Today is a day that I have been dreading for months, a day that most kids look forward to in their lives. It's my seventeenth birthday.

It sure does not feel like my birthday. I feel lousy, a dull ache throbbing in my wrists from what I did to them last night, and the same pain is pounding throughout my skull, like a hangover. Spending my whole entire day cooped up in my room does not sound like too much fun, so I go into work. It might do me some good to see Jason and talk to him.

"What's with the long sleeves?" Haley asks me upon my arrival, gesturing to my clothes. I am wearing a black long sleeved shirt with my Deadpool t-shirt over it. The purpose of the long sleeves is to hide the bandages on my wrists, but I will not tell this to her.

"I'm kinda chilly," I reply, shrugging as I put my apron over my head and go around the counter, absently wondering where Jason is. Usually he is here by now, awaiting my arrival, but today he is late. It's already almost noon. "Where's Jason?" I ask, to no one in particular. Haley and Emily exchange worried glances, and my stomach flips. Did something happen to Jason?

"He had some things to do," says Gary as he comes out of the kitchen, and I am surprised that he heard us from back there. "He'll be in later." I lower my eyebrows for a moment, about to press further, but decide against it. If I needed to know something, Gary would have told me already. So I stay silent, shrugging as I push the thought to the back of my mind and start waiting on tables.

The day somehow zooms by, and soon enough, I am home again.

Home.

I have not yet thought of the Padalecki household as my home— though it technically is— since I will most likely leave right after I finish my senior year. I do not want to be there longer than necessary, for their sake, not mine. I am sure that it will be better if I get a place of my own as soon as I can afford one; I already have quite a bit of bread saved up, and I keep it in my bank account so I don't spend it on unnecessary things that I don't need.

Just when I think I am lucky enough to have gone the whole day with no casualties, I hear a vehicle pull in the driveway, the sound of the engine all too familiar to my ears. Gen and I are washing the dishes, something that we have now done together almost every night since I have lived here. After the engine dies, the door bell rings.

"I'll get that," I say, drying my hands. Jared is upstairs saying goodnight to Thomas and Shep, so he is not going to answer it. I recognized the sound of the engine, so maybe I know who it is. I leave the kitchen, wiping my hands on my pants, as I did not dry them good enough before. When I open the door and see who is on the other side, my eyes widen. "What are you doing here?" I ask, trying to keep my voice quiet.

"I told you I was coming today," Mason replies, her voice giddy and a bright smile on her face. The look on my face is the exact opposite, probably. I do not recall hearing her say anything about coming here on my birthday, or maybe she did, I just forgot. "Come on, I couldn't miss my best friend's birthday!" She exclaims, then looks behind her, the edges of her lips turning up even more. "Plus, I brought your truck." I step outside, seeing that yes, she did bring my truck down here.

I gape at my gorgeous dodge, my eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. I have not seen my truck in over a month, and man have I missed driving it.

"Baby," I say quietly, stepping towards it and setting my hand on the driver's door. When I look in the back, I see Teresa curled up in a ball, sound asleep. "Why is she here?" I ask in my normal voice. The smile drops a little, barely enough for me to notice it, but I do. I furrow my eyebrows.

"She wanted to see you," Mason replies, her voice sounding broken this time. "Charlie, there's something going on with her." She's quiet now, and I remember that time I called Teresa and she told me about her problem. Well, she told me that she had a problem, but she did not tell me what it was. I guess she told her sister, and she is not taking it too well. "The other night, she..." her voice trails off, and she puts her finger against her wrist and slides it across.

A lump forms in my throat. Teresa self-harmed. What if she has been doing this for a while? What if she turns out like me?

"Did you talk to her about it?" I ask, not sure of what else to say. Mason nods, and when she speaks again, her voice is cracked, and I notice her eyes are starting to water up.

"A little," she says. "She said she had never done that before, but she was thinking about it for a while. Said she doesn't feel good enough, like she shouldn't be here—" Mason stops talking and looks at the ground, covering her mouth with her hand and holding back a sob. I inhale deeply and also look at the ground, suddenly realizing that Teresa and I have the same problem. "Am I a bad sister?" Mason asks, looking back up at me, a tear streaked down her face. I furrow my eyebrows.

