Jimin sat tapping the nib of his pencil on the table in sync with his words as he read through his poem one last time before he could brew some tea for himself.

With each tap, the words gained more momentum both in meaning and the desired effect until at last, the poem ended with the most impactful line.

He was supposed to recite the poem in front of the whole class the next day and he was really proud of what he had come up with.

Deciding to sign up for poetry writing classes at the community college after graduation was so far his most favorite decision and the most helpful one too. He already had two self-published poem books but he still lacked a lot and knowing he could improve every day was what kept him going.

He stood up from his chair and stretched his arms above his head before walking around the table to put the kettle on.

While waiting for the water to boil, he took out his phone and opened the poetry webpage again to see if the girl had replied to his message but he knew he should just give up now that it had been three days since the night he found her profile.

But her comment was her last activity on the site according to her page, making Jimin think maybe she hadn't opened the page yet since that night.

But Jimin was still in shock at finding her page at all. Being the hopeless romantic that he was, he named it fate because it had no other explanation.

Or maybe it was an answer to all his prayers, asking for good inspiration and better work opportunities.

Either way, her profile had left a huge hole in his heart.

Her bio section had little to no information about her, no work email, and not even a name, so Jimin had labeled her as Lee.k in his head, the sound of Lee making him jittery for some reason.

Other than that, her writings section was cluttered with content. Too much for Jimin to read them all in just a few days but since the webpage allowed him to sort the writings according to the date they were posted, he found that she had been posting content for seven years now, while he had stumbled upon the page just a few months ago.

He skimmed through her old work and read a few of her most recent entries and he hadn't been the same since.

She had a good grasp on whatever this thing called writing was, and as it turned out, her grasp was so powerful that her words enveloped Jimin in their hold too.

He was hooked, her poetry wasn't just dipped in anguish but it seeped of it, making Jimin feel he had finally found something to feed well on with things he had been lacking in his own writing.

His favorite, for the time being, was something like a short story style prose that she had posted just a few minutes before her comment that night. It was titled The boy named moon and he still found himself repeating it to himself sometimes.

He was hooked.

His thumb instinctively clicked on it again and he sat down to read it one more time.

The boy named moon was nowhere to be seen

his dark taking up too much space in his too-large universe,

maybe if there were just a little less stars twinkling up there in his head

of promises he owned everyone, his dark wouldn't have been crammed all too

deep in the nooks of his throat, orbiting round n' round the words he spoke.

The boy named moon wrote up a path of flower beds for him to walk on, "silly little

thing, since when do moons walk?" I was named after the solar system and the boy

named moon laughed it off, "since when owning black holes was something to show off?"

Jimin's butterflies bounced again at reading the now all-too-familiar words but like every time, they sounded as if he had never read them before.

That was the thing with prose and poetry, it was the magic of being able to let readers see something different every time they read it and the endless possibilities of painting a different scenery every time in everyone's head with just a few strokes of words. It wasn't just beyond ordinary, it was magic itself.

It was what drove Jimin to take up writing in the first place when he was twelve and here he was, ten years later burning with passion and sleeping among the ashes of what he had brought unto himself.

"아이고, (My Goodness,) I am going crazy!" He yelled at his phone smiling widely but his smile faltered when he realized what he had just done.

Writing is doing this to me, he thought at the strange power mere words had over him. He was a goner for a good metaphor and by God if this Lee.k girl spoke the way she wrote, then he'd gladly throw away everything just to capture her between the pages of his notebook.

Kazimir stared at the box of prednisones and the immune suppressant drugs stared back at her in their neatly packed casing, mocking her for being so weak.

Her mind reeled back to the memory of when her doctor told her for the first time about the drugs five years ago and the conversation started playing in her head for the millionth time.

"They will suppress your immune system. You will not have a functioning healthy immune system when you swallow these.'"

"But what does that have to do with anything? I thought something was wrong with my joints?'"

"The thing is, your earlier diagnosis was misleading. We also thought it was the joints but that's not the case anymore. You have an autoimmune disorder. Your immune system is very strong but the wiring got mismatched. In other words, instead of attacking foreign threats and viruses, your immune system is attacking its own tissues. It started with the joints but it will progress to much more important organs like the skin, kidneys, lungs, eyes, and even the heart. You need to suppress your immune system before it destroys your whole body."

"But what does that even mean? I don't understand. Isn't there a cure or something?"

"You have two options. Either you start taking these pills and stay extra safe and don't let anything like the flu or fever get to you. Or you don't take the pills and let your immune system slowly take away your joints."

