Chloe made quick work extinguishing the flames between us at school, no one dared to speak a word of our feud. Now that we've made peace, the topic wasn't quite as entertaining as it used to be. Even Vera tried to mouth off about Chloe this morning, and I made sure to shut that down real quick. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically, and it showed through the voices chattering in my ear- they were definitely louder than normal today.

The office assistant, some scrawny kid with curly red hair named Henry James, waltzed right into my first period class and strode to the front, extending a small piece of paper to Mrs. Larrant. Henry left as soon as he appeared, scurrying off to deliver more notes as Mrs. Larrant read the note with her reading glasses perched on the tip of her nose.

"Ivan?" She looked directly at me, gesturing to the door with her head. "Office."

She turned her back to the class and resumed teaching as though she had never been interrupted, but suddenly all eyes were on me. Vera whipped her head around to look at me, but I tried acting unbothered as I packed my notebooks back into my backpack. Vera never ended up saying anything, and neither did I, much preferring to just get up and leave without a ruckus. Everyone likely knew what my summoning to the office was all about, given Chloe and I's near brawl in the cafeteria for all to witness.

The halls were dead quiet while classes were in session, not another soul in sight, which didn't help my nerves. It was a painful reminder that I was somewhere I shouldn't be, listening to people in my head that I shouldn't be.

Ivan...

They're bad, very bad

They can see you...

He's gonna get you!

Squeezing my eyes shut, I took a deep breath before entering the office. I knew I probably wasn't in serious trouble, but that didn't stop my pounding heart and clammy hands. The older lady at the front desk with a gray perm and cat eye glasses looked up from her computer, smiling gently at me even though I was here for causing trouble. She had a kind aura around her, and a gentle southern accent that had no business being up here in the Northwest.

"Well hiya darlin', what can I help ya with?" She drawled, leaning forward onto the counter.

"Um, I was called to the office?" I mumble, looking at the mess of papers scattered across the counter behind her.

"Oh, you must be Ivan?"

I nodded numbly. "Alright dear, I'll let Principal Hannighan know. You can go ahead and take a seat," she smiled, nodding to the cheap plastic chairs lined up against the wall. I absentmindedly picked at a loose thread on my maroon sweater, painfully aware of how long I had been sitting there. You'd think they'd only call a student once they're actually ready to see them, but why do that when I can be taken away from my education for even longer?

I noticed movement to my right, and I looked up to see Principal Hannighan emerging from the hallway. He wore black slacks and a white button up shirt, his tie had red and black stripes representing our school colors. He was quite young for a principal, his hair still a rich dark brown and only minor wrinkles around his mouth.

"Ivan Irlbeck?" He asked, even though I was the only one sitting there. I stood up, slinging my backpack over one shoulder as I followed him down the hall. "You havin' a good day so far?" He smiled, in an attempt to gain my trust and keep the atmosphere light.

"Guess so," I muttered, accidentally looking into an office window to see a young girl sobbing and another woman sitting at a desk with her hands folded. Principal Hannighan suddenly stopped by an open door and splayed a hand out, inviting me in. When I walked in and sat down, he closed the door behind us and sat at his desk, moving some papers around before placing a notepad and a pen in front of himself.

"Am I in trouble?" I blurt, not wanting to beat around the bush with pleasantries. Hannighan looked shocked at first, but quickly brushed it off and regained that sickly professional composure.

"It was just brought to our attention that there was a situation in the cafeteria between you and Chloe Breckett that almost escalated into a fight. We just want some information on what happened is all, it's simply protocol," Hannighan explained, clicking his pen and keeping it poised above the notepad.

"It was just a miscommunication. We already made up yesterday. Everything is fine now," I say slowly, choosing my words carefully given the interrogative feeling this meeting put off.

Hannighan took a moment to scribble something down on the paper, my eyebrow raised as it appeared he was quoting me.

"I see, I am glad you two were able to work it out on your own. Do you have any idea of what you did to make Chloe upset?" He asked with an irritatingly neutral and detached voice.

I gawked. "Me? I didn't do anything, and it wasn't her fault either. We just weren't being mindful of our words."

Principal Hannighan folded his hands on top of the polished wood of his desk, a stern look suddenly appearing on his face.

"Alright Ivan, take a breath. There's no need to get worked up. One of the responsibilities that come with my job is making sure that students are safe when they come to school, and I know you have some previous behavioral incidents on record."

I sat back, defeated. "You- you think I'm dangerous?" I whisper. The last time I remember acting up in school was when I had a bad episode in seventh grade, and I accidentally decked the school security officer in the nose after he attempted to physically restrain me- but that was years ago. That was one of the times I had to be hospitalized; I was young, scared, and going through one of the worst episodes of psychosis I've had to date. I had to admit, I didn't expect one of the most vulnerable moments in my life to not only follow me around for years and even to a new school, but to be used as blackmail against me. I really was a fool.

"No, no, absolutely not. But we know these patterns of behavior exist, and I noticed your grades have been slipping recently. These are concerning behaviors, Ivan," Hannighan tried to sound placating and logical, tilting his head down and painting a serious expression on his face.

There was a small analog clock behind Hannighan's head, and I watched the second hand slowly tick by. I should be in my second period class right now, getting an education and not sitting in an office being accused of being a danger to other students because of a little squabble. The person I would have confided in to vent about how shitty this entire ordeal made me feel was now gone with no explanation. Would anything be alright ever again?

"I'm going to have to note the incident with Chloe in your file, and call your mom to let her know. You're not in trouble though."

I smirked a little at that, as he was completely unaware that Mrs. Clarissa already knew about the argument and wouldn't exactly punish me like Hannighan secretly wanted. And yet, I still had to witness him make assumptions about me right in front of my face. The entire situation made it painfully obvious why so many mentally ill people struggled to keep up with the world. Having a mental illness was difficult enough, but being forced to live in a world that constantly pushed you to the floor in addition to that was even more hellish.

~

"Ivan, where did all the flowers go?" Mary turned to me with a pout, stomping her foot.

"It's getting colder, Mary. The flowers don't grow again until spring," I replied in a light hearted tone, not wanting to sadden her.

"No more English Diaises?" She asked with wide, inquisitive eyes.

"No. No more English Daisies," I confirm, looking out over the field. The ground was dry where I sat, and so was the grass as I ran my fingers through, but there was a chill in the air that was carried by a slight breeze.

"Mary! Let's get inside love, it's cold out here!" Mrs. Clarissa called, Benji running from her side up to Mary and I. He tagged Mary on the shoulder, screaming "you're it!", before the two took off around the field, Mary chasing Benji and squealing. Mrs. Clarissa stopped by my side, bending down to comb through my hair with her fingers.

"Don't worry too much, honey. Some people are just behind the times," she soothed.

I squinted my eyes, looking out over the horizon at the setting sun. What I wouldn't give to go back to the summer, when I met Ethan and everything seemed like it would finally be alright, maybe even good. Mrs. Clarissa appeared to understand that I needed more time, so with a soft pat on my back, she rounded up Benji and Mary and began walking back to the house. I crossed my arms, whether it was to stave off the cold or provide some self soothing, I wasn't sure. A single tear fell from my eye, and I didn't bother wiping it away.

After a while, I could hear someone approach from behind, and I assumed it was Mrs. Clarissa coming back to tell me it was time to get inside before I caught a cold. But the voice that spoke wasn't Mrs. Clarissa's- it was a voice that had been missing for nearly a week. A voice I so desperately pleaded to hear one more time.

"Hi Ivy," it said, and I could even hear the smile behind the words. Shooting to my feet, I whipped around to see Ethan standing in front of me.

~

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