《Pretending》Chapter Thirteen: Warner Brooks Charity Project
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My skull feels like it weighs a ton. I can't breathe like I literally can't. My lungs feel like they're being compressed by a ton of weight. Quickly springing into panic mode, I wrench my eyes open and try to wriggle out from beneath the weight, all while battling the headache from hell.
Someone grunts near me and I freeze. My hands stop shoving something that feels like a wall of steel and I scoot closer to the edge of the bed.
What on earth?
"Is that how you wake people up?" Warner groans next to me, finally removing his arm from over my torso.
Warner. Arm. Torso. Bed. My Bed.
I let out a shriek loud enough to wake my neighbours.
"You forgot I was here didn't you?" A very, shirtless Warner yawns and stretches out. My eyes are pivoted to his extremely shirtless body, fixating on his rippling muscles and defined stomach. How is it possible to look this good, first thing in the morning? Even his hair looks perfect and it hasn't been touched by a brush.
"Yeah, I think that's it." Struggling to breathe, I look away. The bed creaks, telling me that he has gotten up.
"You can look now, I'm decent."
He sounds smug, a little too smug for my taste but it's deserved. He knows I've been checking him out. Heck, every girl he meets must check him out. How do you not do that, with someone who looks as good as he does? I'm not blind; I'm a teenager with hormones.
"How much did I drink last night?" I groan.
I have visions of James Stone and Sierra. Slashing Sierra's tires.
"I tried to get you to stop but you said it was part of the experience." He snorts and settles down next to me. He pries my hands away from my face and makes me look at him. All the while, I am alternating between the urge to puke and battling a sure-fire heart attack. Being near Warner does weird things to me, I swear.
"What's the point of getting drunk If I can remember every stupid thing I did under the influence!"
"You didn't do anything stupid. You finally stood up for yourself and I think that rocks."
I look at the determined expression on his face. I realize yesterday I did things I have always wanted to do. I stood up to a guy who used to make me feel like I was worthless. I was myself in front of the whole high school instead of being the shy, quiet, meek Juliet. I did something incredibly reckless, I slashed the tires of Sierras car but it made me feel good so I let it pass.
"You're right, I did sort of rock yesterday didn't I?"
He chuckles and gets up to leave before weirdly giving me one last look over.
I go to my own ensuite; ready to shower till I turn into a prune but something makes me freeze.
Please don't let it be true.
Shutting my eyes I turn on my heels so that I'm standing right in front of my full-length mirror. It's not my bird nest hair that's causing me to turn beetroot red, nor is it the mascara smeared all over my face. What is absolutely mortifying is the fact that I'm not wearing any pants!
Oh My God.
I slept in the same bed with Warner Brooks and forgot to wear pants. Someone, please fetch the cyanide.
After showering and washing all of yesterday's grime off, I get dressed but when I head downstairs I find Warner downstairs, whistling as he cooks. What was he still doing here?
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Trying to be noiseless, I tiptoe down to him. His back is turned towards me and I can tell he's making coffee.
"How much sugar do you take in this?"
Well so much for being sneaky.
"Just black is fine" I could never waste daily calories on liquid calories, at least that is what my mom always taught me.
Speaking of her, where was she? Shouldn't she be concerned about me having a boy sleepover?
When he settles the coffee in front of me, I all but gulp it down in one go. The heat is welcome and the caffeine does wonders for my pounding head.
"Here, you need to take these, but not on an empty stomach."
"Why are you being so nice to me?" The words that were meant to be thoughts in my head are accidentally blurted out loud.
The comment seems to make him sad for a moment but he says nothing. Instead of replying, he pushes a bottle of Tylenol towards me along with water. Even the thought of food makes me queasy.
Beyond embarrassed by the fact that I slept half-dressed with him, I can't even look at Warner. He is humming to himself whilst he cooks, definitely in a good mood which shows that he wasn't affected by my lack of clothes at all. I didn't need to bring it up; he'll just think I'm immature. He's probably been with a lot of half-naked girls.
This particular thought makes me want to throw up more than the idea of food.
As if he hears my thought he places a giant breakfast in front of me. There are hashbrowns, eggs, bread and bacon in a pile.
God this man was trying to make me fat again I swear.
"I hope that's not all for Juliet." My mom's nasally voice cuts in at the perfect time. Of course, she isn't around when I am drunk, pantless with a boy in my bed but once she smells grease she comes running.
I can tell Warner feels the same way I do about my mother.
"Of course it is," he says matter of factly.
"Oh, Warner you are so sweet. But Juliet isn't the kind of girl who can eat stuff like this." She is trying to remain sweet because she loves Warner. I know that she is probably ecstatic that he is here. Just not so ecstatic about him trying to give me breakfast with more calories than she eats in a day.
With one look at Warner and his clenched jaw I know I had to deescalate the situation.
