《The Difference Between Getting and Needing》f o r t y - s e v e n
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'cause look how far we came,
i know we'll be o k a y
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PLEASE tell me you found a dress you liked on your own!! Obvi we have different styles but I sent you 13 links last night and you never answered me. Today marks ONE MONTH until the big day so you HAVE to find something to wear ASAP!!! Call me later and we'll figure it out!! xo
The text from my sister popped up on my phone at the ten-minute mark until the end of my workday. True to her form, it was filled with an excessive amount of exclamation points and some random words in all caps to further prove her excitement.
I could've responded by saying I would call her as soon as I got home. Instead, like a bitch, I waited for the screen to dim and left her message unread. All I wanted was to leave the office and go right to my weekly dinner with Collin. A draining phone call with Sutton wasn't on my schedule because knowing her, it wouldn't be a quick conversation, nor would it be easy.
She had been on my ass every single day about not having picked out a wedding dress. It was the last thing we needed to do before "the big day" and since it was only a month away at this point, I needed to come up with something fast.
To be fair, I was just as stressed about it as Sutton but clearly I didn't show my emotions in the same ways that she did. I think I was so stressed that I catapulted myself to the point of not caring, which was a bad habit of mine. Then again, I never knew what to wear for anything so this wasn't a totally unusual scenario for me. I supposed my belated wedding dress should have been an exception.
It wasn't. I was back on my Bayla bullshit and my sister tried everything in her power to stop it. She'd been calling and texting me so much that I was a fraction of a second away from blocking her, though it'd be pointless since she'd go to the ends of the earth to get in contact with me. Even if that meant writing a letter by hand and having a pigeon drop it off at my window.
She could accomplish a lot, I'd admit, but there was one thing that even the great Sutton Makana couldn't do. This particular dilemma required a different kind of reinforcement, some courage on my behalf, and some wise advice from the only person that could help me out.
"Hey, Nad?" I called out to my coworker, who was packing up her things for the day on the other side of the room.
"Huh?" She grunted for a response, not bothering to look away from her overstuffed tote bag on her lap.
"Do you think it'd be weird if I invited Donatella to my wedding?" I came right out with the million dollar question.
Her dark topknot bobbed with the jerky movement of her head as her sharp green gaze latched onto me. "This is random," she stated.
"I know," I sighed, dropping my elbows on my desk so I could prop my chin up with my hands. "I've been going back and forth about this for days. It's a month away at this point and if I'm gonna do it, I have to do it now. What do you think?"
She hummed in thought and digested my question. If there was one person in this world besides Collin that could give me the best guidance, there was no doubt it was Nadia. Especially when it was anything regarding our wild card of a boss.
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"Well, in one way, it could be overstepping a boundary line because she is our boss," she said honestly, and I nodded. Her own head tilted to one side and she scrunched her face in disagreement with the point she just made. "But also, it's Donatella. She's not a normal boss. We know more about her than some of her family members, so I don't think it'd be weird."
"Would you invite her to yours?" I asked then to change up the scenario.
"Considering I don't know when that'll be..." she grumbled, making me roll my eyes. Her distrust in Jeremiah wanting to marry her was so infuriating. After mulling over it, she concluded with a firm nod, "Yes, I would. If anything, she'll be flattered that you invited her and are showing that you'd want her there. She might not even say yes, but I think it's worth a shot for you to ask."
I flattened my lips and I knew she was right. "True. I guess I'd rather her say no than not say anything at all."
"Exactly. Let her decide what she wants to do and go from there. It can't hurt."
"Okay."
I said it, but I didn't make a move. My ass was glued to my rolling chair as if this conversation didn't just happen. The seconds ticked by until it was time for us to clock out and head home.
At my reluctance, Nadia muttered something to herself with a shake of her head, then she popped up from her seat and charged towards me. Before I could argue, her dainty hands snatched the phone off its receiver on my desk, pressed 1, and waited for a moment while it rang.
"Donatella, do you have a moment to chat?" She crooned into the mouthpiece in an attempt at mimicking my customer service voice.
"I hate you," I hissed.
She waved off my complaint as she listened closely to our boss's response, and a smile spread across her face. "Thanks! I'll be in shortly."
"Wow," I said in awe after she hung up the phone. "You do sound just like me."
