Lucy sat with the some of the guys in the basement playing cards.

Jackie burst through the basement door in a frenzy, "Lucy! I just saw—I just—Michael, he's a rat, he's been cheating on me!"

"What? Well, surely there must be some sort of a mistake!" Eric yelled.

"It sure is a mind blower!" Hyde agreed.

Lucy hit them upside the head, "Eric! Steven! Shut up! Come here Jackie," Lucy pulled the younger girl into a hug.

"Well that's it, Michael and I are over," she said in shock.

"Really?" Fez jumped up, standing besides Lucy and Jackie. "And by over you mean?"

"I mean, over and done! Forever!" Jackie yelled, pulling back from the hug.

Lucy nodded, "That's the spirit!"

"And by forever you mean?" Fez asked again.

"And after everything I put up with! I mean, God, him taking Pam Macy to the prom, setting my house on fire, lying about Laurie. God!" Jackie yelled frustrated.

"To be fair, that's only the stuff you know about," Hyde pointed out.

Lucy turned around in shock with a look of disbelief as the other boys nodded. Jackie stormed out and Lucy chased after her.

"Jackie!" Lucy called after her friend, "I'll get ice cream and Donna, come on," she nodded towards Donna's house.

The three girls sat on the porch, ice cream tub being passed around.

"Guys, I know we're friends but would it have killed you to say Jackie, I know you love him, but Michael's a jerk?"

"Jackie, I think my exact words were I know you love him but Michael's a jerk," Donna said.

"Most boys are jerks," Lucy nodded.

"So...have you seen him since?" Donna asked.

"No, I mean, he's a liar and a cheater. Ugh maybe that's how all guys are," Jackie sighed.

Donna nodded, "I know how you feel. Like it's bad enough what Eric did to Mr. Bonkers, then he lied to me."

"Yeah," Jackie said, dragging out the word, "Eric put off telling you something because he didn't want to hurt you. Whoo! That is so much worse than him cheating on you with another woman. Oh wait, no it's not!"

"Well, I guess Eric was just trying to be nice, maybe I'm overreacting," Donna said.

"Happens to the best of us," Lucy said, passing the ice cream.

"Look, let me tell you something, until goody-goody Eric cheats on you with your stupid dead cat I suggest you shut up!" Jackie yelled.

❁

It had been a week since the whole fiasco breakup, Lucy had been peacefully napping in the basement when she fell asleep watching tv until Fez and Kelso decided to come over and be loud and obnoxious. She couldn't even fall back asleep to ignore them.

She huffed as she groggily walked to the small makeshift bedroom and closed the door.

"Well you just look chipper doll," Hyde smirked, sitting up in his cot.

Lucy rolled her eyes, "They won't let me nap."

Hyde sighed, "Yeah alright, stop your pouting," he scooted over on his cot and made room for her to lay beside him.

"Playboy? Really?" Lucy raised her eyebrows in judgement as she looked the pile of magazines by the cot.

"Look, you're intruding in my room," Hyde reminded her.

"Sorry Steven," Lucy said mockingly as she laid down, curling up beside him, the two quickly falling asleep.

❁

Lucy jumped awake at the slamming of the basement door.

"What?" Hyde mumbled against her shoulder, his arm still around her waist.

Lucy smiled, "We've been sleeping for a couple hours, come on get up," she said, pulling at strands of his hair to annoy him.

Hyde caught her wrist and she laughed as he pulled her back down and she fought to get him to let go of her.

"Quit it," she squealed, as she successfully got on top of him, pinning his arms down.

The two laughed breathlessly for a moment before they realized their awkward position, Lucy got up, pushing her hair behind her ears.

Hyde stood behind her, "Well if you didn't mind it, we could always—" he started to tease.

Lucy scoffed as she turned to slap him, "Shut up."

"She's taking the break up pretty hard huh? Cool," they heard Kelso say as they walked out.

"Shut up man you cried like a baby," Hyde said.

Lucy chuckled as she sat with Hyde, receiving a questioning look from Donna.

"Whoa, I did not cry, I had something in my eyes," Kelso defended.

Hyde looked over at the boy, "For a week?"

"No wait, let me guess," Lucy started.

"Allergies," Kelso and Lucy said at once.

"Is it so wrong to feel?" Kelso yelled.

Donna rolled her eyes, "Anyways, Jackie's in really bad shape."

"Is she stress eating yet?" Lucy whispered, leaning over. Donna shook her head and Lucy nodded, "That's what she'll do next."

"So Kelso, now that you and Jackie are no longer an item, I can ask her out right?" Fez asked.

"What?" Kelso yelled, "No, since when do you like Jackie?"

