Knowing it and seeing it are two different things.

Suzanne Collins

"You didn't have to do it that hard." She mutters, her hands inspecting the mark on her chest. We've just returned from our jog and she only just realized that hickeys don't wash off with sweat or water. I'm surprised Mayella managed to do four kilometres without attempting to drag us to Wendy's.

My girl's getting stronger and it's sexy as fuck.

Mayella stands in front of the bathroom mirror shirtless with flushed cheeks and love bites all over. My love bites.

"Yes, I did." I respond, shoving my face into the crook of her neck as I hug her from behind. God, that was a good nights sleep. She's so warm. Mainly her b-

"B-but you left a mark. And it's not even heart-shaped." She pouts and I kiss it away, making a smile appear right after. Fuck, she's everything. Which is why I gave her one of my own Maya-marks- thirteen of them. There's no fucking way I'm calling them Ricky-marks. Doesn't sound right when I say it. Also, she gets sad because I'm copyrighting her.

"Want me to try again ?" Her face morphs into one of horror merged with lust and she hides her chest from my eyes, hopping into the bedroom to get changed. Horny ass, she definitely wants it. She liked it so much. And that made me so damn happy.

"W-what ? Nope, no that's ok. No more squishing please." I cross my arms and lean against the doorway, watching my girl pick out one of my hoodies before putting it in 'our' part of the closet which is essentially my clothes that she likes. All of it smells like her too.

God, she always looks so damn edible. I just wanna-

I feel a poke on my nose and I only then realise I've been daydreaming. Mayella crosses her arms and looks at me knowingly.

"Think innocent thoughts, babycakes." She lightly punches me on my shoulder, giving it a kiss afterwards before going back to feeding Kipp.

I head into the kitchen and take some cereal out. After preparing breakfast, I wash the penguin cups in case she wants tea. There's a slight itch on my back so I turn with a frown, thinking it's Kipp who wants more breakfast, only to come to face with a Mayella whos shoved her face up my shirt- also for breakfast. She can't even reach the neckline.

"Peek-a-boo!" She grins so fucking adorably, rubbing her nose on my chest when it itches. I smile- something I've found much easier to do ever since her. Mayella looks up with doe eyes, standing on her toes so she can kiss my cheek.

Damn. My girl cute as fuck.

And horny.

But so fucking cute.

"Get out of my shirt." I reach across the counter, finding it difficult to do so when Mayella kisses my abs. Damn, she wants to do it on the table or what ?

Like you mind, horny mf.

"No. I like it here." Mayella defiantly shakes her head and shifts closer, attempting to take a quick nap inside my shirt.

"Fine. My turn, then." I inch a hand inside her hoodie, my fingers skimming her soft skin and eventually her-

"W-wha-Ooo, cereal. Thank you, babycakes." Mayella retreats from her cave and skips to the table, placing the cut strawberries on her cereal.

Not fair.

I head into the room to grab a jacket incase she gets cold. My phone rings and I answer, both curious and annoyed that someone's calling me when I should be eating Mayel-breakfast. When I should be eating breakfast.

"Hey. I'm gonna rush this since Opal's hungry. T's drinking. A lot. You need to come by or something since he's causing a fuss with the bartender." I hear Dean's panicked voice on the other line and my brows furrow in both worry and confusion.

"Aight, sure. I'll be there in a few. Keep him safe." He says he'll do so before hanging up. T never drinks. I ignore all the questions I have and set them aside for after I drop her off.

"Um, you don't need to pick me up since I'll be going somewhere after college." Mayella mutters as she holds onto my hand after apologetically waving goodbye at kipp. Kipp sat in her cereal and they had a fight.

"You gon' tell me where this 'somewhere' is ?" She's not one for keeping secrets so I ask, knowing that if it was important she'd tell me. Mayella shakes her head subtly after squeezing my hand with her little one.

"Can I tell you later ?" I nod. After giving her a kiss on her forehead and smudging her lip gloss all over her pretty mouth, she pouts angrily as we reach the car.

"Look what you did. Meanie."

"I am looking at what I did and it looks fucking beautiful." I murmur slyly, expecting some sort of 'no more kissies' retort.

"Wh-oh, aw thank you babycakes." Mayella blushes and puts both hands on her face to calm herself down, completely forgetting about me ruining her makeup or the three hickeys that visible on her neck. Won't hurt her if she doesn't know. The boys at her college should know what's up already. The ring should've been enough.

Damn, I wish I did software engineering too.

␈␈␈

"Ayo, Ricky!"

T lifts a shot up as his tired eyes catch sight of me. I nod at Dean, who's occupied with Opal on his lap. He told me T was getting drunk way too often. T never drinks.

"Aight, what's up ? You're drinking too much. Don't you have class ?" My hands instinctively push away the bottle of beer in front of him. Fuck, I hate seeing my friends like this. He shrugs before deciding to sleep on the bar table. I push him back up before glaring at him. He shouldn't even be here right now.

