When a sea of silver eyes latches onto me I have the urge to run, fighting it is almost as hard as stopping myself from burying my teeth into a certain Lycan every time he is around. The difference is that while Alarik has pretty high expectations for me, these people have higher ones. They want me to mother them, to be their words of guidance and the shoulder they cry on. To love their Alpha, help lead a pack that I do not believe in.

I am selfish, a beast in my own making through the blood I consume and the lives that I don't mind taking. I pitied these creatures for being desperate enough to accept me because I'd never lived up to such a title.

Slowly, cautiously, I move behind Russ as he politely greets everyone in our path. Valda makes me feel only a little more secure as she glares and growls at anyone unsmiling and within ten feet of me. I recognize the layout of this room, a dining hall for the Lycans and a mead hall for when I was human. The memories of drunken dancing and endless barrels fill me with a sense of nostalgia.

I was feeling at home in the lion's den.

"Feel free to eat anything we have here, or in the packhouse—preferably food-wise and less Lycan." Valda gives me one wink but otherwise keeps her eyes on those around us, I almost laugh at her humor. Almost. "Alpha prefers to dine in his office or room, but maybe since you've arrived, he'll feel more comfortable in the pack setting again. So, prepare to sit through a few meals here."

"What is that sweet sound I hear?" A familiar voice echoes through the room, and I turn to face an overly excited Asger. His eyes are on Valda, the smile on his face softer than usual and I make a note to ask more about that later.

When I turn towards the female warrior I'm forced into a fit of laughter at her murderous expression, and suddenly the noise around us stops. Valda's agitation dissipating as she turns to look at me with curiosity. Everyone is staring at me, effectively killing my amusement. Asger pulls me into his side harshly, creating a chain reaction of Lycans prepared to fight the Beta for a vampire they surprisingly hold so dear.

"I will break those hands if you don't remove them." My guard growls, causing him to hold his hands up and take a large step away.

"Now Val, you know I'd never hurt our precious Luna." The step he'd taken away from me, now turns into a quick approach in her direction. He raises his hands towards her. "You're saving these bad boys for yourself, isn't that right my pretty girl?" A familiar fire lights behind Valda's eyes, while the shock resonates on most of our faces around the room. Her spine straightens as she prepares for war, all the while her cheeks are tinged an unnatural shade of red.

"I prefer my male with better hygiene, a-and less ugly." Her attempt at offending the man goes as well as Leslie's had before I'd left Bowers pack land. Asger releases a howling laugh that darkens Valda's cheeks more and has her rolling those silver eyes. She didn't deter the male in the slightest, as his eyes only shine with more motivation to acquire what he wants.

After reading the still incredibly quiet room, she turns on her heel and begins a beeline for the door.

"Snap Snap, Luna. We have places to be and men to ignore." My laughter echoes throughout the room as we leave, and I realize just how foreign the sound is coming from my lips. Russ follows behind, quiet but not unamused. I liked this group of Lycans, and I certainly preferred their company over the other beasts.

We continue walking for a while, allowing me to see the different examples of beauty on this mountain that feels so much like a cage. My feet eventually pick up our pace, needing to feel some kind of exertion to get the different thoughts out of my troubled head. My escorts keep their distance, allowing me to roam freely, and seems to understand my need for space.

Only when we'd reached a waterfall do I stop, my feet immediately dipping into the magnificent water as I lean my head back with my eyes closed. I rest my hands behind me and feel a small smile brimming my lips at the serenity. I know the Lycans are watching me, perhaps they think I'll dive into the water and simply never return. Or they realize how strange it is for them to be following around their Alphas new vampire mate—the one that doesn't want anything to do with them.

Leslie would laugh at their needy nature; allow she is one of the clingiest women I've met it's different between a vampire and their maker. We are more than friends, or sisters, or any other word you could slap on our bond. Life was dim without her next to me. A different type of soulmate.

I can feel my smile falling away at the thoughts of all my simple losses, mixed into a large cauldron with my more painful ones. I'm grieving the parting with a friend as I did my family, my life. The negativity is crowding my mind, weighing my chest down as I open my eyes and try to shake everything away. It's never that easy, however.

"You think about sad things, vampire." I turn to meet Valdas's gaze, but she quickly averts those silver eyes towards the male who is likely thinking the same thing.

"Losing your life, and the people you've loved is sad, Lycan." I get to my feet, seemingly choked up by the misery that wants to unclog itself from my throat in long sobs. I hold the emotions back.

"We hope you can find happiness here, as no one in our pack has wanted anything more than to have you with us. It may not be the life you'd dreamt of returning to or the family, but we are here for you, nonetheless." She meets my eyes now, a strength behind them. "Let's take you back, Luna. You need some rest."

I process her words the entire way back to the packhouse, and even as I'm walked up the steps of the structure, I'm still a little overwhelmed by her admittance. To some, it wouldn't mean much, but to me, it was a sign of acceptance into a family. One I didn't want or wouldn't allow myself to.

