MY PENCIL SNAPPED in half between my fingers, breaking the silence of the room.

I froze as all eyes flitted in my direction, sizing me up, most likely wondering what was wrong with me. I'd already made a great first impression by coming in late, a frantic, squirrelly mess, and I hadn't been able to sit still in my seat, my hands constantly fumbling for something to fidget with. I was grateful I'd remembered my pencil case, and it had proven to be a useful distraction, until, of course, I'd decided to bend my pencil back and forth, causing it to snap in two.

My shoulders hunched self-consciously as I grimaced, meeting the professor's eyes. "Sorry," I mouthed, hoping she would interpret my restlessness as nothing more than first day jitters. Thankfully, she merely gave me a knowing smile, and continued going through the syllabus without a comment.

I let out a slow breath of relief, though it was short-lived, due to Will's presence screaming from the seat next to mine. I refused to look at the black monitor in front of me, sure that I'd be able to catch a glimpse of his reflection—and sure that I wouldn't like what I saw. I had no doubt in my mind that he hated me. He hadn't uttered a word to me since the hard-hitting question I'd been unable to answer, and I desperately hoped he wouldn't speak again until I'd safely fled the classroom, and we went our separate ways.

Glancing at the clock on the wall, I counted down the minutes with bated breath, my foot tapping impatiently.

I felt a nudge at my elbow, startling me, and for a second I thought Will had accidentally brushed against me, but then I felt it again. I hesitantly spared him a look. He met my eyes, face unreadable, then meaningfully looked down to the table, where I saw a scrap of paper waiting for me. Swallowing, I glanced at the professor before timidly picking up the note, my heart aching when I took in the familiarity of his handwriting.

We need to talk after this, it read. Please don't leave.

So much for my plan to make a great escape once the lesson was over.

He was watching me, waiting for an answer. Chewing on the inside of my lip, I gave him the briefest of nods, before looking away, and his shoulders seemed to relax ever so slightly.

Please don't leave. The words caused a lump to form in my throat. I'd heard them before.

Suddenly, it felt as though time was moving too fast, determined to work against my favor, regardless of the direction. My fingers itched to text Naomi, to get her to come up with some sort of emergency that would result in me needing to leave the moment we were dismissed. But I was sure it would be futile; Will and I needed to talk eventually. Maybe it was better to do it sooner rather than later.

The rest of the class went by in a rush of anxiety, and the professor—who'd introduced herself as Jen, though I barely caught it in the midst of my inner turmoil—decided to let us go a few minutes early. Most people were excited about this, but it only caused the feeling of dread in my stomach to become more potent. Wordlessly, I packed my things into my bag, swallowing as I rose to my feet, and headed toward the door, knowing Will would follow.

There was a swell of noise as everyone moved toward the exit, oblivious to the thick cloud of tension in the room. I lifted my hand in a frail wave when Jen looked my way, hoping for a brief second that she'd want to talk to me about punctuality, but like before, she simply smiled, waving back absentmindedly as she sorted through papers at her desk. With no further distractions at my disposal, I left the room, walking a short distance down the hallway, and standing off to the side, out of the way.

Like I predicted, Will was only a couple paces behind.

I fiddled with the strap of my bag, watching as he leaned against the wall, facing me with his jaw tight, eyebrows pulled together, crystalline eyes darting over my features.

"Hey," he finally said, voice nowhere near as hard as I had expected it to be, though it was still laced with frustration.

"Hi," I said dumbly, thinking we were already far beyond trivial greetings.

"Are you going to explain what's going on?" he asked softly. "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"You knew I was coming back."

He let out a short laugh of disbelief. "You were supposed to come back four months ago."

My eyes dropped to the floor, guilt rolling around in my stomach. "I couldn't."

Will paused, seeming to consider my words, and when he spoke again, his words were quieter. "Regardless of your reasons for staying, I wish you would've told me. Seeing you for the first time at one of Duncan's fucking parties. . ." He laughed humorlessly again, shaking his head. His tone wasn't angry, though it sounded tired. "I mean, what the hell?"

"I'm sorry," I said honestly, the fidgeting of my fingers intensifying, and I saw his eyes drop to my hands. "That was a mistake. I wasn't thinking. It's just been so long since we've spoken, I didn't think you'd want to hear from me—"

"Tucker!"

The voice came from farther down the hall, not seeming to be aware of the heaviness of our conversation, and we both turned to look in their direction. A guy I didn't recognize was beckoning Will to join him and some others, grins adorning their faces. I looked at Will, watching his expression twist in anguish for a brief moment, before he smiled, waving back.

"I'll be there in a minute," he called, then turned to face me again. His eyes clouded over urgently, like a storm moving in. "That girl you saw me with. . . it's only been a few weeks."

I paused, no longer following. "What?"

"I just started seeing her," he continued, and I noticed the tinge of embarrassed pink in his cheeks that I used to know so well. "It's new. I thought you should know."

"Oh." I swallowed, trying not to conjure up the image of him kissing someone else. "That's okay. You don't have to explain."

He reached up, scratching the back of his neck. "I feel like I do."

Our eyes locked for a charged second, before his friends called him again, and this time, he joined them, leaving me standing against the wall, clutching my bag to my chest.

I'd never been so happy to see my car.

