It was finally Friday, but as always, Friday's took forever to actually end. The gang stood around the lockers, dreading the bell that was about to ring. Eric and Donna headed off to their first hour early and Jackie went off with her friends to math with Fez following behind them.

"This is going to be the longest day ever!" Lucy exclaimed as she shut her locker, "I swear, all my teachers talk to eachother and decide to give a test on the same day! I didn't even have time to study everything!"

"Let's skip," Hyde suggested.

Lucy tapped her foot in contemplation, hugging her books in front of her, "I don't have the keys, we can't leave."

"Let's just hide out in the car. You can study some more or whatever," he shrugged.

"Speak for yourself, I'll take a nap!" Kelso said.

"Look, if your parents get notified just say you were so quiet in the back of the class behaving yourself that they forgot to count you," Hyde batted his eyes, mocking Lucy's mannerisms when trying to get out of trouble.

Lucy rolled her eyes and threw her coat over her shoulder, "Get to the car."

❁

"This is great, Eric Forman skips class!"

Lucy groggily woke up to Donna's voice. Her eyes were still adjusting to the light when she realized she had fallen asleep in the back seat with Steven.

"Yeah well Danger is my middle name," her brother answered cheekily.

"No it's not, it's Albert," Lucy sat up slowly, Hyde's arm still wrapped around her waist.

The two in the front seat spun around in shock.

"Why are we moving? Lucy lay back down," Hyde whined.

"Mommy!" Kelso exclaimed tiredly as he jumped up in the trunk.

"What are you guys doing in here?" Donna asked.

"What are you guys doing here?" Kelso asked skeptically.

"I cut class," Eric said proudly.

Lucy could even stifle her laugh.

"Yeah right, was there a fire drill or something?" Hyde chuckled as he finally sat up, pulling Lucy into his lap.

"I do bad things. I've cut class before. Wait Lucy are you cutting class?"

"Yes, but unlike you I don't lie and say I cut class often. I have some dignity and no need to prove myself," Lucy replied snarkily since her brother was about to lecture her.

"Aw you made Opie upset," Hyde reached forward to ruffle Eric's hair.

"What did I tell you about calling me Opie?" Eric snapped, trying to swat away Kelso and Hyde.

"Opie watch out for that keg in the middle of the road!" Donna yelled.

Eric swerved the car, causing the three in the back to get tossed around. The car finally screeched to a stop and everyone looked out their window in awe.

"Wow," the twins said in awe.

"It's a keg," Donna said amazed.

"Of beer," Kelso said stupidly.

"It must be a sign," Hyde added.

"Of beer," Kelso repeated.

❁

The five of them drove back to the Formans' house once school was out. Donna and Lucy ran inside to make sure the coast was clear and then the boys came in carrying the keg.

"How did you find it?" Fez asked happily.

"We were driving down the road and there she was!" Hyde exclaimed.

"Oh it was a beer in headlights," Fez laughed at himself and Lucy laughed at his pun.

"Wow how often to find a mysterious keg of free beer?" Kelso said, still looking at the keg.

"Only once in a while," Eric answered.

"You are right Forman, you're absolutely right. When God gives you a keg, you got to—" Hyde started.

"Kill a virgin!" Fez interrupted confidently.

Lucy now looked at the boy concerned as Eric raised her hand, "I nominate Lucy!"

Lucy pulled away, "You dork, you're a virgin too! I nominate Eric!"

"I take it back! No, we'll throw a party!" Eric announced.

"Go for it Eric!" Donna nodded impressed.

"Wait, how is Lucy still a virgin?" Kelso asked dumbfounded.

Lucy rolled her eyes, "Well you see Kelso—" she began making obscene gestures with her hands before being cut off.

"Hey! That's enough! We'll throw a party and charge two bucks a head," Eric decided.

Kelso sat down on a chair and thought, "Two bucks a head. A keg is equivalent to 7 cases, that's 168 beers. If we each drink 3 beers a piece—"

"No way, sophomores only gonna drink one maybe," Hyde interjected without missing a beat.

