The bonfire is in full blaze as I drive along the dirt path. I used to live for nights like these, but now all I want is to be cuddled up next to Hunter on the couch watching shitty reality TV. I guess it's a small price to pay so I can seem normal again.

Holden has a party on his parent's property every weekend. Their hundred-acre farm has several old barns that they no longer use for horses. Now they serve the purpose of housing about a hundred drunken idiots, puking and spilling beer all over the place. I'm sure his parents are thrilled about the return on their investment.

As soon as I exit my car, I hear my name being called from over by the kegs. I flash a smile and wave as if I'm totally happy to be here right now. Poppy intercepts me before I'm halfway up the winding path that leads to the barn.

She throws her arms around my neck sloppily, spilling half her drink in the process. "Oh my god, Elliot," she slurs. "I swear it's been months since I've seen you out. You're like a ghost, girl."

I take a step back when she releases her death grip on me and force a smile. Even though Poppy and I used to be fairly close, I can't remember the last time I actually had a full conversation with her. "I've been around," I say as a plastic cup is handed to me by one of the guys manning the keg.

Poppy twirls a strand of hair around her finger and leans into me. I think her intention is to whisper, but she's too lit to pull it off. "Did you see Cameron? She's completely wasted already." Her arm flings to her right, and sure enough, Cameron is stumbling around awfully close to the fire. It would be a shame if she tripped.

"It's so sad the way she follows Dylan around," she continues. "It's obvious he's still into you. I wouldn't want to be the one someone dated after you."

I laugh before taking a much needed drink. "We dated for like a month."

"I know right?" She laughs and leans into me again. "I mean, look at Judah. You guys were together for like ever, and now he can barely function."

"We're fine now. We had a good talk, and I think he finally got some closure."

Poppy snorts. "Um, have you seen him? That's not exactly what I would say closure looked like."

My eyes scan around the party until they find his. He's standing just outside the barn, surrounded by our usual group, but he's not smiling. He has that same blank, somewhat bored expression he's been sporting since we broke up. My chest seizes up again, the guilt forever consuming me.

Poppy nudges me with her elbow. "See what I mean."

I take a large sip of my drink so I don't have to answer. Cameron takes this particular time to notice my presence and starts walking toward us. She stumbles on the knee-high boots she's wearing, and I stifle an eyeroll. Why she would choose such inappropriate footwear to basically stand in a field is beyond me.

I force yet another smile when she stops beside me and flicks her hair over her shoulder. "I'm surprised you showed up."

I'm suddenly finding it hard not to laugh. If this is a show of dominance, I'm not in the mood. So I choose to remain aloof. I shrug and then tilt my plastic cup to her.

"I told you I would."

She gives a strained smile of her own. I can tell when Cameron is acting petty, and right now, she can barely stand herself.

A small circle forms around us, and the party moves in my direction. I can tell it bothers her that I'm already getting so much attention just by being here. I actually think it's funny because I'm sure it has nothing to do with me at all. They don't miss the fact I've been absent from their parties—they want the dirt on why.

Holden comes up beside me and throws his arm over my shoulder. He hugs me into his side. "You still mad at me, Elle?" He tilts his head down, sincerity in his eyes. "I really am sorry about the other day at lunch."

His shaggy brown hair is sticking out from under his beanie, and he has that infectious grin on his face. I can't help but smile back at him. We all used to be really close, and it's hard being on the outside of it for once.

I hug him back. "No, I'm not mad anymore."

"Good," he says with another squeeze. He releases me, and I catch a glare from across the dirt lot.

Judah watches us for another minute and then starts walking over. I keep my eyes on his until Poppy nudges me. She leans into me and tucks a short strand of platinum hair behind her ear. "So, I've been meaning to ask you. Who are taking to prom now?" My eyes widen a little, and she laughs. "I know it's a couple months away, but it's like a really big deal."

Honestly, I forgot all about prom. It's a moment I've been dreaming about since I was old enough to walk around in my mother's heels. I always assumed it would be Judah, but now I have no clue. Maybe I won't go at all.

I take another drink and shrug one shoulder. "I don't know. Guess I didn't really think about it."

Judah's quiet, sipping his beer and pretending not to stare in my direction. Holden's eyes light up. "You can go with me, Elle. It would be fun."

This causes a reaction. Judah reaches over and grips Holden's shoulder—hard.

"Not happening," he says, leaning down to his face.

Holden shrinks back. "I was just thinking we could go as friends." He gives me an uneasy look. "You know, since you guys broke up and stuff."

The curious eyes around us are becoming overwhelming again. This is the exact reason I've avoided this for so long. The answers to their questions aren't easy and not something I can be honest about. I'm pretty sure Cameron is enjoying this. She has a smug smile on her face while clinging to Dylan off to the side.

Judah releases Holden and tilts back the rest of his beer. He throws the empty cup into the large metal can and turns back to face everyone. "She's going with me."

I work really hard to keep the stunned look off of my face. I'm about to ask him what in the hell he's talking about when he winks at me, causing my eyebrows to pull in.

Poppy looks confused. She motions between us with her cup. "I thought you guys were done?"

