It's dark - Really dark.

Nevertheless, it helps ease my pain not being able to see the injury. I couldn't tell you how long I've been sitting against this tree. I'd ripped a part of my clothing and wrapped it around the bullet wound. Since then I've sat here. Against this tree, wondering why my life sucks.

Part of me feels bad

I know people have it worst, however, maybe that's my problem. If I keep pushing the way I feel about my life away, I'll never deal with it. I hate being alone. It makes me think about all the problems I've been putting off.

My brother

Even though we had that moment of understanding, it doesn't compensate for the years of grieving I'd done for him. It hurts not only my heart, but my brain thinking about it. All of the late-night cries and the 'I want to dies' I did for him; for nothing.

My mother

Truth is, killing her didn't help my healing. Sure, killing her felt nice and I'd do it again. However, the pain from not having a loving mother, a mother at all, weighs very heavy on me. The whole reason she hated me was because of the death of Elijah; that's not dead. Although the more I think about it. She's never been very loving. Not to me at least.

My father

A recurring quote of mine is 'What does a daddies girl do without a dad?' - lovely isn't it? I often feel guilty for loving a man that as wreaked havoc on so many lives. He was and is still my father. A man that truly gave me everything I'd ever yearned for.

Love

But just like the universes cruel and recurring joke - He was taken away.

The beautiful sound of a wolf's howl reminds me that I'm still in the middle of the woods and people still want to kill me.

Slowly I get up, stopping when I reach my feet. The wound burns. It's a very strange sensation. I can't say that I've ever thought about being shot, but if I did this is not what I would have imagined. I stand hunched over already out of breath.

I have to get out of here. I doubt just because I outran them that they'll stop. If they don't kill me then the wildlife will. I just start walking. The woods have to stop somewhere. Maybe I can get to a point where I start to remember my surroundings.

I miss Cole

There is nothing I'd rather do, nowhere I'd rather be than in his arms.

My eyes well up at the thought. Why can't he just find me? Why can't this be like a movie? A movie where he just comes out of the woods, looking tattered and tired. Then he sees me and his face lights up while we run towards each other full speed. Hell, maybe he'd even tell me he loves me.

"Tal Vez," I whisper to myself, ducking under a low branch.

(Maybe)

I walk through a clearing in the woods. The moon now on full display. Electric blues eye pop into my memory. I imagine how they would reflect the bright moon. Would the turn grey? Or would they blend into a beautiful blue-violet? This was a question I intended to find the answer to.

Lately, I've wondered how it feels to taste his lips. That's another question I intended to find an answer to.

Quickly the crunches of leaves under my feet become the only noise I hear. I'm not complaining though. It's almost melodic, well, it would be if my limping didn't make my steps off.

I freeze, hearing a sound.

The sound of cars

I limp faster towards the sound. I could cry of joy. Passing the last layer of trees they reveal an intersection. A familiar intersection. The same intersection I take to go to the club. The intersection Cole's car zoomed past me at.

The club might not be the correct place to go, but the diner is about 6 miles east. I can feel myself physically brighten at the thought of seeing Ms. Justine. It's been so long. I remember when seeing her was my favorite part of the day.

I begin trekking through the grass, excitement bubbling in my veins.

She'll be so happy to see me. Cole should buy the diner. Then Ms. Justine wouldn't have to work so hard. She's one of the few people that have been kind to me and I often wished she was my mother.

I'm guessing it'll take 90 minutes to walk 6 miles.

A more than an hour passes and I still don't see the iconic green roof of the pretty diner. Even with taking the darkness into account, I should be able to at least see the outline. I see nothing.

Shit - did I go the wrong way?

I take in a sharp breath.

Did she have to sell if because I stopped working there? No, no. They wouldn't have torn it down. Perhaps the diner is a little farther than I thought. I groan at that thought. The small excitement I had distracted me from the growing pain in my stomach, but best believe its still there.

And it doesn't like this nature walk too much

I pick up my pace. A sick feeling settles in my stomach. Somethings wrong. Something very wrong. I try my best to run, feeling vile in the back of my throat. The pain is nauseating. My eyelids feel heavy, yet I continue to run.

The closer I come to where the building is supposed to be the more a blank square of concrete grows.

What the hell?

If I hadn't known there was a building there prior to its destruction. I wouldn't have thought anything about the blank space. I stand in the middle of what used to be the kitchen.

This wasn't a money issue. The air was thick.

It smells of barbeque, a charcoal-like whiff of gunpowder mixed with blood and burned flesh. It's a bitter smell. I swear I can feel the evaporated tears in the air. It overpowers everything.

I can taste it

It would be naive of me to think that this a standard kitchen fire. I've been held at gunpoint far too many times to believe that was the case.

Ms. Justine

I pray that she wasn't here. It's useless because I know she was. She never opened the diner without being there. She loves to socialize with the customers and bake her famous pies, but for a moment, I just hope maybe she got sick. Maybe she left to get some flour.

I don't know- just- God please let her have not been here.

She is the only pure thing left on this earth. I shouldn't be surprised. Just another one of my loved ones taken away from me. I should be used to it. In fact, I should expect it.

"Damnit!" I screamed into the air. The trees echo me in a mocking way as if to say they saw it. As if they watched me walk all the way here, knowing what I'd see.

The feeling of a tightened throat and heavy eyes is something I've come very accustomed to. My head whips back and forth. Looking for anything, looking for anyone.

I should have stopped by the diner when I got out of my mom's house. I've been living in a penthouse for weeks. I've forgotten where I've come from. She must've thought the same thing. She must've thought I just stopped showing up to work. The thought makes me sick to my bullet held stomach. Her thinking that I've just passed her along.

What's wrong with me? Why didn't I check up on her?

Maybe if I'd come at the right time...

An object on my far right catches my attention. It's beyond the concrete settling in the grass. I move towards it. In utter disbelief:

"No way," The words slip out of my mouth, "They did not."

The object was a silver plate, in it was writing:

Victim - Female, around 60, no contact found.

Information known:

Justine

She deserved so much more, so much better. I place a kiss on the silver plate. I wanted to stay with her, but I know better. The people would come back. This was on their radar.

And I've had my fair share of kidnapping already

I thought I'd come to terms with her death when I smelled the air. However, as I stood over the place where her delicate body might lay, I couldn't even bring myself to believe it. My brain can't make the connection that a woman that means so much to me, might be dead.

It's not even the fact that she's dead - it's how she died. I've heard that fire is the worst way to die. The fact that a group of people came to this small diner and blew it up while people were still in it is too much to comprehend.

All for what? Who could she'd possibly made mad?

It clicked, just then, it clicked. Ms. Justine didn't make anyone mad.

I forcefully pull myself away from the makeshift grave. Having no idea where else to go, I continue walking east. My best bet is to just keep walking.

I take a deep breath.

If I can still breathe, I'm fine