《Beautifully Broken》- 36 -
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I couldn't sleep last night. I have this bad feeling about everything going right at the moment. I see the pattern in my life, nothing good ever lasts long.
But this is one thing that I don't want to turn bad.
I'm happy
I've waited for the longest time to say that. I've wondered for a long time if it was ever going to happen to me. I'm probably jumping the gun when I say I love Cole, but for the love of all humanity whatever this is I want it to stay.
Around 3:30 a.m. I wriggled away from Cole's stronghold and sat at the edge of the window. Now, two hours later, I'm currently gazing at the sunrise. I was about to say that I couldn't remember the last sunrise I watched:
"Daddy, you're my best friend," I look up adoringly at my father. His warm ivory skin glowed under the orange tones of the sunrise. He woke me up early that morning because I said previously that I wanted to see one.
He wraps his large arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his chest. His cologne smelling of caramel liqueur, leather, and wood. The same cologne Mommy took me to buy for him last Christmas. I smile as I let myself enjoy the moment.
"Listen, baby girl, I'm going to have to go to work soon," My father sighs checking his watch, I pout.
"I don't want you to leave," I whine, hugging him closer.
"Darling, I will always be here," He picks up my chin, "I'm coming back," He chuckles.
"You promise?" I hold out my pinky, pout lifting into a small smile as it always did when he cheered me up.
"Always." He links pinkies with mine.
"Always," I whisper to myself, quickly wiping the small tear that manages to get past my eyelashes.
I often think about how a man I loved greatly could do so much harm to someone else. I wouldn't say I dwell on it. It's a question that can never be answered or explained. Therefore, that is what haunts me.
I turn back to the bed. Cole's body perched on one elbow, already looking at me. I shoot him a small smile, moving to sit next to him. My hands fall into his russet brown locks and my legs fall on top of his.
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"Beautiful sky," I comment looking back at the window.
"What were you thinking about?" The sleepy devil asks, eyes not leaving my face.
Lying crossed my mind. Saying a quick "nothing" and letting it go.
It truly was nothing. The tear was simply a reaction of the body and not of the mind. Nevertheless, the look of Cole's eyes peering up at me and his pure curiosity swayed me to open up to him.
"My father," I state.
Immediate regret hits me as I remember that my father wasn't just my father. He was a killer, the murder of Cole's mother to be exact. I looked quickly back at Cole to retract my statement. Cole's face appeared unaffected, as a matter of fact, he seemed even more sympathetic.
"What about him?" No sharpness in his tone detected.
"I don't know," I shrug, "I just remembered the last sunrise I was and it was with him,"
"So I guess that tear was because of how beautiful the colors were, right?" He asks sarcastically, sitting all the way up now. Back pressed against the headboard.
I sigh, "I just remembered the promises he made and how much I wanted to be around him,"
"My father may have not been a good man, but he was good to me,"
"Princesa, I understand. I would never hold your father's mistake against you. My father wasn't a good man either," Cole gestures to a scar on his hand, "To add on to that he wasn't even good to me,"
(Princess)
I run my fingertips across the discolored skin. Curiosity gets the best of me.
"You never talk about him,"
"Nothing really to say," He shrugs, "He always worked. When I wasn't training to take over, I was at home with my mother. I mean, don't get me wrong. We had good times when all the family was together. He loved my mother with all his heart and I think he adored me because I was the product of their love," Cole starts.
I really liked learning about his family, he's never said more than a few sentences about his mother or father.
At least not to me
"He didn't really know how to be a father. Which I don't hold against him because no one really does until you have a kid. In all honesty, I was born to carry the legacy. With all that being said he parented as well as he was able,"
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"Where is he?"
"Dead," Cole deadpans, "After my mother died his purpose in life was to avenge her death. After the killing of your father, he had nothing to live for,"
"He killed himself?" I furrow my brows.
"No," Cole pauses, "At least I don't think so, I didn't see him much before he died. After the accident, he sent me away with family to a training camp in Colombia. I was trained to take over as leader," He looks at me, "Your brother went with me,"
I frown harder, "Elijah said that your father treated him like a son,"
"He did," Cole chuckles, "But did E ever say that was a good thing?"
"Like I said my father was a terrible man, similar to yours. However, he tried his best as a dad." Cole stands, stretching.
"As much as I don't want to leave you, I have to go to work," He pouts cutely.
"Take me with you," I suggest sitting up on the bed.
"That sounds like the best idea in the world," He whines, "But I can't do that, not this time,"
"However," He continues making his way to the bathroom, "After I get back, I will be taking you out,"
I perk up, "Like a date?"
He pokes his head out of the bathroom.
***
After Cole left I decided to at least get dressed. I'm normally always doing something, now that I have time I don't know what to do with myself. I also realize very quickly that we don't have shit in this fridge.
I slam the door with a loud, discouraged sigh.
I turn my head to the door, frowning slightly. Elijah should be at work with Cole. I swiftly grab the gun from inside a vase next to the front door. I open the door slightly, being flashed with Chinese take out bags and brown curly hair.
"Girl, open the door," Her soft giggle makes its way past the bags.
I pull it back all the way, a smile making it's way to my face.
"Angel!" I smile, "How are you?"
She truly was an Angel, I haven't had Chinese in the longest time. Then she shows up with it at my door when I'm at my hungriest. She's a whole saint.
"I'm doing just fine this morning. Cole called asking me to check up on you," She places the food on the island, picking and choosing what she wants and I soon follow.
My smile widens at the mention of Cole's name. After a while of just eating in comfortable silence, I decide to speak.
"So what brings you here?"
"What do you mean?" She wipes her mouth with a napkin, looking up at me.
"It's not every day that people join gangs, so what's your story?" I can tell she senses the underlying question between my words, even as much as I try to hide it.
"Don't worry I don't have the hots for your Loverboy," I blush at her comment. "I grew up in a prestigious home with strict parents. All the rules just made me crave adventure. My job is to do the setups. You know, when the guy we need goes to a club I seduce him," She shrugs. "That kind of thing,"
I want to do that
"How long have you been doing it?" I take a sip of my water.
"Lord, who knows?" She sighs to herself, "Maybe 2 and a half years?"
She doesn't ask me any questions. I assume she's been told all about me. That or she doesn't care. Whichever one is fine it doesn't matter.
"We can watch a movie if you want," I try to say, but the large piece of chicken taking its sweet time down my throat makes it a little hard.
Angel laughs, obviously seeing my struggle with the chicken.
"What do you want to watch?" She makes her way to the couch with the food, I do the same with the drinks.
"All we have is time so..." I trail, running movie options through my mind.
"Any Disney movie is fine,"
"I'd love to watch Disney movies with you, but I have to warn you," I state, "I'm a very emotional person,"
She waves me off, "Are you kidding, Disney movies are the only thing that gets me to cry,"
I place a hand on my heart.
"You're a woman after my own heart." I quickly pick up the remote.
Things are starting to come together now
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