I needed to finish up the little bit of work I had left at my stores before I took my leave to support and take care of my wife.

"We need some sort of strong adhesive to hold up her artwork on the wall but not damage the wall at the same time"

I did promise my wife I would be there for her and I just needed to make final business decisions and check up on her case before I handed it over to someone else.

" You can also try out easels to set them up on so you don't even have to hang them on the wall" Sammy suggested sitting in the conference room.

"How much they run for?"

" Between ten to a hundred dollars"

"I like that idea look into some of those things for me"

This was the first time I truly sat in the conference room since Kierra's incident, my eyes set on the spot in the corner where I found her, although the blood had been cleaned up the mental memory of it was still there.

"You heard me?" I finally broke my trance looking to my sister.

"Nah repeat it again"

"You've been out of it Nip, what is going on with you?"

"Just got a lot on my plate and my mind"

Right now I should have been with my wife but I was too busy trying to avoid her.

"What is it really?" Sammy pressed me to give out the real reason why I was spaced out.

"I can't see her like that"

"Like what in a wheelchair?"

I looked away in shame, it was selfish of me to avoid my wife because of my own personal feelings.

"Really? so you telling me you spoke vows for better or for worse , through sickness and in health and you dodging your responsibilities?"

"I can't get that morning out of my fucking head, I feel guilty as fuck"

I allowed Kierra to constantly come in early mornings by herself to work instead of setting rules on her only working when the store was opened up and I was there.

"Guilty about what? not being there for her?"

"Yeah, I shouldn't have let her always come here that early with no security or nobody with her for protection"

"How were you suppose to know this would happen?"

"I should have made sure she was safe all the time that's my fucking job as a man and husband and I didn't show up for her"

"Why not kill that guilt with doing all you can do now to support and protect her?" I shook my head tapping my pen against the table.

"I got shit to do before I can give her all my time"

"Fucking excuses, this ain't just some girl you dating this is your wife"

"I know that shit I'm trying to get her some justice, run my stores and take care of the kids all at once"

Sammy pushed her chair back roughly standing up snatching her laptop off the table along with her purse.

"That's some real selfish shit! Just know she wouldn't be in this predicament if she didn't jump in to save not only her son but you and your daughter and you wouldn't be here doing all this if it wasn't for her"

"Sammy, yo where you going? We not done with this meeting"

"I'm going to be with my sister in law where your ass should be"

I clenched my jaw tossing the pen on the table leaning back in my chair. I missed Kierra and it was my own fault that I did.

: Second day in a row you didn't show up for me, real husband like Ermias.

It was no more excuses my wife deserved to be supported, loved and cared for during such a vulnerable time and my feelings weren't important.

"Blacc I'm done, all the stores in your hands I need time off for Key"

"You know I got you"

We hugged and dapped, I gathered up my laptop and bookbag to head to the hospital to see Kierra and show her I was by her side and her support system.

"Can I speak with you for a moment?" I could hear the nurse ask whoever it was outside my door before entering about what happened to me earlier.

"Is something wrong?"

I turned over as much as I could on my side to turn away from the door hearing Samantha's voice reply to my nurse.

Today had been such a disaster in therapy and I felt like I would never get back on my feet, all I wanted was the support from my husband not just from his family.

"Kierra became upset today after her physical therapy session, we left her alone after lunch to get privacy and came back to check on her and her hair was all cut off"

"What! by who?" Samantha voice screeched pushing open my door marching in, my hair was now hidden under a scarf from my bag that also held my scissors.

"I did it myself"

Replying solemnly I removed the satin purple head scarf revealing the choppy ass haircut I had given myself after having a mental breakdown.

"Don't even worry Key, I got a home girl who can come and hook you up"

"I don't have hair for her to really work with now" I rubbed my uneven hair uncomfortably, what seemed like a good decision I was now regretting.

"She grips scalp so she can braid anything and hook you up with a good weave" Samantha looked around the room her eyes landing on my bag " For now I'm confiscating these scissors, Brittney Spears"

That made me laugh and lightened my mood, ashamed that I had pulled this stunt as a cry for attention from Ermias.

"I did all of this just to get your brother here" I scoffed bitterly looking off to the window, I had his family visiting me instead of my own and I barely got time to see my son because he was with my mother.

