"Man the Grinch has a big butt," Donna said as they all watched the TV.

"Yes nothing say Christmas like a big green Grinch ass," Fez nodded.

Donna stepped up the ladder while Lucy held it still.

"So Eric man what are you doing Christmas Eve?" Hyde asked.

"Well my parents are having the same lame Christmas party they have every year. All adults," Eric explained.

"They make Eric sing Little Drummer Boy," Lucy grinned.

"Why would you tell them that?" Eric hissed.

"I love Christmas it's all about good tidings and cheer and shopping!" Jackie said excitedly.

"Yeah I'm sure that's exactly what Jesus was going for," Hyde sat in his seat.

"Hey I give too! Every year my friends and I deliver gift baskets to the unfortunate," Jackie defended herself.

"I think you mean less fortunate," Donna corrected.

"Ok, whatever, bums," Jackie said.

"There's that holiday spirit!" Lucy said sarcastically.

Kitty came rushing down the stairs, "Oh what are you doing watching cartoons? Holiday Inn is on!" Kitty switched the TV to her favorite holiday movie.

"Eric, Lucy, help me get the decorations," Kitty asked.

Lucy sighed as she got up and followed her mom and brother back to the storage room.

"What are you getting Donna for Christmas?" Lucy whispered.

"I was thinking perfume. She likes that White Shoulders stuff," Eric turned his head slightly, trying not to lose his balance as his mom handed him a box.

"Oh yeah, that's nice stuff," Lucy nodded, taking the box from him.

They put the box down and opened it. It wasn't the Christmas decorations and when they opened it Lucy almost fainted.

Lucy and Kitty both ran out of the storage room screeching, Kitty ran up the stairs and Lucy jumped on top of the dryer. Everyone in the room looked at them confused.

"There was a—it was a—" Lucy was trying to compose herself, Hyde got up to pick her up off of the dryer.

"We were going through a box of Christmas decorations and found Christmas rat," Eric explained for his twin.

❁

"So Laurie, seeing anyone special at college?" their father asked as he opened the newspaper.

"Oh, I like to date around," Laurie smiled.

"Slut," Eric coughed, followed by a wince when Lucy jabbed him in the ribs. "Hey Dad, instead of going to your party this year I was thinking of throwing a party in the basement. I mean I'm old enough," Eric swatted Lucy away.

"Fine." Red complied.

"Fine?" Laurie and Kitty said in unison.

"Sweet!" Lucy yelled.

"Well every year he moped around here like it's the end of the world anyways," Red reasoned.

"So now who's going to sing the high parts on Little Drummer Boy?" Kitty asked.

"Well traditionally, it's the man who can't grow facial hair," Laurie smirked.

Eric kept elbowing Lucy and pointing to their dad, knowing she could get money that they needed. She rolled her eyes and sighed when she caved.

"Daddy, can I have some money for the party," Lucy smiled innocently.

"Sure sweetheart, here's $40, take your brother and buy a tree. The rest can go towards your party," Red pulled out a wad of cash.

"Aw Dad, you know I hate haggling with those tree sellers," Eric whined.

"Haggling is part of being an adult. Here's another $10 for your Christmas presents Lucy," Red handed her another bill.

"We want $60," Eric haggled.

"Knock it off!" Red yelled.

The twins left the kitchen. Lucy had given Eric the $40, keeping the other $10 for herself and buying gifts.

"How am I suppose to haggle for a tree and still end up with enough for the party?" Eric whined as they walked upstairs.

"Figure it out Eric, because if Kelso and Jackie are going to be under the mistletoe, we're all going to need beer. Go cut down a tree or something," Lucy said sarcastically, going into her room.

❁

A couple hours later, after wrapping up all her Christmas presents, she heard the Vista Cruiser pull back up. Lucy went outside to see what the boys managed to get at the tree lot.

"Eric I think this is the most beautiful tree we've ever had! And it's just so fresh!" Kitty exclaimed, ducking as a bird flew out of the tree.

Lucy's eyes widened when she saw the tree, her mouth dropped, amazed at the stupidity of her brother.

