《crush imagines》heal it or break it

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throwback (like two years ago) to when i photoshopped me and luke together lololol.

!!!!so half of this is a/n but the rest is an imagine. buckle yourselves in, this is important.

so i understand that so many of you were hoping and waiting for a request, after all, i did tell you that i was taking requests.

now i get it if you guys no longer want to support me, cause trust me, i'd be upset if someone did this to me too.

i just feel so tied down and robotic when i have to do requests. i feel pressured if they aren't good enough. i also feel as if i can't use my imagination. when i write my normal ones, they just come to me. i never have to stress or feel anxious about writing them because it just feels right to be doing what i love most... when the idea comes from my mind.

number two- i lose wifi at like 9:15 because my dad doesn't want to to be on it in the middle of the night, but here's the thing: i write my imagines when i can't sleep so i can't go back and read the comments.

it stresses me out more than it should. i feel like writing is supposed to be enjoyable and like a vacation for free, but writing under someone's command (okay it sounds a lot harsher when i put it that way but you know what i mean) just makes it uneventful and boring. i don't get to use my creative side, which is why i write.

i hope you guys will still support me no matter what, because even if i don't do requests for you, i still care so so sooo much for you all.

all my love,

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amanda.

p.s. enjoy my lil pumpkins! (that sounds rlly weird but just go with it)

-

it's been a week.

a week of bickering, yelling, crying, cursing and only hatred. the fight was never ending and i couldn't even remember how it began. all i knew was that it was either a breakup or a makeup scenario.

tears were streaming down my rosy pink cheeks like niagra falls. "you're never home anymore! does your family even mean anything to you?!" i yelled, poison in each word.

"don't you dare try to tell me i'm the one away all the time, you only talk about yourself!" he spat back at me, his eyes filled with pure anger.

it's been hours of this. using the same excuses to get at each other. it was unhealthy, really. i was lucky he hadn't snapped at me yet.

"i can't even look at you, you disgust me!" i yelled, pulling the diamond ring off my finger and throwing it at his chest.

i ran up to my two year old daughter, riley's room. i grabbed her necessities and clothes and packed it in her pooh bear backpack. she was asleep in her crib, surprisingly.

i didn't bother grabbing anything for myself. i had everything at my parents' house. i carefully picked her up, immediately getting a few screams and tears from her.

"shh pumpkin, go back to sleep." i whispered, placing her in the purple carrier. i flung the bag over my shoulder and carried her downstairs.

i opened the front door and noticed one of our two cars gone. that meant that c/n left, probably running off to a cheep bar. typical.

i opened my door and placed riley in the carseat, strapping her in. i placed a kiss on her forehead and went back to the driver's seat.

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a few seconds later, we were on our way to my parents' house. the drive was risky. it was almost a five hour drive, but what can i do?

we arrived there at nearly two am. the house was dark and looked empty. but what can you expect when you don't give a heads up about this kind of stuff.

i carried riley up the stairs and took the spare key out of the plant next to the door. i walked in and turned all the lights on. "this is gonna be a long night." i mumbled before going to my room.

by now he can either heal it or break it.

a month later...

i cut a piece of waffle and fed it to riley. then i ate the rest of it. it's been an entire month since the fight. c/n has tried to call me at least one hundred times, resulting in me blocking his number and removing his contact.

my parents told me it was being harsh and scolding me on how it was only going to result in more hurting and fights. they kept talking about the law and he could sue me.

at this point, i couldn't care less.

it wasn't until today when something truly shocking happened.

i sat in the living room watching gilmore girls when all of a sudden the doorbell rang. i rushed to the door and opened it. there stood a slumped over, puffy, red eyed c/n.

now i know, 'its so obvious that it's c/n!' well, you see, i ordered pizza right before so fight me. (lol idek ok)

"c-c/n?" i choked out, just above a whisper. "hey..." he weakly said. i no longer felt anger. if anything, i felt love. maybe it was his condition or the fact i still love him, but all i felt was love. and the urge to give him a bear hug.

"w-what're you doing here?" i ask. he lets out a chuckle. "i came to bring you home." he said. i smiled as riley ran straight towards c/n. "daddy!" she yelled.

his face filled with shock. "wait. she can talk?" he asked. i nodded. it felt normal again. it felt like real love.

and maybe people say it's stupid to go back to someone who you've fought with, but why even start a relationship if you don't expect a few potholes in the road?

-

k i know this was poorly written but it's currently 3:40 am and i'm tired so cut me some slack homies.

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