I was finally cleared to leave the hospital and go back to the dorms. I was going stir crazy alone in the hospital room for a week while all my friends were back at school. I got extra time for my exams because of my concussion which was nice, but I was worried it would affect my grades anyways. I was still a nerd deep down and I needed top marks to get into one of the top law schools when I graduated.

Warner had visited every single day since I have been here. Even Kenji had delayed going back to his own University to visit me, he felt guilty about the incident just like Warner but I think I finally convinced them it wasn't their fault.

I pathetically hoped my mom might visit. Every time the nurse said I had a visitor there was a split second when I hoped I would see her come into the room, apologize to me and tell me she missed me. That didn't happen though.

The nurse discharged me, and Warner immediately sweeps out my feet and carries me bridal style to his car. He carries me, placing me in the passenger seat, going as far as to buckle me in. No sooner had he slipped into the driver seat than he was fishing my hand off my lap and pulling it onto his, linking our fingers together.

When we arrive at the dorm and park he opens the passenger door for me. His hands undo the seatbelt before pulling me into his broad build for a front piggyback.

"I can walk, Warner," I tell him, pressing my forehead to his shoulder.

He makes a noise in his throat. "Give me this, Jules," he said hoarsely before I am up in his arms with my head nestled right into his neck as we go inside.

I look up for a moment and see that there is a police car parked outside the dorm. The police haven't been able to locate Warner's dad anywhere, so the station decided it would be safest to have a police officer stationed outside our dorm in case we are targeted again or if Matt decides to pay us a visit.

The story got out to the press with a warrant for Matt Brooks arrest, so I'm sure word has spread throughout campus about it. I already dealt with enough stares from the post Sierra made of me, so this was only going to add fuel to the fire.

Warner doesn't stop in the living room or in the kitchen where I'm sure our friends are waiting. Instead, he weaves our way into his bedroom, setting me down on his bed as he toes off his boots and I do the same to my own shoes.

Those brilliant green eyes lock on mine. He breathes, "I don't know what the fuck I'll do if something else happens to you." He kneels in front of me and squeezes my kneecaps. "It scared the living shit out of me seeing you in that hospital."

Warner's hands hold me firmly. One hand slips up to cup my cheek tenderly as he presses his forehead to my temple. "I don't ever want to feel that way again."

"I'm okay now," I whisper, placing my hand over the one he had high on my thigh. Warner wasn't scared of anything, not bugs, the dark, clowns, scary movies, or the possibility of getting hurt. Nothing.

The fact that he has been scared for me spears right through my gut.

He frowns when I say I'm okay and I sense there is something else he wants to say. Instead, he tips his head to touch his lips to mine. "I'll never let anything like that happen to you again," he murmurs as his thumb brushes over my cheekbone. When I don't say anything in response, mainly because I am so wrapped up in his touch, he kisses the side of my mouth.

"I would like to keep you in this room to myself but unfortunately I have to share you with your friends." He sighs taking my hand and bringing me back to my feet.

"They're your friends too." I tease smacking his butt on my way out. I start to run because I know he will try to get me back but luckily; I see our friends all waiting.

"Juliet!" Abby squeals and launches herself at me, I let out a grunt because my ribs aren't completely healed, and she squeezes a little too hard. But it's worth it to get a hug from my best friend.

Winston gives me a much gentler hug, after scolding Abby for hers being too rough. She punches him in the arm for trying to tell her how to hug and it looks like the punch was just as rough as her hug from the wince on his face.

Sarah hugs me next at the same time as Amy, both of them squishing me between them like a sandwich. "I missed having my study partner," Sarah tells me.

"Hey! I study with you." Amy feigns hurt.

"You're more of a distraction." Sarah says matter of fact but when she sees Amy's face she retraces her steps, "Because you are so beautiful, how could I focus around you?"

Amy grins and they both let go of me and hold onto each other instead. Sarah plants a kiss on Amy's forehead and I can't help but smile at the sight of it.

