"Like rainbows after rain, joy will reveal itself after sorrow"

⋆✧⋆✧⋆

I get off the elevator and walk the hallway I've become all too familiar with this week. I hate that the stark white walls, faint beeping noises, and overall miserable atmosphere of the hospital have become my new normal.

I ran out to the store this morning to pick up some food for myself and the rest of the group because hospital food is not something you want to be living on. And when you're eating it as much as I have been, it's mandatory to give yourself a small break.

I'm not the only one spending lots of time in this hospital, but I'm definitely here the most. Based on the glances of pity and concern I think it's worrying everyone, but I don't really care what they think. I can't get myself to leave her side.

I've tried. I've tried multiple times to go home, but every time I do, I get to my car and sit in the seat for maybe five seconds before I'm walking straight back to her room. The only times I successfully make it there without turning around is to take a quick shower and change, but the second I'm done, it's right back to her.

Just as I'm about to turn the corner, I get a text from Jemma.

""

I stop in my tracks and reread the text.

Laney is awake.

Suddenly, my body takes me away from her room and walks towards the exit of the hospital.

It's not a completely conscious decision and I haven't figured out why I'm walking away until I'm sitting in the driver's seat of my car.

I don't feel like I deserve to see her right now. If the doctors were right and her memory isn't affected, her last memory is of me breaking her heart. She must already be insanely stressed out right now, learning that she was in a serious car wreck and fell into a coma for a week, the last thing she needs is to see me.

I won't do that to her family and our friends either. They deserve to see her and hug her without tension filling the room from my presence.

I'm honestly not sure if everyone knows what happened that night. Jemma is the only one I told about the breakup and while I never said it had to be kept a secret, I don't think she thought to share that information with anyone else.

If she did, however, no one brought it up to me. But nevertheless, they'd see something was wrong the second she sees me and her face inevitably drops.

I get out of my car and walk through the door.

The house feels empty and cold.

The memories from our breakup come flooding back to me in full force. Every feeling, every tear, and every word I uttered from that night coats the entire room, making it impossible to escape.

God, I can't believe what a fucking idiot I was.

I panicked and my solution was to push her away. Things got hard for a second and I abandoned her.

All I can help to do is wonder if I'm doing that very thing again; abandoning her.

My mind wanders to her in her hospital bed, anxious and scared, and my heart breaks; and when I think about her wondering where I am, questioning if I even cared enough to show up, I know I have to go back. Even if I get there and she hates me, even if she screams at me the second she sees my face. I just need her to know I'm still there for her and I will be forever if she lets me. I want her to know that if she takes me back, I won't leave her side.

I have to make this up to her because I can't, for the love of god, lose this woman. She is everything to me. She's the air I breathe, and she owns every thought in my head. She's my entire life.

I jump straight back into my car and head to the hospital, this time with my mind clear and one objective pushing me.

Getting her back.

⋆✧⋆✧⋆

My eyes slowly open and I have a difficult time adjusting to the light.

My bed feels more uncomfortable than usual, cold, and there's no heavy arm wrapped around my waist.

Weird.

It smells overwhelmingly like hand sanitizer, and not in a good way.

Did Jemma buy a bad candle again?

My vision clears and my senses heighten close to my normal capacity.

Where the hell am I right now?

I'm definitely not in my bedroom.

There's a needle sticking out of my arm, machines are beeping and attached to me, and I'm in a hospital gown.

Holy shit.

I try sitting up but my body is unexpectedly stiff and I'm met with shooting pains in my wrist and ribs. It's only then do I realize I'm sporting a cast. Pink, just like last time.

I pull up my hospital gown, the blue fabric bunching at my waist, and I raise it high enough to get a decent look at my ribs. They look just as bad as they feel. There are purple and blue bruises covering my skin like I've never seen before.

I start to panic, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly out of it, in pain, and alone. Where is everyone and what the hell happened to me?

I pull off the breathing tube resting on my nose and turn to my IV to figure out how to remove it next. But, before I can, a nurse opens the door and rushes over to me when she realizes I'm awake.

"Oh goodness," she mutters before sticking her head out of the door and calling for a doctor.

A rush of doctors and nurses come into my room. It's all a blur as they ask me questions I don't have full answers for, and perform a few tests on me.

By the time they're done and there are only a couple of older women in scrubs left with me, I'm even more confused than when I first woke up.

"Excuse me, when can I see my family?" I ask a kind-looking nurse.

She shoots me a sympathetic smile before saying, "I'll go let them know you're away, honey."

The other nurse stays with me, fidgeting with some machine beside me. "They're all going to be so relieved and excited to see you. Especially that boy," she says half to me and half to herself.

"What boy?" I ask, looking for some clarification.

But before she can answer me, Jemma, Chase, and my parents bolt over to me.

⋆✧⋆✧⋆

My mom and Jemma are both sobbing, Chase is shedding a couple tears, and my dad's eyes are watering.

Jeez, how long was I out?

