okay, so this is the end! I wanted to thank everyone who read this and enjoyed it and commented/rated on it. I love you all and you are my inspiration

JAX

If someone would’ve told me a year ago that this is how my life would be, I would’ve laughed. I would’ve never believed that I would be able to give myself completely to someone else again. Now, as I lie here and gaze at this beautiful, strong, amazing woman sleeping next to me I still can’t believe it. She was lying on her side with the sheets wrapped around her sleeping soundly. I knew I should wake her, but I didn’t have the heart. Her hair cascaded down around her shoulder and spilled onto the pillow. I smiled and gently brushed back a curl that was over her eyes. She smiled in her sleep and reached out for me. I put my hand on her cheek and caressed it.

“Good morning.” I whispered.

Her eyes fluttered opened and she looked at me with a sleepy smile.

“Good morning.” She said back.

I leaned over and kissed her forehead softly before pulled myself out of bed. She pouted and I chuckled. McKayla propped herself up on her elbow and watched me.

“Do we have to get up yet?” She asked.

I sighed softly and grabbed my towel from the floor.

“If you want to make your flight, yes.” I said.

Her smile fell and she looked away. Today McKayla was flying back home to see her family and explain the whole Derek situation, minus the part where I killed him. Without another word she got up and followed me to the bathroom. I smirked at her and put my hand on her face as I kissed her. She smiled into it and shut the door with her foot.

God, did I love this woman. After we finally managed to get clean in the shower, McKayla rushed into the bedroom to finish packing. I went into Abel’s room and took him out of the crib.

“Hey buddy.” I said as I held him close.

He was getting so big. Opie was right, he did look like me. Hopefully I’ll be able to steer him in the right direction instead of following my footsteps like I did with my own old man.

“Close!” McKayla shouted.

I laughed at looked at Abel.

“Let’s go see what momma’s doing.” I said.

He smiled and I went into the bedroom. McKayla was sitting on top of the suitcase trying to zip it shut. She had clothes all over the bed and the floor and hanging out of the drawers. I chuckled and leaned against the door. She was wearing one of my shirts and jeans and her hair was pulled high on top of her head. She looked beautiful.

“Babe, you’re going for a week not a month.” I said.

She put her hands on her hips and huffed at me. I laughed and handed her Abel. She got off of the suitcase and I pulled the zipper around it with ease. McKayla said nothing and just walked out of the room. I chuckled and carried it out to the kitchen. I heard Abel laughing and saw McKayla kissing his cheeks. I smiled but I felt a tug on my heart.

“He’s gonna miss you.” I said.

She didn’t look at me, but she nodded.

“I’m gonna miss him too.”

I walked over to her and pulled them both close to me. I pressed my lips against her temple and I felt her arm around my waist.

“I’m scared Jax.” She whispered.

She pulled away from me slightly and looked up. I raised my eyebrow and touched her face.

“There’s nothing to be scared of babe. They’re your family. They love you and they just want to see you. And if it doesn’t go well you can call me and I’ll arrange for you to come home.” I told her.

McKayla smiled a little and I kissed her lips. There was a knock at the door not long after. Neeta was watching Abel while I took McKayla to the airport. She gave Abel one last long hug before getting into the truck.

“What if he forgets me while I’m going?” She asked with a tear in her eye.

I took her hand and pulled out of the driveway.

“Don’t worry. He won’t. He loves you too much.” I said.

That made her smile and we drove the rest of the way in silence. I couldn’t go with her the whole way through the airport so I waited with her as long as I could before she had to go through security. We sat together in an uncomfortable silence for at least a half hour.

“I wish you could come with me.” She said finally.

I sighed and hung my head down.

“I know baby. I wish I could too, but with ATF sniffing around again it wouldn’t look good if I just left town.” I said.

For some reason that ATF bitch was back and until we figured out why, we had to lay low. Since McKayla never met her, I figured it was okay for her to leave. McKayla just nodded and I saw a tear slip down her cheek. I looked up at the clock and winced. She had to get through security now if she wanted to make her plane.

“It’s time.” I said in a low voice.

She took a deep breath and pulled herself up. I stood too and took her hand in mine.

“I love you.” I said.

She smiled softly and nodded.

“I love you too. I’ll call you when I land.” She said.