"I guess this means I can finally stop whoring myself out to the nurse on your floor." Adam jokes pulling me into a hug, I notice he looks at Warner as he does it. And the hug is very gentle, almost a ghost of a hug as if he is scared to touch me.

"Yes, thank you for that." I hug him back harder than he hugs me, and he finally gives me a real hug.

"Alright break it up, her ribs are still sore you know." Warner cuts in but it's convenient that he cuts in during Adam's hug and not Abby's bone-crushing one.

Adam had spent all week flirting with the middle-aged nurse on my floor so Warner could sneak in during non-visitor hours, he deserved a hug.

"Well shit, I hope Jdawgs bones are strong enough for one more." I hear him before I see him. Kenji saunters over from wherever he was hiding and pulls me in for a hug.

"I thought you had to go back to school!" I scold him but I'm smiling into his shoulder. I'm glad he is still here.

"I couldn't leave without seeing you were back and okay," Kenji whispers into my hair, so our other friends don't hear him being mushy.

I pull back and smile at all of my friends. My heart squeezing at the fact that they are all here, that they all care enough to be here.

The moment is ruined within seconds though because everyone's faces turn solemn.

Sarah clears her throat before she speaks "Juliet, we were hoping us girls could have a chat in your room."

My heart starts to race. What did I do? Was this some sort of intervention? The way they are all looking at me makes me want to shrink into the walls.

I look to Warner; he couldn't possibly be in on this! But when I look at him, he doesn't look enraged on my behalf, instead, he is looking like he might add to what Sarah said.

"This isn't an attack of any sort Jules. Your friends are just worried about you." He tells me and I see his fist clench like he wants to reach out to me but won't.

I nod and walk to my room, Abby, Amy and Sarah trailing behind me. I close my door and sit on my bed, looking like a child who is waiting for their parents to yell at them.

"When we were at the hospital the doctors informed us of some stuff that worried us. We wanted to speak to you once you were better." Sarah steps in taking control which she is good at. A voice of reason

"Worried about what?" I pull at one of the strings on my sweater to avoid looking at anyone.

They all look at each other awkwardly, unsure of who should speak first. Abby steps forward, "He said your vitals were off and your body was really weak. We just wanted to make sure you are okay."

I freeze on the spot. The doctor told them that? I needed a hole in the ground to shrink me up now. All of my friends knew how messed up I was.

No.No. They didn't know anything yet.

"And, after the incident with your hairbrush—" Amy trails off.

"I thought maybe you just didn't have a big appetite. I thought maybe you just liked to exercise a lot." I see Abby's eyes water like she might start crying. "But after your mom came and the horrible things she said to you. I know that you're not okay. You're sick Juliet."

Fuck. This can't be happening.

This is too much having them all here at once.

"So you all just sat in a room and talked about how messed up I am?" I bite out. "What is this? Some sort of intervention? I'm fine. I said I was fine."

"This isn't an attack, Juliet; we are just concerned about you. I know Warner is trying the best he can to help, but you have us too. We can be there for you. A support system." Sarah is brave enough to take a step toward me, sitting next to me on my bed.

"I'm in recovery guys. This is very nice of you, but I have a therapist and I'm better now." The lies fall so easily off my tongue it's almost concerning. I've been doing this for so long.

They don't look like they believe me, so I try another route. "Thank you, seriously. I'm glad to have you guys and now I know I can come to you." I spread my arms out and they all come closer so we can do some sort of group hug.

As if a group hug can help the dark thoughts in my head.

The only problem that Juliet has is she doesn't know when to stop eating

You're not skinny enough to have an eating disorder

There are people with real problems and you cry over a piece of cake

"We are serious Juliet. Please don't do this alone. You have us. And Warner. You even have the other four idiot men sitting out there. We are all here for you." Amy rubs my back gently and I let myself enjoy the comfort for the moment.

We let go and I already hate having my friends know my secret because the first thing out of Abby's mouth is "Are you hungry? I'll make you something to eat."

"Abby." I give her a pleading look. "Please don't try to feed me. I'm not a pigeon in the park."

