♡

Christmas was just around the corner. Blair loved this season so much. It was cold, but not too cold. There were loads of sales in the shops and you could drink hot cacao at every corner of the street. New York had something magical, but also something devastatingly painful. You were always on your own in the city. Never alone, but always on your own. The annual Christmas Eve party was planned months in advance by Lily and Rufus. Blair already had shopped for a dress and matching jewerly from Henri Winston and Tiffany & Co. Blair and Serena had already decorated their rooms with thousands of christmas lights. It made her feel happier, maybe she really had let go of the loneliness in her heart.

4 months, it has been 124 days since Chuck came back with Eva. They were still together. Chuck recently had bought a new hotel, Eva was now the CEO of her own foundation, something about helping kids in Africa. She was as beautiful as ever. The whole crowd in the room turned to look at her when she entered with her boyfriend. Maybe Eva was really good after all. Blair had tried to make her go away ofcourse, with scheming, blackmailing,.. But Eva didn't care enough to even tell Chuck. She just brushed it off like it was nothing. Blair knew Chuck was happy. Maybe she finally could find peace in that.

When it was time to leave for the party, Blair told herself that she wouldn't be jealous anymore. That she wouldn't be so sad anymore. Christmas was all about love anyway. She needed to accept that he loved Eva. She had to focus on the positive things. Blair was so excited for Serena to open the present she bought for her BFF. An awesome and exclusive trip to Bora Bora for 2 persons. She didn't buy it with the intention of going with her. That Brooklyn boy would go with her, and she was happy for S. She deserved it to have such a nice present from Blair. For Lily and Rufus she bought 2 perfumes, for Nate she bought a new Boss suit, for Eric a new Macbook, for Jenny a brand new bag from her fav designer. For her mom she bought a complete set of high-fashion dresses and for Cryus a book about birds and the oceans. She had for every one of them a nice present. She even bought something for Eva. A bracelet with little flowers on it, beautiful and gorgeous just like the girl who would wear it. She didn't know what to buy for C. Anything felt too personal. She was searching her drawers for something since it was already 7 pm and since she forgot she had to buy him something too. (She didn't really forget it, she just avoided it.) She found at the bottom of one of her drawers a photo. It was taken on Serena's birthday, they were both smiling and her head was laying on his shoulder. She decided it was not because he was with Eva, they couldn't be friends anymore right? She obviously didn't want Eva to know this was her present for Chuck. That's why she put the photo in a little frame. She wrote on the backside of it: "Never out of my heart, friends?" Before she thought about the possible consequences of this, she wrapped it up (& wrote on it, open when alone) and went downstairs to go with her mom and Cyrus to the party.

She felt so stupid at the party. Why did she even write that on the photo? Chuck and Eva hadn't arriverd yet and she was sitting on the couch. So lonely. Serena was talking to Dan, her mom and Cyrus were talking and laughing with Lily and Rufus, even Nate was kissing his new girlfriend and Jenny and Eric were cooking. She wouldn't be sad today. She wouldn't cry today. No, she was much stronger than that.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She didn't need to turn, she knew only with his touch who he was.

"Merry Christmas, Blair" Chuck said with a little smile on his lips. "Hey" she said with much more force than meant. "Hello everyone" Chuck said to everyone in the room. "Where's Eva?" Dan asked and Blair couldn't think about anything else than that hand on her shoulder. He walked to the couch and sat down. Next to her. Next to her! He chose to sit here down, not anywhere else. "Well Eva felt a little sick. She really wanted to come but she was laying in bed and I insisted she should stay home. She was sleeping anyway". Blair stared at his shoes. She didn't know where to look at. When everyone turned back to their own conversations, Chuck smiled and told her she was beautiful. Blair turned red and a little laugh escaped her mouth. Even after all this time, he still made her feel like that. Vulnerable, but oh so good. Loved and like she was the only girl in the world.

But she was not. She was just his ex. They started to talk about Christmas and about NYU. "Remember that one time when we caught Miss Markle with that loser boy in class!" They laughed and laughed and more and more she felt better and stronger. Chuck phone rang just as Lily asked to start eating. It was Eva. Blair was sitting across Chuck and she swore for one second he raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. "Yes sweetheart? What? You have to be kidding me? Why would you do that now? Without telling me? Okay, okay. See you in 2 weeks then! I can't believe you!" Blair turned her head and listened to the conversation. She felt so curious. Chuck laid his phone down and sighed deeply. "Everything okay with her?" Blair asked quietly. "Well... she suddenly has booked a ticket to Paris for 2 weeks. She suddenly missed her family? I cannot believe her! She acts like she's sick and she just steps on a plane to Europe!" Blair couldn't help but feel happy. "It will be fine, maybe she just needed to go away on her own. I'm sure she has a good reason for this". Chuck raised one eyebrow and despite his irritation towards Eva 10 seconds ago, he laughed and said: "Don't try to act like that, i know your happy she's gone for the holidays". "I'm not! How could you say such a thing Chuck Bass?" She laughed with him and winked at him. He winked back. What was that supposed to mean? "After all this time, I still know you better than anyone." With that being said, they started to go to the buffet table and started dining.