"So I am dying either way?"

"No. It won't kill you-'

Kazimir sometimes wished it did though. She had a little conversation crafted in her mind by herself between her doctor and herself which she liked better because it was what the doctor actually meant but never said.

"Congratulations. You don't have anything fatal like bone cancer. You won't die in the end."

"Really?"

" Well, you do have an autoimmune disorder which is chronic. That means it will stay with you forever. You will be in chronic pain which means you will not have even a single pain-free day for the rest of your life. The pain will be constant. You won't die in the end like cancer, but you will die little deaths every single day. So congratulations."

She played with the pills between her fingers now, feeling how light they were. She herself felt light in her baggy cargo pants and oversized shirt, her favorite attire after three days of nursing crucial battles against her own body. Now the rifles of her immune system were down, probably loading up on more ammunition to attack whenever they deemed fit but Kazimir was thankful for the cease-fire.

She stared at the pills some more. It had become some sort of ritual for her. Every time a flare-up occurred, she found herself face to face with the pills, thinking just how much more pain her body could endure before she caved in and swallowed the little coated poisons willingly.

On her good days, when she was fine and perfect and nothing seemed to be wrong with her, her mind tricked her into thinking maybe her bad days weren't as bad as they seemed and maybe she was just overreacting, maybe the bad days would never come back this time. And they never did for a few days or a week or a few weeks, or until she was convinced of her own self taught mantra that she was fine.

Then they struck. She was a broken clock, the seconds ticked on good days and ticktacktooed with her reality on dark days, the crosses never aligning in a row.

Now here she was, all the pain in her body dulled down to a rhythmic lullaby, rocking her back and forth between her fate and her reality.

The past three days were already a blur in her head, the encounter with Taehyung the only casualty playing on repeat in her head.

She was really close to downing a pill this time when the pain got unbearable but she made it through. Now in her staring battle with the drugs, she was smirking like a crazy person.

Better luck next time.

Naomi knocked on her open door to get her attention and Kazimir looked up.

"Mom wants us in the kitchen," she said, and before Kazimir could ask why, Naomi was already gone.

She got up throwing the box of pills on her bed and made her way to the kitchen where she found the whole family gathered around the table.

Shit.

Taehyung instinctively looked away but the rest didn't notice. Minho was busy lecturing Mr. Kim about something, Naomi was pouring tea for Mrs. Kim and Mrs. Kim was showing something to her on her phone.

Kazimir quietly made her way to where Mrs. Kim was and sat down on one of the chairs. It appeared to her like it was another family meeting and her heart sunk.

She wanted to make a lucky guess about what would it be about this time and her mind went back and forth between two options. Her and Taehyung's supposed engagement or her absence from all the meals in the past three days.

"Do you want me to pour you some tea?" Naomi asked her and she nodded leaning forward to take a look at Mrs. Kim's phone.

The browser was open on an airline page and Mrs. Kim was looking at tickets for Incheon Korea.

"Are we going back home?" Kazimir asked hugging her hands around the warm teacup that Naomi placed in front of her.

"Hopefully yes but there is a problem," Mrs. Kim said putting the phone down with an air of exhaustion enveloping her answer.

Kazimir's heart did a little happy jump knowing they would finally go back home but her smile faltered when everyone around her seemed to be giving her sympathetic looks except Taehyung who was dutifully ignoring her.

"What's the problem?" She asked looking at Minho knowing well that if she asked Mrs. Kim, Minho would interfere with the answer anyway.

"The problem is you," he said leaning forward and grabbing Mrs. Kim's phone. "We all have Korean passports and Naomi is registered as my wife so she has no issue as well, but your Czech passport is causing a bit of a problem."

"How come?" She questioned and Minho showed her something on the phone.

She read through what looked like an official government statement and her heart started hitting against her ribcage with force.

There had been a meeting between the Russian officials and the Korean officials a while ago to deal with some political issues but right after, some very crucial Korean information was leaked. As it turned out, the Korean government thought the Russian government had something to do with it and as a temporary remedy to sort the conflict of accusations, a research was made leading to believe that a Slovakian citizen was responsible. And now Czech people were not allowed inside Korea anymore.

"But I was born there, that's my home. How can they just say I am not allowed in my own country anymore?"

Mrs. Kim put her hand on her shoulder to calm her down but Kazimir was still finding it hard to stomach this new law.

"But mom was Korean-" she began and Minho cut her off.

"But she was married to a Czech, meaning her passport was useless as long as she was registered as his wife. Her Korean side was no longer valid."

