camila cabello, i have questions.

I couldn't breathe, I felt as though the walls were closing in on me. I wanted to kick and scream and break down every wall until I found him. Found him and wrung his neck, how could he do this to me?

I know he knows we're mates, I know he knows what we have is real and cannot be erased, why is he doing this? Are they making him do it?

I sobbed harder, drenching my brothers' shirt even more. The grey material becoming darker and the darkness spreading like the pain in my heart.

It was overwhelming, like a cardiac migraine.

It's only once I began shaking that he started to speak up, "Lerato, you have to calm down. You're going to put your wolf in a frenzy."

I couldn't stop though, I was so weak. I was in over my head, thinking I could be mated to a Royal, of course, they wouldn't follow the rules and would want one of their own. He probably grew up with her and knew her for years.

The baker, sure enough, looked like he knew them both, that day at the bakery within their city. The first time I had seen Madeline, her caramel skin, straight white teeth and bone straight black hair re-imprinting itself in my mind.

Could Royals reject the bond from their side only? But if they could just pick up any girl and claim she was their mate, then Lonwabo could have done the same thing and had pups. But he didn't... If it's so easy to dispose of real mates why did he let himself suffer?

None of this made any sense to me, I was one hundred percent tapped out and one hundred percent exhausted. Most of all, I felt heartbroken and defeated.

Betrayed, too.

Tears still leaking from my eyes, I moved away from my brothers' soaking shirt and took a deep breath, "I'm okay." I announced.

My whole body ached, my heart shattered but I plastered a smile on my face, only Goddess knows why. These are the two people who know me the most in the world, they definitely know a fake smile when they see one.

"No you aren't and that's okay. We aren't going to judge you, you know this." Amanda offered up.

"Amanda caught me up, I'm sorry sis. I don't know what we can do, maybe Pa can set up a meeting? I know he wouldn't let this go though. You are our rightful Queen."

I looked up at my brother, tears still brimming my eyes but no longer slipping down, "I don't want that. It would cause a scene and only put my rejection on blast. I would much rather like to take my L in silence."

"Now's not the time to let your pride get in the way Lerato."

"Anathi, I'm not telling a soul and neither are you." I snap.

How dare he tell me about pride, does he know how mean, rude and ruthless the world, let alone the werewolf community can be? I'd turn into a joke in mere minutes, my real life emotions cast aside as I'm made the bud of every joke, the poster girl for every meme.

The internet would be my personal hell, not mentioning the fact that it already would be. From this day forth I'll have to deal with my timelines being covered with information of the Royal couple.

Imagine adding my embarrassment on top of that. No fucking thanks.

"Sorry," He sighed, "I just – I don't want to see you like this Lera, this isn't how finding your mate should be like."

But it wasn't, besides our actual meeting, it was magical. It was everything I imagined, he was more than I could have ever asked for.

He made me feel, he made me happy, he brought something out of me that I never knew existed. He made me whole. Every day spent with him was better than the last.

It was perfect.

He was perfect.

"You should eat." Amanda chimes from the foot of my bed, "I'm going to whip us up something real quick."

I let out a light chuckled, "Good luck finding anything in that fridge. I haven't gone grocery shopping."

"Well then, there's something for us to do. We ought to get you out of here." Anathi smiles.

"No!" Amanda yells.

My body jumps from how sudden her outburst is.

"Why not?" Anathi asks with furrowed brows.

Amanda opens her mouth but clearly thinks better of it and begins to link him, I can tell by the faraway look on both their faces. With their rude preoccupation, neither of them budge when my phone chimes from beside me.

I finally pick up the device since I had dropped it like a hot cake earlier, it reads my face and unlocks. I see that I received a text message, my heart skips a beat and dread fills my bones.

The tears prick me again, threatening to spill over at any given moment. I wish the world could swallow me whole right this instant. I will these emotions away and taking a deep breath, I open the message from the blocked number and read the contents of the message,

I have explaining to do.

Please give me the opportunity to.

That's it, that's all he has to say? Did he really think I would show up, did he really expect that to be enough? I want to laugh, to throw my head back and let out the most crazed laugh I can manage but instead, instead I cry.

This gets their attention, Anathi immediately taking my phone into his own hands and reading the text, "That's all?"

Amanda who was reading from behind him added, "Honestly."

I requested to be left alone after that, the two sharing a look agreed that they would not leave the house. I reminded Anathi that he had a mate and pup to go hover over and he told me 'nice try', so in conclusion, they were staying.

My home only had two bedrooms and I very quickly and adamantly made it clear that I was not sharing my bed with either one of them. So they should either both bugger off, one bugger off or sadly (this is the option they went with) one of them sleep on the couch downstairs.

With that settled they left me alone, Amanda turning on the television so I 'won't be lonely,' and telling me she'll order in, I 'better eat'.

As soon as they shut the door I locked it. Anathi simply chuckled and muttered something about not being afraid to 'break that shit down.'

I lay huddled in my comforter, staring out the window. The curtains were still shut so I couldn't see the festivities but I could still hear them. It made me nauseous all over again, how can they celebrate a lie?

The next time I lift my eyelids there's no longer a bright orange light forcing its way into my room, the light is dimmer and a gleaming white. Letting me know that the night is upon us.

The television still playing some show I won't pay any attention to.

I try to roam my arm around my bed, trying to feel around for my phone. I come up empty, dammit, Anathi must still have it. What if Micah texted again?

Shit. Micah!

I lifted from my bed, ready to think up some sort of escape plan. Then my body went limp again, I fell onto my side. Why do I care? I pondered, he let the whole wolf world believe that Madeline was his mate.

He's the King, there's not a chance that paper got sent out without his approval. So he knew, he knew I'd see it and he still let it go. He purposely humiliated me and only now that the bomb has been dropped does he remember that he has a real mate.

His words from weeks ago came to mind, "What I wouldn't give to be able to stay like this for eternity. It hasn't been long, I know but I really care about you Lerato. Please, whatever happens, these next few days I need you to remember that. You are gifted from the moon and I am eternally grateful –"

A strangled sound escaped my lips, he knew. Even after he had met me he still didn't try and stop all of this. He let this happen to me, let me feel this hurt. He chose to let the bomb drop, keep his identity hidden and then only deciding to deal with me once it was too late.

With that new revelation, I decided he doesn't deserve my time. I don't owe him a damn thing, he has his 'mate' to ease his 'pain,' while I have no one.

Goddess, he's probably having a party to celebrate his grand discovery. Madeline's probably dressed in a dress fit for a Queen. Smiling and waving at everyone, the damn imposter.

Living my life with my mate in my castle in my clothes.

I had never been a jealous person but the bitterness was jumping right out and I couldn't stop it. I was a rotting blob of green envy and even I must admit it is not a good colour on me.

Maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow I'll be better.