I open my mouth to reply, but Judah beats me to it. "It's complicated," he says, stepping closer to me. He drapes his arm over my shoulder and tucks me into his side. "We're working on it."

Judah is demonstrating a different kind of dominance, and its effect on everyone is immediate. Us being apart is unnatural to them. It disrupts some kind of balance in our world I'll never understand.

Poppy lets out a squeal and slaps Cameron in the arm. "See, bitch. I told you they would be fine." She gives me a megawatt smile and a sneer spreads across Cameron's face.

Even though I'm incredibly confused, the fact that Cameron is so bothered by all of this baffles me the most. I don't get her intentions lately. It's like she wants me to be miserable.

Judah is still pressed up against me, and I lean into him and pinch his side. "Can we talk for a minute?" I whisper.

He looks down to me and then nods with a sigh. We don't offer any more explanation before turning away from them and walking down the dirt road away from the party. He holds my hand, and I wait until we're out of earshot until I pull it away.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

He shoves his hands in his pockets and glances over my shoulder and then down to me, lowering his voice. "They'll never believe your excuses for not being around anymore."

"So?" I say, my level of irritation peaking. "I don't owe them anything."

"I never said you did, but I'm trying to help you."

I laugh. "Help me?"

He nods, the sadness returning to his eyes. "They expect us to be together. If they think we are, then they won't question it."

I take an unsteady breath. "You don't have to do that."

Judah lowers his eyes and his throat bobs. "I know."

He gets that look on his face again, and I can't stand it. I step forward and place my hands on his arms. When he looks at me again, I shake my head. "You don't. I started this and now I have to deal with whatever comes. It's not your concern anymore."

His brow furrows like I said something ridiculous. "Elle, you're always my concern." His hands fall to my waist, and he pulls me closer. "I know I fucked up, and I know that no matter what I do I can't go back and make it right—but I have to try."

I squeeze my eyes shut. I can feel myself starting to lose it, and the emotions begin to hit me in waves. Just the thought of something happening to Hunter because of me makes me sick, but I can't sacrifice Judah to save him. He's barely hanging on as it is.

He clears his throat, regaining some of his composure and looking to me with determination. "Come on, Elle. We used to run this shit. Let's show them that hasn't changed."

I can tell by the look in his eyes, he has a plan. Even though teaming up with Judah seems like a bad idea, I have a feeling it may actually work.

***

Hunter throws his arms up in frustration. "No fucking way, Elliot."

"Will you at least hear me out on this?" I say, crossing my arms.

His eyes widen. "You're joking right now." He takes a step toward me. "Because you are not standing here and asking me to let you date Judah."

"I'm not." His shoulders relax for a moment until I speak again. "He knows it's fake."

Hunter lets out a growl and turns away from me, stalking toward the bedroom. I follow him and watch as he begins to rifle through his closet like a crazy person.

"What are you doing?" I ask, my voice exasperated.

He pauses and then continues his search without looking back at me. He rips a dark blue button-down shirt from the hanger and throws it on the bed before reaching back and pulling his T-shirt off. "I'm going down to the school right now and I'm fucking quitting."

"You can't."

"Why not?" He pulls it on and begins roughly trying to fasten all the buttons. His eyes meet mine finally, and he shakes his head. "If I eliminate the problem this all goes away. Tell me how that's not a better solution then what you came up with?"

"If you quit now all it's going to do is make you look guilty. Is that what you want?" My eyes are pleading as I meet his dark stare.

He finishes the last button and reaches for a tie. "So, now you expect me to trust him?" His fingers quickly weave the fabric into place. "I'm supposed to trust someone like that?"

"No," I say moving toward him. "You're supposed to trust me."

The anger on his face doesn't subside, and I gently place my hand on his waist. He looks down at me, and I lean up and kiss him once. "Nobody is even there right now," I say softly.

For a second I think I've gotten through to him before he steps around me. "Then I'll tell them first thing tomorrow morning." He doesn't slow his pace as he exits the bedroom.

"Hunter, where are you going?" I call after him.

I manage to grab his arm before he opens the door. He fists his hands in his hair when he turns around. Another ragged breath rips through him and then he drops his arms to his sides. "I'm supposed to be the one who takes care of you, not the other way around."

"You do," I say, reaching for him again. This time he lets me get my arms around him, so I squeeze him tight. His lip press against the side of my head next and then he sighs.

"I can't let you be with him, fake or not," he whispers.

My heart aches for him, but as crazy as it sounds, I trust Judah. I know our plan will work even if Hunter is opposed to it. "It's only four and half months until graduation, after that we don't have to worry about this anymore."

With my head pressed against his chest, I can hear his heart pounding. Now the thrill I once found in getting caught seems absurd to me. What started as a harmless game has turned into something I never expected.

I never expected to fall so helplessly in love with him that I would do anything to keep it, but I did. He changed the way I feel about love entirely, and I'll never be the same. I wouldn't take it back now even if I could.

He sighs. "I don't know how I let you talk me into these things."

With a smile, I lean up on my tiptoes and grab his face, kissing him deeply. "Because you love me."

That look of contentment finally returns to his face. "I really do."