"What does this even mean?" She demanded looking around the table at everyone including Taehyung because regardless of everything, he had always been someone to put things straight for her.

"It's just a matter of time," Mrs. Kim said looking from her to Minho, "Once she's officially married to Taehyung, the matter will get sorted out smoothly, right?"

Taehyung looked at his mom startled and Kazimir wanted to punch his face in.

Now's the time for you to speak up, she thought holding him in a stare, her attempts at ignoring him vanishing into thin air.

"But we don't have time." Naomi said running a hand over her slightly protruding belly, "I want our baby to be born in Incheon, not Prague." She said softly.

Kazimir slumped back to her chair and crossed her arms. Naomi was right. As much as the Czech Republic was a beautiful country to live in, it wasn't much friendlier to foreigners when it came to school and jobs. Her sister was just trying to think of what was best for the baby's future.

"Then you guys can go," Taehyung suggested gesturing towards Naomi and Minho, "I don't want to go back to Korea after graduation anyway. I have that..." He looked at Kazimir briefly swallowing visibly and Kazimir wondered what was it he wanted to say.

"I have that internship job in New York right after graduation." He finished quickly looking away from her.

"You got the job?" Kazimir asked surprised, unable to contain her happiness. Taehyung didn't just want that job, he was ready to get down on his knees and beg for that position if they rejected his application. But it looked like he got it and he didn't feel the need to inform her.

Taehyung didn't answer her but instead looked at Minho.

Minho didn't speak and looked at Naomi who in turn looked at Mrs. Kim.

"I don't know. I just don't want our family to break apart." She said softly.

"It won't." Taehyung assured her. "You guys can fly back to Incheon whenever you like. I'll stay here with Mir and then-"

"And then what? You would leave for NY and leave her alone?" Naomi interrupted him.

"What difference would it make? I can get a job-" Kazimir began but Naomi cut her off.

"You're sick Mir. I can't possibly leave you all alone in a country away from all of us not knowing what you're doing or how you're doing it."

"As if you know what I am doing or how I am doing it right now by being here." Kazimir snapped and Minho slapped his hand on the table startling everyone.

"Talk with respect," he warned.

Kazimir got up suddenly and started to leave.

"Where are you going?" Naomi asked her but Kazimir kept walking away without a word.

"I'll talk to her," Taehyung said and followed after her.

Minho sighed and grabbed Naomi's hand to hold it in his and looked at Mr. and Mrs. Kim.

"Do you think it was a smart thing to do? The engagement I mean?" He asked.

No one answered and everyone got lost in their own thoughts.

Taehyung found Kazimir on the rooftop scrolling through her phone.

The sun was about to set and the little fluffy clouds scattered around were bathed in streaks of purple, pink, and orange making the twilight worthy of a canvas.

Taehyung went to sit by her side and he grabbed both her wrists to get her attention and to make her face him but he sensed that the left wrist was a lot warmer than the right so he gently loosened his grip on it.

Kazimir noticed this little action and almost wanted to push him off the roof because how could he show care to such little things and not expect her to hold unto him.

He was familiar with her pain and she was ready to give up the world for familiarity rather than waiting for something as unknown as love.

"I am sorry about that night." He began and a twinge of guilt rang in his ear. He was too ashamed to even be in a position to be saying sorry for something so cruel. He knew he had crossed a very sensitive line.

"It was the truth so it doesn't matter," Kazimir said avoiding his eyes.

Taehyung's guilt bubble burst inside him and he couldn't contain the shame anymore. Breaking her was breaking him. He chose the wrong way to push her away and now regret was out of the question because the damage was done.

"I hurt you so it matters. I was too mad at something else and I took it out on you. I-"

"You were half asleep Tae. You weren't mad or anything. You knew what you were saying like you've been practicing it."

Taehyung didn't say anything. She was right after all. He stayed silent for a minute.

"Us can't work out, Mir. Please understand." He pleaded with her again.

Kazimir gave it some thought. She was tired and restless from everything and just didn't want to do anything at the moment. Not even think. But telling Taehyung that she wanted rest would not end well. Because Kazimir you are always tired.

"I just want to go home." She said instead, "Back to Incheon. Please don't take that away from me."

"I won't. I promise I will get you back home but not as Mrs.Kim. As Kazimir Lee. I promise."

Just like all the other promises you still owe me? She wondered.

Minho's voice interrupted their conversation as he shouted from inside.

"Kaz, Mrs. Yoojung is on the phone."