"breakfast time," jisung sang after felix managed to save him from the demons, minho and hyunjin.

"of course you want food now." minho rolled his eyes.

"you just made me face the brink of death, i think i deserve lots and lots of food cooked by you." jisung nuzzled up cutely into minho's side as he spoke.

"fine, only because you're you." minho shrugged as he made his way to the kitchen, all the boys following readily behind.

"what are we having?" jeongin asked as he caught up to minho and jisung.

"just some leftovers," minho shrugged as he began pulling plates of food out of his refrigerator.

"but you said you'd cook for me!" jisung protested by stomping his foot like a child.

"yes princess, i know, but i can still reheat the food and we can consider that cooking, okay?" minho said as he cupped jisung's face gently.

"o-okay." jisung stuttered out, making minho smirk.

"less flirting, more cooking!" seungmin stepped in.

"fine, fine," minho rolled his eyes as he then suggested, "everyone come grab a plate and some food. we can heat them up individually and then all sit down together."

the boys took their turns grabbing some food into their plates and then minho popped each one of them into the microwave. once everyone's plate was ready, they sat down at his large dining room table.

minho sat at one head of the table and jeongin forced his way onto the other one.

"why does innie get the head of the table?" hyunjin asked with a slight pout on his face.

"because innie on top, that's why." jeongin responded with a smile.

"whatever." hyunjin rolled his eyes as he took a seat beside jeongin, and felix took the seat across from him.

"noooo," jisung whined, "i now have to choose between bestie and boyfriend."

"just sit down next to me." minho interjected as he pulled on the boys arm.

"i already miss you." jisung reached across changbin who was sitting between him and felix as he pretend to wipe away a tear.

"oh stop being so dramatic." minho cut in as the other boys then sat down.

seungmin took the empty seat beside hyunjin and chan sat beside him, making it so he was across from jisung, and as far as he could possibly be from felix.

"so how is everyone's morning going?" hyunjin asked after a few moments of awkward silence.

"good, chan was actually here." seungmin stifled a laugh as he said this.

"what do you mean?" felix suddenly grew curious over what seungmin meant.

"should i tell them or will you?" seungmin turned to the boy whose face was now very red.

"seungmin," chan looked angrily at the boy.

"i knew you wouldn't do it on your own so here is the push you need," seungmin whispered, "you can't just leave without telling everyone."

"fine, you're right." chan sighed as he cleared his throat to prepare to speak, "i have some news actually..."

"good news or bad news because... i don't do well with bad news." jisung cut in anxiously.

"um... well it's good i think." the uncertainty in his voice made everyone at the table, aside from seungmin, a bit concerned.

"well what is it?" hyunjin questioned.

"you know how we all applied to universities and stuff and we're starting to get our acceptance letters?" chan posed the question to the boys and earned nods in response as well as a few murmurs of 'yes.'

"so i applied to a university in australia... and i will be going there for the next four years." as soon as chan said this, everyone stopped eating and just stared at the boy.

"you're not seriously going to leave, are you?" jeongin asked, completely blindsided by what the boy had just admitted.

"i am..."

"no, you can't. why would you do that?" jisung asked, his voice showing his distress.

"i think it'll be good for me to have a fresh start somewhere." chan began to explain, "i've messed up a lot here... i know that, and i'm so so sorry about it, but i cannot change what i have done. i just think i need to leave, you will all be better off that way."

"you really think that's the answer to all of this?" felix asked angrily.

"felix-" changbin tried to cut in, but felix immediately shut him up.

"no. that's not fair. you can't just leave, chan. why would you do that? do you even care to fix your mistakes?" felix saying this made chan feel swarmed with guilt.

chan wasn't leaving to avoid all he has done, but more so to not pain anyone else further.

"no, that's not why i'm leaving!" chan stated, "i'm leaving to stop causing so much pain! i don't want to be the constant reminder to you of what happened that day! i can't live here knowing i have hurt so many of you and i keep hurting you all."

"but leaving? you can't just leave! we can fix it!" felix said with confidence.

"fix it? how? you cursed me out last night and i deserved that. i don't deserve your forgiveness, you know that!" chan responded, and the rest of the boys watched as felix and chan battled it out.

"no, i didn't mean it! i want to hate you, but i can't. i cant hate the boy who my heart is so fond of. you're my best friend, chan.

you saved me from myself all summer long and dragged me out of the house on days when i could have withered away and allowed my pain to drown me.

you made me smile more than cry and you cared about me more than most other people in my life have.

i know why you were so relieved i didn't die that day... at first i was angry with you for feeling that relief, but then i put myself into your shoes...

if i was you, and i told someone horrible things just out of pure hurt and nothing else and then they hurt themselves... killed themselves even... i would feel so much regret. so much remorse! which i know you felt.

i know you're sorry. i know you are happy i am alive, and i get that you were also relieved that i lived.

you were the last person i spoke to and it would have felt like your fault given your word choice. i get that it was a relief to know i am alive and when i die, it won't be by your words or hands or anything to do with you really.

i am alive and that is something to be relieved about... for more reasons than one. it's okay that you felt that way, i really do get it now." felix said being empathetic towards chan and the way he felt.

"but you shouldn't have to get it, i should have never thought or felt that way!" chan retorted, angry with himself for ever having those thoughts.

"but you can't help it, chan. i think i would've felt the same if i was in your position-"

"that's just it felix, you wouldn't have been in my position to begin with. you are so pure, too good to ever harm anyone.... but i hurt you, im not good enough, okay? just please try to understand that." chan showed his frustration this time.

felix was now visibly anxious and underneath the table, he was searching for something to hold onto.

changbin noticed the small movement and immediately grabbed onto felixs hand.

felix began squeezing a simple pattern onto changbin's hand, and he repeated it back to felix.

everyone in the room was silent, just staring and waiting for felix to respond.

"let's just finish up our breakfast and go, okay?" changbin suggested, and no one posed any arguments.

it didnt take long for everyone to finish. the only two who hadn't really eaten much were chan and felix since they were too busy fighting, but felix was immediately repulsed by the food and chan scarfed it down with anger.

all them began to take their leave, one by one exiting minho's house.

"bye minho, thanks for having us." seungmin said and the other boys chimed in with their thank you'd as well.

changbin and felix were at the back of the group, watching as the others ducked into their cars.

seungmin was ahead of everyone, making his way over to chan's car, not caring that he practically had left chan behind in the process.

"seungmin, wait up." chan called out, but seungmin just kept facing forward.

he wasn't angry with the boy, he was just simply teasing him. he just kept his head straight and began to cross the street.

felix gasped as he held onto changbin, freezing in response to the scene he was watching play out.

"SEUNGMIN!" chan shouted as he ran at the boy.

seungmin didnt look both ways before he crossed the street. he was far too focused on teasing chan to really think about it.

chan bolted his way to the boy and pushed harshly on his back with every ounce of strength he could muster up.

chan would rather he take the hit than seungmin. seungmin went tumbling forward, still unaware of what was going on as chan had no time to react for himself.

chan was just happy to get seungmin out of the way of the car that was coming down the road, and heading straight for them.

a.n.

my phones service isn't working so now i have to get it fixed 😤

also this chapter was a last minute change to the story plot😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 whoops