"Merry Christmas, Ros." Will whispers to me in the late morning of Christmas Day.

I turn my body over in the warmth of my bed and see Will lying next to me with a smile plastered across his face. "Merry Christmas." I tell him sleepily.

I yawn, stretch my arms up and flop them back on the bed. "Here you are..." Will mutters to me and passes me two presents.

I open the first present carefully trying not to crinkle the cheesy Christmas paper, and see it's a very expensive looking necklace. My mouth drops and soon a gasp escapes from me.

"Will-" I'm in shock.

"Merry Christmas." He leans down and is close to my face...

He was inches from me, I could feel his breath, I could practically hear his heartbeat...

The thought booms in my head. I gulp and lean out slightly. "What's this one?" I ask rattling the heavy and big present slightly, pretending I was never that close to him.

Inside was a frame of all of my favourite lyrics from David's songs. Lyrics which included Changes, Space Oddity, Life on Mars, Oh! You Pretty Things, Starman and of course... Rebel, Rebel.

"I thought, maybe we could put it in the baby's room, considering it'll have a Bowie name." He smiles and I couldn't have felt more touched.

He was so

"This is so sweet of you." I smile then pull him in for a warming hug.

He leans out awkwardly and from behind him passes me an envelope.

His smile turns upside down and his entire face turns glum.

I quiz his face then look down at the beautifully squiggled writing that read my name and address.

The thought of him made me smile wide and I quickly scramble to open the paper. Once opened, two pieces of long card fall but I dare not move my eyes from David's perfectly swirled writing.

I read it fast once, then slower, then again just to be sure...

"What's it say?" Will asks bluntly after a few minutes of quiet.

I lower the paper from my eye line, and look down at the pieces of card that were on my bed covers.

I pick them up in one hand, the letter in my other hand. "He's invited us to see him in concert."

"We can't go to America, that's-"

"It's in Brixton. Next week. New Years Eve. It's a small affair, only special guests are invited, but it's quite a casual thing he says..." I breathe my last words.

"Where is it?" He asks and I scan the tickets quickly and beam a smile.

"The White Horse pub..." I trail off then finish the sentence in my head:

I hadn't seen David in concert for so long, this would be my first time seeing him sing in front of me , singing to

I start to get giddy, but William does not share my excitement. "Will, what's the matter?"

"Nothing. Now get ready, we'll need to leave for your dad's soon." A huge pull strained my heart, it was odd to hear Will say that... It was odd for anyone to say 'my dad's' it used to be 'my parents'.

"Don't you want your present?" I ask.

Will's face softens then nods gently to me.

My present for Will wasn't a lot, but it should make him smile...

He opens the envelope and inside is the Christmas card I got him, and through the card, a black and white piece of paper slips down onto the warm and cosy bed.

He looks at it, and as hoped, smiled with joy. "And so the alien looks more like a baby now?" Will says then laughs slightly.

"No, it still looks like an alien..." I mutters and look at the photo with him. "I sent David's in the post a few days ago, he should get it today hopefully." I smile but Will turns bitter about it again.

"So me and David had the same Christmas present." It wasn't even a question, it was a

"Oh William," I tut. "Don't say it like that!" I pause then flash a smirk at his sulking face. "Do you want to know the gender?"

"You found out?" He says shocked and his facial expression shows that.

"Yeah, it was starting to annoy me that you and David were arguing on whether it was a boy or a girl." I giggle at the memory of my two boys arguing about the gender.

"I swear it's a girl and-"

"David got it right, I'm having a boy."

"A ?" He questions, I nod, then he suddenly smiles.

"Congratulations Ros." He whispers still smiling happily.

"Thank you."

"Does David know?" He asks trying to still smile, but it's clear the smile is now an act to keep me happy.

"Of course," I smirk. "he is the father, remember."

really

"Will, I-" I try to apologise. I knew how much William wanted to be the father figure, but I still had that hold on David.

"Get ready." He instructs and gets up from my bed. "We need to go soon."

"Sure, I uh-" I stutter. "I won't be long." Then smile falsely to Will and he leaves the room and heads downstairs.

***

"Merry Christmas!" Me and Will say to my dad and Henry who open the door together.

Henry's still in his traditional pyjamas that were getting too small for him now, and dad was dressed smartly, just like Will.

He shakes Will's hand and hugs me. "Lovely dress Rosalind, a present from Will?"

I blush. "No actually, a present from

Dad suddenly turns red in embarrassment and tries to laugh it off, Will just sulks, making it even more awkward for us all.

David had bought me a lot for Christmas, new, expensive clothes, new record player, and even a new bandana with many of his lyrics... Just like the picture frame Will got me for the baby's room.

"David rang me just this morning actually, to wish me a Happy Christmas." Dad smiles but I'm slightly shocked. "He sounded awfully rushed."

me?

I sit down on the sofa and give my dad and Henry their presents, in return I receive mine.

The atmosphere was dull and I knew why...

"Should we eat?" Dad says after thanking for for his new jumper, shirt and tie.

"Yeah!" The 12 year old shouts. "Thanks for the pyjamas, Ros." He smiles then hugs me tightly.

"C'mon then." Will says and pulls me and my bump up from the sofa.

***

Dinners conversation was just normal chat, Henry gave me the long list of presents he had received from dad and then I watched the snow fall.

"Henry, go get your coat on, the snow looks like it's sticking." Dad says putting his own coat on. "Ros, Will, care to join us in a snowball fight?"

"Best not," I huff then rub my tummy. "Don't think my little boy will appreciate that."

"What?" Henry asks.

"Did dad not tell you? I'm having a boy." I smile to him.

"Did I forget to tell you, Henry?" He pauses.

There's a silence for a minute. "Go get your coat on." I tell Henry strictly and he runs off without a word.

"You're getting awfully forgetful lately dad, are you ok?" I ask worriedly.

"Yes, Rosalind. I'm

"Go outside with Henry, I'll clear up." I tell dad and he smiles and takes Henry and Will outside to play in the snow.

Tidying away was usually one of the most hated jobs at Christmas, but I didn't mind it now, it used to be mums job.

Washing meant overthinking, thinking of mum, David, the baby, Ellen, Abby, Larry in the bar... Then suddenly a tap sounds at my front door.

The sound drags me back to reality and away from the deep thoughts and I wipe my wet hands with a dry towel and go to the door.

I open it slowly and see the crooked smile, the cigarette burning the cold air, the trench coat. The white snowflakes that fell peacefully onto his head and shoulders, it was the perfect setting with the perfect man.

"David." I breathe.

"Merry Christmas, little Rebel." He smiles and pulls me close.

"Merry Christmas, Starman." I smile and lean up just to reach his small, perfect lips.