《Pretending》Chapter Twenty Five: I'm Yours
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He doesn't answer the door, so I take matters into my own hands. I swing open Warner's door not caring what or who he was doing.
He's on his phone, by the window, not taking any notice that I'm staring at him. He must have just come out of the shower because a towel is wrapped around his waist and is hanging dangerously low, displaying that lovely v-line.
Water drips from his hair and trickles down his naked abdomen and I swear I stop breathing for a second as I watch that lone drop of water run down over each crevice of his abs and disappear under the towel.
I'm not proud of myself for this stalker moment, especially because he is the last person I should be ogling, but I can't help it. Once I snap myself out of it I squeal and turn around. I hear him grunt goodbye to whoever was on the phone and then some shuffling around.
"Okay you can turn around now" he sounds amused.
I turn slowly with my hands still over my eyes, I peer between my fingers and let out a sigh of relief. He has clothes on now, but his hair is still wet and some droplets run down his neck. I'm totally not checking out his long, slightly muscular legs and his hands that look absolutely exquisite, especially with the rings on his fingers. Nor am I staring at how his full mouth is curled up into a little smile or how his cheeks are flushed slightly pink and that jawline that could probably cut through stone. Nope, not at all.
I am mad, I need to remember that I am mad at him. I couldn't let him distract me with his looks. He doesn't look amused anymore when he sees my face, he knows something is wrong.
"Why are you upset with me?"
"Because this is what you do, you upset me" I didn't mean to be so harsh but I had Emily's words fresh in my mind. Warner looked a bit wounded.
He only ever started liking you when you lost weight.
The words rang in my ears
He only noticed you when you got rid of those horrible braces and acne
Stop
Do you really think he would be paying you this much attention if you looked like you did in high school?
It was taking everything not to run out of the room like the coward I was. I channelled the anger I felt to speak up.
"Is there something you want to say to me?" he didn't move any closer to me, he seemed to sense that one wrong move and I would lose it.
"We have known each other since we were four years old Warner"
"Yes I know how long it's been Juliet I was there" he smiles trying to ease the tension in the room but it doesn't work.
"No, I am saying that you have known me your whole life and never once did you ever try to kiss me or treat me the way you do now. For years I've been right here just waiting for you to see me. I was right there in front of you and you never did. You didn't notice me, not until I changed my appearance" I was raising my voice with each word, unable to control my rage.
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"Juliet I-"
"Do you have any idea how stupid I look? You didn't give me a second glance a year ago and now all of a sudden you are my knight in shining armour? All of a sudden you want to kiss me? It's bullshit!" I am raging not letting him even get a word in.
"And I fell for it, I fell for it like the idiot I am. God Emily was right, I am an idiot" I put my head in my hands in frustration. I bet he was laughing at me with his friends about how gullible I was. But when I look at him he's not laughing. He looked...hurt?
"That's not true"
"Don't you get it? I don't want to like me because I changed how I look. I want you to like me for me, to have liked me when I was just some loser. You never would have tried to kiss me if I was still Jiggly Juliet" I look away because tears are threatening to spill out, my throat is burning and my voice squeaks at the end of my speech.
"Don't you get it? I have always liked you" he looks angry at me. I don't get how he can be angry in this situation, I am the angry one. He always liked me? That was a joke.
"That's a load of crap Warner. If you liked me you would have done something about it then, it's just a bit too convenient you only grew some balls after I changed" I took a step closer to him furious he could somehow try to turn this on me.
"I was a coward" he holds my furious gaze and catches me off guard. His face holds pain that I'd never seen, hatred toward himself. He walks over and sits on his bed. It's silent and I don't know whether or not I should leave. He looks at me with pleading eyes to stay so after moments of contemplation I walk over and sit next to him.
"I am sorry Jules," He says a little gruffly, his voice thick.
"What for?"
"Everything. Take this as a combined apology for all the years I made your life miserable"
Stunned. I am stunned. I didn't think he would actually apologize.
"I was a stupid kid," he continues ignoring the panic attack I'm currently having. "I thought you were the prettiest girl I'd ever seen, and I got your attention the only way I knew how."
"By pissing me off?" I asked dryly, interrupting his monologue
I watch his face as he winces and messes up his hair, "Yeah, I could've gone about that better. But it was the only way I could get your attention. I wanted to be your friend but the other kids would've.."
"Made fun of you for hanging around me" I remember the kids he used to be friends with in elementary school. They weren't the friendliest.
