as the two boys were cuddled up underneath their cozy blankets, the sea of stars above them shined into infinity, while the moon was pale and glowing in full size with a milky hue.

it was the perfect night if you looked at the sky. clear and peaceful. no cars went speeding past to feed into noise pollution and there were no dark clouds to cover the moonshine.

except it wasn't the perfect night when you looked through the lens of a boy who was having a nightmare.

felix tossed and turned beside changbin, causing the boy to stir from the sudden movement.

changbin rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and stared down at the figure below him, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.

he could see felix was struggle with demons in his mind. they were attacking the place felix should feel the most peaceful... his dreams.

changbin wanted to shake the boy awake, but he had heard horror stories of disrupting nightmares. he could hear slightly audible noises escaping felix, slowly getting louder and louder.

"NOOO!" felix screeched, the noise of terror that escaped felixs cry broke changbin's heart and sent an eerie chill throughout his body.

changbin was getting ready to take the risk and wake felix, but before he could, the boy jolted up with a loud gasp, immediately followed by heavy sobs.

"bokkie, are you alright?" changbin asked as he gently placed his hand on the latters back.

the blonde haired boy snapped his head around to face changbin, and immediately collapsed in his arms.

changbin didn't bother questioning further, he knew felix would speak up when he was ready. the dark haired boy just rubbed felixs back gently and let out small hushes to ease the boys loud sobs.

"im so s-sorry." felixs bottom lip quievered as he spoke, his voice muffled by changbins broad chest.

"what are you sorry for, love?" changbin asked, not understanding how felix could have done any harm in the short time they actually were asleep.

"i didn't mean to... well i did... but i'm sorry... i won't do it again." felix apologized profusely, not giving changbin even a second to chime in and stop him.

"mean to do what felix?" changbin finally cut in.

felix pulled away from the hug and looked into changbins dark brown eyes that had shadows casted over them from the moon that provided minimal light to shine in through the windows.

"hurt myself..." felix mumbled, watching changbins expression carefully to pick up on his reaction.

"felix, why are you bringing that up now? you're home now, that's in the past. it's not like i blame you anyways." changbin shrugged as he cupped felixs face gently and held it in his hands.

"but," felix muttered with squished cheeks that made changbin smile at the cuteness of it, "but i almost left you."

"i left you first. i would only have myself to blame for that, bokkie." changbin said before kissing felixs forehead.

changbin felt the sweat beats against felixs skin and took his sleeve to wipe them away. he caressed felixs face gently, and waited for the boy to utter another word. he could tell felix was searching his mind for the perfect way to explain himself.

"i-" felix spoke softly, letting out a heavy breath before continuing, "i dreamt of my father."

"your father?" changbin questioned.

"i dreamt about the day i found him... he was so... lifeless. it seemed like he had been dead for centuries when really he was still hanging on by a thread. still though... i should've known he was already gone." felix was now crying again, and hearing the true trauma that fed the monsters inside felixs mind, changbin was unsure of how to react.

"felix-"

"why did he do it changbin? was it me? was i a bad son?" felix asked, on the verge of completing breaking down... possibly beyond repair.

changbin noticed that felix was slipping through the cracks. he was desperately trying to save the boy before it was too late, but it seemed he was getting further and further away, no matter how close changbin thought they were getting.

"no felix, it could never be you." changbin held the boy tightly in his arms as he felt the tears from felixs eyes absorb into his shirt. he didn't mind the damp feeling if it meant he was comforting felix.

"it feels like it was me though..." felix sighed, "my own mother can't even look at me."

"that's not true lix." changbin said, feeling slight anger bubble within him.

the anger was not towards felix, nor was it towards anyone else directly. this anger was more so fueled by the world that was so cruel to the boy changbin felt deserves the most out of life.

"changbin-"

"no felix, im serious. quit blaming yourself for everything when it was never your fault.

listen, i know i have hurt you in the past... i've given you no reason to love yourself or to even love me at this point... but i'm here now to change that.

i'm sorry for everything that's ever happened in your life to make you feel like you're not enough, like you're some bad person... i wish i could change that...

but your fathers death was not your fault and i can prove it."

"how?" felix asked through small sniffles as he tried to choke back his tears.

"would you say your suicide attempt was chans fault?" changbin asked bluntly.

"no of course not!" felix spoke defensively, and changbin smirked like he had won the lottery.

"i know." changbin nodded as he let out a soft chuckle to hide his frustrations, "that's exactly why it isn't your fathers death is not your fault. it is no ones fault when someone is struggling with depression or any other mental illness for that matter.

i'm sure you saw the signs that were there and you did everything you could to make your father happy. that's just how you are felix, you don't let people suffer, instead, you let yourself suffer in order to help others."

felix stared at changbin as tears filled his eyes. the boy with freckles decorating his cheeks and swollen eyes that were burning from the pain was finally feeling comfort for the first time in a long time.

he was speechless.

"did i say the wrong thing?" changbin asked worriedly, afraid he had overstepped completely.

"no, no," felix shook his head as he wiped away the stray tears that were rolling down his soft cheeks, "you said all the right things."

felix dove into changbins arms as he felt the warmth radiate off of the shorter boys body. it was driving felix insane that someone could provide him so much comfort so easily, he was becoming so afraid of losing changbin all over again.

"you better not leave me this time." felix warned.

"i won't felix, i promise." changbin assured felix with confidence, "i love you, i mean it."

felix stayed silent, his mouth slightly agape as if he wanted to speak but his voice box had been stolen.

"it's okay lix, you don't have to say it back. let's just get some rest, okay?" changbin said as he brushed his thumb softly against felixs cheek.

felix nodded simply and cuddled into changbins arms as he tried to rid his mind of the horrific images his nightmare had displayed to him. felix focused on the dark haired boy beside him and ignored everything else.

even if changbin does end up leaving him in the end, at least he has him for now.

a.n.

i always wanna start new stories but maybe i should at leasttttt finish this one first