It was night time. Only the bright moon and the stars lightened the darkness of the graveyard. There was a light breeze blowing across the tombstones and through my hair. The silence was a calming contrast to my inner battle happening in my mind.

I was sitting in front of my family’s tombstones, wondering where to start in the long and complicated story. And so, I started at the beginning, when the principal called me to his office and told me I had a mission to accomplish. I explained what happened the first time I saw the triplets and told them how much Jimhaya had creeped me out. I went on about the beach and the first time I had ever heard her laugh. I talked about the first time we kissed and had sex. The first time we danced and the first time I saw her kill; our first date and my first visit to the Underground. No matter how many good things I said about Jimhaya, there was a bad one right behind the corner.

“I’m so lost” I told them in a whispered tone “I really like this girl, but I’m afraid. Not of her, but what might happened to her. She is so unstable she’s like a ticking bomb. I’m afraid that I won’t be enough to keep her on her two feet, and frankly, I don’t think I could take it if she did explode.” I laughed hard “That bitch doesn’t even know what she’s doing to me.”

“What an odd place to be on a school night” I heard a voice say behind me. I didn’t have to look behind me to know it was the principal who spoke. I heard the old man’s feet shuffling as he marched his way to me and took a seat on the cold green grass. He took a deep breath enjoying the fresh air before turning his attention to the stones before him.

“Do you know what I am Siana?” he asked me seriously.

“A white dragon” I answered.

“And do you know how I ever got a hold of you when you parents died?”

I shook my head.

“Well, as you know, white dragons and angels were allies back in the day and were commonly found entwined together. Your mother and I were friends since infancy. We lived as neighbors in the Amber City. One of the greatest city ever existed and it still is to this day.” He spoke with awe. “Anyway, we were inseparable and the more we grew up, the closer we got.”

“What are you saying?” I said cutting him off.

“Your mother and I were lovers” my eyes widened and tried to speak but he put his hand up shushing me “Let me finish. It’s not a pretty story, not for me. Like I said, your mother and I were lovers and for a few years it was great. Everybody wanted to be with her and I was the luckiest man alive because she had chosen me. Her best friend. The best years of my life were in the arms of your mother. But as always, all good things must come to an end.

One day, the royal family of angels passed by our village and the prince, your father, had an encounter with your mother. One simple encounter was enough for him to fall in love with your mother. That was how great she was. Your father came back into town and courted her. At first she hated him because he was so pushy and arrogant. I was jealous but I knew I had nothing to fear because she was mine and I was hers.

After a while, your mother slowly started to like him and got used to him being around. We grew distant, not much, but enough that I noticed what was going on therefore I was the first to see that she had fallen for the prince of angels. She had opened her heart for another man other than myself.

From there, things started to fall. Your mother was torn between the prince and I. I was someone she knew inside and out. I was her comfort zone and her rock but the prince was a mystery. He was new and brought fire into her soul. He was the unpredictable and your mother loved that.

It was at a certain point where your mother had to choose between us. It took her a few years but in the end she chose him. I remember clearly the day she ripped my heart out of my chest. She was crying the whole time telling me how sorry she was and how she was giving up her best friend for the person she loved. I was beyond sad by then. I was angry. The only thing good in my life had rejected me for someone else. And because of that, I did some bad things.

The Great War had begun by that time and I had chosen the wrong side. I went to the daemon side and helped them take down our world piece by piece. I was too far gone in my misery to care what happened to anyone crossing my path.

I remember it was at the end of the war when it happened. The daemons had tried to break through the Amber City walls for years but to no avail. The city was where all the counselors and most powerful beings resided; where all the artifacts were held in a treasure room and where everything happened. They knew that if they controlled the Amber City, they would dominate the world and take control. The problem was that the walls surrounding the city were impenetrable and the defenses were flawless. There was only one way to get in and I knew where it was because I used to live there.

My mission was to infiltrate inside, open the doors from behind the walls and let them in but I was stopped by your mother. She had come to plead me to end my hateful acts. She begged me not to open the doors. She told me she had always loved me and that I was her rock. She apologised for hurting me and I broke down. I did as she asked like I have always had and kept the doors closed. I had remembered who I was.

That was the last time we kissed and the last time we saw each other.

