《The Calamity Girls (Book 1)》Cracking Mrs. Croaker
Advertisement
Sprig took us to town and was greeted by a bunch of frogs. "Hi, Sprig, thanks for your help in the tea shop the other day." Felicia thanked. "No problem, Felicia, I had a teariffic time." Sprig joked. We kept walking and Sprig was greeted by more frogs. "Wow, people around here seem to really like Sprig." I said. "Yup, he's always been something of a town favorite, those big eyes and goofy grin are hard to resist." Polly explains. Suddenly, Mrs Croaker came riding with her vehicle. "Hey, here comes Mrs Croaker!" Sprig exclaimed as he waved to her, but she didn't respond. She came over to us. "Hi, Mrs Croaker." We greeted. "Why, hello, Anne, Rowena, Polly." Mrs Croaker replied. Sprig tried talking to her, but she didn't say anything to him. "That was weird, guys, you aren't going to believe this but, I don't think Mrs Croaker likes me!" Sprig exclaimed. "Huh, so what do you think Hop Pop is making for dinner tonight?" Anne asked. "How could she not like me, I'm Sprig, the fun Plantar." Sprig continued. "Don't worry about it, dude, it's okay if one person doesn't like you." Anne explains. "You know what, Anne, you're right, this is not okay!" Sprig exclaimed. "That's literally the opposite of what Anne just said." I said. "Looks like it's time to crank up the charm on this widow." Sprig whispered as he opened the door for her, but she didn't even thank him. "What?" Sprig wondered. He tried to help her, but she refused. "That was the saddest thing I've ever seen." Polly stated. "How can I fix this?" Sprig asked. "Totally feel for you, dude." Anne said. "I had the same issue with a girl named Jamie Krieger back home." "Jamie doesn't really trust anyone, but our advice, just let it go." I added. "You know what, guys, you're right, I can't let this go!" Sprig exclaimed. "I have to get Mrs Croaker to like me, and I can't do that unless I know more about her." I slapped my face. "Get used to this feeling." Polly said.
Sprig took us all over the town to interview other frogs about Mrs Croaker. "Croaker, she's just a kooky old spider lady." Stumpy responded. "I think she was born that old, she looked exactly the same when I was a kid." Loggle answered. "She smells like wet leaves and fungus, and I love it." Maddie replied. "MADDIE, THE BUNS ARE BURNING!" Her father yelled.
Advertisement
Later, Anne was playing a game on her phone with Polly when Sprig came back exhausted. "I spent all day and I know even less about her than I did before." Sprig groaned. Hop Pop came out of the store we were sitting at. "Sorry about the wait kids." Hop Pop apologized. "Hop Pop, Mrs Croaker doesn't like me!" Sprig cried. "Huh, so what do you kids want for dinner?" Hop Pop asked. "I was thinking ravioli." "Aw yeah, that's what I'm talking about!" Anne and I exclaimed. "Jinx!" Anne shouts and I blushed a little bit. Sprig sighed.
Back at the house, I was reading a book when Sprig barged in. "Guys, I got it!" Sprig exclaimed as we screamed. "I've got a completely reasonable plan for getting Mrs Croaker to like me. "Glad to hear it, lay it on us." Anne said. "Well, I'm gonna break into her house, search through her belongings, find a key to her secret wishes, and make them all come true." Sprig explains. "That plan is most likely gonna cause frog abuse and she'll hate you even more!" I shouted. "Listen, Sprig, Mrs Croaker is just like Jamie Krieger, who, for some inexplicable reason, didn't like either of us." "Rowena, this is totally different." Sprig said. "This is about me, I'm totally likable, when you guys can be a bit..." We glared at Sprig. "Go on." Anne replied. "Likable also." Sprig continued. "Darn right we're likable!" I snapped. "Anne gave Jamie all her pudding cups at lunch." "And nothing!" Anne added. "What was her deal?" "Will you three stop yelling?!" Polly shouts. "You know there's no soundproofing on these walls, right?" "Wait, seriously?" Anne asked. "Yup, don't you hear Hop Pop yodel himself to sleep every night?" Sprig responded. "I thought it was a stray animal or something!" I gasped. "Nope, just our Hop Pop being a freak." Polly explains. "You're a freak!" Hop Pop replied from upstairs. "Well, I've got a house to break into, so..." Sprig said as he left.
