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vii. The Lemon Tree Lies Still

estate the moment the Sun has responded to the Earth's calling. The girl gazed at the new landscape of the Basilwether's grounds, wearing the solid shades of a noble blood on the dress she made with her own hands.

The sooner she was near, the more anger she felt.

As the wooden doors opened, Tewkesbury revealed himself with the coldest gaze that caused her heart to slightly ache. She forced a smile.

"Tewkesbury," she called and nodded in greeting. He repeated the gesture and walked towards her, offering his arm. She looped her hands on his as her eyes darted everywhere in the room.

"I see a lot has changed." She commented. The home of the young lord really did improved, but he just lowered down. Y/N cleared her throat upon realising that he bore no response. She then turned her head to him, her heart leaping with nerve and anxiety as she spoke again, "So did you."

She clicked her tongue and stopped in her track, "Quite the improvement."

The sarcasm caught him off guard. A sigh escaped his lips as he shook his head. "I haven't changed a bit."

"And he protests. Of course, he would," she replied in silence and looked away. Her shoes made a noise; a signal that they must resume the walk.

Soon, they made it to the back garden of the enormous place, they awkwardly stood in front of a lemon tree.

Silence. No one dared to speak as they just stared at the standing art of nature, painted with the brightest shades of yellow and honey. Y/N couldn't help but feel jittery about the silence for all she knew it wasnt a good sign.

Normally, Tewkesbury would either kiss the back of her hand or tease her just like they always did whenever they're with each other. Perhaps that was when they were younger . . . a bit younger.

She bit her lip and ignored the lump that was forming in her throat. The benefit of the doubt might make it fade away. The girl clutched the fabric that made up her dress. She took a deep breath and looked at her lover, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I have yet to hear the answer to my last correspondence," Y/N started.

He couldn't look at her. His eyes was taking interest in the tree, resting his hands behind him like a proper man. The young lord cleared his throat, "Do you know what this tree means?"

"Disappointment," Y/N simply answered with the venom tinged in her voice. "If I may be too forward, I dare say it is the right interpretation of my feelings at the moment."

Tewkesbury slightly turned to her, still unable to meet her gaze. "How so?"

She didn't answer that question. "Look at me and ask me that again."

He did.

"Why in the bloody ribbons are we talking about a lemon tree?" Her tone wasn't as sweet nor as gentle as any rhythm he's ever heard from a ballad. It was burning. Fiery.

She was angry— if that wasn't so evident before.

All he did was speak in his mind, not with his mouth, and it wasn't treasured at all by the girl beside him. "So you're not going to say anything? Just like how you perfectly did it for a month and a half?" She asked. This was the last of her marbles to fiddle.

"You're using this damn tree to stall this conversation. Why did you not bother to write back to me? More than a thousand hours of chances were given to you — more than a thousand hours of me waiting for your damned responses yet you never acknowledged that! You didn't dare open your mouth to tell me about it the first time I stepped in this estate once again!" Ah, what a woman scorned.

Her nose was slowly becoming red and puffy as her eyes were practically the same. The girl bit her lip in frustration. Her glossy irises started boring on his own earthly ones.

"You're shouting. You should calm down," he finally answered.

She waited for a few seconds to let him continue what he was saying but nothing came out of his mouth. The girl scoffed. "You're telling me to calm down? What is this, Tewkesbury? Is this just a joke to you? Is my anger just a joke to you?"

"Anger is a serious emotion. I wouldn't take it the opposite way such as a jest." His tone was oddly calm, but there was a tremble in his voice. Y/N has yet to pick his brain.

"Look at you now," she replied in faux awe, "so high and dignified. You did do your duties right. I didn't know your capability of emotions is the price."

"That's enough."

"Why enough when I haven't gotten any answers?"

"Y/N."

"Oh? You know my name? That's a relief. I figured you'd forgotten it. That may have been the reason why I haven't received anything. Or was it replaced?" She taunted bitterly. "'Oh, my dearest Lisette, let me state my vows — " Unfortunately, the same as the girl's, that was the last of Tewkesbury's patience.

"Why can't I leave you without a letter for a month?! Be grateful I still sent you many before! Do you have any idea how many people out there must wait for a letter to arrive after half a year? Is this how selfish you are?"

"I'm not selfish! Unlike them, you're nearer, and a letter from you could get to me within a week. I worry for you, day and night! Never have I missed a second to long for you, Tewkesbury!" She took a deep audible sharp breath, her chest heaving up and down as she repeated the words in a tone of defeat, "I longed for you."

"You are the reason I have indulged myself trying to learn the plants and herbs you seem to get lost in. I wanted you to appreciate me again once you've returned!" She continued.

"I waited for you. You didn't even — " Y/N was suddenly interrupted by the boy.

"I waited for you too! I have endured being in company of myself for almost a year, Y/N! I spent my Christmas and my birthday locked up in my room thinking of you! I was alone. I had no company! Your letters were there, but they were always late. It was insufferable to keep thinking about whether it was forced or were you just occupied. Stop making this all about you when I have suffered the very same!" He yelled.

The volume of his voice were like knives that stabbed her from the back through the heart and returning to pierce everything left of her body.

"Alone?" She asked, nodding passive-aggressively. "You were not alone, Tewkesbury! You were with that girl. You wrote to me about her! I doubt you were alone!"

"I never even spoke to her! She kept invading my privacy. I did nothing with her! I said nothing and thought nothing of her!"

"Then how did you change? What made you change? You've been deader than a corpse in a Napoleonic War, and if not dead, you're a numb body that I keep shaking to wake but wouldn't respond. What happened to you? That's all I want to know!"

"Why does it matter?"

"Because I care for you! Is that now obvious enough? Have I not made it clear for you before?" Her fingers found their way to brush her disheveled hair, "I care for you deeply, and I would have understood if you just told me why. Why you never responded the way you used to and why you haven't sent me a letter for a month? Those words you've uttered to me when we were under the stars; were those true or — "

"I wasn't even serious about that!"

Upon hearing that, Y/N's face became so pale and softer that he couldn't even described if she saw a ghost. Her heart shattered to millions of pieces as the butterflies in her stomach died down and were replaced by a hot painful feeling.

"What?" Her voice was quieter. Fragile. The hot tears began to stream down her cheeks. The boy didn't speak as she stared at him with scrutinising eyes.

"No, no, no. I'm sorry — I didn't mean that — "

She slightly laughed in a sardonic manner, "Which bit?"

"Y/N, please . . . " He fumbled as she started to walk away.

The girl's breath got caught in her throat while she sobbed loudly. She turned to him.

"Too much for planning the future, huh?" She questioned. As soon as those words escaped her lips, she gave him one last glance before turning again and leaving with a heavy shattered heart.

She knew there's something bad that's going to happen, but she didn't expect something like this.

One should guess there is no such thing as eternity. For the girl who believed in it once was left to walk on the scalding hot fire of her own lethal journey with no one and nothing else but a compilation of bittersweet memories.