《The Calamity Girls (Book 1)》Welcome to Amphibia
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I woke up wrapped up in vines. I grabbed my golf club out of my bag and cut down the vines, unaware of how high up I was. I screamed at the top of my lungs as I was about to fall to my death, when suddenly, Anne saved me out of nowhere. "Rowena?" Anne asked. "Anne, what happened?" I asked, "The last thing I remember was taking a walk in the park." "I don't know, but lemme help you untangle these vines." Anne untied many of the knots and helped me up. "Thanks, Anne." I said thankfully. "Do you happen to know where we are?" "Not a clue." She replied as she heard a door slam in the distance. "Goodnight you frogs, see you in the morrow." Said a voice in the same direction. "Someone's close by, maybe they could give us directions." Anne suggested. I nodded.
Anne and I followed the voice to the woods, turns out it was a talking frog man. We walked as quietly and quickly as possible through the bushes to the frog. "Hello?" He asked, frightened. We got out of the bushes and startled him with our footsteps. "What's that?" Asked the frog. Anne and I popped out from the bushes and tried to ask for help, but he screamed in horror and ran away farther into the woods before we could ask for directions.
The next morning in a town called Wartwood, an elderly frog man was driving a cart with his large snail. In the cart for the ride was his two grandchildren. "Alright, kids, imma do a little shopping, you watch the cart." Ordered the grandfather. "You got it, Hop Pop," said the young frog boy. "I'll defend this cart with my life!" "Sprig, I was talking to Polly." Corrected Hop Pop. "What?" Sprig asked. "Polly's a baby." "YOU'RE A BABY!" His sister yells. "Polly's got more responsibility in her little flipper than you have in your entire body." Hop Pop said, defending the young tadpole. "Ridiculous, what makes you think I'm irresponsible?" asked Sprig. "Oh gee, let me think." Hop Pop said, mentioning a lot of Sprig's irresponsible actions. "Okay, so yesterday was a bad day." He said. Hop Pop leaped out of the cart. "Polly, make sure Sprig stays in the cart." Hop Pop ordered his granddaughter. "Wish there was a way to prove I'm such a goof up." Sprig sighed when suddenly, the same frog that me and Anne encountered ran into town screaming. "Monsters, there's two monsters in the woods!" He said, catching his breath. "Now simmer down, Wally, just tell us what you saw." Said the mayor. "Oh, they were horrifying," continued Wally. "They both had a huge head, a weird, stubby bump in the middle of the face, and long legs!" The townsfolk gasped in horror. "We better catch these beasts before they hurt someone because for Mayor Toadstool, your safety comes first." Said the mayor. "That's the responsible thing to do." Wally added. "Polly, I just had a great idea, I'm going to catch those beasts and save the town!" Sprig announced to his sister. "Stop right there!" Polly said, stopping Sprig. "Hop Pop said that you had to stay in the cart, YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T TAKE ME!" Sprig grunted when suddenly, he decided to bribe Polly. "Oh, Polly look, candy." He said dropping the candy in front of his sister. "Bribe accepted." Polly said as she ate the candy. "Let the monster hunt begin." Sprig said as he jumped out of the cart and into the woods. "Don't die!" Polly shouted.