"I know, I just—"

"Just don't. I don't want to be analyzed or pitied by you. Just be my friend, okay?"

She gives me a hard look back. "Friends don't let friends starve."

"I'm not starving," I say and today it's true, the hospital has forced food down my throat for days. So much so that I'm too scared to look at my body in the mirror. In fact I am nine days purge free. It is the longest I have gone in a long time and I'm quite proud of the fact. I even have it written down in my journal Kendra got me.

We walk back to the living room and the guys are now playing FIFA on the TV. I don't want to ruin their fun with my depressing inner thoughts so I paste on a big smile for everyone and ask, "Can I play winner?"

______

It takes me hours to shut off my brain and fall asleep, to stop the endless tracks where I bounce between justifying my actions and condemning them. And when I finally wake, I watch the red glowing numbers change on my digital clock. It's still only 2 am.

Ugh.

I head to the kitchen to get a glass of water and hear distant voices. It's late so I'm shocked to see Warner and Sarah on the couches with their laptops open.

"Why are you reading that?" Sarah asks him. I inch forward and creep towards the living room. I edge close and peek behind the curved archway. Their backs face me as they share the couch, draped with different throw blankets.

Warner doesn't look up from his screen. "Because it's useful."

"That woman is not useful. She thinks she is better than every other therapist because she takes on celebrity clients." She tries to shut his laptop shut but he shoots out and blocks her hand.

"Just because you don't like her clients doesn't mean she isn't good at what she does. There's good stuff on here. It could help Jules."

I frown. What therapist are they talking about? And more than that, are they really talking about my eating disorder again? I caught Sarah with a stack of books the other day, all about eating disorders, and they were not only highlighted and bookmarked but there were post-it notes stuck inside. And these notes, let me tell you, did not have Sarah's handwriting. Since I have been in school with Warner Brooks for years, I can spot his cursive, calligraphy-like penmanship easily.

I wasn't shocked that the two pre-law students would research as much as they could on the topic. If anything, it made me want to laugh.

I'm adjusting to it. Even if it's incredibly weird. For a while now, Warner was the only one who knew my secrets, and now I have many more people keeping the news quiet. It's a lot to handle.

And definitely too much to process.

__________

I sit in the therapist's waiting room with Warner by my side. He skipped all of her classes for the day to be here with me. I've thanked him about a hundred times. My eyes dart between the exit and the door to the office. Fleeing sounds tempting, but with Warner here, I stay situated on the white couch cushion and refrain from biting my nails.

When the door finally opens, I spring to my feet as though the couch electrocuted my butt. And the therapist from the hospital greets me with a warm, sincere smile. Looking in her early forties, her chocolate brown hair bobs at her chin, and she wears a black skirt, fitted jacket, and a cream blouse. With her heels, she just barely reaches my height. She must be super short then.

"Hi Juliet, I'm so glad you called me. I'm Dr. Ivey." She holds out her hand, and I shake it, momentarily embarrassed by my sweaty palm.

She gestures to the office, opening the door wider for me.

I look back at Warner.

"I'll be right here," he assures me. I try to soak in some of his confidence.

I raise my chin, pretending to be strong, and enter Dr. Ivey's office. A few glass bookshelves line the walls, and her cherry oak desk sits off in the corner. In the centre lies a white fur rug and two pieces of furniture: a brown leather chair and an identical brown leather couch.

"Take a seat," she says, motioning to the couch.

I rest on the edge of it, my foot bouncing in anxiety. I glance out the large window, a park in direct view, the patch of green actually calming me a little.

Dr. Ivey holds a notebook in her hands, and my eyes transfix to it for an extended second. My problems will be documented within the pages for (hopefully) only her to see.

"Are you going to tell me why I'm like this?" It's the very first thing I ask. Not even starting off with a cordial 'how's your day?' Nope. I begin by blurting out my biggest insecurity: what the hell is wrong with me?

"Maybe in time. Why don't we begin by getting to know each other first? Kendra sent some notes, but I would rather hear it first hand from you."