And for this simple reason, the tide of the war had turned. The daemons never conquered the city and were all killed. Their planned failed and a few months later, the war ended.

I was put to prison and condemned to death for treachery but your mother supported me before the counsel and told them what I had done had a major impact on our victory. So instead of killing me, they sanctioned me to community service. They had built schools to try and unify the supernatural beings, creating peace and one of these schools, on the other side of the ocean, needed a headmaster. I was condemned to be a principal: a model for peace and unification to children for one thousand years. That was my punishment and I only have two hundred years to go. At first I despised every bit of it but I became accustomed and learned to love it. As for the Amber City, well I have been exiled forever along with all of Europe.”

“What does this have to do with anything?” I asked.

“We’re getting there. Now, I had not spoken to your mother in centuries so it came as a shock when I received a message from her saying she was in trouble and I needed me to protect something of hers. I didn’t believe it at first, so I ignored the warning. That was thirteen years ago. A few days later I had watched the news and witnessed the message of her and her family’s death. I quickly went to England, through the Underground passageway. It was the only way through the borders because I would have been wanted as trespassing. When I got to your home, I waited for the detectives to leave before I went in.

I knew your mother loved secret rooms and therefore I searched for them all around the house until I found you. You were curled in a ball, sleeping and I knew at that moment, you were what your mother wanted me to protect. She didn’t even have to ask me, I would still have taken you with me. I understood, that after everything I did, this was the moment I could redeem myself to her. You looked just like her, I’d be damned if I would have let you go.”

The principal looked at me with sadden eyes and he stroke my cheek with his fingers. “You are just like her” he said. “My point to this story is, do not let that girl hanging. I was in the same position as her but for different reasons. She is dependent of you and if you think you can keep up with her then stay with her. Don’t let go of what makes you happy. There might be other things waiting for you if you do but there might also be nothing.

Your mother waited too long and I turned out horribly wrong because of it. Make the decision but remember you are so young, you can always let go. You have time to know yourself and know what you want. Who knows, maybe you are enough to keep that child from insanity and maybe you can save her enough that she won’t have the need to support herself on others.”

He kissed my cheek and stood up. He went to the graveyard and rested his hand on my mother’s stone. “Take the day off, I will see you tomorrow” he said to me before disappearing into thin air.

And the hits just keep on coming, I thought. I puffed my cheeks in exasperation. I had just found out I was an angel of royal blood, now how cool is that?

-

I had decided to go to a club to get my mind off things, a gay one to be exact. The blasting music pierced my ears as I made my way to the bar. I ordered a set of shots and downed them in a matter of seconds. I looked around the club and watched people dancing and grinding with each other. I relaxed in my seat, enjoying the burn of the alcohol running down my throat.

The bartender came to me and offered me a cocktail from a young woman sitting across the bar. I lifted my drink in her direction before taking a sip and turned my attention back to the dance floor.

“Is anyone sitting here?” a sweet voice spoke beside me. I looked up only to see the woman who had bought me the drink. She was quite beautiful for a human with her long blonde hair and her bright blue eyes and plumped lips. Her eyes weren’t as pretty as Jimhaya’s but it complimented her features. This woman was wearing a nice tight red dress and high black heeled shoes. She smirked when she noticed me looking her up and down.

“Well?” she said.

“Make yourself comfortable” I replied before taking another sip. Smirking, she sat beside me and faced me head on.

“I have never seen such beautiful hair. It’s an odd colour” she said. “What’s your name?”

“Siana” I smiled weakly. I didn’t get it. I used to be good at this and now I was unsure and nervous.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Abby” she shook my hand and laugh “Don’t be shy gorgeous, I don’t bite”

We talked for a while before she dragged me to the dance floor and put her hands on my hips and moved with the music. I knew it was wrong, but I have not been able to keep my mind off Jimmy. I had constantly been comparing her with Abby. So, I let my body flow with the music, trying to decide what I was going to do. Maybe it was the alcohol kicking in.

After the song ended, Abby grabbed my hand and led me away from the crowd. I was still dazed enough to let her drag me away. We were in an almost empty hallway where the music was dim enough we could hear each other without yelling.