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Sprig was deeper in the woods searching for "the beasts." He pulled out his slingshot just in case one of us came out. He noticed a footprint that belonged to Anne. "Seems like the beasts roam these parts," Sprig said. "Probably a good place for a..." He screamed as his foot was caught in the trap I set earlier. Anne walked near Sprig, holding a big branch. "Caught ya, thought you got the best of old Anne and Rowena, well you didn't." She announced. Sprig gasped. "Giant heads, weird limbs, face bumps, THE BEASTS!" "Stop following us." I snapped. "I have bad news for you, beasts, I taste terrible." Sprig said with confidence. "Ew, I'm not gonna eat you." Anne replied in disgust. "Me either." I added. "You tried to eat Wally!" retorted Sprig. "I tried to ask Wally for help." I said. "He ran off screaming the second he saw us." "That does sound like Wally." Sprig admitted. An angry growl was heard from a distance. "Rowena, it's coming back!" Anne warned as she ran off. "What is?" Sprig asked. "Where you going?" I ran after Anne as Sprig was seconds away from being Mantis chow. "Anne, we need to help him, he's just a kid." I said. Anne grabs her branch and uses it to cut Sprig free from the trap. Anne picked him up and we ran an hid inside a giant log, hidden away from the mantis. We all sighed in relief. "You guys saved me, you aren't beasts at all, you're heroes, very, very ugly heroes." Sprig cheered. "Call me ugly again and maybe I will eat you." Anne joked. "Ha, you're not gonna eat me." Sprig said. "You're right, she's not." I replied to Sprig. "You guys got a name?" He asked. "My name's Anne, Anne Boonchuy." Anne introduced. "And I'm Rowena Warbler." I added. "I'm Sprig Plantar, put her there." He said, holding out his hand. I shook his hand and Anne did the same, however, both of our hands were covered in slime. "So your hand just barfed on my hand." Anne said as both of our stomachs started to growl. "Okay Sprig, you got anything to eat?" I asked. "Sure do." Sprig replied as he broke off a piece of wood, showing a bunch of insects. "Things that aren't bugs?" Anne asked. "No bugs huh?" Sprig asked as he eats one of the bugs. "We'll have to hunt around a bit, c'mon, follow me." "How do I know we can trust you?" I asked. "What, does this look like a face that can deceive you?" Sprig asked looking adorable. Anne chuckled. "Yeah I guess not." "Well then, c'mon, guys, chow time." Sprig said, pulling Anne and I by the arms.
Back in the town, Hop Pop walks out of the store he was in to see the townsfolk forming an angry mob. "When I say kill, you say them." Mayor Toadstool chanted. "KILL!" "THEM!" The townsfolk responds. "Another day, another mob, c'mon kids, time to, WHAT THE?" Hop Pop said as he turned around to see that Polly was sick, and Sprig was nowhere to be found. "I DON'T HAVE A CANDY PROBLEM, YOU HAVE A CANDY PROBLEM!" Polly shouted. "Polly, where's Sprig?" Hop Pop asked worried. "Uh, something, something, monsters, something, something, woods." She replied. "Oh if your boy went into the woods, he's as good as eaten." Wally said. "Those beasts will devour everything in their path." "Not on my watch, hang in there boy, Hop Pop's a coming!" He shouted as he grabbed Polly and hopped into the woods to find Sprig.
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In the woods, Sprig dumped out a bucket of mushrooms and seeds. I picked one up and ate it. "Hey, this is pretty good." I said. Sprig nodded. "So, first question, what the heck are you and where did you come from?" "We're human beings, and we come from another world!" Anne replied dramatically. "Either that or this is a dream." I added. "Wow, do you know how you got here?" Sprig asked. "Nope, one minute we were in our world, and the next thing I knew we were here, we don't know how to get home, or if we can get home." Anne explains. "So that's our story, how about you?" I asked Sprig. "What were you doing