn't want this," hyunjin told him, "he wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

"i just want to be with him." his bottom lip quivered as he spoke.

"you can't do that if you're dead and he's alive." hyunjin stated.

"a-alive?"

"yeah, i spoke to jeongin. felix is at the hospital right now."

"we're going." changbin stood up, forgetting about what he was previously going to do and began walking out of his room.

"changbin wait-" hyunjin called out, trying to explain to him felixs full situation.

"I SAID WERE GOING!" changbin shouted. not stopping his feet to wait for hyunjin, not caring to hear another word the boy had to say.

a.n.

thank you guys for 32k reads wtfff

i'm sorry i keep forgetting to thank y'all at the milestones, i really do appreciate you all reading, commenting, and voting on this story! it means so much to me