Abby pushed me to the wall and kissed me roughly. Her lips were soft but not as soft as Jimhaya’s. I let her take control as she slipped her tongue into my mouth. Jimhaya tasted better. Her hands roamed my body and found their way under my shirt. But as soon as her hands grazed my breasts I pulled back and gently pushed her away.

“I can’t” I whispered. I looked at her confused face “I’m sorry but I can’t do it”

With that, I walked away hurriedly. I didn’t stop until I was out of the club and the cool air hit my heated face. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, concentrating on the noise of the live city. It’s crazy when you think about it: people walked by you, going to destinations unknown to the world but themselves, too busy with their own problem to know about the dangers happening around them. I envied those people sometimes. The ones whose worst pain they ever felt were falling off a bike or a breakup with their partner.

I walked through the busy streets to a park nearby trying to avoid human contact. Once I arrived in the park, I made sure there was no one around before cloaking myself in an invisible spell. I jumped up and flew away from the lively place. It was a beautiful sight: an eliminated city at night.

Before I knew it, I had landed in front of the Hundale residence. I was standing under a tree looking through Jimmy’s room window. The beautiful girl was sitting on her bead looking down to something in her hands. Her window was opened. It was as if she knew I was coming. With a huge sigh I jump through her window and soundlessly landed in her room. Jimhaya didn’t turn around to look at me. Instead, she kept looking down to what looked like a Russian Doll. I stayed quiet, simply admiring her beauty.

“Did you know that dolls are the model of a human being” she said quietly with her alluring voice “This is a nesting doll, Matryoshka in Russian. They say it represents motherhood but a doll is a doll: It is the perfect representation of a human being.

When you look at, it’s beautiful. You can see all the details and fine brush stroke the artist so perfectly performed. You think you know everything there is about it. You think it looks full, complete, but you see something odd. You look closer and find out it can be opened to something you didn’t know was there. It kept it hidden within itself.

You take out the second doll but it’s different. The details are not so clear anymore. They are less detectible. It’s not as pretty as the other one. You open it again and again until you can’t anymore. The more you dig, the harder you see what it’s supposed to look like. The harder it is to find the beauty in the brush strokes.

Then, when you look at all of them, you realize it was not what you paid for. That it was more complicated than you expected. You paid for a perfect doll, but you got six imperfect ones. You think maybe, just maybe, you can keep the first doll and get rid of the others. It will be a beautiful piece of decoration but it will never serve its purpose. It will remain empty, never to be whole again.

You might think to keep the other dolls within the first doll and closing the opening with wax. But then, you must take extra precautions to not break the doll because you know that if it breaks, then the other faces will come out wildly, ending the perfect image. That is too exhausting.

So the best course of action is to get rid of the doll once and for all, never to see again”

Jimahya was holding the smallest doll in her hands. I walked silently behind her and leaned on her bed so my chest was to her back. I wrapped my arms over her shoulder and placed my hands on the doll she was stroking. I felt her shake lightly when I bent my head down to rest my chin on her shoulder.

“The smallest doll is my favorite one. Do you know why?” I whispered to her. “Because, it is the most crafted one of them all. Just to think of the amount of time the artist spent on this particular doll to make it look almost identical to the others is fascinating. The artist had to be extremely delicate and loving to be able to make it. But sometimes details are not always the best part in a craft. If there are too many details or they are too present, then you can see all of the flaws. Sometimes, the lack of details is what makes it undeniably glamourous.”

I made Jimmy look at me by turning her head with my figures. I traced them down her cheek to her chin. “You just have to look at the overall to see it.”

Jimmy raised her hand and cupped my cheeks. Her luscious lips grew into a small but happy smile and tears slowly slid down her face to settle on my fingers. She was crying.

“You came back” she chocked.

“I did” I said.

Jimmy whimpered before crashing her lips on mine. I sighed at the contact and responded to the need with as much passion I could afford. I pushed her shoulders back until her back rested on the mattress before lying down completely on her to get as much physical contact. She broke the kiss and looked at me with shiny eyes. I had never seen her so alive than right now. Butterflies burst into my stomach with the simple notion that I was the reason she came back to life.

“Don’t leave me” she begged.

“Not until you kick me out” I told her truthfully and we kissed again.

I’m still not sure what I signed up for by coming here but all I know is that right now, I’m not worried. We will just have to see where the road takes us.

‘There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.’ - Buddha