Lucy was walking around the Pinciotti's living room, wearing her floral dress to Bob and Midge's vow renewal. Donna had been working hard to get the vows for her parents who wanted to write about how thin and good both of them were.

Jackie was still pissed with Kelso for burning her house and Laurie was still blackmailing Kelso. Then Donna and Eric disappeared for a couple minutes.

They finally came back in quietly and Lucy was taking a drink that Hyde gave her, gagging when she realized he mixed unfinished drinks. She stood beside Jackie, trying to put up with talking with Donna's annoying relatives, her drunk uncle kept on touching their butts and Lucy had to keep slapping him away. Jackie finally pulled Lucy over to Donna when her and Eric came back.

"Donna, one of your drunken uncles is touching us," Jackie complained.

Donna turned around and Jackie was shocked, "Oh my God."

It seemed to Jackie that Donna had I had sex written across her face. Lucy spit out her drink, not because it was disgusting but because all she could see was I had sex with your gawky brother.

"We need to talk right now!" Jackie said, dragging both girls out.

"You know I really don't want to talk about this," Lucy grimaced as she was pulled along.

❁

The girls sat out on the porch, Lucy holding her head, not ready to hear about Donna and Eric's escapade under the sheets.

"All right, tell me everything," Jackie said.

"No," Donna said.

"Oh thank God, for my sanity," Lucy sighed.

"Come on Donna. We're supposed to be friends. Aren't we friends?" Jackie asked.

"Well yeah," Donna nodded.

"Okay, so—What'd it look like?" Jackie asked eagerly.

Lucy screeched, "I only took baths with him when we were babies I don't need to know please," she begged, plugging her ears.

"Okay, we'll come back to that one," Jackie compromised. "So how was it?"

"Jackie I don't really want to talk about it," Donna said quietly.

"Do you regret it?" Lucy asked, actually concerned.

"Oh, that bad?" Jackie asked sympathetically.

"No," Donna said quickly. "It was great, just not what I expected. I don't think we did it right," Donna said confused.

"So Eric's not good?" Jackie asked.

"It was more like neither of us was good."

Lucy spoke up, "Donna, there's no way you weren't good, Eric had a huge smirk, a disgusting smirk."

"Besides, it's not up to the woman to be good," Jackie explained.

"I don't know guys. I love Eric, but when the moment came, it was just like, awkward and weird and I don't know I just felt so far away. You know?" Donna asked.

"No but go on," Jackie said entranced.

Donna looked to Lucy, who just shrugged.

"I mean, during it I just remember thinking This is it? This is what everyone..." Donna trailed off.

"Everyone what?" Jackie and Lucy asked confused.

Donna sighed, "That's as far as I got."

"That's the problem," Jackie smirked.

"No, there's no problem," Donna explained.

"It's a problem," Jackie continued.

Lucy stifled a laugh, "Oh my God! You know what, I'm very very sorry but I'm so so glad. It's such a relief you know? Knowing my brother is bad in bed. I mean, not a relief for you of course."

"You know what, everything's fine, just don't tell anyone about this okay?" Donna pleaded.

"Okay," Jackie and Lucy agreed.

❁

Lucy stumbled down the basement stairs, still giggling.

Hyde, Eric, and Fez turned to look at her quizzically.

"Are you drunk?" Fez asked confused.

"Well, she is a lightweight," Hyde nodded.

Lucy stood there, looking offended, "I am not a lightweight!"

"Okay," the three boys said with raised eyebrows.

"Ooh Scooby-Doo!" Lucy cheered, going to sit with Hyde.

Hyde leaned forward to whisper in her ear, "What had you laughing?" he asked confused.

Lucy stifled a laugh thinking about it again, "Why don't you ask Eric?" she whispered.

"Forman, what the hell are you grinning about?" Hyde looked to Eric.

Eric turned to Hyde, "What? A guy can't grin?"

"I think, that maybe, Forman and Donna finally made the beasts with two backs," Hyde smirked.

Lucy scrunched up her nose, "Why'd you have to say it like that?"

"The backosaurus?" Fez asked concerned.

"No Fezzie," Lucy shook her head.

"So?" Hyde asked, wrapping his arms around Lucy.

Eric leaned forward excitedly, "Well, Hyde, I'm not saying yes, and I'm not saying no, but I'm especially not saying no."

Hyde sighed, "Thank God man, I'm telling you I couldn't deal with one more week of that Will they? Won't they? Crap."

"Oh just wait it gets better," Lucy tapped his arm excitedly. "Eric, can I ask you a question?"

She was cut off when Kelso came stumbling into the room through the door. "Hey! What's going on?" he asked grinning.

"Donna made Forman a man," Hyde explained.

"A more manly boy," Lucy nodded.

Eric chuckled, "Okay, yeah she did."

