" What would happen if you tried the pregnancy rest."

My upper lip curled slightly, my curls fell out over nick's shoulder and bicep. His arm was across the pillow, cushioning my neck, " it'd come up negative."

" okay. You should try one." He stated.

I turned my head up slightly, to look at him, " I'll try the test if you stick the banana up your ass."

" mhm." He said, with a nod. Then he shook his head, " uh-uh. Nope, I'm not about that life."

" you have the lube." I teased, a smirk playing my lips.

He groaned, " please don't put that mental picture in my head."

Laughing, I said, " already did, Arson."

Suddenly he snapped, " what if I color in the coloring book and you try the pregnancy test."

" Arson."

He looked down at me, " yeah?"

" not happening."

Nick sighed, and rolled his eyes, " fine, be that way."

" unless." I exaggerated, rolling away from him and off the bed.

He sat up, propping himself up on one arm, " unless?"

" you try one too."

He faked disappointment, " damn angel, you only bought a one."

" actually." Digging around in the target bag, I produced a box, " pack of four."

He stood and walked over to me, grabbing the box and opening it, " let's do this."

Crossing my arms, " you're serious?"

Nick looked down at the box, reading all of the intructions in taking in the full detail of the picture. He sighed, " Plus sign means positive, minus sign means you're baby free."

" Alright, break two out."

He opened the box and handed me one of the little packages. With a soft smile, he cooed, " Ladies first."

" Age before beauty." I replied, with an amused smile.

" Brains before brawn."

" alright." I shrugged, and started towards the bathroom.

He laced his brows together. Then his face fell, " ha ha."

I shot him a cheesy smile before shooting him a cheesy grin. After I had managed to, awkwardy mind you, urinate on the stick, I nearly squealed when it showed a minus sign, " No children for me!"

Nick frowned, " You must be a virgin."

I punched his arm, " The hell I am now pee on the test."

He rolled his eyes and started to unzip his pants. My eyes went wide eyed before I turned around, the image of black boxerbrief material imprinted on the back of my eyelids. Shutting the door, I waited for him to finish. Though I wasn't worried about being pregnant, I was silently relieved I wasn't.

When Nick opened the door, his eyebrows were knitted together and a tight frown had etched it's way into his lips, " are you fucking kidding me."

Looking at the score I saw a solid plus sign: +.

Throwing my head back, laughter bubbled up my throat and floated into the air, only adding to Nick's self pity party. He shook his head, tossing the test into the trash and washing his hands, " that's impossible, absolutely impossible."

" Do you think it's a boy or a girl?" I asked, having to wrap an arm around my mid-section, " Or maybe, maybe it's twins!" I leaned back against the small counter. The only way this could get any better was if he actually had a kid.

He groaned, and flicked a clump of soap at me, " oh shut up, maybe you read the box wrong." Then he mumbled, " I can't even have kids."

" Which is why it's so funny." I replied, still giggling. I stroked my fingers through my hair, pulling out the little soap bubbles that had rested at the tips of the blond strands.

He wiped his hands on his towel before pushing past me and heading towards the driver's seat, " This blows. How is that even possible; I'm a guy!?"

I fell into the passenger seat and shrugged, " Maybe the tests are faulty. They were pretty cheap.."

" Still sucks." He grumbled.

buckling my seatbelt, I replied, " you're cute when you're whiny."

" you think I'm cute." He said, with a proud, yet cheesy, smile.

Rolling my eyes, I turned to the window, taking in the scenery laid across the earth, " Only sometimes."

Nick chuckled, " but you can't doubt that I'm handsome."

" Oh no, can't doubt that." I said, teasingly, " someone calling you ugly? worse than the holocaust."

Casually, he replied, " I heard hitler was gay."

This caused me to choke on my own spit, which earned me a worried look from Nick, and ultimately made me realize that the internet had fabricated lies like no other. Collecting myself, I replied, " and where did you hear that?"

" Internet, angel. where else?" He shrugged, " Doesn't matter, I know it's not true. And it made for some really funny stories between Jericho and I."

" I bet." I replied, with an elongated sigh.

Turning my attention back out the window, I soaked up the sun before the clouds completely obscured it from my view. I leaned my forehead against the glass and said, " Think it'll rain?"

casting a quick glance to the clouds above, Nick replied, " Probably."

A part of me hoped he was right; rain would be nice. We could sit in the van with the electricity off again, and we could light those little candles that seemed to come out of nowhere - I pinned this as a part of Nick's neverending ability to be prepared. The other part of me said no rain, just sun. That part wanted to feel in on my skin, wanted the heat to seep straight to my bones. Either way I wasn't going to be fully satisfied with the weather, " Do you want it to?"

" Rain?"

" snow, Arson. do you want it to snow." I deadpanned.

" Oh um." He sat in a little bubble of thought before saying, " not really. The roads would royally suck in the event that it snowed."

I nearly slapped myself too hard, " I was being sarcastic. Yes rain."