"You're welcome," she spat. As she rounded my desk, I barely had enough time to register what was happening. With every ounce of strength she had, she plucked me out of my chair and dragged me over to the frosted glass doors that led to Donatella. "Go. Now. Do it," she barked, shoving me so hard that I stumbled over my own feet.
I sent her a death glare over my shoulder. She just shooed me away.
"Fine. I'll see you tomorrow," I huffed.
"Good luck!" She chirped with a promising grin.
I let myself have one last deep breath, then squared my shoulders and pushed on the swirly bronze door handles. While I made the trek to Donatella's office, the only sound to be heard was the soles of my sneakers padding against the floor. The quiet narrow hallway was at its usual arctic temperature, as uninviting as always.
Her office itself wasn't much better. I never understood how she didn't freeze her ass off every day, but I guessed she had enough espresso running through her veins to keep her warm.
When I stepped into her carpeted sanctum, Donatella was standing by the floor-to-ceiling windows, the late afternoon sun soaking the room in light and making it feel a little warmer than it actually was. Her back was to me as she gazed at the hectic city below us like a queen watching over her kingdom.
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All of the variously sized mannequins and dress forms lined up along the windows were naked. She still hadn't turned around at my presence and the longer I stood there, the more I assumed I interrupted something important. Whether she was on the brink of a new design or simply having some "me time", I didn't want to butt in on any of it.
The debate I was having inside my head about slowly backing up to make a silent exit came to an end when Donatella twirled around to face me. Her pin straight hair parted precisely in the middle spilled down her back like a jet black veil, making her resemble a young Cher. She had the closet and lack of wrinkles to pull it off, too.
"Bayla," she addressed me. "You wanted to chat?"
Because I still hadn't mastered the art of communication, I gave her an aggressive nod for an answer. She calmly gestured towards her desk with an outstretched arm for a reponse.
I crossed the room and waited for her to take her place in her leather throne behind the desk before I sunk into one of the chairs opposite of her. Perhaps she was waiting for me to start this conversation since it was my idea, but I was coming up blank. From the perplexed look that twisted her face, I could tell she was just as confused as I was.
Usually I couldn't keep my mouth shut when I needed to. Now I was having the opposite problem. I couldn't open my mouth.
Why can't I speak like a normal human being?
"Is everything alright?" Donatella asked me in a cautious tone.
"Oh yeah. Everything is fine," I answered immediately, not wanting her to worry. "It's just... um. Well, my wedding is in a month and–"
"Do you have a dress for this?" She cut me off with an obvious peak of interest.
My mouth was hanging open, wondering where the second half of my sentence was going. Whatever I was going to say, it became pointless. We were onto a different topic now.
I rerouted to follow her lead and said, "No, actually I don't. That's kind of the last thing I have to do. I know I have to figure it out soon, but I'm not too worried. My main priority is that I just wanna celebrate with everyone I love."
I silently added on that includes you as my sly way of inviting her to see if she'd take the bait.
She didn't.
I knew Donatella was a brick wall when it came to sentiments. She never let her guard slip to show any sign of emotion, much like myself, although recently it had been getting harder to do. Now, she made me look like a stick of butter left outside on a table during a heat wave.
All I got was a slow nod. Her eyes dropped to the open binder on her desk, narrowing in contemplation. It was so damn quiet that the only thing I could hear was the ringing in my ears.
"I'd be more than happy to make something up for you, if you'd like."
For a second, I thought that maybe I lost consciousness and made it up. I had an out-of-body experience and just imagined this whole encounter with Donatella. I was watching myself from above and dreaming up the idea that my boss would design a wedding dress for my dumb ass.
When one of Donatella's eyebrows flicked up at me, it triggered my extremely delayed and dull reaction she had been waiting for.
"Are you..." I trailed off, slightly shocked at myself for being able to speak. I cleared my throat before I tried again. "Are you saying you would make me a wedding dress?"
"Yes." She sounded concerned for me; rightfully so because that was an idiotic question on my part. Of course that was what she meant. "Consider it my wedding gift to you. I'm not Wang or McQueen, but we can work on it together. We'll make it whatever you want it to be."
My straggling brain was spinning at a hundred miles an hour. "I-I don't know what to say," I stammered, although in my head I was screaming like Mrs. Monahan had when she found out Gus and I were married. Since I couldn't just say thank you, I had to ask, "Don't you have your hands full with the spring collection right now?"