I nod. Oh my God. I even do therapy wrong...I can't do anything right

I spend the next thirty minutes telling her everything I told Kendra. About the bullying in high school, about the cruel things my mom did to me and I scratch the surface when it comes to the dark thoughts I have about myself sometimes.

She takes everything in without many reactions until she hears about some of the comments my mom made to me. I glance at the time, glad to see we are almost done with the first session.

"That's enough for today." She closes her notebook and I panic that she doesn't want to help me. That maybe it's too late for me to be fixed.

"You have to believe me when I say I don't want to be like this. I don't want to live like this Dr. Ivey." My words come out panicked and frantic.

She is silent so I continue letting the word vomit come out, "I thought it was my mom that made me this way, but she's gone and I'm still feeling the same way. And now I know it's me. I'm the problem."

"Juliet," she says, edging forward on her seat. She stares at me for a long moment. "You took what I said to heart, I said to call me if you were serious about getting better and you called. You came to your appointment today. You are fourteen days purge free. That is an achievement that you can claim. That is a huge hurdle."

My chin quivers. It doesn't feel like I've done something good. This whole time, I thought I kept failing in this recovery process. "Oh," I mutter under my breath, not able to form any other words. I wipe my eyes before the tears come.

"Now I will see you at our next session, but I have an emergency line I emailed to you. Please call it if you are ever in a tough place and need to talk. I will always answer. No time is a bad time." She smiles at me and her smiles are rare so I feel happy that I earned one.

I step out to an anxious-looking Warner; he is sitting on one of the chairs reading some sort of gossip magazine. He slams it down as soon as he sees me, walking up to me and pulling me into his side so we can walk out together

"You okay, babe?" he whispers into my hair

I nod.

Warner presses a kiss to my forehead. "That's my girl."

I walk out of the office feeling a bit better for once.

____________

I was still paranoid.

It had been weeks and the police still haven't located Warner's dad. Sometimes when I looked out the window I was scared I would see Paul or Jared waiting for me out there. They plagued my dreams as well, nightmares of that night, of Paul's words.

Jared, take the girls' clothes off. Let's see if she still looks like a little boy with no clothes on

I knew they were behind bars for now but with Warner's dad still out there it was hard to relax. It was hard to focus on my recovery when I was constantly watching my back. I couldn't even go on my morning runs alone anymore. I had Adam or Warner come with me, depending on which one of them had class. Even Max had joined me a few times.

I've holed up in the library with Sarah most of the time, studying as hard as possible for our exams. My first one went okay but it was tougher than I thought it would be. I got the stitches out of my forehead yesterday, but I still wasn't back to one hundred percent.

Tonight was going to be the first time I was seeing people outside of my bubble. It was Amy's birthday, and she was throwing a big party at her house. I was nervous to leave the house and be around a bunch of people who saw those horrible photos of me, but I had to do it sometime. I was hoping things might have died down over the break and everyone has forgotten about the Instagram post Sierra made of me. At this point, the stuff with Sierra and Emily seemed petty compared to having a gun pressed to my forehead.

I was determined to have fun. I could have died last month, not only me but Warner could have as well. I wasn't going to take our time together for granted anymore.

My near-death experience also reminded me that I didn't plan on dying a virgin, so operation seduce Warner Brooks was a go. It took some time before I was able to be touched by Warner again. For the first week, I was still a little jumpy after the night in the parking lot. Luckily Dr. Ivey had helped me a lot with the trauma of that night as well. Now that I was feeling better, I knew I was ready.

Abby and I had gone to Victoria's secret to pick out a matching lingerie set, she even bought the same one as me so we could both seduce our boyfriends. I even had one of those showers. The kind where you shave your whole body and moisturize with your nicest products.

I took longer than usual to pick an outfit, my time being purge-free has led to some weight gain and I was struggling to come to terms with it. The voice in my head told me to starve myself to get back to my previous weight, it told me to throw up my meals or go on more runs. I tried not to listen to it but at times like this, when I was trying on skin-tight dresses, I wish I had listened.