"Rate your pain level"

The physical therapist assigned to me questioned pointing at a chart with different smiley faces to rate my pain from low to high, I shrugged looking at him with an annoyed look.

"What pain? I'm paralyzed"

"Your wound, I'm asking about your abdomen"

It was still slightly tender while it healed from surgery, I pointed at the three on the chart letting the physical therapist take it down on a clip board.

"Let me start off with an introduction, my name is Rodney Washington I'm from Crenshaw and your husband asked me to help with your physical therapy for the next six months, do you have and questions or concerns for me?"

"Six months for therapy? can I get it done quicker then that?"

I wasn't ready to spend a half year or even more trying to learn how to walk all over again, I had things to do and work to be done.

"I can't say it's all up to your body and how fast it takes to therapy and we can only start off slightly slow because of your wound steal healing up, we don't want to disturb that and cause any further damage"

I looked down at my phone waiting to see if a text or call would come through from Ermias, he knew about my first day of rehab and was suppose to come for support.

"How hard is this?"

"I won't feed you lies and tell you it's going to be easy but it is rewarding once you get to the end of it, day one especially is the hardest and pain will be unbearable at times but I won't push you pass what you can handle" I checked my phone once more sitting it to the side and nodding.

"Alright, I'm ready"

Rodney smiled walking behind me to wheel me to the therapy room, it was embarrassing for me to be pushed around like this and I was angry that I was in this position because a white cop was mad that he couldn't intimidate me.

"I'm going to lay out this mat and I'll start with stretching your legs out to avoid leg spasms"

"My legs can still move even though I'm paralyzed?" I was so confused at all of this and it made me frustrated that I was by myself doing this when I was a newly married woman.

"Not exactly it's really your spinal cord isn't able to relay nerve signals to your brain"

Rodney pushed away my foot rest on the wheelchair standing in front of me he put his arms underneath mine helping me up slowly and lowering me down to the purple mat on the floor.

"Kierra just understand your injury isn't permanent and can be corrected with extensive therapy, like your husband says it's not a sprint it's a marathon"

Little did Rodney know that I needed to hear Ermias words for myself in person, yes he was doing a lot already with running all his businesses and trying to get justice for me but right now I just needed him to step away and come see about me.

"Ermias always tell me to manifest what I want and don't doubt it and I know you said six months but I need it to be at least four and I will do that"

"Well if we gonna do that then we gonna have to work harder and longer, I mean hours a day"

"Anything to get me back to myself, I have things to do"

I was now apart of large group of African Americans who were victims of police brutality's and I was almost on the list murdered by the police and my plan was to use my voice and raise awareness and defund the police that didn't protect us.

"Lets start with this and then you can plan out your next steps once you start walking again"

"What do I have to do first?"

"The bars, everything at this point is upper body strength but I will be there every step of the way to spot you"

I glanced over at the doors just to see if Ermias would walk through, clenching my jaw I accepted that he wasn't coming and to just suck it up and get this day done with.

"Alright"

Rodney helped me back into my wheel chair rolling me over to the bars that reminded me of ballet class placing my wheel chair at the beginning, a task that seemed so easy if I were to have the feeling in my bottom half now looked so hard.

"All I ask is that you don't coddle me like a child and let me fall it will motivate me"

"It's not something physical therapist like to do to keep from hurting our patients" I wanted to go all in and get the real feel of how therapy would be like.

"I am a tough person I can handle a fall or two"

Rodney seemed hesitant but agreed locking the wheelchair and helping me up on the bars, stepping back.

"Put as much weight as you can on your legs"

I gritted my teeth trying to hold myself up on the bars, I stared down at my legs that seemed to do their own thing and ignore my brain telling it them to "walk". My hands began to sweat and I knew I was falling face first.

"Kierra!" I groaned rolling over onto my back holding my chin that took the blunt of the fall.

"I'm fine lemme try again"

A little pain wasn't going to stop me from trying again and again until I reached some sort of goal before I left out of this room, Rodney helped me up spotting me until I was back on the bars.

I thought about my son and how I needed to do this for him, I couldn't be confined to a chair with what I had planned.

"Damn, yo shit bleeding"

My head turned to Rico's voice, he was the last person I expected to show up for me at this moment, I wanted to finish before I gave him my attention. Here I was again trying to put weight on my legs and falling straight to the floor this time catching my funny bones on both arms.

"Oh shit!" Rico shouted dramatically making me cry and laugh at the same time, I laid there for a moment just laughing and crying on the floor " Kierra, come on now"

"I'm trying to have faith it's hard"

I felt two hands on my back one was Rodney and the other Rico, I stopped crying looking between them.

"Ya'll fucking brothers?" I groaned dropping my head back down.

"How you think he found out about you? yo husband hit me up and lemme know what went down with you and I referred him to my brother"

"Get me up, I'm ready to try again"

I winced letting them help me back up to the bars, Rodney stood beside me this time to spot me.