" Oh. In that case, yes."

" Why?"

He smiled slightly, flashing a bit of pearly white teeth, " I don't know, I like rain I guess."

" Fascinating." I mumbled, playing with the tips of my hair.

While the silence settled around us, Nick turned up the radio and flicked through the stations. Nothing life-altering or body moving was on, so we settled with a small station that played sweet little nothings of songs; the kind of songs that made your heart constrict just a bit, but not enough to make you cry.

• • •

" god this is boring." I groaned, pushing my head back against the seat. It had been hours, the sun itself was finding homage in the west side of the horizon.

Nick hummed thoughtfully, before smirking, " tell me about your boy toy. What was it... Gavin, maybe?"

" ugh. He's not my boy toy, Arson. Just a friend." I replied, waving my hand at his childishness.

Arching a brow suggestively, he said, " Just a friend? You mean that kiss meant nothing?"

" It was a game." Then, a little light bulb popped up above my head, " Well, maybe Gavin and I are a possibility. But what about you and Ellie? I can really see that going somewhere."

" Oh please. The only thing she wants is dick, and she isn't afraid to admit it." He replied, following the road as it bent left.

" So?" I replied, naturally, " You have a dick, don't you? or is there something you're not telling me?"

" no no, I have a... dammit Angel, really? anyways, I don't want a relationship purely based on sex. it's..... basically highschool." He replied, frowning.

I blew a blond strand out of my face, " well, she was pretty. I mean, her eyes practically sparkled. And her hair was all volumous..... oh and her eyebrows? on fleek."

" Did you just say fleek?"

" No." I said, smiling, " you did."

he rolled his eyes, and huffed, somehow, under his breath, " Sue me." Then, " Okay, so eyebrows like damn. But, seriously, you and Gavin. I can almost see it."

" Yeah, but if you like me shouldn't you be jealous not encouraging?" I replied, teasingly.

He frowned, scowling at the highway, " On the inside, Angel. But on the outside, I'm a very good friend that is always open to giving relationship device."

" Ha!" I said, slapping my knee, " If I ever need relationship advice, I am not coming to you."

" why's that?"

" When's the last time you had a steady girlfriend?" I noted, voice falling flat.

Nick shrugged, " I don't know. I just don't really get caught up with people, that's all."

" Yeah, well neither do I but I can at least make a relationship last." I retorted, my upper lip curling just slightly.

" I can make a relationship last, I just choose not to." He replied, almost sounding offended.

" Mmhmm. Sure."

He shot me an unamused look, " I'm serious. I just don't get close to people, not like that."

" Why? what's the worst that could happen? They break up with you?" I replied, getting a little peeved at this point. People were people, you couldn't avoid them no matter how hard you tried. He might as well get over himself and accept the flood of pedestrians.

" they could die." he replied, tone flatlining.

I huffed through my nose, " What are the chances of that? one in a million?"

" Two people on a fucking boat, that's the chances."

I sat up straighter, " we're talking about relationships, not your parents."

" they're the reason I don't do relationships." He replied, voice tightening a notch.

" You're going to let them decide your love life? Really?" I nearly hissed. My cheeks started to heat with anger; I couldn't keep my eyebrows from knitting together in confusion and madness.

He scoffed, a not-amused smile hinting at his lips just briefly, " Are you fucking kidding me?

" No, actually. Why would you let them control your relationships? That's.... stupid." For lack of better wording.

Nick shook his head slightly, " Sure, leave it to you to not give a flying fuck about how that kind of shit may have affected the way I look on relationships, on children, on fucking life itself."

" excuse me. It's not like I don't understand the feeling. My parents are gone too, remember? I didn't let that decide who I am and what I like and who I go out with, did I? so why do you?" I spat back, the tension burning the air between us was visible at this point.

It almost felt good, like getting a weight off my chest; one that had settled there as soon as my grandma passed. I didn't want to take it out on Nick -he didn't deserve it- but he was right there, right at the time my anger decided to spike. And even more convienant, his anger spiked too.

" It's a bit different Angel. Last I remember, you don't actually know if your parents are dead. At least you can tell yourself that they might still be alive somewhere. You don't have the exact location of their graves burnt into your head like a fucking brand!" He replied, his eyebrows pulled together and a frown etching so hard into his lips I thought it would stick forever. His voice was pulled tight with both the pain of remembrance and the boiling heat that anger brought.

Another scoff, " what a fucking pity. At least your parents didn't choose to leave you! Mine had a choice, they didn't have to leave but they did! Why the hell would they think that's okay! Dammit Arson think about it before saying that's better!" Now I could feel it; a fist clenching so tightly around my hair that, by the time it was done squeezing, it was a raisin. It was emotional oblivion ripping open those very holes each loss had so graciously dug into me. I could feel the ghost of every organ I was straining to replace. It was cold, and warm, all at once.

Nick's breath was strained as he watched me, the anger flushing from his features and something new taking it's place. It didn't matter at this point; I was angry anymore, I was done.