"Yeah, Fez I don't think that's a good idea," Donna shook her head.

Lucy chimed in, "They say the rule is half the time of the relationship, I'm not sure how that works with how on-again-off-again it was but..."

"Yeah, Fez, man, that's a bad idea, Jackie's on the rebound right now, why don't you just give her a break?" Hyde added.

"What? Since when did you like Jackie? All right, does everybody her now like Jackie?" Kelso asked.

Lucy furrowed her eyebrows and turned to look at Hyde, who just shook his head as he turned the page in his book.

Eric raised his hand, "I still don't."

"Well, thank you, Eric," Kelso nodded.

"Fez, Hyde's just saying that Jackie's really vulnerable right now," Donna clarified.

"Yes," Fez said, standing up, "So I must move fast before she gets her self-esteem back."

"Yeah, you can't blame her for being down, after all, I did dump her," Kelso chuckled.

"Do you try to be an idiot or does it come naturally?" Lucy shook her head, disappointed.

"Yeah, she dumped you," Eric added.

Kelso shrugged, "Hey, I don't like to get into specifics."

"Oh, go tell it on the mountain," Fez sighed. "Nothing will stop me from asking Jackie on a date. Not even ninjas."

Fez went into a trance and Lucy leaned back to whisper, "What does he think about?"

"He's in a world of his own," Hyde said.

"Fez," Kelso said, shoving him into reality, "Go ahead Fez. Ask Jackie out, she won't go 'cause you're foreign but go ahead and ask."

"You're damn right I will," Fez smirked, "Hiya!"

❁

Lucy stood in the kitchen the next morning, trying to subtly stuff her Hub apron into her bag, she had to pick up an extra shift and sneak the money into her Mom's purse.

"No Laurie, I am not giving you money to buy new hot rollers!" Kitty yelled, snatching the purse from Laurie. "Straight hair is not the end of the world."

"Actually Mom, Laurie's world is smaller, much more shallow that the average person's," Eric teased.

"But it has more volume, because of hot rollers," Lucy smiled mockingly.

Laurie whined, "Come on Mom, curls are important for my self-esteem!"

"Oh, you know what else might be good for your self esteem? Not being the village whore," Eric said, Lucy gave him a highfive.

"Are you trying to start something with me little boy?" Laurie asked, "Because while you have to go to work, all I have to do is sit around and think of ways to hurt you."

"Oh I don't know, as village whore, I'd think your day's all full up," Eric retorted.

"Shut up!" Laurie yelled, clearly off her game.

"Ha! I win!" Eric yelled.

"You're all wrong so can it!" Red yelled as he walked in.

Lucy pouted as she walked out taking the Cruiser to The Hub since Red would drive Eric to Price Mart, "I didn't even say anything."

❁

Lucy walked in the house smelling like greasy fries and flat soda, a little kid had dumped his entire drink on her when he found out they only had Coca Cola and not Pepsi.

She huffed as she stormed through the kitchen, Laurie and Hyde just sitting down to eat while Red and Kitty were on a date. The two looked at the disgruntled girl curiously as she cursed, walking upstairs to get all the grease off of her.

She came back downstairs, starving, with fresh clothes on.

"What about me?" Eric asked, walking in the back door.

"Speaking of the spindly-armed devil," Laurie smirked.

Hyde grinned, wrapping an arm around Lucy as she crossed her arm, not sure what was going on.

"Luce, I think they called us pathetic," Eric said, equally confused.

"Us? Or you?" Lucy asked.

"Well, usually insults from Laurie come in a package," Eric explained.

"What's pathetic?" The twins turned to Laurie.

Laurie shrugged, "Nothing. At least nothing we can share with you, gomers."

"Oh yeah, well, nice hair," Eric stammered.

"It's looking a little flat," Lucy nodded.

Hyde and Laurie began bursting out laughing, Lucy pulled away from Hyde and stood by Eric, "What?" the twins chorused.

But they were too busy laughing to tell them.

❁

The next day, Lucy sat in the basement with the boys talking about Fez's date with Jackie the night before.

"So what happened?" Kelso asked. "Did you kiss her? 'Cause I'll kill you if you kissed her."

Hyde was dealing out cards for a game and Lucy kept trying to peak under everyone's deck as Hyde shoved her with his shoulder, her shoving back.

"Oh no, I didn't want to kiss her. I wanted to give her a napkin," Fez said defeated. "There was not a moment when she did not have a face full of food. I was disgusted."

"Really? Hey, all is forgiven buddy," Kelso smiled, getting up to get a popsicle.

Eric spoke up, "Ok, fine Hyde, you don't want to tell us what Laurie said? I'm fine with that."

