Bet money on it that this would all have been over, if Chris would have just did one thing. He's missing just one thing. For real though I don't know if I believe him, at this point in time what he says seems valid but he is a man. Men do this type of shit all the time, they lie so they can get us off their asses just so they can go out and do it again. Chris made his bed now he has to lie in it. Just because you tell me you didn't do it on purpose, doesn't really mean shit to me! Your dick tripped and found it's way into some other bitch, no matter how you think about it or try to convince me otherwise you did me wrong.

Real couples share honesty, they share trust, and they share respect. Chris fucked up all of those, real couples fight, they yell, and they scream. Without those common factors you really ain't shit, real couples cry, they're up and they're down. Real couples go from fighting to making love, headaches to smiles, and tears to kisses. Real couples make it through anything, but question is will we?

As for Ryan, I don't want to jump into anything at all. He's really sweet guy, he recites a verse to me from his favorite poets mostly there romantic ones. When he's not trying to be Casanova we have a real chill time together, he doesn't try anything with me and that's what I'm liking the most about him. If we get in those affectionate moods we kiss here and there, but nothing too much they're just quick pecks all from him.

His daughter does not like me anymore, when I'm there with Mijo we keep it completely respectful. Ryan and I don't kiss or nothing in front of them. But today I decided to leave Mijo home after I left work. I been noticing Kataleah pushing around my baby, I don't play that! Ain't like I can whip her cause if you put your paws on my baby, we fighting! So I removed Mijo from the situation.

"I forgot my wallet at the store, will you wait here?" Ryan asked scrambling around the living room.

"Sure, can you pick me up a Snicker ice cream bar? Here's the money." I asked handing him five dollars.

"Nah keep that, I got it!" Ryan walked out the door.

Kataleah left out her room and went into the freezer, getting out a tub of ice cream. "Sweetie, your daddy made dinner you can't eat that yet!"

"And who are you?"

"Excuse me Ms. Thing? Put that back now!"

She walked over to me. "No, you ain't running things here. I live here, you don't!"

"Who are you taking too?" I said getting up from the couch.

"You the only one I see?"

"Okay, I see you been deprived from spankings! Apologize to me, that's very rude and disrespectful of you to say."

"No !" Kataleah shouted kicking me in my leg. "Tell my daddy, I don't care! You're all he cares about now, he don't care about me." She ran into her room.

I had to go call in Jesus because I was two seconds from yolking her little ass up.

She laid on her bed face down, "Why don't you just pack my bags now? Send me to live with a different family."

"No one is going to do that, listen to me. I'm not in anyway shape or form taking your daddy from you he's my friend that's all. He loves you very much, he's just helping me through some things?"

"You're not going to live here?"

"Oh no, am I here too much?"

"A little," she sat up wiping her eyes.

I laughed. "I'll change that then, would you like to go out with me then next Saturday? We can get our nails done and eat ice cream, I need a little girls time what about you?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I guess so."

"It's a date, can I get an apology first?"

"I'm sorry Ms. Brielle, I didn't mean to kick you. Don't tell my daddy!"

"I won't, now please put back the ice cream."

Can't help but feel bad for the kid, when Saturday came I took her to get a manicure and pedicure. After ice cream we had fun at the Funplex, we got hungry so I went to the mall and ate in the food court.

"You like sushi?" I asked.

"Never had it before, what is it?"

"Raw fish!"

"Yuck!" She said making the cutest face.

I laughed. "It's good, here I promise try it."

She hesitated but ate it anyway. "It's okay, but I wouldn't eat it again."

I smiled. "More for me." I said eating an entire tray.

"I had fun today, my daddy tries things like this but it's not the same since he's a boy."

"Well whenever you want to hangout just call me and we can do anything you like."

"Like sleepovers?" Her face lit up.

"I don't know about all that, only if your daddy is comfortable with it."

"Yay! Ms. Brielle do you know how to braid?"

"Yeah and baby you don't have to call me Ms. Brielle, just Brielle is fine."

"Can you french braid my hair?"

I smiled, as I started to not feeling good. I think I ate too much sushi! "I kind of wish I had a daughter to braid her hair and dress up, she would be pretty like you."

"Why didn't you have one?"

I laughed. "It's not that simple, god created a boy for me so I was completely happy with that."

"What would you call her?"

"I would've loved to have a Kataleah myself, but now since I already know one. I need to change it, maybe Willow or Lyric or Tiana."

"I like Willow, it's cute."

"Me too, all finished."

