DECEMBER 18, 2016 - 1 YEAR AFTER

A LITTLE OVER two weeks later, on a gray, December morning, we decided to hold a funeral.

I went to the flower shop with Will, and Dad helped us pick out a bouquet of baby's breath and lavender. We drove out to the lighthouse, where the snow had become scarce, and walked to the edge of the cliff, our fingers interlocked. The salty air was crisp, and I could feel the tip of my nose beginning to sting, but my hand felt warm tucked into Will's, and that warmth spread to the rest of me.

He glanced down to meet my eyes, and I felt my stomach swell with butterflies. The way he'd begun to look at me over the last couple weeks was vastly different from how he'd looked at me in the months preceding them. There was always a softness in his eyes now, like every time he saw me, the turmoil inside of him quietened, and he breathed easier. Like I was the only thing he ever wanted to see. I couldn't believe there'd been a point where I hadn't allowed myself to look into them.

"Shall we?" he asked gently.

I tucked a curl that had fallen loose from my ponytail behind my ear, nodding.

Will crouched down, delicately placing the bouquet in the grass, near the foot of the lighthouse. It was our physical way of leaving the past behind us, of doing our best to move on, to heal. Maybe it was melodramatic, but laying all of those months of yearning and misunderstanding to rest felt like the natural next course of action. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply, imagining all of the pain of the past year and a half rising like smoke and drifting into the atmosphere, never to return.

We weren't trying to dismiss what we'd been through, and it wasn't as if we were never going to speak of it again. But there was so much hurt with nowhere to go anymore. We were simply giving it a home, returning it to the universe. I was saying goodbye to the girl that I once was, the one who'd cowered and hid from the truth, and curled herself around her pain over and over until no one else could touch it. She would always be a part of me, but I was determined to never let myself sink so low again.

There is little in life that should be gone through alone.

I opened my eyes, exhaling, in time to see Will doing the same. We probably looked silly, breathing in the wind and giving flowers to the ghost of a feeling, but that didn't matter. Will reached down to steal two sprigs of lavender from the bouquet, tucking one behind my ear and the other behind his.

Sighing deeply, he took me into his arms, pressing a kiss to my forehead, leaving another glow of warmth there.

"I love you," I murmured.

The words nudged his mouth into a smile. "You and me."

Even though I'd come back to Cape Vincent in August, it was only now, being with Will, that I truly felt like I'd come home.

My family had been so relieved when I'd told them about our reunion—my mom had nearly cried. I knew they would've been happy for me whether I was on my own, or in a relationship, and they would never tell me directly, but they were all rooting for us. When I brought Will over to the house, the energy around the dinner table felt as though Christmas had come a little early, and our long lost family member had returned. He'd always had a place with us, and it made my heart full to see him finally reclaiming it.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

"Better," he remarked. "So much better. You?"

"Me too," I said. "Better than I have all year."

"Good."

I looped my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, and held me tightly, two puzzle pieces slotting into place. We stared out over the sea in comfortable silence, save for the gentle crashing of waves. It was cold, but I wanted to bask in the moment a little longer.

"This place didn't feel like home without you," Will told me quietly.

I pulled back a bit, enough to look at him. "I know the feeling."

"I'm so glad you're here," he whispered, pushing back the errant curl that had strayed again.

Standing on my tiptoes, I pressed a kiss to his lips, then his cheek, then his nose. "I'm here if you are."

That night, we met everyone at Culver's: Duncan, Naomi—and Sabrina. The last time the five of us were together was the dreaded escape room fiasco, and there was a lingering anxiety at the back of my brain, enough to make nerves twist in my belly. But this time, we had the added addition of Ravi, and one of his many talents was blowing past the potential awkwardness of any situation.

Will and I arrived together, and I felt the strange temptation to hide behind him, despite the fact that everyone we were meeting was already a close friend, save for Sabrina. I had no idea where we stood. Her boyfriend had broken up with her because of me, and now she was dating my best friend—which Will was aware of, and seemingly had no problem with. But I kind of had the feeling that there wasn't a lot that could bother Will anymore, now that we were together again.

"Oh my God," Naomi cried, springing up from her seat the second she saw us approach the table. "My babies! My fucking babies are happy again, I'll cry!"

She wasted no time in flinging her arms around us, squeezing so tightly I found myself gasping for air as I patted her back.

"Good to see you, too," I choked out, before she released us.

"Wait, do you guys hear that?" she asked, frowning.

Will glanced at me. "Hear what?"

"The sound of all being right in the world again," she remarked, her frown twisting into a grin.

I laughed, rolling my eyes amicably. Behind her, Duncan raised his pint, nodding in greeting. "Congratulations, you two," he called out. "I can't remember the last time I saw you smiling so much, Tucker."

I waved at Ravi, who looked incredibly smug as he shot me a wink, as if all of this was his doing. I felt a swell of affection in my chest. He really had been there for me through everything. Then my eyes fell on Sabrina, and my anxiety began to crawl its way up my throat. I found myself holding my breath, searching her face for any traces of resentment or jealousy. Instead, she smiled knowingly, patting the seat beside her.

Exhaling in relief, I approached the table, sliding into the chair. "Hey," I breathed.

"Hey, Viv," she said.

There was a beat of silence, then we spoke at the same time.

"Look, I'm really sorry about—"

"The last time we saw each other—" Sabrina stopped, laughing a little. "Sorry, you first."