"True," Kelso nodded.

"Yeah, and the freshman is only gonna drink a half," Hyde continued.

"So that averages out to 1.5 beers per person, meaning we can invite 112 people, leading to $224." Kelso finished.

"Cash," Hyde nodded with a smirk.

"Kelso, what do you have in math right now?" Lucy asked, shocked.

"Like a D, why?"

Lucy just furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

Eric clapped loudly, "Alright, grab some ice out of the deep freeze, I'll grab the tub!"

Hyde ran to the freezer as Eric ran to the storage room and the others gathered around the keg.

"That is one sweet mama," Fez said in admiration.

"Hey gang!" Kitty greeted as she came down the steps, everyone rushed to close the curtains around the keg. "Oh don't mind me, just came down to do an emergency presoak on my nurse's uniform—"

Lucy quickly clasped her hands around her ears, something she learned at a young age when her mom started talking about her job. Based on the looks on everyone else's face, she made the right choice.

Then Eric walked out with the tub, who obviously had to make an excuse to their mother. "The tub—we were just working on a class project."

Hyde walked over to the tub, placing the ice in the tub, "We're making a volcano, snicklefritz," Hyde turned to smirk at Eric, loving being able to tease him about the nickname.

"Out of ice? Well I think it might melt!" Kitty laughed.

"Well you heard her guys, let's get moving!" Eric directed.

"All right, you have fun," Kitty ran back up the stairs.

Lucy smacked Hyde's arm, making him look at her quizzically, "Really Steven? A volcano? You could've said igloo!"

"We have to get the keg out of here!" Eric whispered.

"Well where are we going to have the party?" Donna asked.

"Beats me. If you need me I'll be with Jackie at our secret makeout place." Kelso stood up.

"Secret makeout place?" Donna and Lucy asked as they looked at eachother.

"It's this house on Sherman. I mean this place is great, it's totally private, I mean you can get away with almost anything there. So if you guys find a place for that keg, let me know," Kelso walked out the door.

The remaining teenagers all looked at their watched, timing when Kelso would walk back in, having it perfect when he burst back through the door. "I got an idea!"

❁

Everyone was at the house on Sherman, they stood back as they watched Kelso kiss Jackie's neck as she whined.

"But Michael, this is our secret makeout place. I did not swipe the key from my mother's real estate office so you could have a party!"

"No I know it's like a bonus. And I'm doing it for you baby!"

"Ok," Jackie gave in.

Hyde and Lucy looked ahead and gave eachother a high five.

Jackie and Kelso remained in the corner while Donna and Eric went to the keg, Hyde went to go talk to Fez and Lucy stood in the corner, inspecting her nails.

"I don't care when you ate Fez! Get in the pool now!" Hyde yelled frustrated.

"If I get a cramp it will be on your head!" Fez said before jumping down.

Jackie fixed her hair as she walked over to the keg, "Ok, hurry up and drink your keg."

Hyde stepped forward in disbelief, "Hurry up and drink a keg?" Lucy put her arm out to stop him from yelling at Jackie.

"Jackie you just have to mellow out, I mean this rules! We've got a keg and soon everybody's gonna be here," Kelso said.

"Everybody?" Jackie asked confused.

"Everybody...who matters. And for the first time, Jackie, that includes you," Eric covered up that they'd be profiting.

Everyone shuffled forward saying "aw" as they embraced Jackie before she yelled and walked away.

Then, everyone was arguing over who would get to drink first. Once an order was established Eric turned to Hyde, "Alright, how do you get the beer out?"

Hyde rubbed his hands together in anticipation, "Through the tap."

"Oh shit," Lucy mumbled before Hyde fell to his knees, realizing they forgot the tap.

"Ok we really need a tap here," Hyde stood up, composing himself.

"I got my Swiss Army knife!" Kelso suggested.

