felix and changbin laid in silence in the dark room. the two boys only a slight shine striking through from the glow of the moon to make it so they could at least identify a silhouette.

"goodnight," felix finally said after some awkward silence.

changbin didn't respond although mentally he intended to. he just laid there on the floor wrapped in blankets and resting his head on one of felix's pillows.

changbin looked up at the ceiling wondering what he could say to keep the two of them awake. he didn't want the day to end, especially with so many things left unanswered.

after changbin had confessed to felix the lyrics he had written were directly about the boy, felix choked up and became quite awkward with changbin. if not for felix's grandmother offering them desserts, changbin would not have known how to escape that tension.

"hey bokkie," changbin spat out before thinking of anything else to say.

"yes binnie?" felix responded. his eyes had just shut, but he wasn't tired, he was just trying to avoid speaking about the days earlier events.

"are you tired?" changbin asked, feeling like an idiot for not thinking of anything better to say.

"uh... well... yeah, i am." felix lied through his teeth, he was not even slightly sleepy.

felix was a night owl at his core, not that this was really on purpose though. felix often did not sleep because of his anxiety and intrusive thoughts that attacked his mind.

it was only around ten at night, so for felix to be tired would be quite bizzare. felix just hoped changbin didn't realize that.

"well i guess you must be since you turned out the lights so early... not that i imagine you'd be getting the best nights sleep at a hospital... so i guess that explains everything." changbin rambled a bit, but felix understood what he meant.

"are you tired?" felix questioned instead of responding directly to what changbin had said.

"not really, but i guess i could be." changbin shrugged.

felix sat up in his bed, wanting to see changbin instead of just listening to his voice echo through the room.

"what do you mean?" felix asked as he rested his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

"lay back down bokkie, it's bedtime." changbin instructed, but felix shook his head.

"what did you mean?" felix asked once again.

"i meant i could be tired if you are, that's all." changbin laughed it off innocently.

"why do you always put me before yourself?" felix questioned with furrowed eyebrows.

changbin sat there silent, thinking about all the times he had hurt felix. he hardly considered that putting felix before himself.

"i don't." changbin shook his head.

"i feel like you do," felix responded, "you broke up with me to spare me from more pain. you thought you weren't good enough and you thought chan made me happier... so that also lead to you breaking up with me.

you pushed me away because you thought you were hurting me. you stayed with me at the hospital and even missed school to see me... do i need to continue?"

"felix..." changbin sighed, "dont paint me to be some perfect guy when i'm not."

"i never said you were perfect, but you're good changbin... way better than you think you are." felix said softly as he looked over at changbin who was rolled over on his side staring back at felix.

changbin didn't respond, but he didn't have to. felix could tell just by the look on his face how appreciative changbin was.

"you really wrote the song about me?" felix asked with innocent doe eyes that made changbin's heart flutter. even in the pale moonlight, changbin could envision felixs chocolate brown eyes that had honey laced in them.

"i did," changbin nodded, "i like you felix. havent i made that obvious?"

"i don't know... i guess i just didn't want to assume anything." felix shrugged, not even realizing the confession changbin had just made.

changbin could tell felix didn't properly process his words yet, so he stayed silent for a moment and enjoyed listening to the slightly audible gasp that escape felix once it dawned on him what changbin truly meant.

"oh... oh my god..." felix mumbled to himself, "wait... you mean..."

"yes felix, i still like you. i never stopped liking you." changbin laughed as he stood up and slowly walked over to felixs bed.

"like me? you used to love me..." felix said softly, avoiding making eye contact with changbin.

"fine felix," changbin shook his head as he let out a chuckle. he placed his hands down on either side of felix against the cotton sheets and stared into the boys eyes, "i love you."

felix was looking down, still avoiding meeting changbins gaze, but part of him wanted to give in. there was this aching feeling inside of felix that needed to just let himself love and be loved the way he always desired.

"i love you, lee felix." changbin said as he brought up one of his hands to cup the boys cheek.

"stop saying it..." tears started to well in felix's eyes for a reason that was unknown to changbin.

"bokkie... why are you crying?" changbin sat down beside felix on the bed and wrapped his arms over the boys shoulders.

felix rested his head against changbin and sniffled as the tears slowly began to fall from his glassy eyes.

"are you sure you still love me?" felix asked, his voice a bit shaky.

"i am positive. you don't even have to say it back right now, i just wanted you to know how i feel." changbin explained to the latter.

felix just nodded and nuzzled in as close as humanly possible to changbins side. changbin ran his fingers through felixs hair and lulled the boy the best he could.

it wasn't long before felix picked his head up and let out a small yawn. he finally looked changbin in the eyes and smiled softly.

"if you love me... will you sleep beside me tonight?" felixs eyes were innocent and sweet, this look was impossible to say no to.

"lay down," changbin rolled his eyes jokingly as he wrapped felix up in his arms.

"thank you binnie... for everything." felix said as his eyes began to flutter shut and the exhaustion finally took over.

changbin waited for felixs breaths to even out and hardly audible snores to escape the boy before he responded. he was far too afraid to say his words to felix while he was conscious.

"thank you for allowing me to love you. i hope you can love me back again soon." changbin kissed the top of felixs head before he too shut his eyes and attempted to get some rest.

a.n.

I ACTUALLY WROTE SOMETHING???

is it trash?? possibly.

i owe this all to the love of my life bboiiiiiiii

she always inspires me when we facetime