After dinner it was time for the presents. Everyone was very happy with theirs when Blair gave it to them. Serena and her mom and Rufus had bought her a new Henri Bendel exclusive handbag. She got also a year long free macaroons from Nate and from Dan and Jenny and Eric she got a lot of clothes and shoes from Louis Vuitton. She said politely thank you to them all, but nothing reached her heart and made her really happy. Ofcourse she loved every present she got, but she wasn't really touched by it. In front of Chuck, was a little white box laying on the table. "Eva told me to give this to you, she wanted to get you something too." Blair smiled at the little box, how stupid of her to think that Chuck would buy her something.

Inside the box a beautiful pair of earrings were shining in the light. "Oh, she shouldn't have done that! They are really beautiful". She told Chuck that he should say thank you from her to Eva. Everyone had handed out their presents. Well, almost everybody. She was still holding her present for Chuck. Only when everyone was drinking coffee and not paying attention to Chuck and Blair, she placed the little gift in his hands. "For you. Please only open it when you are alone. And at home". Chuck looked at her with that mysterious look he gave her when she was up to something. "Our sextape?" Blair rolled her eyes and laughed. Despite it all, she was still happy he could make her laugh.

As on cue, he also put a little gift on her lap. It was in the shape of a little heart. Her heart jumped out of her chest. "What is it?" He smiled and told her it was something small but close to his heart. This chemistry between them could be felt in the whole room. Serena was watching them as she poked her boyfriend in the ribs. "Look at them. They are so in love with each other, but both too strubbon to admit it". Dan agreed with her. Blair was not paying attention to them at all. She was staring in Chuck's eyes and he was in hers. Her heart screamed "I love you" and she hoped he could read her thoughts through her eyes.

As everyone was saying goodbye, she knew the party was over. She didn't want to leave. The night had been great. After their little exchange of gifts, Jenny had put on some lit music and they had all started to dance to it. She wasn't thinking about all her worries when she was dancing and swaying her hips to the music. She simply enjoyed it. Chuck had come dance with her and they had great fun, even when a slow, sad song came on. He had put his arms around her hips and her arms were laying on his shoulders. They knew better than anyone that they shouldn't have done it. But they did, because it felt too familiar to let go of one another. She smiled at him when she stepped in the elevator with Cyrus and her mom. And he smiled back.

Only when she was laying in her bed, she dared to look at the present he gave her. She slowly opened it. A sob escaped. Her eyes were suddenly full of tears and she didn't dare to close them, because if she did, she was sure she would cry all night long. In front of her, on her silk blanket, a little heartshaped box with her favorite headband was laying inside. She loved that headband. She loved the memories that came in her mind when she saw the headband. She lifted the headband and almost immediately she brought it to her nose, it still smelled like them. Underneath the headband a little note was laying. "You and me. Forever and always. -CB". She held the note and the headband close to her heart and felt asleep.

All I ever wanted was you. I love you.

Chuck had opened the gift from the moment he was alone in Serena's house. He couldn't help but smile when he saw the photo. He remembered what he was thinking when that photo had been taken. This girl is mine, i'll never let her go. If he had known what the futur had to bring for them then, he would never caused all this hurt and problems in her life. Still, the note was far more important. He loved that he knew now that he wouldn't ever go out of her heart. Ofcourse all he wants is to be friends with her. More, more than friends. Chuck's phone vibrated. It was Eva. He couldn't care less.

Eva was great. But not nearly as great as Blair. Eva just left for 2 weeks! He asked himself if he could survive without her? Sure. Now he asked himself the same question with instead of Eva, Blair. If Blair left for two weeks, he wouldn't even think twice, before stepping on a plane to find her. Maybe it was time to stop playing around. Blair was his everything. And he needed to make that clear to her. He spent the whole night trying to come up with a way to tell B and to end things as carefully with E. Althought he wasn't really sure if Eva ever would come back. Lately she had been so distant and so unimpressed by him. The sex was awful too and she just looked so bored everyday with him. When the sun started to sprinkle gold over the tall, magnificent buildings of the never sleeping city, home, he had figured it all out. For the first time in months, he went to sleep with a peaceful heart filled with love for B. And B woke up a few minutes later, with the same love in her heart for C.

.

Up next:

Chapter 4: Everlasting Empire.

♡