Anne, Polly, and I had to stop Sprig from doing something stupid. "Sprig, you gotta get out of here, man." Anne whispers. "Oh, hey guys, here to help?" Sprig asked. "Uh, yeah, you need help, bud, but not with this." I replied. "This is deranged!" Polly yelled. "Alright, dude, put the stuff back, we're leaving." Anne ordered. Sprig refused and started fighting over the stuff and eventually dropped her things. They dropped a chest full of her secrets. "Hey!" Sprig exclaimed as he sees a picture of a young Mrs Croaker. "Is that Mrs Croaker?" "Dang, she was hot." I said. "Hold on, who is that?" Sprig asked, pointing at a picture of a young man. "Wait a second, oh my gosh, Mrs Croaker has a long-lost love." Sprig found more information about the man. His name is Jonah. "I'm gonna hunt down that frog and reunite them." Sprig explains. "And then, she won't like me, oh no, she'll love me." Sprig left and left us in the house. "So, you guys wanna stay here and look at more pictures of hot Croaker?" I asked. "You read my mind!" Polly replied. "Let's do it." Anne added.
Advertisement
Sprig came back a while later with an old man. "Sprig, where have you been?" Anne asked. "And who is this strange man attached to you?" "This handsome bachelor happens to be the frog that will make Mrs Croaker love me forever." Sprig explains. "Name's Jonah." He introduced. "Mrs Croaker, do I have a surprise for you." Sprig said. "Is it the puzzle of the month club?" She asked as she opened the door to see Jonah. "J-Jonah?" "Sadie?" Jonah asked. Oh my gosh, they're about to flirt. "Sadie Croaker, there's something that I've been wanting to tell you for 30 years, Sadie Croaker, prepare to die!" "Wait, what?" Sprig asked. "You think you got the best of me in Bogwater Canyon, but I haven't forgotten." Jonah explains. "Jonah, this isn't romantic!" Sprig exclaimed. "30 years I've been searching for ya, but you hid too well, but now, thanks to this weird, little frog leading me straight to you, your time is up." Jonah continued as Sprig laughed nervously. "You should've let sleeping frogs lie and stayed away, you'd have spared yourself from what's about to happen." Mrs Croaker said. "Ha, what are you gonna do to me now?" Jonah asked. "You're just an old woman!" They were arguing with each other. "He's right, she is an old woman, I'll save you, Mrs Croaker!" Sprig exclaimed as Mrs Croaker stopped him with his cane. "Step aside, boy." She said as Jonah shot arrows from his crossbow and she used her cane as a shield. Yeah, Croaker, mess him up!" Polly cheered. Mrs Croaker finished the fight with her spider, Archie, catching Jonah in a web. My jaw dropped. "Whoa." Anne said. "That was..." "AWESOME!" Polly interrupted. "I'm in shock." I added. "What just happened?" Sprig asked. "Nothing happened, nothing at all." Mrs Croaker replied. "Because if word of this gets out, let's just say it'll be very bad for everyone, are we clear?" "These lips be zipped." Anne replied. "Didn't see a thing." Polly responded. "Definitely." I said. "Yes, of course, so sorry." Sprig added as she grabbed him. "Alright, boy, what's this all about?" Mrs Croaker asked. "Spill it." "I wanted you to get to like me." Sprig explains. "So, I kind of snuck into your house and secretly went through all your things." "What?" She asked. "And I saw all this stuff about Jonah and I thought he was your long-lost love." Sprig continued. Mrs Croaker cackled. "What an idiot, what makes you believe that you can please everyone, kid?" She asked. "Jonah here don't like me." "It's true." Jonah added in a muffled voice. "Plenty of people don't like those three." Mrs Croaker explains. "Well, hey now!" Anne snapped. "Come again?" I asked. "Mission accomplished!" Polly exclaimed. "And I just don't like you." Mrs Croaker said. "But, what did I do, why don't you like me?" Sprig asked. "I mean, I like you." "I don't know, something about your big eyes and goofy smile rub me the wrong way?" She replied. "But, you did go through all that trouble to get me to like you, I guess I can try and like you back." "That's okay, you're right, like me or not, I'm fine." Sprig said. "Cool, I guess we'll get going then." Anne added. "She likes me!" Sprig chanted. "You walked right into that one." I commented. "Good luck getting rid of him now." Polly added. "Aw, crud." She sighed as Sprig continued to chant.