The dark gray clouds had become significantly more threatening throughout the course of the day, and they looked ready to burst at any moment. Inwardly, I felt the same: on the verge of my breaking point, seconds from a downpour. My interaction with Will had made it impossible to focus on anything for the rest of the day, meaning everything that had been mentioned in my typography class had gone straight over my head. In the midst of my escape from campus, I'd quickly fired off a text to Naomi, telling her we could catch up later. I wasn't ready to talk.

Fishing my car keys from my bag, I hurriedly located the key fob to unlock the vehicle, but they quickly fell to the pavement as someone bumped into me.

I watched as a boy darted away from me, calling out a half-hearted apology that was mostly laughter as his friend followed suit, chasing him through the parking lot. My face twisted into a frown, and I sighed as I crouched to pick up my keys, but they weren't there.

My eyes widened as I frantically searched the ground around my feet, only to come up short. Then my gaze flickered to my car.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath exasperatedly, getting onto my knees to look underneath.

Sure enough, my keys were in the center of the parking space beneath the car, out of my reach. I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a deep breath, before bracing myself against the vehicle and extending my arm as far as I could. It was useless. When I sat back, I noticed my sweater had gathered all of the dirt from the side of the car, and I hurriedly swiped it away while I tried to think of something I could use to reach the keys. It was due to rain at any second, and I didn't want to wait around to get drenched.

All I wanted to do was go home, but that seemed to be too much to ask, given my current circumstances.

"Need a hand?"

I glanced up in time to see a sympathetic face smiling down at me. My lips parted.

It was her.

The girl from the party.

Her olive skin, sleek dark hair, and stunning facial features were easily recognizable. She towered over me, donning a windbreaker, an umbrella in hand. I could only stare at her blankly, all intelligent thoughts having completely vacated my brain. It made sense for Will to be with a girl like her; I'd always thought he was out of my league. But it didn't stop a torrential rain of inadequacy and jealousy to release inside of me, even though it was selfish.

It's new. I thought you should know.

"I saw the whole thing," she blurted when I didn't say anything, gesturing in the direction of the boys with her chin. "Guys are assholes." She lifted the umbrella a little higher. "But I have something that might help."

"Oh," I said, coming back to reality. "Thank you."

She raised her eyebrows, motioning for me to move out of the way, and I awkwardly complied, scrambling to my feet. "Allow me," she remarked.

I held out a hand as she knelt on the pavement. "You don't have to—"

"No worries," she replied, voice somewhat strained as she peered beneath the car, using the umbrella as an extension of her arm. "I don't mind." I watched as she reached around for the keys, her face pulled tight in concentration for several beats, before it cleared, and she sat up, jingling them a little. "Got 'em."

She tossed them to me as she stood, and I managed to catch them clumsily, still feeling bewildered by the whole interaction.

"Thank you," I stammered again, letting out a breathy laugh. "You're a lifesaver."

"Anytime," she said, waving a hand dismissively, and lending me a smile. "I'm Sabrina."

"Vivienne," I replied, doing my best to return the smile, but unable to deny it felt weird to learn her name. It made everything seem more real.

"You don't happen to be new to Cape Vincent, do you?" she asked.

"I grew up here," I explained, playing with the strap of my bag. "But I was gone for a long time, and I just got back. I feel a bit like a stranger now."

"I get that." Sabrina nodded in understanding. "I just moved here this summer, and I was hoping I wasn't the only one who felt like a fish out of water," she admitted, laughing with uncertainty, and rubbing her arm.

"You definitely aren't," I said sincerely, giving her a tiny smile. "It can be a little hard to live here sometimes. But I'm sure you'll find your rhythm soon."

"Thanks. That gives me hope." She beamed, then took out her phone to check the time. "Shoot, I'm running late to meet someone. I guess I'll see you around?"

"Sure." I nodded.

Sabrina took off hurriedly, waving at me over her shoulder, and I swallowed, feeling certain she was on her way to see Will.

Unlocking my car, I quickly slipped inside, biting down hard on the inside of my lip. I pulled out of my parking space, waiting until I was a safe distance away from campus. The moment it was no longer visible in my rear-view mirror, tears began to burst from their ducts, hours of pent up emotion releasing all at once. I turned on the radio to my favorite indie station, cranking up the volume so I wouldn't have to hear myself cry, instead listening to a singer reminiscing about days long since passed.

I didn't think there was one specific reason for the emotional outburst—it was a variety of things.

Speaking to Will had stirred up a lot of memories and feelings I'd long tried to suppress, and it was confronting to have them all brought to the surface. And to know that I was guaranteed to see him for at least ninety minutes every week, unless one of us dropped the class. I'd anticipated seeing him around campus—that was a given—but I wasn't entirely sure why he was taking a Photoshop class at all. I supposed there were most likely a lot of things I didn't know about him anymore. A lot could change in a year, that point had been made painfully evident on multiple occasions.

And then there was Sabrina.

As if it wasn't torturous enough that Will was seeing someone new, it just had to be someone so nice, and unassuming. I couldn't hate her, couldn't help but feel that he deserved someone like her. I felt a stab of guilt; she was friendly now, but it was likely she would regret ever talking to me once she found out who I was.

Keeping one hand on the wheel, I used my free one to wipe my tears away, sure I looked like a mess. I was eager to get home, snuggle my dog, and sleep the rest of the day away.

But the guilt in my stomach intensified, and I began to wonder if I should've just stayed in Tokyo after all.

┅

some chapters flow extremely well, and some chapters feel like pulling teeth. this chapter was the latter! writing is hard sometimes, who knew!

as always, let me know your thoughts on this chapter!

thank you for reading ミ☆