"Dell, thank god you're okay!" My best friend wraps her arms around me, loosening her grip slightly when a pained noise slips out of my lips.

"We've missed you." Chase kisses me on the forehead and stands beside Jemma who lets go of me to make room for my parents.

I'm engulfed in a hug by both my mom and dad and I just let myself relax into their touch. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you awake."

"So happy, Kiddo," My dad agrees with my mom's previous statement. "We love you."

It's not long before everyone is in my room, surrounding my bed and expressing how relieved they are.

Luke and Owen walked in with a giant teddy bear. Apparently, his name is Norman and he's wearing an outfit made and styled by Aspen herself. Future fashion designer getting practice in.

I'm not going to lie, the bear looks freaking good. Definitely more stylish than my hospital gown.

Theo gifts me a couple books he read while I was out, annotated especially for me. He's such a sweetheart.

Mason, Daisy, Harper, and Beth hand me a card they all made, signed and decorated with drawings from everyone.

I just talk to them all, more so for them than for me. I know they need this right now, I can tell. They need to see me awake and alive, laughing and chatting, like this situation isn't really happening anymore.

And for a while, it actually works. It helps me forget about the fact that this is real life. I was in a car accident and fell into a freaking coma.

But when I look around and the face I most wanted to see isn't there, my heart aches, and my already limited social battery is completely depleted.

"Guys? Is it okay if I have a minute alone? I'm feeling a little overwhelmed," I ask sheepishly. I feel bad but I need some quiet right now.

"Sure thing, hon," my mom assures me as she escorts everyone out of the room and closes the door behind her.

⋆✧⋆✧⋆

The room falls silent and I'm left alone with my thoughts. I close my eyes and memories of the crash fit me like a ton of bricks.

I remember looking up and seeing a car heading straight for me. I remember the sound of the horn and the feeling of the impact as I was hit.

Luckily, the shock carried me through until I was knocked out so I don't remember feeling any pain.

But, despite the fact that I was in an almost life-ending car crash, those memories aren't what's bothering me right now.

No, the giant hole in my heart is from earlier that night.

I let my brain go there, I open myself up to flashbacks from the breakup.

It's almost just as bad reliving them as it was to go through it for real. I want to hate him for what he did, I want to forget about him and move on like he told me to, but I'm not naive. I know that's not possible.

The same nurse from earlier enters my room to check on me. "How are you feeling, sweetie? I brought you some food but try not to eat too fast, pace yourself."

She sets down a small tray but I don't even pay attention to what's on it, all I can think about is what she said to me before.

"What did you mean earlier?" I question.

"Sorry? I'm not sure what you're referring to."

"When I first woke up you said everyone would be excited to see me, especially that boy."

"Oh right, Sterling his name was. I guess it slipped my brain."

Sterling.

Hearing his name sends a new wave of emotions over me.

"Right, what exactly do you mean by that?"

She looks at me and smiles softly, "Well, Sterling was here every day you were asleep. He wouldn't leave your side, not even when the staff told him he should rest for his own mental health. To tell you the truth I don't know how he did it. Watching someone you love go through what you did is taxing, I can't imagine how he felt being here basically twenty-four-seven. I've never seen anything like it."

"He was here?" I can hardly believe it. If he was here, where is he now?

"Constantly. He read to you and talked to you. He slept in that chair over there every night." She points to a small, rather uncomfortable-looking chair in the corner next to my bed. "Have you not seen him yet? I just assumed he'd be the first one in the room when the news broke."

I shake my head. "No, I haven't seen him," I whisper, to myself for the most part.

She lays a comforting hand on my own. "I'll leave you alone now. Try and eat something and just call for me if you need anything at all."

"Thank you."

My heart isn't sure how to feel with this new information.

On one hand, it's still broken and reeling from what he put me through, but on the other hand, it's so full after hearing what he did for me this last week. The most confusing part is, I'm not surprised.

While technically we were broken up, he was still there for me, he was more than there for me and I wouldn't expect anything different. That's just who he is. I know that man loves me and I know there isn't anything he wouldn't do for me.

Even if he wants to deny it, he's the love of my life and I'm his. He's it for me. And this accident has proved to me that I gave up too easily. Life is too fucking short and precious to walk away from a relationship like ours.

I reach over to the table on my left and pick up my phone.

I call him.

He doesn't answer.

I call him again.

He doesn't answer again.

I do that I don't know how many times, and each time I met with the same result.

I'm pacing now. I'm standing up and walking around, moving back and forth in this thin hospital gown. Not even paying mind to my empty stomach and how cold I am.

"C'mon, Sterling. Pick up the fucking phone. I'm ready to fight. I'm ready for round two." I mutter when I try one last time.

"Delaney," I hear that comforting, deep, smooth voice, and I still.

Am I imagining this right now?

If I turn around and he's not actually there, I will fucking lose it.

"Delaney," Sterling's voice is louder this time.

