I am humbled and horrified that this book has made it to #17 on non-fiction. Humbled because well, wow. Wow that so many people care to read this even if it's just to be nosey. There is no shame in noseyness!!

Horrified because good lord my vagina story is out there all over the internet! My most personal business, the secret I kept for so many years that nobody could know!! The old me would be freaking the fuck out right now. Excuse my French.

I got some more questions inboxed to me this week, here are some of my answers. If I didn't get to them tonight have no fear, I will answer more later.

Please feel free to keep messaging your questions. If I don't answer them it's because 1. I've already answered it so look back! 2. Your question was rude as fuck and I'll message you privately about it (yeah there's been some of those, *major eye roll*). Only two of you have gotten a piece of my mind but beware...if you ask something totally inappropriate you will get a good lecture.

Anything legitimate is totally okay, even if it feels personal. Just don't turn this into something sexual okay? I'm not gonna detail how my partner and I have sex, I'm not gonna give you some weird fantasy story about using dilators at physical therapy.

So if your question isn't totally absurd and coming from your boner, hit me up.

Okay here we go.

Do you know when you'll be done with physical therapy yet?

No not yet, and probably not ever. I assume I'll be done when things are normal-but there is a chance I'll have relapses and have to go back to physical therapy. It could be a lifelong thing!

Unfortunately with this type of PT, there is no real estimate to when you'll get better...it just depends on the woman. And from what I've been told I'm a pretty severe case. I could get lucky and fix this all in a few months (doubtful) it could take all year, it could take years. And though my doctors won't admit it to me (I think they're afraid of me getting upset) I truly believe there is a possibility that I may never get better. I know it's morbid but I'm learning to accept it. I just wish my doctors would admit I'm right haha.

Do you have to shave for PT?

Uhh...no. I mean I do, but not for pt...I was never given specific instructions on how to present my vulva. Just you know, I would assume it's common curtesy to wash it, keep it clean...okay I'm done here.

Why didn't you take the nurse's suggestion for essential oils? Wouldn't you try anything at that point?

Well one, this nurse was really really dumb. I hardly ever say that about working professionals because I don't know their situation but I can say with no doubt she was spitting out her butt. 1. I can't even stick a cotton swab up there how am I gonna put essential oils there?? 2. ESSENTIAL OILS DOWN THERE?? No no no. I'm not into homeopathy at all but I respect it for the most part but essential oils in my vagina-no. I draw the line at that thank you very much.

Do you still have pain from the surgery?

Yes! Not constant but like sudden stabbing out of nowhere. Sometimes so bad it actually makes me like bend over involuntary. I guess that's just the tissue healing though...

Have a lot of your friends and family read this? Were your friends shocked that you lied to them for so long?

Yes and probably yes, although they have been very tactful about it. I think they realize it isn't personal that I lied, and understand that I'm just a crazy B that has to come to terms with this stuff before I tell everyone. It's just how I am. (Not the lying, the secret keeping)

Are you planning on publishing this?

Why yes, yes I am! Not this one specifically, it will be a much longer, much more detailed story with (hopefully) interviews with professionals who can tell you exactly what's going on. Yes, I hope I can make this into a book, then my goal will be to distribute it for free to Dr. Brook's and Dr. Goldstein's clinics to give to their patients. That's the goal!

How's it going not having any sexual contact for so long?

I mean, it's fineee...it sucks. I share a bed with my fiancé who I love more than anything and am attracted to. But he's so supportive and we both realize if I mess this up I may have to get another surgery and I do not want to go through that hell again! No thank you!!

Okay I'm done for now. There have been a few questions trying to get me to explain where the vestibule is (I did post a pic in one of my chapters guys...) it's hard to explain.

I have pictures from my surgery and I'm seriously debating putting them up. On one hand I don't mind sharing because they aren't like sexy pictures-trust me. It's not like you see my vulva, it's just part of my labia minora before surgery with my vestibule mapped out, after surgery with it cut out and then with all 80 stitches...they're kinda gross pictures to be honest.

On the other hand, I'm not so sure how I feel about so many strangers looking inside my vagina. I mean I know it's for a good cause and what not, but...I mean it's still my vagina. I dunno I'll think on it.

Ps

If you want to read more about my experience in the psych ward I'm writing about that. It's called My Week in a Psych Ward and it's obviously under my profile @RebeccaChiffelle

Thank you all for your incredible feedback, and great questions! Thanks for reading this and giving it a purpose! Mmmwwwah!!