ariana grande, in my head.

I hadn't brought my car with me when I went to Anathi's, I know I walked but I was so shaken by the shock that I don't even remember the walk. I just remember leaving my home then boom bam I was knocking on his door.

Anathi didn't even live the closest to me but anyway, this is all besides the point. Anathi drove me home that night and as I hoped out the car, he walked me to my front door as though I was his matric dance date and he was dropping me off.

When we got to the porch I hugged and thanked him before waving him off, he only drove off once I had shut my front door but I could already tell the scents were faded.

I arrived home to an empty house.

I suppose Lungile was here quite a while back. When I step into my home it's around past seven so it's understandable that they're no longer here. Although, it brings a bit of a shock.

He actually left? Is he serious?

I enter the room he was occupying having to make sure that he actually completely packed up. The room is as empty as it was before he was here, what I do find left over is a note on the bed. How laughable.

Lerato,

Please don't be angry, I've thought this through — I have. It's better if I'm as far from here as can be when all this mayhem occurs. Khalil will back down too, I told him you're fighting two separate fights and he shouldn't take you down with him.

You're the future Queen, you have to set a better example. A far better one than the Royal's or I could ever even attempt.

My guilt for killing Siya has long disappeared and you helped solidify that. However, that doesn't mean the community will be as forgiving.

Please understand that all that I do — I'm doing it for you, for your reign.

I'm sorry but I'm going home.

— Raheem.

For my reign? My reign! Who said I wanted to be Queen, why is he so stuck on this notion of me taking over that position, is that what he thinks I want?

I pick up my phone and try to call him but it goes straight to voicemail, okay smart ass he's probably on a plane. Of course the call won't go through. I roll my eyes at my idiocy, I then try to FaceTime audio call him but he declines every time I do.

Is this really happening?

(20:01) Raheem, please pick up, this is ridiculous. What are you even talking about? Who said I want to be Queen!?! Why are you making decisions about MY life for me??

(20:37) Are you actually joking right now?

(21:08) wow

Each message was read instantly after I had sent it but not response came, the cycle repeated — with the occasional 'I know you're reading these!' — until he switched off his read receipts. Once he did that, I decided it was time to let it go.

That was four days ago.

I honestly didn't think I had it in me, to message and call for four days straight? It's so out of character for me, even so by day three the messages and calls started to dwindle. Day four I would try at random, rather than one after the other.

Today, I'm just staring at the phone on my nightstand as I lay in bed. My mind a wild mess, it was in a tug-o-war battle with my heart. My heart wanted Raheem, my soul clearly did. We have a bond, one made by the Moon but it was also made by us.

The friendship that brewed in Dubai made us stronger, made me want him more because unlike Micah. I actually got to know Raheem, the unfiltered unhidden him.

The real him.

Now, he's acting like a child and pushing me away, actually, that's an insult to children. Zano would never behave like this, my gorgeous little nephew.

He's behaving like an asshole, it was so out of character. So, unlike him.

He lured me in just like Motheo did, he got my attention and piqued my interest. Even worse so than Motheo because I didn't even know Raheem was my mate, I willingly got to know him and I loved it. I let myself fall for him and he let me too.

He tricked me.

Got my feelings involved then dipped, well, sorry for him I'm not going to grovel. There's plenty things I will do in this world but grovel for a man is not one of them. I'm a fucking Alpha too and as he so graciously loves to mention a damn Queen too.

I don't need to grovel for anybody especially not someone who's going to leave without even having an adult conversation with me.

If he wanted to walk away like that and not even bother trying to speak to me — leaving a note and that's it? Well, I got the message loud and clear Raheem fucking Jamil.

(23:59) this is my final correspondence with you, don't you ever call or text me ever again. even when you're over yourself and you've realised that you've made the worst mistake of your life. don't fucking call me.

(00:00) you were right about one thing though, you sure as hell aren't my mate. he wouldn't treat me like this. goodbye raheem.

Yes. I didn't even bother capitalising his damn name and my final move of anger went like this;

Contacts — Raheem — block caller.