Unbuckling myself, I climbed out of the passenger seat and to the back of the van. Somewhere along the lines Nick had parked, and we had just sat, buckled into our seats, yelling at each other. I didn't want to yell at him; he was the very person who held me when I felt my lowest, the very person who made me laugh when their was no one else their to even make me smile. And I had just screwed his parents and his image on them.

God, sometimes I was a bitch.

Walking out of the van, I slammed the door behind me and climbed up the little ladder on the side of the vehicle. Gathering myself on the roof, I sat on the edge, my legs crossed and my face getting sprinkled by a light rain.

As I sat there, the rain got harder. It grew to the point where I was soaked to the bone, and every last piece of existance on my frame had somehow clogged with water. That's when Nick came up and sat next to me.

Just as fast as his legs hung over the side, he was covered in water too. His black hair had strands coming out from under his water-consistant batman beanie, his eyelashes held small droplets, each little colection of rain falling onto his cheeks like tears. To be honest, they might have been. I still don't know.

His shoulders slouched just slightly, the weight of everything that had happened pulling him down just as much as it pulled me. He said, softly, " I think it's better for you, because you can grow from it. You can decide that 'okay, they were done then so am I'. I can't do that. I can just know that they didn't think about me and realize that even though they cared, they never called. They just drowned, leaving me behind. I can't gain from that; all I can do is lose part of myself."

" your organs." I replied, refering to his metaphor.

He nodded, " yeah, my organs."

Rolling my lips together, I replied, " with you, i'm scared. I'm scared that I'll lose you like I lost them. I'm scared you'll choose to leave me and I'll officially be alone. and it sucks because it's only with you. I'm afraid, very, very afraid, of losing just you."

Tilting his head to look at me, He said, " I'm not going anywhere."

A small smile touched my lips, and I leaned against him. He was warm, even despite the chill on top of his skin, he was warm. wrapping an arm around me, he said, " come on, let's go inside. I don't want you to catch a cold."

He stood and helped me to my feet, climbing down the ladder first then following me inside. After we changed, seperately mind you, He wrapped a blanket around my shoulder and pushed a few strands of wet hair out of my face.

I sat on the couch, and crossed my legs, while Nick prepared us each a bowl of soup. He handed it to me, and I cupped it gently in my hands. The steam slid off the surface and licked at my cheeks and nose, heating up my lips. Nick sat next to me, on the floor, his head rested against my knee.

With my spoon, I slurped a bite of soup, and said, " I'm sorry."

He shrugged. But I wasn't done, " Nick, I mean it. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have called you out on your parents like that. You have every right to be wary about relationships and children, even though you'd make an amazing father, and it's okay. I know it's hard, and I probably do have it easier in the end. But we both have a problem and we'll work together to fix them, okay? I can't do this on my own and even though you probably can, you shouldn't have to."

The blanket covering my knee slid away from the skin, and Nick turned his head, resting his lips against it. His words were soft, as he said, " I probably can, but I don't want to. We'll go through life together, yeah? pull each other up when we're done, that kind of thing."

I smiled, " i wouldn't have it any other way."

Finishing my soup, he took our bowls to the sink and rinsed them out. The full decor of the van still amazed me, especially the way it seemlessly broke physics with it's epicness. Nick fell onto the couch, his legs propped up on one arm of it, his head rested on my blanket-covered thigh, " Angel, have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

" i'm afraid so." I replied, with a small sigh.

He smiled, " good. I should tell you more often."

" why's that?"

" Because it's true."

I snickered softly, " classic."

He shrugged, " honesty." Then he added, " they shouldn't have left you."

" you've said that before."

reaching up, he took my hand in his, pulling it to him chest where he could play with my fingers, " I know. It's just.... they shouldn't have. You're truly amazing, and I can't believe they decided to miss that."

" me either." I replied, lacing my fingers with his.

He looked up at me, smokey grey eyes practically rolling, " I'm glad I can see it though."

" Oh?" I arched my brows.

" yeah." He smiled, " you've kind of changed my life."

I smiled back, " good."

We untangled ourselves, brushed our teeth -where I had no intention of spitting my toothpaste in his hair-, I brushed out my locks and Nick changed. When I walked into the room he was shirtless, and I was struck again by how well he was put together. Pulling on a white t-shirt with a small v-neck, he tossed his beanie onto his boots and fell onto the bed. I sort of marveled at the way his hair got all messy on the pillowcase.

Laying next to him, I rested my head on his shoulder. Like he'd done the movement a thousand times, and maybe he had at this point, he slid his arm around me, a position where I naturally cuddled into his side. I didn't mind. It felt so familiar by now that it almost felt weird not to lay with him.

He kissed my forehead, and I didn't protest this time because I liked the fact that we weren't staying caught up in a fight. Nick was still Nick and he was still one of the dearest people I had in my life. Quietly, he said, " Goodnight Angel."

I whispered back, " Goodnight Nick."