Without warning I grab both Lycans, pulling them to eye level before I wrap one hand around the back of Valda's neck, and with my eyes closed, I pull her forehead to mine. She gasps at the act, and I can smell the salty tears as they begin to fall down her cheeks.

I pull away and do the same to Russ, taking a few moments to respect these Lycans for not only their hospitality but their ability to make me feel better. Even if it was only for a minute.

To me this gesture meant nothing, but to them it was everything.

Once I've moved away from them and have stepped halfway through the now open doorway of their packhouse, I look back over my shoulder with a serious stare.

"We start training tomorrow, Valda. I expect to fight your beast." Neither responds as the door closes, and I begin making my way up the stairs. Any happiness from today washes from me as I approach a place I do not want to be in, and the memories of everything I want in life fall cover me in a cloak of dark misery. Pity parties are for the weak, but today I do not feel strong.

I wondered if, while being with this pack and around a male that makes me feel so vulnerable, I would ever feel that way again.

-----------------------

I've taken place on the floor, the hard surface bringing me a strange sense of comfort as waves of emotions I cannot describe move through me. The change was sudden, from entertained and a little excited to wanting nothing more than eternal rest. I hadn't been like this when I was human, overly aggressive and happy would be the only way to describe the once daughter of our Jarl. My mother would whip me silly if she saw me like this, even now.

I receive an uncertain stare when the Lycan decides to fill a space in our room, closing the door so softly behind him as if to not wake the monster sprawled out in front of him. My pain grows at the sight of him, and immediately I know something is very wrong with me. Alarik stands very still as if one move would send me into a killing frenzy or a full-blown breakdown.

Either choice was valid.

I'd noticed my hunger growing while I'd been walking the territory, even after a small helping of blood it hadn't seemed to satiate me. Being with the Lycans had made it easier to ignore, but now as the delicacy of my mate stood in front of me the hunger hits me harder than ever. My emotions hitting just as violently.

My fangs elongate, catching his eye and making him stand taller. Whether it be pride, arousal, or him being prepared to fight me I was not sure. Could be a mixture of both. I feel pathetic in such a position, and as I don't move Alarik's pose melts into that thick brow-raising and his hands moving to his hips. Such a big, sassy Lycan I have.

"Something is very wrong with me, Alarik." The sound of his name rolling from my lips causes a shudder to roll through his perfect form, those eyes narrowing and swirling with a desire I know all too well. "I fear I may be dying from the inside out."

The look changes at my words and he moves closer to me, bending down slowly to look over my form with what I guess to be a worry.

"Are you in pain?" He questions softly, his sizable hand moving just a hair away from my skin. I swallow, wondering how he could be so close to me without suffocating as I did beside him. Every inch of his overwhelmed me.

"It's not pain." I snap, trying to make him move away from me with my harsh words but only receiving a small smile from my backfired plan. He likes me feisty; I realize. "Not physical anyways, just...here. Add grueling hunger into the mix and I'm beyond the point of pain." I press my hand to the middle of my chest, where the weight of the world seems to be resting. For a moment Alarik just stares, and then he glares and removes himself from the room promptly.

Well, someone doesn't like helping others.

Even with the hopeless crash, I am in the middle of, the small rage of being left once more by a man meant to help begins fueling inside of me. After this spell is over, I will run, leave in the middle of the night and return to my coven. Be with my friend. Live the life I want. One far away from the beastly man who couldn't even-

The door is forcefully thrown open, and the first person through is a terrified human male who smells good enough to eat. I'm on my feet immediately, staring wide-eyed at the offering before me while the Lycan fills the doorway panting heavily. He's pissed as he points a thick finger in my direction, I have the sudden urge to wrap my lips around it, but I don't admit that to him. Instead, I stand there like a door caught in the headlights.

The swelling in my chest is strange, as I realize he'd come back. Not only that, but Alarik had brought me food. The offering had my cold soul melting, only a little, but still. It was a start.

"Eat him, and then we throw him out. No funny business." It's a growled demand that dampens the place between my legs. Hopefully, the human's fear would keep the smell of my sudden arousal from the beasts flaring nostrils.

My eyes turn to the human, sizing up the pray who has now gotten into something I would guess to be a fighting stance. Tall, thick, and ready for a fight.

His blood would taste divine.

My head feels as though it explodes when the pain behinds, starting behind my eyes and shifting towards my jaw where it only seems to worsen. I let out a strangled cry, fear, and surprise spewing from me like the teeth in my mouth begins screaming in agony.

What the fuck is happening?

"Eira? Eira! What is it? What's-" Alarik grabs me by the shoulders and his eyes stare straight into my open mouth, a mixture of disgust and shock on his handsome face. When I pull away, he doesn't try to stop me, instead, he follows closely behind me as I fly into the bathroom like a bat out of hell.

I am standing in front of the mirror with my hands on the counter when the first tooth is pushed entirely from my gums, a scream rips through my throat at the sight. The pain is excruciating. I feel Alarik trying to comfort me, a light touch on my back and the pulling back of my hair as my body shakes at the horror of this situation. One after another I spit the teeth from my mouth, blood covering the once beautiful counter and running down my body.