"I understand you want to get this done fast but you gotta let me help so you can avoid getting hurt, Ric go grab the first aid kit on the wall for me"

Rodney touched my shoulder lightly and I sighed giving in and nodding, I clearly couldn't do this all on my own, Rico walked over with the first aid kit.

"Let's get you in your chair and get this chin cleaned up, rate your pain now"

"Six" I sat down in my chair putting my head back to get my chin cleaned up.

Rico stood beside me staring down at my legs sympathetically and that's all it took to get me crying like a baby, that was one thing I didn't want to do was look at me like I was helpless.

"Kierra, what's wrong?"

"Why me? I was just trying to stand up for my family and my people that's it now I can't even fucking walk" Rico chewed the inside of his cheek getting glossy eyes.

"I told you that's temporary and we gonna get you on your feet to continue to stand for your family and for the people"

"What good am I in this chair?"

Rico squatted down in front of me I looked away from him because I didn't want to see the sympathy for me in his eyes, Rodney handed him a tissue for me that he took wiping my face like I was his kid.

"This may come off harsh but I rather see you in this chair than in the grave, you are still you and I know right now it doesn't feel like it but guess what God allowed you to do, two things"

"I don't know" I wasn't feeling too spiritual right now because I didn't understand why this had happened to me.

"He allowed you to stay on this earth and you still have your God given gift and right now is when you use it to get you through negative thoughts and dark times'

Rico wiped my face and nose some more. he could see that I was down and had the right words of an encouragement to tell me.

"Yes when it rains it pours but the beautiful thing about it is the rainbow that comes after it, yeah you struggling now but when you walk again the victory will be sweet"

I nodded sniffing getting my phone checking it again still no text from Ermias only from my baby Kameron.

: I love you mom-2:56PM

: I love you too baby-2:57PM

This week had been non stop grinding for me, I was between working on new ideas at the clothing store, building a case for Kierra's attempted murder and trying to get the store ready for her art show she wanted to still do.

"Dad I though Aunt Sammy was picking us up today?" Emani commented climbing in the backseat beside Kameron who stayed with his head in the phone probably texting his mom.

"When did I tell you that?"

I rubbed my face tired as hell, past few nights were sleepless because I couldn't go to sleep so I was clueless on some things I was suppose to be doing.

"Yesterday because you said Miss Kierra had therapy today"

Kameron and Emani jumped startled at me pounding on the steering wheel and cursing out loud, it was way past 2:30 meaning I had missed Kierra's first therapy session.

"Fuck, fuck fuck!"

"Dad what's wrong?" I heard a knock at my window and I looked over to see my sister.

"Yo I forgot to go to Kierra's therapy session"

"Nipppppp" Samantha whined " You look tired, you been sleeping?"

"I got shit to do sleep the last thing on my mind right now"

"Mani, Kam ya'll come with me" They got out the car to go to Samantha's car.

"Go home and sleep, you can't get nothing done right when you haven't slept Nip, I'll go check on Kierra and let her know"

I shook my head I didn't need my sister helping me out, this was an honest mistake and I was okay with calling Kierra up to let her know.

"I'm gonna call her right now and then I'll go home and get some sleep"

"Please do, I'll see you later"

I pulled out my phone to facetime her to see her reaction to me not showing up, I knew my wife wasn't going to be too happy with me.

"Hey baby" Kierra frowned her chin with a big ass bandage and her shoulder had a dark ass bruise " FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU!?"

"You would know if you had showed up to my therapy session Ermias"

"Baby my bad I got a lot of shit going on" She laughed shaking her head " Key I'm tryna tend to business, get your art show set up, get the house you want and get the cops arrested, I'm stretching myself"

"Did I ask you to do any of those things for me? I don't want to sound ungrateful but I rather you show up for me and support me during hard days"

"You want this art show? I have to do this, you want this house? I gotta do it Key"

"I would take just moving into your house that you already have and I could hire someone to handle preparing my art show with the money I saved up if that means you will be here for me more"

"All you need to do is focus on therapy and let me handle the hard work"

Kierra twisted her mouth nodding, I could tell what I said had hit a nerve.

"You know I didn't mean it like that Key, I know how bad you want to be back to yourself and I'm just trying to help"

"Because the girl in the wheelchair can't do hard work right?"

"Babe please you know I'm not trying to say that, I just don't want you to be overwhelmed with everything"

"So you overwhelm and over work yourself and do stuff to keep you away from me when I need you the most?"

Truth be told that morning still was haunting me and I tried to drown myself in work to keep it off my mind, it was selfish as fuck to stay away from my wife just because of some memory I hated reliving.

"I will shut everything down for you, just say the word"

"I'm not saying shut everything down all I need from you is to be there for me every once in a while" I felt bad as fuck my own wife had to ask for a little time with me and whether she wanted it or not I was gonna shut my schedule down to support her like I said I would.

"I got you"