"Okay well bye, Warner, thank you for breakfast but my mom and I have some errands to run." I have to practically push him towards the door because I know he wants to say something to my mom.
I close the front door behind us and let out a sigh. "Thank you for last night Warner."
Warner looks annoyed and like he wants to say more but I think he knows it isn't his place. He gives me a weak smile and then walks to his car. I don't look back, I just close the door behind me and see my mom scraping all of the food Warner made into the garbage can.
"It was a nice thought but we can't let ourselves get into bad habits like this. I can make you a nice green smoothie." She smiles at me and I fake one back. Now all I want is those greasy hashbrowns and even if I couldn't admit it out loud it was mostly because Warner made them for me.
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______________________
My heart is pounding along with my footsteps on the pavement as I run. My mom convinced me that I should go on a run around town to 'prepare for thanksgiving dinner'. Of course, what that really meant was that I needed to run off any extra calories I was going to eat tonight.
I finally get to the town center and that meant I could finally slow down. Warner was with his parents and Tracey invited me and my mom to their thanksgiving since we had nobody else. My dad had never been around he was just a sperm donor who sent me money each month and I had no siblings so the holidays were quite lonely. Although Warner's dad made me grateful I didn't have one, that man was a monster. I don't know why Tracey was with him, she was the sweetest soul I had ever met.
Warner was meant to meet me in town to pick up some desserts for tonight. After about twenty minutes of arguing about him picking me up instead of me running almost 10 kilometres to town, he lost the argument.
Which proves I will be a better lawyer.
I end my run on my watch so my mom can see and walk into the dessert shop. I am immediately met with my favourite smell in the world...chocolate. It is dangerous for me to be here, there was one night in grade eleven when I ate an entire graduation cake to myself. Did I graduate anything? Nope. It was a cake meant to feed twenty people and I saw it on sale so I got it and ate the whole thing in one sitting.
Best 20 dollars I ever spent.
A voice from my nightmares interrupts my thoughts of cake, "Well if it isn't Jiggly Juliet, this is quite the fitting place to run into you." Sierra looks pleased to see me as if she had planned for me to come here.
I ignore her wondering if she knew it was me who slashed her tires.
"Awe are you not so brave when you don't have your bodyguard with you?" she steps towards me challenging me, little does she know my so-called bodyguard was on his way.
"Awe it sounds like someone is jealous." I smile sweetly, hinting at her crush on Warner.
"I am glad you are enjoying being Warner Brooks little charity project. News flash the only reason he is being nice to you is because he feels bad for you." Her words are like venom but I can't show that she is hurting me. I can't show that she is confirming all of my deepest insecurities.
She is right
It didn't matter how much I changed my appearance I was always going to be seen as a loser by these people. Sure I didn't need their validation anymore but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I ignore her and give the cashier my slip for the order, he looks uncomfortable.
"That will be a ten-minute wait" he looks apologetic to me knowing I would have to stand with Sierra who is giving me a death glare.
"You really have no self-respect, Warner was no knight in shining armour to you in high school. Have you forgotten who he used to sit with at lunch?" She keeps going and I feel my face getting red. She is right again, Warner's teasing was never as malicious as Sierra but he was a part of their friend group. I did look like an idiot, forgiving him as I did.
I need to get away from her, I walk into the bathroom hoping to splash some water on my face and get it together. I wasn't even alone for a second when Sierra follows me in, I try to avoid her and go to the sink but she steps in my way. I try to sidestep her without realizing that she has stuck her foot out. The action has me stumbling, planting myself face first on the tiled floor. I let out an audible pained gasp when my face comes into contact with the hard cold floor.
No one could have helped me. Not like they would anyway. It was empty, just us two and the garbage bin to the left if you could count that.
I try lifting myself up but a heeled cladded foot prevents me. Her pointy heel digs painfully into the small of my back as she adds more pressure. I grit my teeth in pain feeling the stabbing feeling.
As if that wasn't enough my scalp burns when a hand grips my hair and pulls it with force. I am forced to lift up my head as Sierra holds my hair in her hands. With a grunt and a whimper, I try digging my nails into her hands, in an effort to try and let her loosen her grip on my strands. But that effort becomes fertile as she tugs harder.
"You think you can lose a few pounds and that changes anything? You are still the same loser you were a year ago." She grits out, tugging on my hair even harder.
"No, I am not." I grunt back trying to stay strong.
"Stop embarrassing yourself thinking Warner gives a crap about you. He either just feels sorry for you or is only trying to be your friend because you aren't as fat. Keep in mind you could definitely still lose a few." She laughs, finally letting go of me but not without slamming my face on the floor.
I get off the cold floor, my face burning from it being slammed hard. I can feel the stinging pain on my cheek and my vision becomes blurry as I struggle to stay conscious.