The only thing keeping me standing is the death grip I have on the su8rface in front of me, and although I thought my agony was over when the last tooth hit the porcelain sink, I am wrong. Their razor-sharp replacements hurt worse as they push through the already healing skin.

One scream after another.

Alarik is shushing me, trying to help me, begging me to calm down but I can't begin to focus on doing any of the things he wants as I'm traumatized by the act my body is committing. Why is this happening to me?

When a new set of teeth have filled my mouth, and the blood has stopped pouring from my gaping mouth only then do I let my legs give into the weight they've been bearing. The Lycan catches me easily, not allowing me to hit the floor as he promises me that everything will be okay. He promises so many things I cannot keep track of, and at this moment none of those things interest me. I'm confused, and still scared. Mortified.

The ache is my jaw only now starting to dissipate, but I'm slowly understanding the last reflection I'd seen. The shark teeth that sit in my mouth give the appearance of a true predator, and the only difference between me and every other vampire that this has never happened to is the mark in my neck and the blood of a Lycan in my stomach. When I turn my cold gaze on Alarik he knows that I know.

This is a change to me, because of our unnatural bond. His Moon has taken a vampire and begun to turn her into a true beast. I'd never be looked at the same, never be able to hunt humans properly when I couldn't open my damn mouth without appearing to them as a killer. My disguise ruined. My self-esteem was ruined.

"What have you done to me?" I beg to know the answer, wanting to know how to fix it. For the first time, Alarik does not try to appear strong at this moment, instead, he backs away from me and into the room where a very confused human has stayed. A stupid human, at that.

"You know I did not plan for that to happen." He whispers, the guilt settling into his eyes as hatred has to mine. At the look I placed on him, he changes. The beast is standing in front of me, spine straight and head held high as his Luna stands before him broken and with all things considered—beaten. "We knew you would have changes to endure, but nothing like this. I swear-" My fist meets his jaw as I seethe, growling out as I try to land another blow to the shocked Alpha but being stopped easily by his put forth strength.

I'm still fighting as he holds onto me, kicking and screaming and trying to bite him with the new set of knives I have acquired. Only when he sees I refuse to give up does he throw me away from him, trying to space between himself and the animal he has created. A day with this man and I have already lost my fucking mind.

"I look like a monster Alarik! Now I don't just feel like a bloodthirsty beast I look like one, too. Everyone will know, my ability to survive in this world without issue compromised due to your selfish decisions." My words start strong but slowly fall into a weak sound as my body slowly loses its fight.

Alarik entirely miss reads my words, thinking this is about my vanity instead of the lack of a choice I seem to have in anything going on with my body or life.

"No, baby. You look fine—you're just as beautiful as always. Nothing has changed, you haven't—" I stop his advances towards me by putting a shaky hand up, and it dawns on him.

"I don't need you to stroke my ego, Alarik! I need you to stop making me pay for the acts you have committed!" This time when I attack, he does not hold his own hands back, instead, he meets me full force. Every punch I throw is blocked; I'm shoved in every direction as he begs me to stop what he deems to be foolishness.

The humans scream barely register as I spew my hatred in the Lycans direction, every hit he lands on me ends with him a pleading word. He hates this, fighting me was painful to him and I'd do this until the fucking sun burnt out if it meant bringing him the same pain, he'd brought upon me. Eventually, he tires of my violence and spins me around against his chest, my skin overly away from how my back fits perfectly against his chest. I hiss my displeasure as a thick arm is pressed against my windpipe.

I refuse to submit to him, continuing to kick and fight.

"You need to calm down." The growl rips through lips and I stop, my body listening to the demand, but I throw myself away from him. Instead, I turn my eyes to the human who has just realized he has an escape route, but the male is not quick enough.

Neither is Alarik.

One lunge and I'm on the man, wrapping my legs around his body to keep him from being able to move as I inhale the fear pouring from him. He's begging and crying, much like I was doing not too long ago. Those sounds end as I use my new teeth on his once-perfect neck.

Alarik is yelling at me. Cursing me up and down, but every gulp of blood is worth the screaming that seems to be becoming quieter. It's worth the anger I can feel brimming the edges of Lycan's control as he watches my body crush itself against another male. He doesn't care that I am killing a man, he's only concerned with the way my body fits against another and the sounds of bliss that leave my mouth while having nothing to do with him.

When I have mostly drained the man, I finally pull away. His life slowly slipping away as the human stares at me with a sense of understanding but still so very fearful of the blood-covered monster staring down at him. A soft plea leaves in my mouth when I grip his shirt and pull him upward, meeting eye level to the male I'd been brought right before another piece of myself had been ripped away.

"Thank the Lycan for what he's done, boy. Tell him to thank you for making the monster that's going to kill you." Alarik tries to step forward, to either save the life of an innocent or end it himself but I only give him the chance to meet my eyes before I bury my teeth into our little human's throat and tear it out.

There's a sound of pain, but after the blood loss, he'd already endured there is no fight. His body gives up, and he is dead before he hits the floor. Pain fills my chest at the realization of what I've done, but I let my overall hatred for the beast in front of me smother it.