after the movie was finished, changbin gathered some blankets and pillows for the boys to make themselves comfortable around his home. they decided to just move some furniture in his living room, and make as much room as possible on the floor for all of them.

"i don't care what you guys say, i'm sleeping on the couch." minho said as he plopped himself down on the comfortable sofa.

"get off of there," jisung tugged at his arm, pulling him down to the ground, "you are cuddling me tonight."

"i can hold your hand from up on the couch, you can sleep right below me." minho suggested.

"no, sleep beside me!" jisung demanded, making minho eventually give in.

"is your lovers quarrel over?" changbin asked as he went to hand them a blanket and some pillows.

"it wasn't a lovers quarrel!" jisung shouted at changbin, who just decided to throw the pillows at the latter.

"whatever you say jisung," changbin then walked over to hyunjin and jeongin and handed them some pillows and blankets, and lastly went over to chan and seungmin, "you two okay with sharing or do you want separate blankets?"

"we can share, right seungmin?" chan asked with a smile on his face.

"uhm... yeah, of course." seungmin nodded, gulping hard from his nerves.

"great, here you go." changbin said as he handed the boys their own pillows and one blanket to share.

felix then walked over to changbin who was setting up a spot for the two of them to sleep. felix wrapped his arms around changbin's torso, restricting him from moving.

"bokkie, i have to set up our blankets." changbin laughed a bit as he felt felix's warmth radiate onto him.

"hugs first." felix stated, wanting to get impossibly close to the raven haired boy.

"come here," changbin encouraged as he spun around and engulfed felix into his arms.

felix sunk into changbin, allowing himself to melt into the latter's touch. if there was one place felix loved being more than anywhere else in the world, it was within changbin's arms, and he did not care how cliché that was.

"okay, more hugs will come later." changbin kissed the top of felix's head before he returned to setting up their sleep area.

before long, everyone was laying in their respective spots with their partners, and each of them were slowly starting to doze off.

"i'm going to shut the lights now." changbin stated, not earning a single protest from the other members of the group.

while everyone else shut their eyes and got ready to fall asleep, felix laid there awake, his eyes wide, but slowly welling with tears.

"hey prince, you okay?" changbin whispered as he came over to lay beside the blonde.

"mhmm..." felix hummed, but he was far from okay.

felix's mind was flashing with images of his grandmother. the final words she said to him, the last time he saw her alive... all of those times with her that he never realized were his last.

"felix, please don't go through this alone." changbin pleaded.

"i'm just not tired, that's all." felix shrugged.

"okay, let's go then," changbin stood up and put his hand out for felix to grab onto.

"where are we going?" felix asked.

"shhh... you'll wake the others," changbin hushed the latter, "it's a surprise, bokkie."

felix rolled his glossy eyes playfully and allowed changbin to lead him up his stairs and towards his bedroom. from there, changbin led them to the window where he slowly crawled out and ushered for felix to follow him.

changbin sat down on the roof, staring out at the luminescent moon that hung high up in the sky, surrounded by a sea of stars in the dark of the night.

"it's so pretty out here," felix smiled as he looked out at the endless sky above them.

"yeah, i like coming out here sometimes when i just need to get away from everything." changbin explained to the boy beside him.

"so what are we doing out here?" felix asked curiously.

"i just wanted to get you away from everyone. you need to let out your feelings felix, i know you say you want to ignore them, but that never works." changbin expressed to the latter.

"i just don't even know where to start, it still doesn't feel real." felix expressed as he let out a heavy sigh.

"start with an 'i miss you' statement. that's what i did when my sister died." changbin said with a disheartened expression.

"can you start for me so i can see how it's done?" felix questioned innocently.

"sure love," changbin reached over to entangle his fingers with felix's before speaking, "i miss you, ryujin. i miss the way you would inspire me to make music. i miss how you were so optimistic. i miss you being beside me whenever i needed you the most."

"i'm sorry, binnie..." felix said as the tears pricked at his eyes, daring to fall at any given moment.

"don't be sorry, felix, you're safe with me." changbin encouraged the boy.

felix took a deep breath and stared out at the moon, letting the light from it glow in a milky white tint against his skin.

"i miss you, mimi. i miss the breakfast you would make for me even though i would hardly eat any of it. i miss your over protectiveness when it comes to my love life. i miss your soft and sweet voice. i miss everything about you and it hasn't even fully sunken in that you're gone... i miss you." felix bellowed as the tears poured from his eyes.

changbin grabbed a hold of felix before the boy could collapse onto the cold, hard roof. felix grabbed a hold of changbin's t-shirt, tightening his hands into fists.

the tears soaked through changbin's shirt, forming tiny puddles of felix's pain. changbin knew there was nothing he could do to stop felix's pain, all he could do was allow him to feel it entirely.

this was something changbin wished someone would have done for him when ryujin passed, but instead, he suffered in silence and had to learn how to heal all by himself.

a.n.

nothing ever turns out the way i envision it when i write it!!!!

** sorry if there are typos i did not check over my work as it is 1am... **