I nodded and let her hand fall. She bit her lip and turned and started for the security line. As I watched her walk away, I felt that pull at my heart again. Before I knew it was I running down the hallway.

“McKayla!” I shouted.

She stopped and turned with a confused expression on her face. I ran to her as fast as I could and lifted her up in my arms. I held onto her so tightly and crashed my lips against hers with so much love and passion. I had so much that I wanted to say to her, but I couldn’t find that words. I could only hope that this was enough.

When I put her down, she was grinning from ear to ear. I smiled back at her and touched her face one more time.

“I love you.” She said.

I nodded and this time when she turned to leave, I let her go.

~ ~

“Did she get home then?” Gemma asked later.

We were sitting at the bar in the club house having a drink after church. McKayla had called me just before to tell me that she landed and that everything was going fine.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” I said.

Gemma nodded and snubbed out her cigarette. She stood up and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“You okay baby?” She asked.

I sighed and took a sip of my beer. It had only been a few hours and I had been pretty busy with club shit so I didn’t really notice that she was gone. Now, since it was time to go home I didn’t know if I was going to be okay.

“I guess we’ll find out.” I said.

Gemma put her hand on her hip and slung her purse on her shoulder.

“You want me to keep the baby tonight?” She asked.

I shook my head and got up from my stool.

“Nah, I’ll be fine.” I said.

She nodded and kissed me again. I walked her out to her car and then got on my bike and headed home. I sent Neeta home and kissed Abel goodnight and settled down on the couch with a drink to get ready for bed. A couple of hours later, there was a knock on the door.

“What the hell?” I said to myself.

Slowly, I set my glass on the table and picked my gun up. I looked out the window and almost let the gun fall right out of my hands.

There, standing on my doorstep was Tara Knowles. Before she could knock I had the door open.

“Tara.” I breathed.

She swallowed hard and tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Jax.” She said.

A smile crept across her face. She took a step close to me and I stepped back.

“What are you doing here?” I asked her.

She sighed and shrugged.

“I’ve missed you Jax, I’ve missed Abel.”

I shook my head and put my hand on the doorframe to block her from coming in the house. My heart was pounding and my head was spinning. No. She can’t do this. She can’t just pop in and out of my life whenever she feels like it. I can’t take it and it’s not fair to Abel. Plus, I love McKayla. I couldn’t give her up for anyone.

“It’s too late Tara. You turned your back on him and me a long time ago. I won’t let you hurt him again.” I said to her.

I could see the hurt in her eyes and she stepped back.

“Jax, please. I love you. I know I’ve made mistakes but I want to fix them.” She begged.

My grip tightened on the frame and I shook my head.

“No, Tara. I’m done. I don’t want you ever to come near me or my son again.” I said darkly.

Tears fell down her face and she hung her head down.

“Get out.” I said in a low voice.

Tara didn’t say anything else. She turned around and got back in her car. I made sure she was gone before going back in the house. Shaking, I lit a cigarette and sunk into a kitchen chair.

“Shit.” I said to myself.

I took out my cell phone and dialed McKayla’s number.

“Hi baby.” She said.

Just the sound of her voice settled my nerves. I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands.

“Hey.”

“Are you okay?” She asked.

I sighed deeply and ashed my cigarette.

“I am now. I just needed to tell you I love you more than anything in this world.” I said.

I could hear her shift around and a door close.

“Jax, what happened?” She said seriously.

I chuckled and snubbed my cigarette out.

“Nothing babe, I just needed to hear your voice.” I said.

She sighed and I could just see her biting her lip.

“Well I love you too Jax, and I can’t wait to be back home with you.” She said.

I walked back to Abel’s room and sat down on the daybed.

“I’ll be right here waiting for you. I’m not going anywhere.” I said.

“Good. Goodnight Jax.” She said.

“Goodnight McKayla.”

After we hung up, I took out my notebook and started writing to Abel about flying straight. The key to that, I found out was finding the right woman to stand behind you. The kind of woman that would break a porn stars nose because she was jealous. The kind that would understand cutting out another man’s heart in revenge. The kind of woman that was like his mother, McKayla.

I looked over at my sleeping son and smiled at him. I pulled the blanket up to his shoulders and rested my hand on his tiny body.

“I love you little man. Mommy will be home soon.”