"Oh you did not get this from a lot, you stole it," Laurie voiced exactly what Lucy was thinking.

"Are you a dumbass?" Lucy hissed, all the three siblings looked shocked at how she used Red's line.

"I haggled," Eric said, still looking at his twin.

"With who? Smokey the bear?" Laurie said snarkily.

"Well I mean you're one to talk! You're flunking out of college," Eric accused.

"How did you know?" Laurie's eyes widened concerned.

"I didn't," Eric stepped back.

Lucy looked between her two siblings, "Am I the only sane one here? Okay, we won't tell any secrets because Dad will kill Eric and I'm not applying Twin Code for stealing government property and if Laurie flunks mom and Dad will never let us leave their sight. Everyone understand?"

"Okay," Laurie and Eric said hesitantly.

"Okay," Lucy nodded.

The three all slowly backed away from one another.

Lucy turned around and came face to face with Hyde. "Were you the one that convinced him to commit a felony?" Lucy asked.

"Nope, apparently someone else gave him the idea, now whoever could that be?" Hyde tilted his head.

Lucy sighed, "I was being sarcastic! You would think he would've learned it by now considering I'm fluent in it."

"Yeah well it's his funeral if he gets caught. But hey, what would a girl like for $6?"

"Who's it for?" Lucy tilted her head curiously.

"It doesn't matter. Just what would a girl like Donna want for Christmas?"

"You like Donna?" Lucy asked, confused how Hyde would want to steal her brother's girl.

"No, no, just answer the question," Hyde said.

"I don't know," Lucy said uncomfortably, not believing that it's not Donna.

"It's not Donna!" Hyde said adamantly.

"Fine!" Lucy held her hands up in surrender. "Save your money and get her one of your band shirts," Lucy sighed.

"One of my shirts?" Hyde asked confused.

"I don't know ok! They're soft and you have good taste in music! If you like the girl just go ask her yourself," Lucy turned on her heel and walked back to the kitchen.

❁

Lucy had been in the kitchen the rest of the night helping Kitty get stuff ready for their adult party and lunch and cookie, despite Eric's protest, for the party downstairs.

"Lucy, go take the cookies down. Laurie, finish stirring the punch," Kitty instructed as she took another batch of cookies out of the oven.

The two sisters went to the basement, "Cookies and punch, just like Mom promised," Laurie announced cheerily.

Eric began to complain but was interrupted by Laurie, "Eric, Mom made it the least you could do is drink a lot of it!"

Lucy looked at her sister curiously as she placed the plate of cookies down. Kelso came over to flirt with Laurie, who shot her sister a warning look.

"What?" Lucy mouthed, confused as she picked up a cookie. Before Laurie could tell her, Kitty called her back upstairs. Lucy just shrugged, Kelso ran out to buy Jackie a gift and not even a minute later the door opened again, letting Jackie and all her cheerleader friends in.

"Hey, I'm the cute blonde of the group!" Lucy said confused, looking to Donna.

"Sorry blondie, it's attack of the cheerleaders," Donna shrugged.

"Don't let the boys hear you say those words they might start drooling," Lucy warned before going to the couch to watch Christmas movies and drink some punch.

❁

A couple glasses of punch later and the girls were all a giggling mess, hanging all over Fez, and talking like they've been best friends forever.

"Hey, he was my friend first!" Jackie whined.

"No he wasn't, I was the one who invited him to hang with us," Lucy giggled, hugging Fez.

"What's wrong with Lucy and the pep squad?" Hyde asked.

"They seem extra stupid tonight," Donna said confused.

Just then Kelso came bursting into the basement, "Jackie, this is for you!"

"Michael!" Jackie jumped up to hug him, "What is it?" she asked excitedly as she took the box, "It's hot rollers! With steam!" Jackie ran over to the girls to show off her gift.

"Oh my goodness, this is so sweet!" Lucy cooed over the hot rollers.

"Eric!" Red's voice boomed over the music and noise of the basement.

"Oh that scared me so much I almost peed!" Lucy leaned over to whisper very loudly to Jackie, who nodded in agreement, petting her hot rollers.

