Why have I been holding on to nothing

For all this time since that night,

When everything turned to dust

Right before my eyes?

It's crystal clear to me

That you're now better than ever,

And I'm so happy for you, I really am,

But I hate how for too many months

I was the only one who mourned

And missed what we had.

When the wall was brought down,

And we started talking again,

I had thought that we would

Find our way back to each other,

But that was not the case.

Maybe you were giving me mixed signals,

As you have always done,

But maybe it was all in my head,

Made up by my fear of letting go

And by the hope of a new beginning.

We were never really meant to be,

And I regret not being able to give up in november,

When the flags stood tall and red.

I think that maybe we met for a reason,

For I believe nothing is without a meaning.

You taught me how to put myself first,

And I am so very glad to have learned this.

But we weren't good for each other in the end.

You weren't good for me.

I'm emotional. For me, words and feelings

Have been everything for quite some time now.

You have your reputation of not being empathic.

I have know that about you

Ever since we met.

I saw all the signs and yet I still jumped,

And I paid with tears and ink for my mistakes.

And I hate to bring him up again,

But I was so stupid to forget.

And now you hold him in your arms,

And I know he was your intention from the start,

But for a little while I had allowed myself

To believe that I had found what

I had dreamed of for so very long.

Acceptance may be the most painful stage of grief,

And it took me so long to get here,

But now that I finally see it for what it is,

I can admit that it's hard to get over it,

Since you meant so much to me,

But sometimes things don't work out,

And people break up,

And that's ok,

Because when I had you,

I felt like I was losing myself,

So now that you're gone,

I'm meeting me again,

And I'm shining like never before.