"Like I said, I was a stupid kid"
"What about when we grew up. Why did you do it then? Was it because I was fat?" My voice shook slightly as I asked him that. I couldn't bear to know that he'd been just like the rest of them, that he let my weight dictate how he saw me. Yes, I'd been overweight but that didn't mean that I deserved everything they had done.
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His eyes were a stormy dark green when I looked at him. His jaw clenched, nostrils flaring-he was angry at me and I couldn't think why.
"Is that what you think of me? I would never..." He stops himself before groaning and tugging at his hair. He hides his face behind his palms and I hear some distinct curse words.
"I deserve that, I actually do, you should think the worst about me so I'm not going to complain." He twists his body so that he's facing me. I don't freak out until he's cupping my cheek and rubbing his thumb across it.
"I don't care about your weight Jules, never have, never will. You will always be my Jules. The girl who's gorgeous but doesn't have a clue about it. The girl who is so forgiving, kind, selfless, funny and sarcastic as hell"
How exactly do you breathe? I remember reading something about lungs and oxygen but I swear I can't link either of the two together right now...
"You're not afraid to talk back to me; you treat me like the idiot I am and I...I was scared. Having those kinds of feelings wasn't normal for me. I wanted to be your friend but I didn't know how to do that."
"Warner, I-I.."
His thumb brushes my bottom lip and I promise you could've heard how loud my heart is beating.
"Don't. I don't expect you to suddenly accept my apology for all that I did. I'd be crazy to think that after everything I've done, you still want something to do with me. I took a shot with you and it's the best decision I've ever made. Give me a second chance Jules, and I promise I'll do it right this time. It's you, Jules; it's always been you"
How do you respond to that?
It was so hard for me to trust Warner, in all honesty, the hardest part was believing that anyone could ever want someone like me.
"I am so sorry for the pain I have caused you, I know I can't take it back but I want to make it up to you. No matter how much or how long it takes"
He pauses at the end and tilts his head up, pressing his lips together. I move closer and put my hand over his, gently winding my fingers around his. He looks down at our hands and back up at me.
"I'm yours Juliet"
He was looking at me like my response could make or break him, I never knew the power I had over Warner Brooks until now.
"Okay" I whisper not really knowing what else to say. However, his reaction is like he's been given the map to the Holy Grail. From looking absolutely crestfallen he goes straight to elated, his eyes sparkling.
He brings up his hands to my face, his fingers trailing over every feature. My lips, nose, eyes, chin and even the sensitive spot behind my ear burn where his fingers trail. His touch lingers, almost worshipping. "Thank you." He breathes and my eyes close on their own accord, a content sigh escaping me.
________________
I don't even know how much time had passed I just knew I was comfortable in Warner's arms. He holds me as I lay on the bed, my back pressed into his chest. I relax into him.
"Warner?" I say into the darkness.
"Hmmm? He whispers against my neck and the movement of his lips against my skin causes butterflied to erupt in my stomach.
"You won't leave me, will you?
He's quiet for a while and I'm afraid that I've asked the wrong question. It's too soon for me to ask something like this from him. I don't know what possessed me to just do that. I'm going to come across as clingy and we've only just kissed.
To his credit, Warner doesn't pull away. His arms tighten around my waist and he nuzzles his face into my neck. I can almost see what's going on in his head. He must be thinking what a mistake he'd made by kissing a basket case like me. He must be thinking that I'm one of those girls who reads too much into a kiss and begins forming a ten-year plan. I prepare myself for the blow, for him to tell me that he isn't sure about me anymore.
"It's not a choice for me Jules. I couldn't leave you if I wanted to, tried it once before, didn't work out so well. You're stuck with me now." He seals his promise with a kiss to the spot beneath my ear which instantly has me breathing faster.
Does he hire a scriptwriter for these occasions? Does he have a book, like a version of "Being the Perfect Guy for Dummies' somewhere? How is it that every time I expect the possible worst, he says something and everything becomes okay?
Thud. Thud. Thud.
My heart's basically doing the tango against my rib cage. I savour the moment and let the protective feel of his words wrap itself all around me. I want to say something, anything to tell him what he means to me. But, I am as usual tongue-tied when it comes to really expressing myself. I can insult him on demand but ask me to tell him how I really feel and I go mute.
I smile to myself but the smile is wiped off my face almost instantly because Warner's phone went off with a notification. I look over at it not to be nosey but because the bright light blinded me a bit. Although I regret looking because once I saw the contact's name flash across the screen I felt sick.
Sierra
Why was Sierra texting Warner?
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