"Before you explain the beer, maybe you can tell me why there are two state troopers in our living room confiscating the tree," Red said as he stepped slowly down the stairs.

Lucy waved her hand around wildly, "Ooh, I can!" Hyde quickly stepped over to her, putting her hand down.

"Oh yeah, funny story and true story—you're going to laugh!" Eric stalled.

"Get to the point!" Red yelled.

"They stole it," Lucy whispered, giggling, causing Hyde to cover her mouth and plaster a smile when Red looked to his daughter confused.

"We cut it off the side of the interstate," Eric explained.

"Well that's just great Eric. Now the party's over and I want what's left of my $40," Red held out his hand.

"Kelso, give it to him," Eric nodded.

Lucy started laughing hysterically, muffled behind Hyde's hand. "Oh no," her father rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I sort of spent it on Jackie's gift," Kelso said ashamed.

"Oh my hot rollers!" Jackie sprung up to hug Kelso, "You got in trouble for me! Oh Michael, I love you! And Hyde loves-"

"She's crazy!" Hyde jumped up.

Red looked around confused, "Eric, what the hell have these girls been drinking?" pointing to the sobbing cheerleaders and Lucy who had rolled off the couch doubled over in laughter, repeating inbetween breaths "Steven in love?" finding it hysterical.

"No Dad, I swear just Mom's punch!" Eric held up his hands.

Red picked up the punch bowl and took a drink, "Lousy with hooch! You intoxicated your sister! Look at her!"

They all looked to Lucy who was laughing so hard she was crying.

"Come on Jackie, I'll take you and the rest of the sob sisters home," Red walked up the stairs as the girls followed him. "Eric, take the beer and put the rest in my fridge. Donna, your father is upstairs and I suggest you join him. Lucy, for he love of God pull it together!" Lucy instantly snapped up silently. "Steven, help clean up and make sure she doesn't get into trouble. Kelso, go home!"

❁

Lucy sat in the basement, laying on the couch. "Alright LSD let's sober you up before Red loses it again," Hyde handed her a coffee mug.

Lucy nodded appreciatively as she sat up and cradled the mug as she took a sip. "How bad on the embarrassment scale was it tonight?"

Hyde thought for a moment before responding, "Remember when we all got drunk at Kelso's with Casey and then your parents called and you and Eric had to go home? But then you couldn't walk so I had to carry you and then we had to lie saying you sprained your ankle and that's why I carried you?"

Lucy nodded, cringing, "And the doctor looked at us like we were crazy and told my parents I was wasted."

"Yeah, about that bad because Red caught you doubled over on the floor and you were basically drooling over Fez," Hyde said.

"Oh no," Lucy whined.

"Could've been worse," Hyde shrugged. "Could've been like the first time you smoked—"

"We don't speak of it!" Lucy held her finger up to get him to shut up. "But I never got to give you your present," she realized. "It's over by the tree," Lucy pointed as Hyde got up and picked up two gifts. He handed her one wrapped in newspaper and she smiled. "Okay, open on three," she nodded.

"One, two, three," Hyde counted off before they opened their presents.

She pulled out a Led Zepplin shirt as Hyde pulled boots out of a box.

"Lucy—" Hyde started.

"Nope! Not a word! You're keeping them. Your uncle's boots give you blisters. I'll lie and say I got them from Goodwill if it makes you feel better."

Hyde raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "What! Fine, I'll lie, they're from Goodwill and only cost me $10," Lucy laughed.

She got up and went to the storage room, changing from her Christmas sweater and coming out in his Led Zepplin shirt. "Hey! What do you think?" she did a little spin in the shirt that came down to her mid-thigh.

"Well, you fill it out more than I ever did," Hyde joked.

"Shut up!" Lucy plopped down on the couch, shoving his shoulder and he shoved her back, the two continuing this until Hyde grabbed her hand so she'd stop, but she just shoved him with the other hand.

They turned on the tv and watched the late night Christmas cartoons and movies until Lucy fell asleep while Hyde mindlessly rubbed small circles with his thumb on her hand.

❁