It was a pretty crucial question. Fashion Week was creeping its way towards us and all summer long, Donatella's studio had been in a state of pure turmoil. The collection was called "Exposed" and each piece was made in a different shade of nude to match every model's skin tone she casted to walk the runway – from the lightest alabaster to the deepest cocoa. It was brilliant, from the little tidbits I'd seen so far.
We were in the home stretch, but our work was nowhere near done. As soon as I'd get home from the honeymoon, I'd be flying out to Italy with Donatella and Nadia for the biannual Milan trip they always took to prep for Fashion Week. We'd be there for a majority of August, come home for a couple of weeks, and then head back for the actual week of the show which wasn't until the end of September. It felt farther out than it really was, but I knew it'd be here before we could blink.
Basically, the next few months were going to be busy as fuck and I doubted making a wedding dress from scratch on top of it all was going to make Donatella's life any easier. She seemed to think otherwise.
She shrugged one of her slender shoulders. "What's one more dress?"
I had no business challenging her. The woman worked in mysterious ways and I knew she'd get it done.
"Thank you," I finally rasped out the two words I needed to say from the start, gratitude clogging my throat. "I know this is kind of late notice, but I'd love it if you could be there to see me wear it."
It was the perfect setup. I could tell by the way her lips twitched that she wanted to smile, but she was doing everything in her power not to. Even if I didn't get a smile, the blinding glint of honor that passed through her dark brown gaze was all I needed.
"I'll have to think about it. Send me the details and I'll be in touch," she explained, her eyes no longer meeting mine. I barely recognized her voice from how much it had softened, though it returned back to its normal thunderous volume when she spoke up again. "We'll start on the dress tomorrow. We've only got a month. Time is of the essence."
"I'm looking forward to it," I said with an eager grin that I couldn't hide any longer.
She nodded as my dismissal, and we wished for each other to have a good night before I practically galloped out of her office. Since it was already after four o'clock, Nadia was gone from our desk area, but I needed to tell someone about this news that I still couldn't even believe myself.
After I gathered up my belongings and got into the elevator, I typed and retyped a vague text to my sister just to get her off my case for the time being. By the time I got to the lobby, I came up with a curt message.
i found a dress but i'm heading to dinner with collin so i can't talk. i'll text you later!!
It was the truth, though I should have known that just those first four words would send her into her usual frenzied state. The texts flooded my phone as soon as she read it, each one coming in faster than the last.
ARE YOU KIDDING????
Where?! How!! When!??! What the fuck
This is bullshit. Drop what you're doing. I'm calling you bc we need to talk about this right NOW!!!!
And talk about it we did. For an hour on speakerphone over my first drink at Cruiser's with Collin. I had to tell her my phone was going to die before I hung up on her. She didn't believe me, but at least she waited until I got home after dinner to call me again and talk my ear off for two more hours.
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- well uh... hello there. i'm cringing as i type this 1. because of how long it's been since i last updated and 2. because of how lousy this chapter is. i feel like a broken record saying this but damnit I MISSED YOU GUYS!!! if you forgot about me + this story, i don't blame you.
it's been some time since we last spoke. being back at work has truly turned my life upside down again. i just cannot believe how long it took me to write this piece of trash chapter lol. i was so far past the point of unmotivated idek what you could call it. it's not great by any means but hey at least i got something done!!! i also think a huge selfish part of me doesn't want this story to end and the fact that there's only 3 chapters left is making me Super Duper Sad!!! but it's fine ok everything is fine we're doing great.
sorry that i made y'all wait this long for a damn filler chapter but it's just how it happened unfortunately. the next (and last UGH) 3 chapters will be a lot more exciting and action packed so i think that will make up for it, let's just hope it doesn't take me 10 months to write them :) ideally i'd like to finish this story before november aka the 2 year anniversary of when i posted chapter 1 but who tf knows at this rate!! we're just flying by the seats of our pants here.
alright i don't wanna keep on rambling and saying the same stuff over and over but seriously if you're still here after all this time... i appreciate the hell out of you. i hope you're doing well. thank you SO MUCH for sticking by me and for reading and supporting and being the best. i love ya lots!!!!
xoxo, sabbbycat
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