《Spice!》Chapter 16
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What's wrong with me?
Len swallowed, winding long green hair around his index finger as Miku slept next to him. On his bed.
He had looked through her phone, studying the way she messaged her brother, then sent her brother a text telling him that she would be staying over at Len's house tonight, she was just too tired to go home.
Her brother had replied to 'Miku' immediately, telling her to return home tomorrow early so she could prepare for school. It was obvious from his tone that he loved his sister, cared for her, and Len felt a sudden stab of envy.
Why can't I care for Miku like that?
He blinked and shook his head. Again, another errant thought that he normally wouldn't think. And always, always, these thoughts were about Miku.
About a girl he didn't even have the right to care about, not that way. But still, regardless, he cared, and he wondered why he even bothered.
Most of all, he wondered why he had asked her to stay. It was funny, the reversal of roles here - he was used to women asking, begging him to stay with them. He always refused. Yet here he was, doing the exact same thing as all those women had.
However, unlike him, Miku had agreed to stay. And he was thankful for that. Something inside him had cried out for her to stay with him, had screamed a denial when she rose to leave.
To leave. It made Len wonder - did she not like what they had done? Most women would linger, wanting more, but she wanted to leave. Like she couldn't stand him anymore.
Len gritted his teeth. That wasn't possible - she had cried out for more, had screamed his name. She had liked it, he was sure. So why didn't she want to stay?
Was there something about Len that she couldn't stand? Len worried a little.
No...I'm overthinking things. Anyway, she's here now, so let's not think too much about things.
With that final thought, Len lay down next to her, his arms wrapping around her waist as he buried his face in her sweet-smelling rose scented hair.
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Miku woke up from a nightmare, breathing hard. It was the same old nightmare, the nightmare about her ordeal so many years ago. The reason why she was so afraid to be alone after dark. She shivered. She could go to Mikuo's room, he would comfort her, he always did.
She felt like she was being cuddled, and then she remembered - she was sleeping with Len Kagamine. Her chest tightened as she thought that. Sleeping with Len Kagamine. Never, in her wildest fantasies, had she ever imagined that this might ever happen.
But it couldn't last. If she stayed with him, she knew that she was going to break her heart. He himself had admitted before that he couldn't like her that way - so why was she even trying? Why was she even hoping that he would ever like her? He never would.
Miku bit her lip to hold back a sob, her body shuddering. She couldn't help it. To her surprise, Len's arms tightened around her in response. Her eyes widened. ''Len?'' she whispered.
''I couldn't sleep,'' came the murmured reply. ''Are you scared of something?'' There was a slight pause. ''Are you scared of...me?''
There was a slight tremor in his voice. Miku shook her head. ''I...I had a nightmare,'' she admitted hesitantly. His breath washed against her ear, cinnamon-scented, and she inhaled.
''Tell me about it,'' he said softly. Miku figured that there wouldn't be any harm in telling him. Telling him might help her forget the nightmare, for tonight.
''When I was eight, I was abducted,'' her voice shook. ''Two men came and snatched me off the street. They wanted to sell me to a child trafficker, and they thought my...unique hair colour would fetch a higher price.''
Len listened to her, his arms wrapping tight around her waist. He pulled her a little closer to him, and she allowed him, grateful for the warmth his body provided.
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''I screamed a lot. They stuffed me inside the back of a car, and they drove me all the way to a remote area. They had to refill their gas tank, though, and I continued screaming though I was losing my voice. Someone at the gas station thought they looked suspicious, so they demanded they open the back for them to check. They had guns, so the kidnappers had to comply.'' She laughed bitterly.
''If it weren't for them, I'd probably be begging in the streets of India right now, or working as a prostitute in a brothel somewhere. I was rescued, they called my brother and parents, and they went to the gas station to take me home,'' she closed her eyes. Len ran his fingers through her hair, a comforting action.
''If I had listened to my parents about walking outside after dark...but I hadn't. I wanted to go for a walk, and then I was kidnapped.''
''Is that why you asked me to accompany you back home yesterday?'' Len asked, realisation hitting him. She nodded, and he turned her around to face him.
Slowly, he cupped her cheek, thumb caressing her skin. His eyes searched hers. ''I'm sorry for your ordeal.''
''Don't be,'' she sighed. ''You didn't even know me then. I was a rebellious child,'' she smiled faintly. ''I know better than to ignore my parents' warnings now.''
Len pulled her to him, holding her tight, and she smiled and sighed, feeling so...protected. She didn't know why, but the same person who would break her made her feel so very safe.
''Go to sleep, Miku,'' his voice was soft. ''Don't have any more bad dreams.''
His voice was the last thing she heard before she drifted off to sleep.
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Miku woke up again, this time of her own accord, not because of a nightmare. She glanced at the clock on Len's bedside table, and her eyes widened. It was an hour before school started - she had to go back home to change.
She shifted, trying to sit up, and Len's arms tightened around her, preventing her from leaving. Miku looked down, startled, but slowly she pried his arms loose from around her.
She didn't want to leave, but she had to. Not just because of school, but because of her sanity, her heart, as well. She didn't want to risk being hurt any more than she already had been, and if she left before Len woke up she might be able to forget everything that had happened.
Slowly, so she wouldn't make a sound, she dressed herself, then quietly she inched his bedroom door open. For a while, she stood at his open door, just watching him.
The faint rays of the sun shone on him. He wasn't just handsome - he could be classified as beautiful. Miku swallowed. ''Goodbye, Len,'' she whispered, then before she could change her mind she darted down the stairs and left the house.
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Len woke up to an empty bed. He sighed, knowing that this would happen, but the reality hit him hard. Which was strange, because normally he wouldn't care. At all.
Is this how all those women felt when I left them without saying goodbye? Unwanted, discarded, longing for what has been lost.
He pushed those thoughts away, confused. He loved Rin, not Miku, so why was she affecting his thoughts so badly?
Maybe it's time for me to be upfront to Rin about how I feel about her.
Yes, maybe it was time. Maybe that way, he could forget his impossible obsession with Miku Hatsune, with the girlfriend of one of his close friends. He didn't want to betray Gakupo any more than he already had.
Though the thought of Miku together with Gakupo still tore at him, inside.
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