I walk to the sink and mirrors and see that the red and swollen mark on my cheek is prominent. I touch it tenderly but wince when I touch a painful spot. I turn on the tap and start washing the blood off my face, being careful to not touch where it hurts. My makeup is now running down my face, the mascara creating tear tracks as it flows down. My hair is tangled and sticking out in all directions with a bump pulsing painfully in my head. Splashing my face a couple of times with cold water I try to wipe away the mascara. I would normally never wear makeup on a run but I knew I was going to see Warner so I put some on. God, I was pathetic and definitely regretting that decision now.
Sierra is a horrible person but she wasn't wrong. Warner was never this nice to me when I was Jiggly Juliet..well according to Sierra I still was. I feel angry at myself for letting myself be so stupid as to trust Warner. He was horrible to me for years and now he is nice for a week and all is forgiven? God, I was such an idiot. He somehow managed to convince me to come back to this stupid town to be around these horrible people. I knew it was a bad idea, I should've stayed at the dorm. If I did that, this never would have happened.
I needed to go before he came so I rush outside trying not to look up.
Until...
"Jules?"
I hear his voice and something inside of me snaps. It's Warner, he is standing a few feet away from me and it's obvious he knows something is wrong. He strides towards me, our gazes locked onto each other and I forget I am trying to escape.
I feel fury and anger and rage all directed toward him. He did this; he brought me here even when I told him it would be a horrible idea.
"Get away from me! This is all your fault I told you that I shouldn't come." I push him as hard as I can. I hit him. I hit him repeatedly pounding on his chest as his eyes widen with shock.
I clutch the fabric of his shirt and he begins leading us away from everyone on the street towards his car, I am still in my lululemon shorts and tank top from my run but since I am no longer running I am freezing. It's when the cool fresh air hits me that I shiver. Warner lets go of me and I feel like hitting him again for doing so but quickly shut up when he takes off his leather jacket and wraps it around me. The material provides instant warmth but also swallows me up due to its massive size, it also smells like him and I once again feel secure.
I get into his car and I try to turn my body and face away from him. Instead of starting the car Warner cups my cheek and makes me look up from where I'm inhaling the scent of his jacket.
My eyes widen in fear as his fury-filled eyes settle on where my face hit the floor. I quickly lift my hand to block the bruising spot from his eyes. But it only seemed to fuel his anger more, his rage-filled eyes now glared into mine.
"Please let's just go." I am scared and I think he knows because he starts the car. He is staring at the road ahead but with the way his knuckles are tightening around the steering wheel, I can tell that his mind is somewhere else and he's not exactly thinking positive thoughts.
"Are you hurt?"
"No."
He lets out a bitter laugh one which I don't really associate with him and takes a sharp turn around the corner causing me to lurch to one side of the car so that I'm pressed against the window.
"What the..." I begin to say but he cuts me off,
He's shaking his head. He grips the back of hisskull hard, he looks furious "You're lying Juliet, you are a terrible liar. Always have been and always will be. Cut the crap and tell me what happened."
"Would you please just leave me alone! Why are you all of a sudden obsessed with being my friend? News flash Warner we were never friends. If I recall you were friends with Sierra and James and all the other people who made my life a living hell. So you don't get to sit here with me and try to act like some knight in shining armour."
"I know I didn't stand up to them then, but I am trying to make it up to you now." His voice is low, tormented.
"I don't want to be your charity case Warner" I undo my seatbelt because I no longer want to be alone in this car with him. If I had just stayed home like I wanted to none of this would have happened, I was mad at myself for letting Warner influence me.
I open the car door, slam it behind me and start walking. I had these streets memorized from my childhood, I didn't need a ride home. I hear another car door slam, Warner has followed me out.
"You are not a charity case." it sounds like the words are being ripped from his throat.
"Do you have any idea what it was like to be a teenage girl and look like that?" I was trying hard not to cry, I couldn't even look at him.
"The truth is nobody wanted anything to do with me until I lost the weight and the acne and the rest of my problems everyone was so quick to point out. And you are classified in that category Warner. Where were you when I needed you? Where was this when I was being bullied every day by these people? Oh, wait that's right you were sitting at the same tables as them! You don't give a shit about me because if you did you would have never let people treat me like that. You would have never been a part of their bullying." I was so angry that I couldn't control my words, it was like word vomit and I couldn't stop.
"Stop telling me how I feel Juliet, You have no idea what I did for you!" Warner finally yells back at me, I know he has a temper and I was glad he was finally showing it. But at the same time, I have no idea what he was talking about.
"People wouldn't even look me in the eye, it was like I didn't even exist. And every time I look at you I am reminded of that time in my life, it doesn't matter that you are being nicer to me now because I will always remember you making me feel that way. I feel like I am Warner Brooks little charity project and I am done with whatever this is." I don't give him a chance to respond because I am walking away and have no intentions of turning back
"So that's it you're just going to walk away you don't even want to hear what I have to say?" Warner sounds pissed but I don't want to hear anything from him.
I just keep walking
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