Dear girl who needed closure,

Now before I start, I know you said you didn't want a letter back, so instead see this as the letter you never had when you deserved one.

First things first, I have to say I didn't expect this letter and I'm going to pretend that you blocking me on social media doesn't hurt my feelings even though you were probably right on the answering part there. There's a lot of weird people on the gram.

However, there's one thing you're wrong about. I could never forget you, not even if I wanted to. You were my first everything and believe me when I say that even for boys those will never fade away. 

You were my first kiss, my first 'I love you' and my first goodbye- even though I didn't really say that and I'm terribly sorry for that. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye or give you a reason. The truth is I was scared and young and I know that's not an excuse, but if I had known how much it would have hurt you I had done things differently.

I wasn't encountering your feelings and I can't tell you how much regret I have for that. Now I realise my mistake and if I could do it all over again I would believe me. 

Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way and a lot of years were lost. I guess you could say things never turn out like you expect them to, but you already know that.

We once thought we were getting married, maybe even have kids. We were young and naive and even though we felt like we had the world at our fingertips none of that was the truth. We were living in a fairytale, something too good to be true and I guess us losing contact just proves that. 

I wish we still had contact. 

Maybe then I had someone to say 'I love you' to now, someone to kiss and hold when things didn't turn out like expected or someone to talk to in dark times, I guess what I'm trying to say is: I wish it went differently too. Maybe then you wouldn't only have been my first, but also my last.

Maybe you still will be.

Honestly, you've set such high standards for me that I'm not sure if I will ever find a love like I had with you.

There is no one that can compare with you. You were the most beautiful girl then and I can only imagine how much prettier you have gotten over the years. You must have grown in the most gorgeous woman and even though you're beautiful on the outside it's your personality that made me fall in love with you all those years ago.

I know, cliché, but how much did looks matter when you were 7-year-olds. 

I guess we both come off cheesy, maybe it's the fact we're actually writing on physical paper, instead of typing away on our screens. 

Anyway, you were the funniest kid in the class, the kid everyone adored, including me. You had everyone wrapped around your fingers and you didn't even know it. 

No one can compare with you, so I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for doing what I did.

Maybe the 'could have beens' don't have to stay just that. If you want we can try and turn them into memories because I still miss you as well.

Sincerely,

The boy who you have wrapped around your finger