"Really?" Kelso asked smiling, "So, how was it?"

"Well, boys...and girl," Eric quickly added, "I'll tell you, in that one magic moment, the two people Donna and Eric ceased to exist and were replaced instead by one perfect being. Donric Formciotti."

Lucy furrowed her eyebrows but had to bite her lip to avoid yelling at her brother's ignorance. "How long did the one perfect moment last?" Lucy smirked.

"Eh," Eric waved his hand, unsure of how to answer.

"So Eric, you're saying it was good?" Kelso baited.

Eric chuckled, "Kelso, was Michelangelo's Creation of Adam good?"

Kelso stood there, unsure for a moment.

Lucy turned slightly to tap Kelso's arm, "Are Charlie's Angels hot?"

"Oh yeah," Kelso nodded.

"Yes Kelso it was good!" Eric yelled.

Kelso nodded, "See well my first time, Jackie called me the Apollo rocket of love. What kind of rocket were you?"

Hyde tapped Lucy, not completely believing the odd nickname, "No it's true, but there's more, I'll tell you later," she whispered.

"Where are you going with this Kelso?" Eric asked annoyed.

Kelso smirked, "Nowhere. Except Jackie said you were totally lame in the sack!"

"Jackie said?" Eric yelled, looking to Lucy.

"Little brother, thank you for making my life amazing," Lucy smiled.

"Yeah, Donna told them and Jackie told me," Kelso laughed. "Oh! But you can't tell Jackie I told you 'cause she'd get pissed."

"It's okay Eric, maybe sex isn't your thing," Fez comforted him.

"Yeah, like how sports aren't your thing!" Lucy said smiling.

❁

Lucy was sitting in the basement with Hyde, about ready to fall asleep to the Scooby-Doo marathon and Eric came rushing in distraught.

"What do I do?" he yelled.

The two stayed silent, not sure if it was rhetorical or not.

"You could go get—" Hyde started joking.

Lucy held out her hand, "Don't say middle age hooker, it makes him uncomfortable. Alright sit down Eric," Lucy gestured to the spot on the couch beside her.

Eric sat down nervously beside Lucy, "Look, you're gonna be alright. Personally I'm thrilled that you're terrible in bed. What is it? Do you finish too soon and don't give her any time? Can you not get it up? Do you not have enough forepl—"

"Luce!" Eric yelled distraught as Hyde chuckled.

"Oh right sorry," she waved her hand, "Look, you're gonna have to talk to Donna. Just make sure, if she by some miracle let's you do it again, that you pay attention to her and make her feel special."

"Practice makes perfect," Hyde nodded.

Lucy cringed, "Ok, our walls are super thin so if you're going to be doing stuff please just let me know so I can hide down here."

Eric nodded, "Practice makes perfect, make Donna feel special, don't let you get scarred. Got it."

Eric leaned in to hug Lucy but she leaned back, "Sorry, I can't, you've touched my bestfriend."

Eric nodded, "Right, sorry," he dashed out of the basement to head to the Pinciotti's.

Lucy raised her eyebrows as she watched her brother leave, "God he's eager, I'll be staying down here."

"Yeah, wouldn't want to put you through that," Hyde agreed.

"I hope my first time doesn't suck," Lucy sighed, resting her head on her hand.

"It wasn't Dick Thompson?" Hyde asked.

"No, although I'm sure he wanted to," Lucy rolled her eyes. "And maybe if he hadn't been such a dick he would've been; I just need my first time to be with someone I care about, I don't want to end up like Laurie who can't even keep track of who her first was. What about you?"

"My first time?" Hyde asked.

"Anytime, did you like any of them?" Lucy asked genuinely curious.

Hyde thought for a moment, "No, I didn't."

"That's just how you're going to live?" Lucy scoffed.

"Probably," Hyde shrugged.

Lucy sat up, eyebrows raised, "Boys."

"Chicks," Hyde scoffed.

Lucy sneered and threw the pillow over at his chair, which he caught and threw back at her, eliciting a smile from her.

❁

Everyone sat around the dinner table as Eric shoveled food into his mouth, Lucy scrunched up her nose.

"Hey, Mom, anymore fried chicken?" Eric asked inbetween swallowing mouthfuls of food.

"Well, my goodness, you're a hungry little bee," Kitty noted.

Hyde smirked, "Yeah Forman, whatcha been doing? Exercising?"

"In a manner of speaking," Eric nodded.

"Yeah, but you still look like a scrawny little boy," Lucy taunted.

"Hey, I'm too smart for you idiots to try innuendo with me. Got it?" Red asked.

"Yes sir," the three chorused.

"You gonna eat that big boy?" Eric winked as he pointed to Red's plate.

"Please God," Lucy muttered, hitting her fist against her forehead.

❁