in the woods?" "Proving that I'm responsible." Sprig responds. "Oh yeah, how?" asked Anne. Sprig really didn't want to say he was hunting beasts to save the town. Suddenly, Wally leads the angry mob to us and me and Anne were soon tied up. "No, you guys got it all wrong!" Sprig argued, trying to fight the mob. "Ha, ha, you caught the monsters, Sprig, I'm impressed." Hop Pop said walking toward Sprig. "Dude, what the heck, you set us up?" Anne asked. "I thought we were connecting." "No, this wasn't my plan." Sprig replied. Suddenly a mantis popped up and the mob was getting into a "mantis formation." However, the mantis that was hunting us earlier returned and the other one fled. Sprig started to untie Anne and I. "What is this, another trick?" I asked. "I'll distract that thing, you guys get outta here." Sprig ordered. Sprig was shooting rocks from his slingshot, but the mantis tried attacking him, so, me and Anne grabbed the mantis by the arm to save his life. "DO SOMETHING!" Anne yelled as her eyes glow a light blue color. "We can't hold it much longer." I added. Sprig grabbed the rope we were tied in and wrapped it around the mantis. He couldn't tie the mantis up alone, but Anne and I pulled the other half of the rope and the mantis was down. "We did it!" We shouted. "Up top." Anne said as Sprig used his tongue instead of his hand. "Oh boy, that's gross." "Well, now that that's settled, what the heck are we gonna do with those things?" Asked Mayor Toadstool. "Maybe we ought to run them out of town just to be safe, then they will be someone else's problem." The mob ran towards Anne and me, when Sprig protected us. "Stop right there!" He exclaimed. "They're not monsters, they're just lost and need our help, we should take care of them." "Are you crazy?" The mayor asked. "Yeah, what if they go nutty tomorrow and start eating people?" Wally added. "Not gonna happen, buddy." Anne said. "Don't worry yourselves silly," said Hop Pop. "I'll keep an eye on them, all of them." "Have it your way, Hopediah Plantar, but I don't like it." Mayor Toadstool said as he left the forest with the angry mob, leaving me, Anne, and the Plantar's alone. "Looks like I'm back to causing trouble for the family again huh?" Sprig asked. "Trouble, Sprig, standing up to that angry mob to help these creatures out was some of the bravest, most responsible stuff I've ever seen." Hop Pop said. "That was pretty cool, Sprig," Polly said. "It was also really dumb." "Yes, really, really dumb." added Hop Pop. "You think I'm responsible?" Sprig asked. "Well, yeah, just this one time." He replied. "Well, don't get carried away." "Well, this has been great, but please give us a map, we gotta find our way out of this cooky place." I said. "Oh, a map won't be enough," Hop Pop said. "This here valley is surrounded by mountains that are impenetrable this time of year." "It should clear up in a couple of months." Sprig added as my mouth dropped. "But until then, if you try to cross those mountains," Hop Pop explains. "You, will, die." added Polly. "Are you telling us that we are stuck in this crazy place for two months?" I asked. "Where are we gonna stay?" Anne adds.
Back at the Plantar's house, Anne and I were staying in their basement. I don't mind the basement, but Anne was quickly disgusted. "Alrighty, kitchen's upstairs, breakfast at sunrise sharp." Hop Pop said. "Okay, thanks dude." I said. Sprig leaped into the basement. "Hey, getting comfy?" He asked. We nodded. "I'm glad you're staying with us, monsters." "Me too, weird little frog boy." Anne replied. "Me three." I added. "Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite," Sprig said. " Seriously they can drain a body in seconds." "Night, Sprig." I said as the young frog goes back upstairs. "Night, Anne." I went to sleep in a sleeping bag, but Anne decided to pull out the music box Sasha had her steal. Anne opened the box, but nothing happened. Anne sighed. "Looks like we're gonna be here for a while."