"No," I reply, immediately, and not just because it's the right thing to say. Mason is really good to her little sister; she is not a total bitch like some other big sisters are. She always listens in on Teresa's problems and tries to help out as much as she can. She is a really good sister. However, she clearly does not believe this, because she sniffles and another tear runs down her face. I take a step forward. "Look, Mason, this is not your fault, okay? You treat her really good. If she's acting like this, it's probably an internal problem." Mason tilts her head to the side in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Some kids question their worth," I try to explain. "Some, more than others. Maybe she got picked on a while ago, and now she's expecting everyone to treat her that way." She raises an eyebrow. "What? Some kids are like that. The most you can do is assure her that she isn't a burden and make her feel like she's worth it." I expect her to question this, but she doesn't, just nods. We stand in silence, before I notice Jared standing in the doorway. "Jared, this is Mason." She turns around, a smile crossing her features again as she sees her idol standing in the doorway. "She's a big fan," I add, earning a glare from Mason.

We retire to the house, and I show Mason around, watching her eyes widen at how big my room is and the fact that I have my own bathroom. She asks a lot of questions, like how do I like it here, have I made any friends yet, did I tell them I watch the show, etc. I explain everything to her in detail, but before I can answer much, Gen calls for me from downstairs.

"Charlie! Your boyfriend's here!" I roll my eyes, but brush it off. I have no idea where Jason and I are, but I am pretty sure that we are not a 'thing'. Mason widens her eyes and grins.

"You have a boyfriend?" She asks in shock. "Okay, who are you and what have you done with Charlie?" Again, I roll my eyes and head downstairs, my friend following behind me. I know she is just teasing, but sometimes she can be kind of annoying.

"Hey," I say, smiling a real smile for the very first time today as I step downstairs and see Jason standing there, talking to Jared. "Where were you today?" Mason gapes at him, clearly astonished that he is my 'boyfriend'. I have not even told her about him, so she will most likely have many questions for me later.

"I had to go to my grandma's with my mom," he says, and Mason nudges me with her elbow, giggling a little.

"He's British," she whispers, and Jason arches an eyebrow in curiosity. I laugh at Mason's schoolgirl behavior.

"Jason, this is my friend Mason Greene," the grin widens on her face and she blushes as Jason returns it. I roll my eyes, but there is a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. "What are you doing here? It's getting late." Checking my watch, I realize that it is getting kind of late, already almost ten. He looks at the ground, tapping the floor with his shoe.

"Gary said you missed me today," he says quietly. I look around, noticing that Jared and Gen have left the room. I smile shyly, looking at the ground. "So I thought I should do something about that."

"Aw," Mason coos, but I'm too busy staring at Jason to care. He is wearing a blue t-shirt with dark jeans, along with green sneakers. His hair is swept back, like it always is, with a pleasing amount of gel in it. "What, did you leave her present in your car?" Mason asks, smiling, and the smile drops from my face. Jason gives me a confused look.

"Present?" He asks Mason, and I turn to give her a glare. She catches on, and raises her eyebrows. I take a deep breath, hoping he doesn't catch on. Mason shrugs, putting her hands up in surrender.

"What, how was I supposed to know you wouldn't tell him when your birthday is?" I continue to glare at her, and Jason touches my shoulder, turning me towards him.

"It's your birthday?" He asks, and I nod. "Why didn't you tell me?" I scoff.

"I'm getting older, it's nothing to celebrate," I remark, being truly honest. I have never really celebrated my birthdays, except for the first four years of my life, when my dad was around. After that, my mom just gave me some money every year and that was it. She never really made a big thing about it, and I never really cared much, either. "And I don't need you to get me anything. The fact that you're here is enough." He smiles, blushing a little again. Mason stifles a laugh, earning yet another glare from me. This successfully shuts her up, and she excuses herself to go outside and wake her sister up.

"She's...different," Jason comments as Mason disappears from our sight. I sigh, knowing that there's something he does not like about Mason.

"I know she can be a little...forward, but she means well," I explain. "She's always been there for me; she's a great friend." Jason steps forward, gazing into my eyes with a hint of something new and unfamiliar, and seeming to have forgotten about my friend and her sister outside.

"So, what do you want for your birthday?" He asks, his voice quieter and slightly deeper than usual. I raise my eyebrows a little, my gaze flickering down to his lips before meeting his eyes again. He is closer than he was just few moments ago, so close that I can almost feel his breath. He lifts his hand and brushes a strand of hair out of my face, behind my ear, before resting his hand against my cheek and leaning closer.

"Look who's up!" Mason says, jolting us out of our little moment. We both jump in surprise, pulling away from each other and looking at the doorway, to see Mason there, now with Teresa. I give her a small smile, and she yawns as she rubs her eyes tiredly. "If you'll excuse us, we're gonna steal your room for the night. You're cool with crashing on the couch, right?" Mason says, and I roll my eyes as she walks away before I have time to answer.