"Well great! We can whittle the beer out!" Hyde said sarcastically.

"Don't get your panties in a twist Steven. Liquor stores have taps," Lucy pointed out.

"Yeah and who's got the money for it?" everyone looked towards Jackie.

"Why would I bring money to our secret makeout place Michael?"

"Well I got our gas money," Eric offered.

"No, guys we're not going to take your gas money," Donna insisted.

"Well, wait, we'll have more than $200 by the end of the night. Eric, we can spare it can't we?" Lucy asked, her brother nodded in agreement.

Michael grabbed the wad of cash Lucy pulled out of her purse, "You buy, I fly!"

❁

Donna, Hyde, and Lucy sat on the edge of the pool. Their feet dangling over the edge.

"He's lying to Jackie, man. I lie to Jackie." Hyde stated, befuddled as watching Eric below them. "It seems to me that scrawny little neighbor boy is willing to engage in criminal acts for that saucy red head next door," he smirked.

"Shut up!" Donna laughed. "Besides, how do you know he didn't do it to impress his friends? You know, peer pressure."

"Donna, honey, who did my idiot twin skip class for? Me? Steven? Kelso? Fez? No, he skipped for you," Lucy flipped her hair and smirked at her friend.

"And his friends aren't saucy," Hyde said matter-of-factly.

"Kelso's saucy," Donna thought aloud.

Lucy scoffed as Hyde continued outraged, "Kelso? Please, I'm saucier than Kelso!"

Lucy looked at him confused, "Out of all of you, Fez is the sauciest," they all looked down at Fez flirting with girls.

"You're right," the two others conceded.

❁

Kelso came back from the liquor store and the friends gathered in the deep end of the pool, whispering.

"It's broken!" Hyde exclaimed.

"You wasted our money!" Lucy's jaw dropped as she held the two broken pieces gingerly, like holding an infant.

"I got duct tape!" Kelso offered.

"Duct tape? Do you know how much pressure runs through that tap?" Hyde asked.

"I got a whole roll of duct tape," Kelso nodded.

"I can't work like this!" Hyde threw his hands up and walked off to talk to Eric.

"Come on Kelso, you know he's a drama queen!" Lucy flicked his forehead, trying to get it through his thick skull.

Lucy turned around to get to Hyde and Eric but was stopped by Destroy and Giveback.

"Hey Kelshmo, For—" Destroy paused to look at Lucy's chest, "woman," he nodded impressed and Lucy huffed and rolled her eyes at the couple of jocks.

Destroy and Giveback both shook their heads to snap out of their fantasies, "You guys got a broken tap! Why would you do something stupid like buy a stupid broken tap? What are you stupid?" The two stepped forward intimidatingly.

"Back off dillholes," Lucy shoved them back, "He didn't buy the tap broken, and he was the one who figured how much beer to give everyone and how many people to invite and how much to charge them. He went to buy the tap with my money, but some morons broke his tap!" Lucy defended her friend, standing in front of him protectively, even though he towered over her.

"Huh?" Destroy and Giveback asked simultaneously.

"It wasn't broken until you broke it!" Kelso snapped.

"Oh man," Destroy looked down in regret.

"Don't beat yourself up. We had no way of knowing, besides we gave it back," Giveback consoled his friend.

"Yeah, broken," Eric chimed in behind them.

"Hey lay off him! He feels bad enough!" Giveback defended him.

"Well he should because he's a moron," Eric retorted.

"What did you say?" Destroy looked up and stepped towards Eric.

"Oh no! Did you forget how to speak English? He said morons," Lucy winced sarcastically.

"What are you gonna do? You gonna beat me up? What, you weigh 400 pounds together? Well it doesn't matter, the fact is that the tap is broke, and it's your fault morons," Eric yelled.

"You are so rude!" Destroy yelled.

"Yeah give us our $4 back!" Giveback demanded.

"Hey Fez," Eric beckoned him over and took $4, then ripping it and handing it back to them, "Familiar?"