"Hey! Fuck you, man. You there ! Another beer. And fuck classes too !" T winks at the bartender. The fourty something man makes a face before rushing into the kitchen.

"T. Get the fuck up and let's go home." I shake my head before sighing, and furrowing my brows at what he says after.

"Home ? She's there, bro. It's no longer home. A fucking nightmare, that's a better way to say it." She ? He's always had a rough patch with girls but not once did he ever mention it.

"She ? Your girl ?"

"My girl ? Nah, man. The whole town's girl. Don't call her that. I don't want a girl like that. I never wanted..." His expression falls.

"Fuck this, put it on my tab." The bartender nods and I get up, hooking one arm around T. He mutters something to himself and I grit my teeth at how pitiful he looks. T's strong, and I hate whatever put him in this position. Or rather, whoever.

Once I carry him out of the bar, I sit him down in the car before asking Raf for the girl's address. T pukes on the sidewalk as I dial the number. This is why my girl and I don't drink.

Even though seeing him in this condition is both worrying and sad as hell, it makes me thankful that I have Mayella. Sometimes it takes seeing what you could've had to be appreciative of what you have now.

And I have her.

"Look at you. You're always fucking dreaming about her, heh? You got what I want. I want that, man. I want that typa' die hard love." He points towards my chain. "I don't want this. I don't. I can't stand it. Not anymore. Not anymore." My jaw locks when I see wet patches on his face. T rests his head on the seat and leans backwards, a fist over his mouth. I give him a pat, and a look that says I'm here for him because he deserves to know that.

He only nods and shifts his face, probably planning on sleeping. Or hiding the tears. It's okay to cry. She taught me that.

What the fuck did his girlfriend do ? Something so bad that it made him like this ? My fingers curl around the wheel in anger as I navigate towards the house. Anyone who hurts my friends deserve to get hurt.

It's a small house in a hood that's not very famous for its safety. T snores as I shake him to tell him that we're here.

And then the fear flashes in his eyes.

The same fear I saw in Mayella's eyes each time I dropped her home.

I clench my jaw, suppressing the anger based on assumptive situations. I let him out while making sure to keep one hand around him in case he falls again. A few knocks, and rings, on the door later and it opens to reveal a 5'3 girl who's wearing some shorts and a shirt. She scans me up and down before her eyes switch to T, and a look of disgust masked with worry appears.

I know that all too well.

"He got drunk. And he has a bruise the size of a fist on his cheek. You know anything about that ?" I watch her intently as I wait for her answer, referring to the crimson untreated bruise on T's face. I pretended not to notice because Dean didn't, and I know no one likes showing their bruises. Her face falls and then she adjusts herself to appear tense, just like a damn liar.

"Bruise ? Oh my God. Here, help him inside." Shes not even trying to fake it. I walk in, scrunching up my nose at the foul smell inside. T sits on the couch and I follow as she passes into the kitchen.

"Say the word and I'm taking you out of here."

"No. I was drunk out of my fuckin' mind, Ricky. God knows what shit I let out. I told you, and your girl, that I got jumped. Nothing more." He doesn't make eye contact with me and I take a deep breath in. Fucks sake. It's even harder when they don't want help.

My throat feels constricted as I take in the situation.

It's too similar to Mayella's. Fuck. I need to see her. I take a few deep breaths and keep her face in my mind to calm me down. Better. Nodding to T, I take one last look at him before getting up.

"I'm heading out now. Get some food, call me when your sober so we can talk. And get that treated." T nods, sending me a weak brotherly smile. The bitc-girl walks over to me and holds the door open. I glare at her as I pass, wishing I could threaten her.

"Damn..." she whistles disgustingly. "What's your type ?" I glare at her, fucking astounded that she has the nerve to ask me something like this after I just brought her boyfriend back drunk out of his mind.

"My type ?" I scoff. "Mayella. Now go treat your man with some fucking decency." She rolls her eyes and turns back, giving me a suggestive look. Fuck off, I want to say. But I can't since it's his girlfriend. Or at least that's what he says.

I leave the house soon after, ignoring her shameless calls. What the hell ? She hit on me while her boyfriend was in pain.

Disgusting. God, I really hate people who take love for granted.

I wanna see her. So bad. I turn on my phone, clicking on our shared photo album to find everything I'm looking for. There's even a picture of her putting a necklace on Kipp. And then there's another one I took of her with Opal in her arms. She's wearing a clueless expression as the little girl snuggles into her. Fuck. I miss her. Even more with all the shit that's gone down this morning. I'm so thankful for her.

I shouldn't have left him in that house. I tense, searching for a number I need right now. A few seconds later and the line connects.

"Raf. I need two men, each stationed on either side of the house. Report anything you hear directly to me." I send over the address to him, making sure I let him know who stays there.

"Aight man, but you qui-" He tries to point out.

"An order is an order. It's T. Get it fucking done." I snap at him and regret it soon after. Raf agrees and I relax. This is the only assurance I can get. I should apologize before he complains to Mayella...