Now, some people think that Mason is a real jerk, and that may be true some of the time, but not always. She cares deeply about her friends— she just has a strange way of showing it. If I did not have GAD, I would probably like her twice as much as I do now, because then I would not overthink every damn thing she says.

"Teresa," I say, stopping the twelve year old on her way up the stairs. "There's a present for you in the top drawer of my desk." She hesitates, then turns around and continues back up, much too tired to say anything. I grin and roll my eyes, realizing how much I missed her.

"I should probably take off, then, right?" Jason asks, causing my heart to drop to my stomach. The smile falls from my face, turning into a frown. "You were right, it is kind of late. Plus, you have them here now."

"But I just got my truck back," I protest. "You want to drive around for a while?"

* * *

"This is a really nice truck," Jason comments as I turn the radio down a little. "Looks expensive. Did your mum buy it for you?" I blink hard, trying not to doze off as I drive down the dirt road.

"We each paid half," I explain, stifling a yawn as I drive further down the boulevard. It's almost eleven already, I had not realized we were out this long. All we have been doing is driving and talking. Luckily, Mason took the liberty to fill my truck up just recently, so the tank is still three quarters of the way full.

"Do you want to go back?" Jason asks, taking note of how tired I am and how crappy I probably look. It is weird that I'm tired, since it's only not even eleven. Usually, I stay up half the night and I am not this sleepy. Maybe I'm more comfortable around Jason, less stressed out.

"Maybe we could just stop for a few minutes, huh?" My voice comes out a tad bit deeper than normal, which I hardly notice. Jason nods and shows me where to go. Up ahead, I pull into a small field and kill the engine. Feeling tried and loopy all of a sudden, I set my hands on the edge of the steering wheel and put my forehead against it, letting my eyes droop shut for a moment.

"Charlie?"

I build up enough strength and willpower to remove my head from the wheel and look at Jason. "I probably shouldn't drive anymore," I say, yawning again. Jason does not seem tired, he knows his way around here pretty well, and I trust him with my truck. "You remember the way back, right?" He laughs quietly, and I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "What's so funny?" He shakes his head.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes. "You're just really tired, and it's adorable." This time I cringe, not willing to believe that he thinks that. "Seriously." I shake my head, shifting in my seat, still unwilling to believe him. "Do you think I'm lying to you?" I nod, scoffing.

"I don't understand why you hang out with me," I admit, the drowsiness clouding my thoughts and mind making me less aware of what I am saying to him. "I mean, you could do so much better." I do not fully realize what I just admitted until I look at him, seeing his eyes containing a sad look, and a frown on his face.

"What?"

"I'm such a mess," I confess, but maybe he didn't hear that since my voice was barely above a whisper. I let my eyes fall shut and lean my head against the wheel again, yearning for sleep. When Jason says my name again, I hesitantly move my head away from the wheel, turning to look at him. I don't get much time to before he pushes his lips against mine, in a surprisingly tender kiss. He sets one hand on my hip, lacing his fingers through mine with the other, and I use my free hand to cup his cheek, bringing him closer to me. My thoughts blur, even more than they were before, as I get lost in the feeling of this, of him.

When he pulls away, I'm confused, and I'm sure my look says this. "You don't think you're good enough for me?" Jason asks. I tense up, swallowing and looking somewhere else. It's true; I'm not good enough for him, and I have known this since I met him. He is gorgeous and sweet and funny and smart, and he deserves someone who is not as damaged and insecure as me. Apparently, he can make out my answer from the following silence, because the look on his face gets even sadder. "Well, you are. You're beautiful, smart, funny, and unique, and I don't want anyone else."

Every compliment is like a tiny bullet. I cannot believe that he thinks this about me. He will most definitely change his mind when he sees the scars on my wrists. The ugly, pale scars.

"Okay?" Jason asks, in need of confirmation. At the needy look in his eyes, I nod, choosing to believe him for a few seconds. He sighs in relief, pulling me back towards him and kissing me again, still as sweet and soft as a minute ago. Except this time, he seems more desperate. He pulls me closer to him, and somehow I end up with my legs on either side of him.

When he slides his hand under my shirt, the realization hits me of just how fast this is going, and my breath catches in my throat. I pull away from him, blushing and slightly more awake now, and give him a look.

"We should probably head back now," I say, breathless and suddenly eager to get back home and away from him, from this awkward moment.

For now, I just want to sleep.