I shot her a sheepish smile. "I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry about everything. And please, let me know if it makes you feel uncomfortable to, you know, see us together."

She shook her head. "You don't have to apologize," she said sincerely. "I'll admit, I was pretty hurt about the way things ended with Will. But deep down, I always knew it was never going to work out with him, even before you came into the picture. And there's no way I could possibly be angry now. I mean, look at you guys. How can I be mad at you when I like you both so much and you both look so damn happy together? I'm not a supervillain."

I felt a swell of warmth in my chest. "You're amazing, Sabrina," I said. "I hope you know that."

She smiled warmly, before the sight of Naomi approaching caught her eye. "Besides, I think it all worked out in the end."

Naomi reached us, placing a kiss to Sabrina's cheek that made her blush, before sitting down. "Talking about me?"

"Always." Sabrina took Naomi's hand, interlocking their fingers.

Will slid into the seat next to me, putting an arm around the back of my chair. He and Sabrina locked eyes, and for a moment, I felt myself tense, before I saw the look of understanding pass between them. It was clear whatever they'd had was long over. My shoulders relaxed.

Until Will's eyes fell on Ravi, and I felt him stiffen beside me. It occurred to me that his last memory of Ravi was likely at that party where he'd seen us dancing, and subsequently showed up at my house inebriated. Judging by his reaction, he'd been just as in the dark as I was.

I placed a hand on his leg, leaning close enough to whisper in his ear, and he ducked his head in response. "You know he's gay, right?"

He pulled back, eyes widening. "What?"

Before we had a chance to continue the conversation, Naomi clinked her spoon against her glass to get our attention. "Now that everyone's here, I propose a toast!"

She gave us time to lift our glasses, a smile playing about her lips.

"To us," she started. "To the paths we've taken that have led us to this moment. We were all meant to find each other. You're my favorite people, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Duncan raised his eyebrows. "That was surprisingly eloquent, coming from you."

"Suck my dick, Fitzgerald," she said, smiling through gritted teeth. "Cheers to everyone else!"

We all clinked our glasses together, laughing. Conversation quickly began to swirl around the table, and I found myself thinking that Naomi was right. We were meant to find each other.

Look outside.

The text lit up my room as the hours crept toward midnight. I'd only gotten home from Culver's an hour ago, but I'd immediately gone to bed upon arrival, exhausted from the night out. I sat up straight, my heart racing as I peeled back the duvet and tiptoed toward my bedroom window, the floorboards creaking beneath me. I peered outside, nearly jumping out of my skin when I saw Will standing there, offering me a sheepish wave.

I shot him a wide-eyed look, before sliding my window open. "What are you doing here?" I whispered incredulously. It was possible he was still a little buzzed.

He shrugged. "Missed you. Can I come in?"

"We were together an hour ago."

"And?"

A grin stretched across my lips on its own accord. "I missed you, too."

As quietly as I could manage, I pushed the window open all the way, then carefully removed the screen, leaning it against the wall. Will climbed inside, replacing the screen, before turning to face me. He smelled of cologne, and a faint hint of sweat as he reached up to cup my face, tethering us together and pressing his lips to mine.

I smiled into the kiss, and we stumbled a little. A book slid off my nightstand, clattering to the floor, and we broke away from each other, assessing the damage.

"Shit," I hissed. "You know my family is here, right?"

"I can be quiet," he responded innocently. "They'll never know."

Shaking my head, I bit my lip to keep from grinning again. My heart was still pounding in my chest, exhilaration flowing through my veins. I felt like a teenager, sneaking a boy into my room. It didn't matter that we'd known each other for four years, and that we'd been together countless times before. Somehow, it felt brand new.

Taking my lack of protest as a green light, he kissed me again, easing us backward until we reached the softness of my duvet. Will lifted me into his arms, and I fought desperately to stifle a laugh as we collapsed back onto the bed. I landed on top of him, the mattress bouncing beneath our weight. We were still being too loud. I feigned seriousness, pressing a finger to my lips, and he mimicked me, though he wasn't able to stay somber for long.

His eyes glittered with mirth as I bent down to kiss him. His hands skated up my back, igniting shivers along my spine, as his fingers slipped beneath the straps of my camisole. I placed my hand on his chest, feeling his heart race beneath my palm. In spite of myself, I let things progress a little further, before pulling away, forcing a bit of space between us.

"Okay, seriously," I said. "My family is here."

"Fine," he conceded, winding one of my curls around his finger gently. "Can I stay?"

"Of course," I murmured.

As I settled in next to him, resting my head on his chest, he wrapped his arms around me, sighing heavily. "Someday, we won't have to say goodbye."

I smiled at the thought. "Someday."

We talked for a little while longer, until full sentences turned into sleepy mumbles, and heavy-lidded eyes fell closed as we drifted off. But before we did, my mind wandered once again to the imaginary thread coiled around the two of us. There was a point in my life when I thought it had broken, that we'd strayed too far away from each other, and it could never be repaired.

It was clear now that it had never been broken, and that it would continue to stretch on forever.

We were far from temporary, and we always had been. 

____

it feels so strange to write chapters in the present day that aren't angsty as fuck lol. anyway, we've got one chapter left!! :'( it'll most likely feel more like an epilogue. 

as always, please let me know your thoughts, and thank you so much for reading <3 

i'll do my best to update soon!