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Sword System Academia
2/17 NOTICE: I'm putting this on hiatus, possibly permanently. I didn't want to spam with an "update chapter", so hopefully here and in the story blurb will get enough eyeballs. There are a couple reasons for ending SSA for now. 1) I wrote the next chapter but wasn't happy with it. I've been less and less satisfied with SSA's quality the more I thought about it. Part of the reason is... 2) I am seriously thinking about trying to publish some novels to help pay the bills, since I don't have my other source of income anymore. I have never asked for anything from SSA readers, no money, not even a review or rating. SSA is written for fun to amuse myself, primarily, and I would kind of feel bad actually charging someone money for something as unserious as that. I don't think it is good enough to ask anything in return. To use an analogy from music, SSA is more like a jam session with a bunch of friends. You're just chiling and having fun playing some music. I mean, if you are Mozart or even Eminem, your jam session is good enough to sell, but for an amateur beginner like myself, haha, no. If I want to publish something, I feel like I need to go the proper route of practice and rehearsals, which might be more similar to a classical concert performance. With SSA, I work from worldbuilding notes and a loose outline, but what you are essentially getting is the first draft with lots of so-called pantsing. Pushing out a web novel like this also means it is very difficult to go back and improve things without breaking everything else downstream. I wanted to try this "jamming" approach, as it was a good way to teach me about another aspect of writing, but to move forward, I think I need to hone my "classical" techniques, which emphasize rewriting, or at least, revising outlines. 3) While I intend to try to make $$$, my actual current goal is to "get gud". I've spent a lot of time recently trying to understand the self-publishing industry, and I'm pretty sure I can make some money by using short-term strategies with my current amateur skill level. But I've seen too many authors come and go/burnout, and really, the only way that I think I can enjoy writing and still make money on a long-term basis is to become a better writer. And the next step for me, which I haven't done much before, is to spend more time on rewriting and outlines. That is pretty much antithetical to the way SSA is developing. I've always been kind of 20/80 plotting/pantsing, but I want to spend a lot more time outlining before I even start writing. SSA jam sessions don't really fit my goal anymore. If you're curious about what's next, read on... Among other regrets, I regret not finishing SSA. It's the first story I've dropped, but then again, it's the first web novel I've attempted, so I suppose that's not a surprise. I don't think traditional web novel formats suit me that well. The whole SSA story I had loosely planned (beyond a first book or major arc) is way too large as well. Big story = good for neverending webnovel with Patreons, bad for penniless and fickle writer like me. I am currently outlining a complete trilogy to another story in great detail. I want the story to end concisely, and I also want the chance to really spend a lot of time on the full outline to spot pacing problems, character issues, lost themes, and so on. I'll still share this story on RR. What I intend to do is finish book 1, flash-publish the whole thing here for a few weeks, then publish on the big Zon. Repeat for books 2 and 3. The upcoming story will be about crafting heroes. The backdrop is an isekai-like setting, where elves will summon humans to their world as heroes, but the whole hero crafting business is still in its infancy. The elven mage researchers are figuring out how to imbue heroes with power, while the heroes are trying to figure out how to use the powers that they gain. Humans are the best hero templates because they are blank and have no intrinsic magic. Or at least that what the elves thought. The human MC has his own secrets... There will be some similarities with litrpgs, but I would call it more a progression fantasy or gamelit story. For example, the stats are very low, at least initially. Say we have a stat called Str. Going from Str = 1 to Str = 2 is a huge deal. Also, going from Dex = 0 to Dex = 1 is an even bigger deal. I guess you could call it a "low-stat litrpg", haha. Also, the heroes won't be gaining stats simply by killing things or leveling up. You can't increase stats arbitrarily, either. There will be rules to how stats can increase, and how they work with each other. The elven mages will be figuring out these rules in order to craft stronger and stronger heroes. Some inspiration will be from cultivation magic systems, but there won't be overt cultivation, at least for now. A theme I really want to explore is the idea of interactions. That includes things like hero crafter vs hero, tactics vs strategy, skill synergies, racial interactions (dwarves, elves, etc), and son. Yeah, so hero crafting. I'm super excited about this project and venturing into publishing. If you want to check out the upcoming story, you can follow my RR author profile to see when it drops here. Finally... THANK YOU TO EVERYONE! I'm very sorry that SSA is stopping, but I hope at least some of you will find the next story at least as enjoyable, if not more. Thanks to all the readers who gave SSA a shot. Big hug or solid fistbump to all of you, whichever you prefer! I hope this message is not a downer but an upper, because I am psyched!! -purlcray -------------- BLURB: Talen, youngest Master of the Koroi, makes his way to the Empire's capital to salvage his clan's fate. 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I took parts from different genres I enjoyed and twisted them into my own creation. There will be an explicit system, both of the litrpg kind and the hard(ish) magic kind, but it is embedded within an academic structure that will develop over the course of the story. This is my attempt to design a unique type of system, the System Academia.
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