I took her to the bathroom so she could look at it. "I love it, I wish I had a mommy to do this for me." she smiled

"Kataleah I need to get you home now, I don't feel good anymore."

Two weeks after I spent the day with Ryan's daughter I been throwing up, couldn't even go to work I was feeling too weak I ruled it as food poisoning. I hope I get better soon, I need to go make my money.

"Mommy I want to play, come on get up."

"Mijo stop it, I can't play with you I don't feel good."

"I don't care!"

"Boy go take a nap!" I said in a groggy tone trying to go back to sleep.

"Daddy would play with me!" He said pouting his lips.

"You wanna talk to him, will you take a nap then?"

Mijo brightened right up after I suggested that, I Face Timed Chris so he could see him.

"Daddy I want you to come play."

"I can't Mijo."

"Why not?"

"I have to talk to Mommy first, why isn't she playing with you?"

"She's been very sick forever now."

"Oh, is she okay?"

"She ate bad food, I told you about them vegetables daddy." Mijo said as we both laughed.

"Give mommy a kiss for me."

Mijo dropped the phone on the bed and kissed my check, then continued to talk to Chris. "Daddy come out the screen and play."

"Ask Mommy if it's okay for me to come over for a few."

I didn't want him to come over but my father isn't home and I don't feel good, besides Mijo needs something other than these four walls and my sick ass to look at. I figured it would be okay only for a little while.

"Hey, I brought you some soup and ginger ale." Chris said walking in my room, my body shook from a chill as he closed my door.

"Thanks put it on the dresser, my dad doesn't like you here. So stay up here with him just in case he comes home early, and don't talk to me about anything."

"Daddy, come on Tom and Jerry started!"

"We have to watch it up here, with mommy."

This is everything I miss right here, I'm been trying to get her to see that I've nothing wrong. Thinking about maybe if I just pull away and actually make everything about Mijo then I'll be giving her the time she needs to think about everything. I can't keep begging, last time I checked I wasn't a dog. But I just want everything back, when I look at our bed I get mad at myself knowing she's not going to be beside me keeping my warm. I have a hard time sleeping without her leg placed on mine, it's been practically a damn month and it's been really hard. Only good thing come out of this is I'm free from the lies and I wrote a shitload of songs.

"Tom is a bad cat!" Mijo laughed as I cradled him in my arms.

The urge to lay down next to Brielle was stronger than ever, Mijo fell asleep in my arms I didn't want to let him go. But I placed him down under the covers with Brielle, I wanted to caress her in my arms and kiss the back of her neck as we drift back in to sleep. Before I left I kissed Mijo on the forehead and took picture of them, it was kind of funny cause they laid in the same exact position hands, body posture, and everything. I posted it to Instagram and made sure I tagged her in it, I left a kiss on her cheek then left. Back into the empty house, nothing is the same without them. Before I went to bed I did something I haven't done in a minute, I prayed!

"God, you now who it is I'm sure. I shouldn't be asking you for anything but I need a big favor. I need my family back, you know everything that happen wasn't my fault I just need Brielle to see that. Please, please I need my life back together. I miss my son, what I said was an honest mistake I was talking out my ass because I'm stupid like that, excuse the curse word lord but I really need this. Please, throw a brother a miracle. Amen!"

When I woke up I was feeling a little bit better, Mijo was still sleep. Guess Chris saved me some time with that. I opened the soup he bought, under the container was the two page hand written letter about how much he loves me, wishes I home, misses my touch and kiss, how bad he wants to see me, and how bad he wants us together. I folded it back up putting it in my dresser and ate the soup, after an hour I threw it back up. I need to get some damn antibiotics, no more sushi ever!

"Did you have fun last night with Daddy?"

"Why didn't he sleep here, when are we going home?" He questioned.

"We can't yet Mijo, I told you already."

"Are you about to go see him?" He asked as I grabbed my keys.

"No, I'm going to the Doctor. Go in the room, watch t.v with Papi and Grandma."

I wish I could get a clear answer on what I should do with myself now, I'm standing at a crossroad of a four way intersection. Signs hanging above saying The End, New Beginnings, Old Ties, and Challenging Experiences. The end looks like the best choice for me right now but I don't think I'm ready to let go, I'm not ready for new beginnings just yet, I'm already going through enough shit for challenging experiences, that only leaves one my only one.

I was feeling better over the next couple of days but I had to do a lot of thinking, I need to separate myself from certain things. I have to do what's best for myself cause in the end I just want to be happy.

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(Old Authors Note)