Destroy and Giveback sulked away, then Donna and Eric mocked how Destroy and Giveback always acted.

"But enough of this levity, wench!" Eric exclaimed as he sprinted to the pool ladder. As he stood on the ladder he held up his fist, "We came here to party and as God as my witness there will be a party!" Everyone cheered and applauded as he went off to steal their dad's tap.

❁

Everyone was gathered in the pool, talking and having a good time awaiting Eric's return.

Then Jackie came running back into the pool, "Everybody in the deep end, my mother is showing the house!"

"Now!" Donna asked baffled.

"People work!" Jackie hissed.

"Everyone shut up!" Lucy yelled

They heard the clicking of heels and voice of a woman who could only be Mrs. Burkhart, "And this lovely tile walkway leads right to the pool—which is filled with some of the local kids."

❁

Everyone else went home and then the police came.

"Jackie get us out of this!" Kelso whispered.

"How!" she whispered.

"I don't know!" he gestured to her body nervously.

"Kelso, genius! Jackie, Donna go with me, we'll sweet talk them!" Lucy was already unbuttoning the top buttons of her blouse and flipping her hair.

Jackie was following her lead and the two were about to get up when Hyde pulled her back down, "What?" Lucy asked wide eyed.

"Get down! Your dad is here!" Hyde hissed. Lucy scrambled to button her shirt.

The police she could handle, her father was a different story.

"Hi Daddy!" Lucy smiled innocently as her father and Mr. Pinnciotti stepped into the pool.

"Don't start!" Red yelled.

"Sorry," she replied meekly, lowering her head.

Everyone sat in silence and Hyde wrapped his arm around her shoulder, rubbing her arm to keep her warm.

Not too long later, Eric came running back. He grabbed a hose and lowered himself into the pool, jumping off the pool wall as he went.

"I stole my dad's tap!" he exclaimed. He quickly paled upon seeing his friends standing sadly by the police and his father. "Back from those thieves!" he tried to recover.

❁

Bob pulled Donna aside to kindly lecture her while Red pulled Eric and Lucy aside.

"You had us driving all over town!" Red complained.

"'Scuze us Red," Hyde said as he and Kelso tried to sneak by him to get the keg.

"What are you doing?" Red demanded.

"We're just going to grab this keg-" Kelso began to explain.

"Get out of here!" Red yelled.

Hyde looked at Lucy apologetically as she pouted, upset at being caught.

"We're not finished with this!" Red pointed at the twins. "You take them home, you wait for me, that's an order!" Red yelled at Eric, gesturing to Lucy and Donna.

Donna hugged Bob as she walked away and Lucy and Eric looked expectantly at their father, Eric even held his arms out.

"Get your ugly butt home!" Red yelled at Eric. "You're in big trouble missy!" Red looked to Lucy, who nodded obediently.

❁

Eric drove the girls home and stayed outside with Donna. Lucy dragged her feet up to her room and gasped when she found Kelso and Hyde sitting on her bed.

"Get out of here!" she hissed.

"You grounded?" Hyde tilted his head.

"You know everytime you think I'm grounded, just assume I'm grounded until I tell you otherwise."

"Ah but where's the fun in that?"

"Does she still have—" Kelso interrupted as he opened the closet door.

Lucy rushed forward to keep it shut, "Yes, and it's perfectly organized. Laugh all you want about me being a virgin with teddy bears but you're whipped by Jackie and haven't even done it and your security blanket is hidden under your mattress and I'll tell Jackie." Lucy pursed her lips.

"Hyde we should go," Kelso backed away towards the window.

"Dude, you still have your security blanket?" Hyde asked, confused.

"It's fuzzy and makes me feel safe, okay?" Kelso yelled before ducking out the window.

Steven went to follow him, "Hey Steven!" Lucy called, he looked over to her, "Next time find a better lie than saying we're making a volcano," she smirked.

❁