"You don't have to explain, I'm just as upset over this as you are"

" I really am grateful for everything he's doing and trying to do for me but I would trade all of that just to have him here with me"

I looked pathetic begging for my husband time and doing childish things like cutting off my hair just to get him here.

" I'm texting my home girl now, she should be here shortly"

"Thank you, you always looking out for me" Samantha pulled up a chair beside my bed taking her shoes off and putting her feet up on the bed.

"That's what a sister in law is for"

I sat staring at my chair by my bed for when I needed to get up and use the bathroom, no one really understood how having to be confined to a chair really fucked up your confidence.

"He's avoiding me isn't he?" Samantha kept her eyes up at the television taking a moment to reply.

"Nip is having his own personal battle nothing to really do with you being like this"

"Personal battle? We are married his battles should be our battles"

"Clearly my brother needs some lessons on what a marriage is" I felt like his absence was apart of the reason why I failed so much in therapy, I didn't have him there cheering me on and loving on me like I expected him to.

"Right"

I didn't want to bad mouth my husband to his family, if he couldn't show up for me I needed to show up for myself because me walking wasn't for everybody else it's for me.

"Sammy, someone named Tatum is here" Security peaked into the room holding the earpiece in his ear.

"Let her up that's the hair stylist"

I watched the woman walk in with the prettiest smile and curly blonde hair along with a big bag.

"I'm so happy I get to finally meet you, Nip has spoke so highly of you and you are as beautiful as he says you are, I'm Tatum Nipsey's braider"

If I wasn't upset from his absence I would have smiled or even blushed about him talking about me. I shook her hand lightly.

"Nice to meet you and I hope you can fix my hair I really fucked it up"

"I can grip scalp, you have nothing to worry about, I will have you hooked up in no time"

"You want me to help you into the chair?" Sammy asked, things like this really messed with my self esteem.

The stuff I was used to doing on my own was now things I had to be dependent on others for and it was tough having to wait on others to do simple ass task for me.

"Yeah sure" I mumbled letting her assist me into the wheel chair provided by the hospital, she rolled me into the middle of the room putting the locks on the wheels.

"Let me wash my hands first and then I will get started on what you want done"

Tatum walked to the bathroom to wash her hands and I checked my phone yet again for a text from my neglectful husband.

" Do you have an idea of what you want? I have bundles in my bag and I have a few lace fronts to choose from"

" I want a blunt cut bob"

"That's definitely doable, you just want the basic dark brown hair or do you want color?"

"Just dark brown is fine"

: My bad about missing out on another day of therapy I was getting shit done for me and you, how did it go?

His bad? that's all he had for me was it was his bad and a poor excuse of why he couldn't take an hour out of his busy ass day for his own wife, I sucked my teeth typing hard into my phone.

: You wanna know how shit goes with me than your ass should be here to see wassup, not sending a text with a lame ass excuse.

I didn't need to be up under him all day, I just needed him to set aside time for me regardless of how busy he was I was his wife and I should be as equally as important as his work.

: I'm out here busting my ass to make sure I put away the cop that did this to you, close on the house you want and run all my stores all by myself, I apologize for me not being there but this shit I'm doing is for you.

I didn't want to come off as ungrateful for everything he was doing but I needed him through this process and I thought he would understand that.

: Then don't bother to come around you focus on your stores and everything else the last thing I want to do is stress you out.

Frustration was taking over and after my hair was done I just wanted to be left alone to sulk, was it bad I wanted my husband around? was I being too clingy and needy?

: You mean the world to me and you know I want to be around you I'm just trying to handle this stuff first.

: You don't want to come around because I'm in a wheel chair just admit it, I told you before that you could go ahead and find somebody else because I knew this was exactly how you were going to act about me not being able to walk.

I clenched my jaw to fight crying while Tatum was doing my hair, placing my phone on do not disturb I turned it upside down in my lap.

"Everything good?" Sammy asked sensing my mood change, I shook my head deciding to keep my complaints to myself.

I just wanted to be loved on and babied by my husband when things went wrong for me, was that too much to ask for? was I asking too much of him?

Fuck that, if he was ready to become a husband then he was ready to take on the responsibilities of being a husband and if he can't change his selfish ass way of thinking my ass would be back to Kierra London and strictly his employee.