I take a peak over my shoulder, hesitant to be met with the reality that he isn't in fact there. But when I open my eyes and Sterling is standing in front of me, all I can do is run over to him and jump into his arms, not caring that my head is still pounding and my body is covered in bruises.

"I tried calling you," I whisper into the crook of his neck.

"Fuck I'm sorry. I was driving, I didn't even notice."

I hold him a little tighter, not ready to let go. "Don't be sorry about that. I'm just glad you're here."

About a full minute later, I tell him he can let me down and the two of us end up sitting on my bed.

"I'm so damn sorry, Laney," he speaks first.

"I know you are."

"I got scared, I panicked, and I made a mistake. I never should have let you go. Take me back, let me show you how sorry I am, let me make it up to you. You're it for me. And I'm it for you, I know that now. I promise you, I won't ever do anything so stupid again." His voice breaks as he speaks, I can tell this is killing him.

"Sterling," I wait for him to look up at me and he does. "I believe you, I know you won't."

I can read this man like the back of my hand and right now, it's easier than it's ever been. Guilt, regret, and sincerity cover his face and fill his deep green eyes.

"Of course I'll take you back, in my head, I never lost you anyways. I don't even need to yell at you anymore, life is too short to harp on it anymore than the two of us have. And you don't have to make it up to me, you don't have to prove anything. I know you and I know you mean it when you say you won't leave this time. This last week has shown me that."

He holds my face in his hands and his lips meet my own. The kiss is soft, sweet, and loving. Perfect.

"The nurse told me about what you did for me while I was out," I whisper between kisses.

He doesn't say anything to me, he just rubs his thumb across my cheek.

"Thank you."

"Love, you don't have to thank me for anything. I said I'd be there for you. I mean what I said, I'm not leaving your side again. Almost losing you was the fucking scariest thing I've ever been through and I'm not repeating that."

I can't imagine how he must have felt the last few days. If this was the other day around, I would have lost my mind.

"After the accident, I was forced to see my life without you in it. Where I couldn't wake up with you cuddled into my side, l couldn't admire the way your chest rose and fell as you breathed deeply, I couldn't hear the sound of your laugh, I couldn't feel the way you absentmindedly reach for my hand when you get nervous about something. And let me tell you, that life was not a life worth living," he tells me.

"I lost you twice in one night. I'm stupid but I'm not that stupid. I'm never fucking losing you again. Do you understand me?"

I smile at his words. "I love you."

"I love you too."

⋆✧⋆✧⋆

Life is basically normal again. I was discharged from the hospital and I've returned back to school and work, despite everyone fussing that it's too early. My cast is off, my bruises have faded, and my cuts have healed.

The weather has gotten slightly warmer and the snow has begun to melt.

Right now, I'm sitting on my porch, cuddled into my boyfriend's side on our new outdoor couch. A blanket thrown over the two of us protects us from the cold as we watch the rain stream down. I fidget with the promise ring back on my ring finger and my other hand is busy holding Sterling's.

This may be my favourite moment I've ever experienced.

The sound of the rain falling. The feeling of the frigid air around me yet Sterling's body warmth keeps me at the perfect temperature. The smell of the fresh air as I breathe deeply.

It's all perfect.

"What are you thinking about right now?" he questions, aware I was lost in thought.

"Oh nothing," I brush it off. It's probably too cheesy.

"No, tell me," he pokes my side and I squeal from the ticklish sensation.

"Fine, but only because I love you and I have permission to punch you if you complain about how sappy I'm about to be."

"What? I never agreed to that."

"Too late," I tell him. "Just don't tell your girlfriend she's being overly emotional and no physical harm will be brought about."

He just lets out a deep chuckle.

"I'm just thinking about how freaking lucky I got with you." I kiss him on the cheek before I continue, "I used to think I wasn't worth it, I wasn't worth unconditional love. I was scared my experience of love wouldn't live up to the expectations I had set after reading hundreds of books about with perfectly crafted couples. Like what was the point of experiencing it for real, if I could do it so beautifully on paper. Where there was no worrying of a sad ending, or the harsh reality that it wasn't all it's choked up to be."

He nods and lets me go on.

"I didn't want it in real life because I didn't want to ruin the idea of love I had created in my head, the idea that it's perfect and all-consuming. Because what if it wasn't?"

I stop myself to take a breath, crying right now would be too embarrassing.

"That all changed with you. Your love changed it. You made me see that it could be real, it could be everything I ever dreamed of. I didn't have to read it and live vicariously through someone's writing. I have it, me, the girl whose life was painfully average and achingly boring, before you entered it. You showed me that I could love someone, but that most importantly someone could love me."

"Well, I'll never top that speech, no matter how hard I try. But, it has been the honour of my life loving you, and it will continue to be, for the rest of our long, happy lives."

⋆✧⋆✧⋆

Are you guys going to stop hating me now?

I promised this book would be a happy ending, and I'm delivering. I love you all too much to do that. Frankly, I don't think I could handle seeing my characters unhappy, I couldn't live with myself.