Advertisement
- In Serial37 Chapters
Truth and Myths - Awakening
The existence of the supernatural has always been a controversial debate. Some believed in the existence of dragons and zombies. Others believed in angels and demons. It has never been something the entirety of mankind could agree upon. The truth was that they exist. Almost all of them have been recorded down in history, only to be treated as mere myths and legends as technology progressed. David’s realisation of this fact was all too sudden.Being throw into this world of myths and legends, follow David’s story as he discovers his true self.Warning: Tagged [17+] for Strong Language, Gore, Violence and (perhaps) Sexual Scenes __________________ Character Sheets __________________ Follow me!
8 206 - In Serial10 Chapters
Sweetleaf Cultivation
If you’re reading this. Not cool Dude! Or Dudette. Hashtag Resist. Seriously though, it’s not nice to read other people's diaries. Yes, it's a diary, kind of. The only men who call their diaries journals have an issue with their own masculinity I think. Well, I guess I can’t be too angry, considering if this is in anyone else’s hands I’m probably dead. Or I lost it. I lose stuff a lot. Since you’re here, regardless of the reason, I guess I’ll tell my story, such as it is. I know, why tell my story when I could tell you about the Fall of Killianor, or the story of when Micha the Bold banded together with his underdog group of misfits to destroy the Pallantine Regime. Hell, even the tale of Tulsa and Gran’s star crossed love affair would probably be better. If you don’t think so after finishing this you more than likely have poor taste. Weird taste, at any rate. Hello RR! Welcome to the greatest work of fiction you will ever read! ... .... Did you believe that? Cause its not. At all. This is my first work that I will have published in any fashion, and to be completely honest is more to gain practice for my real story. That is not to say I do not care about it. I do. I will do my best to finish it in, if not satisying, at least a conclusive manner. I will warn you however that updates will be infrequent at best though chapter length will not be under 2000 words. I work third shift currently, and at over 40 hours a week I do not have much time to really devote to this at the moment. I DO have an outline for the novel complete, but currently only about 5 actual chapters written and edited. There will be mistakes, including grammar and continuity, plot holes, etc.. If you see these please either comment or feel free to message me directly, and I will get it updated asap. Aside from a fledgeling authors mishaps, expect to find a somewhat comedic slice of life, with a mish mash of xianxia and western fantasy themes, tropes and the like. There will be some gore, network tv levels of sexuality, and absolutely no harems. There will also be COPIUS amount of swearing and drug use and while I said there would be no harems already he may find people in polyamorous situations. I hope you enjoy this, and as a last aside I beg of you not to rate it super low without justification, and if you give a bad rating please leave an actual review so that i know what I need to work on. *Original cover as of 09/01/20. Mishmash of stock photos and edits. HAVE FUN!
8 121 - In Serial9 Chapters
Sorcery of the Fair Folk : First Book of the Feycrowned Series
The world of Vanaris is a place ripe with kingdoms and empires with different outlooks. Some fighting for dominance, some for peace and some even for the sake of war. However, the empire of Aveilorn stands above all. Ruled by mages and the common folk no more than slaves. A village of the descendants of several Feycrowned has long since turned into a global powerhouse, conquering all those that stand before them and oppressing those that give in. Their newest target is the kingdom of Bleuria, with a dormant mine of mithril that common folk are unable to extract. The path of battle is one the denizens of Aveilorn tread, annihilating all but the submissive. However, would that be so simple with several Feycrowned appearing out of nowhere in particular? Would the sophisticated mages prevail or the untamed wild Feycrowned succeed in driving off the intruders? Or would those Feycrowned even be willing to help in protecting the kingdom?
8 230 - In Serial10 Chapters
In Memoriam
A Warhammer 40,000 Fan Novel Serving as an Acolyte of the Inquisition, Carrell Vestulus finds himself without the people he has spent his past years relying on, confronted with xenos, heretics and a force beyond his comprehension that seems to harry him at every turn, he must draw on powers not of his own to strike back against the horrors of the galaxy and protect those that he fights and serves alongside.
8 204 - In Serial8 Chapters
Every Time I Sleep, I Die
Kayla, a normal girl who had normal aspirations. There is just one problem, she dies everytime she falls asleep. Unknown of this fact, she believes she is just visiting the afterlife in her dream where only one phrase can wake her. What happens when the people closest to her start to die? Will she be able to bring them back from the land of the dead?
8 175 - In Serial21 Chapters
Hero for hire
In the year of 2026 the humanity got itself into bunch of tricky situations, that included third world war, genetic muations, crazy murderous robots, secret societies and many more. But protagonist of the story doesn't care about those things. Rewrite of my previous fiction.
8 85

