𝖄ou loved him. to you, shirabu kenjiro would always be that forever beautiful poetry inked within the walls of your iris bones, marred like a permanent tattoo. you loved his soft locks of hair, pale coconut beneath your fingertips as you combed through it. his long lashes and rosy cheeks as you taste his name on his drunk-flavoured mouth - peppering sweet melodies into the quiescent air. his fingers, gentle and soft as it writes galaxy bruises into your skin. you opened your eyes and stare into his; oh how you loved his eyes. like caramel mars deep lost and swirling with mystery and adoration and glitters of stars that twinkle twinkle twinkle faintly making you blush. you were drunk and breathless - his eyes were burning into yours with a hint of milquetoast flickering here and there.

your lips tug into a smile, just as you pressed it back to his, shirabu's body was hugging yours. heat was dancing between the both of you and your finger traces his jawline softly. he was beautiful, such delicate features for a lost boy lost in space. you were happy being indulged within your boyfriend's embrace. letting his mouth do wonders all over your flesh and neck and letting his fingers run across your body, memorising reminiscing every faint curve and every soft flesh.

but deep down, you knew out of all the curves in your body; shirabu kenjiro admired your smile the most.

"kenjiro." his name leaves your lips shakily before he shuts you up. his lips moulding with yours perfectly. he was like a greek god made of marble statue - the moonlight dripping from the curtains melting into the room as the boy lifts you up and settles you on a table, pushing you further. you were in silent euphoria as he run his tongue on your neck; in the room no one spoke - no one dared to. you were both so terrified that even a single mismatched noise would shatter the glass between you both.

he was your addiction and a never tasteless drug to devour over over and over. he once felt like home to you, once.

your (e/c) eyes flutters open when you felt something on your neck. like a soft rain pitter pattering against your skin,

shirabu was crying,

you quickly pull away and looked at his face, your hands immediately cupping his blushing cheeks with silver footprints cascading down, like strawberry meadows caught in a soft drizzle of grey weather. the boy continues to shake in silent cries, beautiful lashes drenched in diamond dews you wanted to kiss like kindergarten bandages. instead, you smiled a sad smile and laid your forehead against his. his hands were on your thigh, he held it firmly but gentle enough not to hurt you.

"don't cry." you murmur quietly into his hair.

"i loved you, (y/n)." he says, so broken and lost. "so so fucking much."

you sipped the ivory hues of the room silently, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close as shirabu buried his face in your collarbones.

"kenjiro," you start. "you loved me, a past tense,"

"i know, i know that godamn well than anyone else!" he grits his teeth, pulling you close, impossibly closer. "i know i don't feel the same feelings for you like i had back then. i wanted to so badly love you but i don't know why i can't. but at the same time," he stops, letting his words settle.

"i don't want this to end, i don't want to stop kissing you. hugging you. touching you. but everything, this–it feels wrong yet so right!"

"hush now." you coed a lulling song, you cannot help but pepper affectionate kisses all over his beautiful face. shirabu pulled you towards a kiss, he could taste your flavoured lipstick on his mouth, your breaths mingling and tongues touching, and in that kiss the boy poured all of his feeling both present and now - his frustrations, his sadness his love that he had left for you that bloomed on his beating ribcage,

he poured it into that last kiss.

i love you, you could feel his words on your marshmallow lips. i love love love love–loved you so much. when you both pull away, you were breathless ones again. then, you stared into his overwhelming eyes, your smile broken and small.

"you want to end it now?"

shirabu nods his head and he finally lets you go - his touch lingering for a moment. he breathes shakily, running his fingers through his hair like he could still remember your fingers comb through it mere minutes ago, then smiles at you, faintly.

"yeah,"

even if you loved him with all your heart and soul - in the end you both just crawled out of love, the affection between you was bittersweet drugs and dreams pretending that you were happy staying together with him, even though you weren't. you hated that you loved him too much but you never regretted kissing him and never regretted giving your heart to him; even in the cusp of its tragic end you told yourself that you'll never cry for a boy - you know that you had never cried for boy before, even for a beautiful boy named shirabu kenjiro.

and at the end of the story, you didn't shed a single tear.

end.