"I'm telling you man, she didn't say anything," Hyde shrugged, trying to push Lucy away from his deck of cards.

"Eric," Lucy sighed, "Just let it go," she scooted into Hyde's lap, him not even noticing what she was doing and wrapping an arm around her.

"Easy for you to say!" Eric yelled. "You've become blind! Because that's exactly what Laurie is known for. Not saying bitchy things."

"Hey Hyde," Kelso smirked sitting beside them, "What did Laurie say about them?"

"I'll tell you later man it's so bad!" Hyde laughed. "Funny but bad."

Lucy frowned but just shrugged, "You know Hyde, you got a real crappy hand," she nodded towards the cards in his hand in front of her.

"Dammit," Hyde sighed, pushing Lucy off of him and she fell onto Kelso's lap, giggling as she sat up and stole his popsicle.

"You got nothing," Eric said doubtfully.

"Huh? Yeah, I got nothing," Hyde smirked.

"Okay fine," Eric sighed, "I don't care, she told you about summer camp. Fine. They called me Dr. Pee-Pee."

Hyde and Kelso attempted to keep a straight face and Lucy sat between the two quickly shaking her head with wide eyes.

Eric continued, "I couldn't sleep on the top bunk and I was 10, so you know, who cares? I'm Dr. Pee-Pee," Eric shrugged. "And she probably told you that Lucy was mistaken for a boy with her hat on and they almost put her in the boy showers."

"Enough! She wouldn't have told them that!" Lucy yelled.

The boys started to snicker, "Dr. Pee-Pee. You are so Dr. Pee-Pee!" Kelso laughed.

"Oh really? Big Chief Brown Bottom?" Eric retorted.

Everyone looked at Kelso in shock and Lucy smiled as she remembered the moment she thought of the nickname.

"I'm sorry, sorry man, sorry," Kelso said quickly, "Just everyone shut up."

❁

Lucy sat outside with the girls. Jackie was a mess after the break up and eating her feelings away. She had even become less bitchy, as if she had lost the will.

"And then after I finished putting all my pictures of Michael in my special Michael box, I realized that I'm so totally over him," Jackie nodded.

"You're not over that jerky," Lucy said.

Donna agreed, "Liar, look at yourself. And if you keep stuffing your face like this, you're gonna get-"

Jackie interrupted, "Don't you dare say it you bitch!"

"Fat!" Donna said loudly.

Jackie whined in horror, "No!" worriedly eating more jerky. "Guys I'm scared! I have to control myself!"

"Okay, then let's start by you handing Donna the jerky," Donna said calmly, she reached for the bag before Jackie slapped her away.

"Back off you Amazon! Look I just need more time!"

"Okay, you slapping my hand when I tried to take your jerky is something a fat girl would do," Donna scolded.

Jackie gasped, shoving the bag into Donna's hands.

"Look, you just need to find a different outlet. Maybe try crushing men's spirits! You were good at that!" Lucy said encouragingly.

❁

Eric and Lucy stormed into the basement to challenge Laurie.

"Okay Laurie, we know what you told Hyde," Eric said.

Hyde and Fez stood behind the couch, watching the fight unfold.

"What are you talking about losers?" Laurie asked.

"The camp. Story. Dr. Pee-Pee-" Eric started.

"Them calling me Luke Forman!" Lucy interjected.

"You're dead!" Eric yelled. "Well, I know some pretty horrible things about you too little lady. Fellas, Laurie waxes her legs, eyebrows, toes, and shoulder blades."

Lucy chimed in, "I caught her waxing her mustache once."

"In the fifth grade, Eric sent away from the Charles Atlas kit because 'cause a girl kicked sand in his face. Lucy here had a lisp until she was seven," Laurie countered.

"You stuffed in high school," Eric retorted.

"So did you," both the sisters scoffed.

"Who's side are you on?" Eric whispered horrified at his twin.

"Sorry," Lucy winced, "Laurie sent me to go pick up medicine for a nasty rash when she was in highschool after staying out at a football game that weekend," she smirked.

"You're both the result of a broken condom!" Laurie yelled.

Eric nodded, "Last year, Laurie used all her birthday money on a back massager. Which isn't fooling anyone by the way."

Laurie smirked, knowing the best comeback, "That's not as bad as the time I walked in on Eric with his Dorothy Hamill poster and he was all—"

Eric pointed defensively, "Laurie was born with a tail!"

Hyde and Fez gasped in disbelief.

"The line! You crossed it!" Lucy screeched nervously.

"I hate you!" Laurie screeched, flailing up the stairs.

Fez and Hyde looked towards the twins in disbelief of the secret.

"It's true," Eric nodded, holding out his finger and waving it like a tail.

❁