"Fuck, you're right. I'm on it." After I hang up, I send a text to Ale so we can meet up at a nearby café. This day did not start off well but I have plans to stick to. I text her too to reminding her to eat. And wishing I could just tell her to skip class and waddle into my arms. Waddle ? Blame it on the fat penguins.

Eat your sandwich.

She replies straight away which makes me assume that she's having her break right now. She told me she hangs out with Akira...or was it Kirra? Either way, her profile check came out positive. Mayella didn't mention anyone else- any boys. As she should.

: I miss you too babycakes (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃ Remember to drink all the water in the bottle I put on the kitchen counter or else (ง'̀-'́)ง Can't wait to hug you !!! Love youuuuuuuu - your maya ;) hehe

I just wanna eat her. Maybe this is why she has those damn cannibal tendencies.

I mean, I could eat her...hm.

My phone buzzes again and I pick it up with hope that it's my girl. But it's just Ale. Who sent him penguin gifs ? That damn girl...He says he's reached the café already and I speed up. Damn, I'm late.

␈␈␈

"You're late." I nod, shaking hands with Ale before taking a seat.

Does he have to say it loud enough for the whole café to hear ?

My eyes wander to the book on the small coffee table and I quirk a brow, knowing that's not what I asked for.

"The restaurant business for dummies ? Was that really the best you could do, Ale ?"

"It was a book sale, aight ? And besides, they have pictures on each page. One of my friends is willing to get us started but he's on vacation until next week."

"Aight, let's list what we need for now. You told Dean ?"

"Ahan. He's willing to join as soon as possible- Look, they have little comics on the ends. How's Maya, by the way ? Keeping you as whipped as ever ?"

I glare at him but nod anyways. Ale smirks at my response and throws a sugar packet at me with a smug smile.

I don't know how I'm going to build a damn restaurant with this idiot.

I want to tell Mayella, so bad. But I want it to be a surprise. She'll also prioritize this over a lot of other things and bounce around ideas of penguin waiters. Admittedly, I feel useless being cooped up at home. And now is a better time than ever to get started.

I got the girl of my dreams. Any time is a better time.

Especially for kids. Man, I really wanna get those strap up chest things where you can carry kids hands free. That'd be cute as fuck. Damn, maybe we can shop early...

"Hey, you're not going to get anything done if you keep dreaming like that." Ale mumurs, looking through some files.

"Fuck off. Did you find any venues ?" I was thinking of opening one nearby, but I want it somewhere not surrounded by the city life.

"Ahan. Check this out, it's near the..." We spend the next hour or so talking about potential venues and other financial things. My eyes worriedly glance at my phone a few times, hoping that Raf doesn't text me any bad news. Bad news about T.

I've been fucking uneasy ever since I've left the house. I shouldn't have left him. But I couldn't force him. He's probably been forced enough. Ale gets up to order another coffee as I continue to sip my water.

My eyes wander around the small café that has a retro theme. There's a young couple in the corner snuggling into one another and I scoff, do we look that lovesick too ?

Not that I care. If love was a disease, I'd be Mayella-positive. Fucking hell, my sense of humor just disappeared. Thank God I didn't say that shit out loud. It's all because of those fat ass penguins, I know it. I hope Ricky's doing fine wherever he is. Hopefully with Maya. Probably getting bitten...

A buzz sounds out from the pocket of my sweats and my heart beats faster before take a deep breath and answer. It's just Mayella.

"Hey, you want me to come pick you up ?"

"I-um, c-can you please come to the hospital ? I-I'm scared and I don't know what to do. " Her voice is quiet but not pained, so it relieves me. But that doesn't stop my breaths from getting shallow while rendering my ability to breathe right.

"Babycakes ? Don't worry...I'm fine. It's..."

No. All the voices, hers and the cafes, blur into each other.

She has to be okay. She would tell me if anything was up, right ? She would. I'll just go and pick her up. She was probably there because of some other reason. She's not hurt. She can't be. She's not. I said I wouldn't let that happen.

I won't let that happen.

Without thinking anything of it, the phone slips from my hand and I get up hastily. Ale speaks but I can't hear him clearly. I couldn't hear her clearly either. All I know is that I should be in my car right now. I should be with her. What the fuck am I doing without her?

Ale lays a hand on my shoulder, probably overhearing phone call too. She wouldn't lie to me. If it was something serious, I would know.

Mayella's fine. She is.

Please, let us be fine.

__________________

Howdy 🤠!

I won't be updating for the next two and a half weeks due to mocks. If I find time this week, I'll update another chapter since my mocks begin next Sunday. But please, be a teeny bit patient ! And pray that I do well. I have to go into school for these tests too ew

Thank you so much for the love on 'Letters to Elijah' ! Thank you for those who check up on me, it's so sweet :) I don't really use wattpad that much if I'm not updating so seeing them from time to time is so nice. Aight, time to go bury my face into a 300 page textbook!!!! Wooooooowhydoexamsevenmatterwoooo

As always, I hope you had an amazing day and that you and your family are safe and doing well.

Love always,

-.